RE: Having it all !!

RE: Having it all !! (Full Version)

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DocRudy -> RE: Having it all !! (10/2/2007 6:38:23 AM)
Make the effort to have everything you want. If you end up not being able to do it all, at the very least you can't say it was due to your own lack of effort. "You can't always get what you want... but if you try, sometimes, you get what you need..." -Stones -DR

missturbation -> RE: Having it all !! (10/2/2007 6:40:58 AM)
*Maybe you're confusing settling* with accepting. Maybe so..**

missturbation -> RE: Having it all !! (10/2/2007 6:44:36 AM)
Something to keep in mind is that if you settle, you take yourself off the 'market' should someone come along who would offer a better fit. Right now for me there is no better fit relationship wise than Sir. I don't have the time to commit my self to a 24/7 type of thing. Right now for me there is no better fit career wise as i have the time to concentrate on my career, and not worry about ruining my relationship through not having enough time to concentrate on it. I'm not off the market but neither am i really in it.

missturbation -> RE: Having it all !! (10/2/2007 6:49:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DocRudy "You can't always get what you want... but if you try, sometimes, you get what you need..." -Stones -DR I like [:D]

Bobkgin -> RE: Having it all !! (10/2/2007 7:02:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation Sounds like a contradiction in terms. There is no "settling" if you "have it all". I'm not so sure it is a contradiction. With the life choices i have made that have brought me to where i am, i see it as i have it all. All that i can have for my choices, if that makes sense. I also see it that i have had to compromise in some areas, had to settle to a certain degree. Yes, it does make sense. But all of us have "all that I can have for my choices". And I suggest most, if not all of us had to make compromises and settle to some degree because of those choices. Thus, we don't have all we want or all we wished for. I think for a lot of people the question "do I have it all" transforms into "do I have enough to be happy". Its a result of weeding the wish list and removing some of the "nice to haves" so that we focus more on the "must haves". That might be characterized as "compromise/settling".

missturbation -> RE: Having it all !! (10/2/2007 7:05:38 AM)
I think for a lot of people the question "do I have it all" transforms into "do I have enough to be happy". Its a result of weeding the wish list and removing some of the "nice to haves" so that we focus more on the "must haves". That might be characterized as "compromise/settling". I agree my wants are not necessarily must haves. I think i have my must haves for now..............

Bobkgin -> RE: Having it all !! (10/2/2007 7:06:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation quote: ORIGINAL: DocRudy "You can't always get what you want... but if you try, sometimes, you get what you need..." -Stones -DR I like [:D] I hate to bring you down, but as I recall the line: "...but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need..." Some of us are still looking, after all [;)]

Bobkgin -> RE: Having it all !! (10/2/2007 7:10:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation Something to keep in mind is that if you settle, you take yourself off the 'market' should someone come along who would offer a better fit. Right now for me there is no better fit relationship wise than Sir. I don't have the time to commit my self to a 24/7 type of thing. Right now for me there is no better fit career wise as i have the time to concentrate on my career, and not worry about ruining my relationship through not having enough time to concentrate on it. I'm not off the market but neither am i really in it. I wonder at the emphasis on the words "right now". Could your doldrums be the result of thinking about a time when these needs change? That you are settling for now to achieve certain ends, but this isn't what you want to have for the rest of your life?

caught4u -> RE: Having it all !! (10/2/2007 7:12:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation I guess however much i thought i was ready to make compromises in certain areas of my life to fulfill others, i just hadn't realised how hard the reality may be. Compromise is a necessity. If there is an area of your life you feel is lacking, empower yourself to make changes to improve that area. Just keep yourself flexible and you will be suprised by what may fall into place. Part of the beauty of living is not knowing what will happen. The key is to be open to receive all, not neccessarily to chase after everything. Example: You are opening a pub and you are going over your books when a vendor walks in who happens to be very intriqued with you. You can either be so focused on your business that he walks in and out of your life with no notice from you (not being open) or you can acknowledge his intrest (being receptive) and possibly starting a fulfilling relationship. It can be both ways. A person can be so intent on finding their love, they lose sight of a fulfilling career. Evaluate what you want most and work toward those goals, but be receptive to the unknown things that life can bring. Personally if I had everything right now, what would my goals be then? If I had my life planned and laid out for me what fun would that be? So I don't have certain things right now. That doesn't mean i will never have them. Make the most of what you do have now and don't stress about what you don't have.

RCdc -> RE: Having it all !! (10/2/2007 7:12:44 AM)
I don't see compromise as settling. To me, settling is long term - compromise is something you do in the moment and every moment changes as does the compromise. And like Celeste said, you can't have everything at the same time. Sometimes, that does happen, but it's so rare it's almost extinct! For me, things come in stages - sometimes because they just happen and sometimes because I have worked at it. If you try and get everything you want and need at once, you may burn yourself out and then you don't get to enjoy it all and even miss that you even have it. I always think of it as if I have all that I would desire now, where would that leave my future? What is there to look forward to? I don't believe you are settling, but living in the moment with the view to future. You know what will make you happy, so don't give up on that, but you are fully aware that there are things that make you fulfilled and comfortable in the now (like your relationship) - so just go with it - you are self aware so you are already way ahead of many. Blergh - that probably made no sense - but you still rock IMO anyhoo... Peace the.dark.

