RE: Sweating the small stuff !!

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RE: Sweating the small stuff !! - 10/15/2007 6:44:49 PM

catize

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Joined: 3/7/2006
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Some of your list is very important to me.
I do need and expect respect from the dominants in my life. I can’t imagine submitting to them if there was no respect for me as a person and what I am willing to do to please them.
I am not their girlfriend/wife/significant other, but we do relate as friends as well as dominant/submissive. If I didn’t need a relationship with them then I wouldn’t spend time with them.
I don’t want or need their love, but I do enjoy their warm regard. And we give each other the freedom to seek new partners.
I do have limits and I have trust that they will be accepted.
I know them well enough that I haven’t had to use a safe word for quite some time, but they are the ones who insist we keep them.
As far as contact goes, we write or call each other at least several times a month and get together sometimes less frequently, sometimes more.
Could I live without these men? Sure! But they fill a need very nicely and I hope they stay in my life for a very long time!
edited to add emphasis to a word

< Message edited by catize -- 10/15/2007 6:51:12 PM >

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"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
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Post #: 21

RE: Sweating the small stuff !! - 10/15/2007 6:47:09 PM

chellekitty

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why do you constantly feel the need to defend your relationship to us when no one here is questioning it?

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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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Post #: 22

RE: Sweating the small stuff !! - 10/15/2007 6:51:56 PM

missturbation

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

why do you constantly feel the need to defend your relationship to us when no one here is questioning it?

Could you quote where i am defending it here without being asked a question that perhaps led me to. Personally i don't see i am but hey if thats your opinion.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 23

RE: Sweating the small stuff !! - 10/15/2007 6:54:33 PM

chellekitty

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your original post

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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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Post #: 24

RE: Sweating the small stuff !! - 10/15/2007 6:54:49 PM

obis

Posts: 412
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From: Austin, TX, USA
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It sounds to me like you 95% of the way to Nirvana, you've definitely reduced your earthly attachments more than most (certainly more than I). As usual, if you're fulfilled, i say congrats. Everyone has their own criteria, though I do suggest looking into helping struggling Buddhists.

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 25

RE: Sweating the small stuff !! - 10/15/2007 6:56:42 PM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Because i trust Sir implicitly i know He would not do any of the things you stated. It has nothing to with whether He respects me or not. To be honest i don't know if he does or not, and whats more i really don't care.
Trust and respect may go hand in hand for you but they don't for me.
Oh and technically i couldn't sign over my business to Him even if i wanted to and He wanted it. Really your post is full of what if's that just won't happen so its inconsequential really.

Edited to add -

also fullfillment, happiness, communication cannot truly exist with out respect either

They can't? Oh no i must be faking fullfillment, happiness and good communication then.

then consider yourself extremely lucky that he is who he is, the next Sir you find could up end being more like the one I described and you may find trust, happiness fullfilment and communication severely lacking, because he has no respect for you this is something I learned from having first hand experience, I know the realities of what can happen when respect does not exist and control is lost , and the reason I shake my head when I read some of your comments and I hope to God with the way you view things you never hook up with someone like me ex

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Post #: 26

RE: Sweating the small stuff !! - 10/15/2007 6:57:52 PM

chellekitty

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reaching Nirvana has very little to do with your earthly attachments in the big picture...i don't have the time to explain it...but start with researching the 4 noble truths and the eightfold path....

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to obis)

Post #: 27

RE: Sweating the small stuff !! - 10/15/2007 7:00:19 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

your original post

I don't believe i was defending my relationship in any way. If anything i was questioning it!

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 28

RE: Sweating the small stuff !! - 10/15/2007 7:02:20 PM

missturbation

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My needs, wants and small stuff have always being different for every relationship i have ever had so i cant comment really.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to Maya2001)

Post #: 29

RE: Sweating the small stuff !! - 10/15/2007 7:02:29 PM

WinsomeDefiance

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(sighs) those damn earthly attachments get me every time. I just can't seem to detach myself from all the fun stuff.

^edited: The above was in response to Obis.^

Missturbation: I don't want to be unkind or harsh but there seems a small hint of your trying to convince yourself of these things. (hugs) I'm probably wrong here, but it seems as if you are having a moment of doubt and questioning whether you are really content.

