Instant Dom

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Dnomyar -> Instant Dom (10/17/2007 9:34:12 AM)
I have a lot of Submissive/Slave friends. I always have guys asking me if I could send one of then their way. They believe that it would make them an instant Dom. I'm tempted to send them a SAM but I would hate to see their ego destroyed. How would you handle the request?

missturbation -> RE: Instant Dom (10/17/2007 9:39:07 AM)
Send one to them, let them learn that having a sub / slave doesn't an instant Dom make for themselves.

RRafe -> RE: Instant Dom (10/17/2007 9:39:34 AM)
I 'd just say..ya, her therapy and meds seem to be working...kinda sorta....... Oh, and are you good at changing diapers? I know one that........[;)]

corsetgirl -> RE: Instant Dom (10/17/2007 9:44:15 AM)
I agree as I believe the work of a dom training a sub takes time to develop and these instant doms have no clue and a SAM would probably be very draining to their psyche. I have known a dom who introduced a sub to another dom. He is more of a mentor to this sub. These doms have known each other for quite some time and are respected friends.

mnottertail -> RE: Instant Dom (10/17/2007 9:47:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar I have a lot of Submissive/Slave friends. I always have guys asking me if I could send one of then their way. They believe that it would make them an instant Dom. I'm tempted to send them a SAM but I would hate to see their ego destroyed. How would you handle the request? If you want to stay friends, you should accompany them for a while and kinda go out to dinner and talk about it. Back your wares both ways. I could say more, but....let this be sufficient trouble for today. Ron

canupleaseme -> RE: Instant Dom (10/17/2007 9:47:57 AM)
[&:] whats a SAM ? I personally wouldnt send my friends anyone if they were domme and wanted a boy I knew purely becasue if it didnt work out I wouldnt hear the end of it and would be made to feel bad for all the crap.

mnottertail -> RE: Instant Dom (10/17/2007 9:50:39 AM)
Smart Assed Masochist: one who inveigles beatings.

mistoferin -> RE: Instant Dom (10/17/2007 9:54:35 AM)
I have a lot of submissive/slave friends and a lot of dominant friends....and some of them are single and seeking. Unfortunately though, of the single ones that I know, I don't think that any of them would make good matches for each other. So, that is what I tell them.

canupleaseme -> RE: Instant Dom (10/17/2007 9:55:03 AM)
I learn a new thing each day on here lol

LadyRope -> RE: Instant Dom (10/17/2007 9:59:47 AM)
Hello everyone; In the past I introduced femdom friends to submissive men I have as friends but the condition always was that I was there to mentor,both parties appreciated it and felt that it was the best way to handle someone who is new at being dom ..that way I also knew that my friend who was submissive was safe. In other words I agree with Ron..

NLitendLady -> RE: Instant Dom (10/17/2007 10:04:28 AM)
Just out of curiousity have you shared with your "insta dom" friends the responsibilities that go with being a Dominant? Do they know it's more than just beat them, use them to cum and that's it? A SAM would put them through their paces. Thats for certain. They might not ever think about it again. Too docile a sub might make them just want more. All too many out there look at only the pleasure they would obtain and forget about the responsibility or that they are dealing with another human being. I would be adamant about being there to oversee so no one got carried away. A SAM with an overzealous wanna be could prove dangerous. Just my 2 cents.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Instant Dom (10/17/2007 10:09:27 AM)
If these slaves and submissives are actually your friends, why would you send them to someone who doesn't know what he is doing? Hopefully you would tell them that, first...??

Dnomyar -> RE: Instant Dom (10/17/2007 10:11:51 AM)
canupleaseme thats why I read these forums. There is always something new that you did'nt think of. I always ask someone new what they envision a Dom is. I usually refer them to the forums here at CM. If you have to ask someone to help you get a sub/slave then you arent putting enough effort into it.

LadyLynx -> RE: Instant Dom (10/17/2007 10:16:15 AM)
If their egos are that easily destroyed, then they need to toughen up.

RRafe -> RE: Instant Dom (10/17/2007 10:19:37 AM)
On a more serious note, I would have to know both parties. And be tutoring the other Top. I can't help develop anyone ele's style-but I can sure as hell teach safe and effective technique. And for me to even bother) I have to see a guy be able to use valid relationship techniques. Rules and structure are used as a cop out/substitute by far too many lazy Tops. You have to show me that you are a decent human being, for me to invest anything into you-Top OR bottom.

xoxi -> RE: Instant Dom (10/17/2007 10:22:04 AM)
Send one right on over...they'll be quite disappointed when the 'submissive' is less likely to do what they want than a 'vanilla' girl is because we need to sense some inherent dominance. And if they are in fact dominant but have repressed it...well then you just might end up the best man at their wedding [;)]

NLitendLady -> RE: Instant Dom (10/17/2007 10:22:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RRafe On a more serious note, I would have to know both parties. And be tutoring the other Top. I can't help develop anyone ele's style-but I can sure as hell teach safe and effective technique. And for me to even bother) I have to see a guy be able to use valid relationship techniques. Rules and structure are used as a cop out/substitute by far too many lazy Tops. You have to show me that you are a decent human being, for me to invest anything into you-Top OR bottom. That is a wonderful standard to maintain.

Phin -> RE: Instant Dom (10/17/2007 11:56:55 AM)
insta-dom, hmmm?? tell them they need to add more water, when they tell you that they have, tell them they added too much...

jesiul -> RE: Instant Dom (10/17/2007 12:03:05 PM)
Instant Dom? My first thought was send them a submissive switch and have her show him how to use various implements ON HIM… that should cure the send me a subbie so I can practice issues.

RRafe -> RE: Instant Dom (10/17/2007 12:06:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jesiul Instant Dom? My first thought was send them a submissive switch and have her show him how to use various implements ON HIM… that should cure the send me a subbie so I can practice issues. I learned a lot from the bottom end myself. And I am not wired maso. Made me have to think of beating ass a bit more seriously.........you never forget things like this.

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