Aileen68 -> RE: Having it all !! (10/2/2007 7:14:22 AM)
Probably one of the most important things you can do is to recognize when a new opportunity presents itself in front of you. Keeping options and eyes open makes one very aware of all the different things they experience everyday. What won't work for you today may be just what you want and need five months from now, but only if you allow yourself to see it and go for it. edited to add....I think it's very possible to have it all, but most need to be flexible in terms of realizing that "all" may be packaged slightly differently than they ever imagined.

DocRudy -> RE: Having it all !! (10/2/2007 7:17:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin I hate to bring you down, but as I recall the line: "...but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need..." Some of us are still looking, after all [;)] In all but the first verse, IIRC, haha. Either way, I stand by my point, lyrical discrepancies aside. -DR

missturbation -> RE: Having it all !! (10/2/2007 7:19:58 AM)
Could your doldrums be the result of thinking about a time when these needs change? That you are settling for now to achieve certain ends, but this isn't what you want to have for the rest of your life? Yep. I don't like to think i'm in the doldrums though, i like to call it flooping [:D]

missturbation -> RE: Having it all !! (10/2/2007 7:21:44 AM)
Blergh - that probably made no sense - but you still rock IMO anyhoo *It made sense to me thank you [:D]* *I now have images though of me sat in a rocking chair in my old age pissing my pants and rocking lol. Amazing how my mind works sometimes lol.* *Oh and you rock too and not in the pissy pants way [:D]*

Bobkgin -> RE: Having it all !! (10/2/2007 7:29:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation Could your doldrums be the result of thinking about a time when these needs change? That you are settling for now to achieve certain ends, but this isn't what you want to have for the rest of your life? Yep. I don't like to think i'm in the doldrums though, i like to call it flooping [:D] "Flooping" it is, then. [;)] In line with the above, you might be experiencing competing emotions: "Oh Boy! I get to do this!" and "Oh God! How long do I have to do this before I get what I really want?" When faced with a lengthy process requiring much patience, I find focusing on the next step helps. If I start looking at all the steps required, it can be discouraging. But if I've developed a plan, laid down the steps, and understand what results I need from each step to go on to the next one, the process becomes digestable. Its the difference between focusing on all the bricks needed to make a house, and focusing on the next brick to be set in place according to the plan.

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Having it all !! (10/2/2007 7:54:50 AM)
hummm wanting it all. Is iT possible I think so. I do know you have to look inward. for example look at all the things you can offer to someone. when you find someone look at all the things they bring to the table. to get to know someone takes time. sure you have the spark and honey period that is normal. but with in that first six months. you should know if its a end all be all relationship. Also understand it takes work. You can settle if both people are going to put a 100 percent of them into it. So many relationships in this lifestyle that i have found talking with people and being around. is that They have one foot out the door. Like and escape plan. Understand personality types this is very important For example i use *the stress gage* How well someone deals with stress ( do they anger quickly. Do they make up stories to cover for mistakes. do they own up to responsibility.) also When I look at people for that I will settle for. I compare them to people who have those ideas and abilities to settle. I use role models that have my same ideas and believes People who are in long term marriages or long term BDSM couples . Think of it like making a car, the design may differer but the concept of building one stays the same ( idea .drawing board , test models , production. )

LordVelvet -> RE: Having it all !! (10/2/2007 8:03:01 AM)
Aileen68, The new pics make following the topic hard to do [;)] LordVelvet

LaTigresse -> RE: Having it all !! (10/2/2007 8:59:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LordVelvet Aileen68, The new pics make following the topic hard to do [;)] LordVelvet Good grief, that is exactly what I was thinking......... Now I have to go collect my thoughts again before I can post anything pertaining to the subject at hand..... muttering.....damned beotch anyway.... **MISST.........I promise I will be back and post on topic......(after I go have some quality "alone" time or something....)

Aileen68 -> RE: Having it all !! (10/2/2007 9:29:35 AM)
Ack! Eek! lol. Thanks

RCdc -> RE: Having it all !! (10/2/2007 9:59:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation Blergh - that probably made no sense - but you still rock IMO anyhoo *It made sense to me thank you [:D]* *I now have images though of me sat in a rocking chair in my old age pissing my pants and rocking lol. Amazing how my mind works sometimes lol.* *Oh and you rock too and not in the pissy pants way [:D]* Haha... I must just add that diaper fetish isn't something we plan to get into... but the visual image made me giggle...[:D] Peace the.dark.

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