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 10/15/2007 7:05:27 PM >

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Post #: 30

RE: Sweating the small stuff !! - 10/15/2007 7:22:38 PM

missturbation

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Missturbation: I don't want to be unkind or harsh but there seems a small hint of your trying to convince yourself of these things. (hugs) I'm probably wrong here, but it seems as if you are having a moment of doubt and questioning whether you are really content.

I'm not questioning whether i am content or not, i know i am.
More i am questioning why i am content. As i said in a previous post i have always needed different things from diff relationships. Never have i needed so little before and that is what i question.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 31

RE: Sweating the small stuff !! - 10/15/2007 7:35:54 PM

TotalState

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If you are happy - great! We all strive for happiness, first and foremost.

I may find it strange that you wouldn't at least desire respect and love, but your kink not mine and all that. Frankly, I'd be questioning my sub's desires if she didn't at least make some sort of bid for my love and respect (which she has, unconditionally, I might add).

Rightly, you're worrying that you are settling for too little, yes? That you would be happier if he did love and respect you? Perhaps you should try to put the reason for you not desiring it into words. I, for one, would be very interested to hear it (please turn off your sarcasm detector, I'm being genuine).

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Spanking with a smile, living with feeling.

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Post #: 32

RE: Sweating the small stuff !! - 10/15/2007 7:38:27 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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Could it be that your "small stuff " list...is..."small stuff" because it is for the most part already being supplied to you?..so hence no issue?...Tempting

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I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

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Post #: 33

RE: Sweating the small stuff !! - 10/15/2007 7:42:03 PM

missturbation

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Rightly, you're worrying that you are settling for too little, yes?
No, i don't think i'm settling at all.
That you would be happier if he did love and respect you?
Possibly but like i explained earlier its wanting something vs needing it. Im happy and fulfilled enough but yeah i guess i could be more so.
Perhaps you should try to put the reason for you not desiring it into words. I, for one, would be very interested to hear it (please turn off your sarcasm detector, I'm being genuine).
I'm going to have to think on this one and get back to you if i may.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to TotalState)

Post #: 34

RE: Sweating the small stuff !! - 10/15/2007 7:43:31 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
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From: another planet
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

Could it be that your "small stuff " list...is..."small stuff" because it is for the most part already being supplied to you?..so hence no issue?...Tempting

It could quite well be.
Maybe there are certain things on there that i am recieving without conciously realising it.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 35

RE: Sweating the small stuff !! - 10/15/2007 7:54:10 PM

Celeste43

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I'm curious about respect when you say you receive none. So if you go out to a movie and say you really liked the part when xxx happened, is his automatic response to tell you that was the worst part of the movie and how stupid can you be for enjoying it? Because if his response is to say, yeah that was great, wasn't it - then that shows respect for your judgment simply be agreeing with you.

He never sits back after dinner saying it was a fabulous meal? Because any kind of compliment is a form of respect.

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 36

RE: Sweating the small stuff !! - 10/15/2007 8:00:21 PM

chellekitty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

I don't believe i was defending my relationship in any way. If anything i was questioning it!

unfounded defending and questioning come from the same root...insecurity....

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 37

RE: Sweating the small stuff !! - 10/15/2007 9:47:11 PM

obis

Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty
reaching Nirvana has very little to do with your earthly attachments in the big picture...i don't have the time to explain it...but start with researching the 4 noble truths and the eightfold path....

...

Where's Foghorn Leghorn when you need him?

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 38

RE: Sweating the small stuff !! - 10/15/2007 10:04:25 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

damn, i must be hungry...cause my first thought was...i don't have a frying pan big enough to cook him....

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to obis)

Post #: 39

RE: Sweating the small stuff !! - 10/16/2007 3:08:27 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

I'm curious about respect when you say you receive none. So if you go out to a movie and say you really liked the part when xxx happened, is his automatic response to tell you that was the worst part of the movie and how stupid can you be for enjoying it? Because if his response is to say, yeah that was great, wasn't it - then that shows respect for your judgment simply be agreeing with you.

He never sits back after dinner saying it was a fabulous meal? Because any kind of compliment is a form of respect.

I don't think i have ever said i don't get respect from Sir. I have said its 'small stuff' to me and i don't need it. Yes He has agreed with comments i have made and yes He has complimented the one meal i have cooked for Him.

Could it be that your "small stuff " list...is..."small stuff" because it is for the most part already being supplied to you?..so hence no issue?...Tempting

It could quite well be.
Maybe there are certain things on there that i am recieving without conciously realising it.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 40

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