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Single bi females in high demand - 9/24/2007 12:55:38 AM   
Prinsexx


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This is because I have been thinking about a comment: ORIGINAL:  by chellekitty

~i am a single bi female looking for a couple and i have been looking for 4 years...if i am in such a high demand.......why am i having so much trouble??? ~

I am looking for one, I am hungry for one and want to play....for her pleasure I feel equally if not more than my own. Also because my new Dom is voyeuristic and also very much so because it is part of my nature to be dominant to women. I also have in mind the possibility of a palyamorous lifestyle which is essentially who I am. I am skillful and also if I am honest and also it would create an emotional closeness which perhaps is more difficult to establish for me with my male Dominant.

But why do they seem so rare? Is it a cultural thing here in England? Is it universal? What is it about being a submissive bi or bi curious female that makes independency rare? Why do I experience a plethora of male submissives, utterly and premptively wanting to be slaves, cucks and domestic manservants at a wink?

Many questions I know but all part of the same need to understand.

Prinsexx xx



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RE: Single bi females in high demand - 9/24/2007 4:54:01 AM   
DivaDuchess


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Are you looking for a 'couple' of bi females or a 'couple' with one male and one female?  Is your Dom ... bi or just yourself?  I have run across a few 'couple' on CM, but most have been Doms not subs or slaves.  About a quarter have been two female, the rest are male/female.  To address your questions:

1.  They're not rare, just ... hiding.  For myself (one half of a D/D relationship), we have been so very PLAYED by some who claim what they are not, it's horrifying.  So many 'couples' of any combination, are simply a bit more reserved.
2/3.  It's not just your location it's all over the place.
4.  I personally perfer someone with the cerebral content greater than that of the average garden salad.  I actually require it.  Though that would be a Domme talking, not a sub or slave.
5.  My other half said the answer to this one is ... men are pigs *lol*.

I wish you better luck as you move forward with your own search but congratulations on your finding a Dom.  Half the battle is over.





_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to Prinsexx)
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RE: Single bi females in high demand - 9/24/2007 5:28:37 AM   
chellekitty


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as the single bi female (submissive even....whats a step beyond the trifecta...? when you guess the top 4...do they have one of those? ooo and a masochistic painslut..do i get freaking gold medal here...but i am difficult to get along with and a smart ass....does that cancel out some of them?) who said that, jokingly, and i just wanted to comment, that...though i am looking to serve a couple, it is not my only option...

i guess the thing is i am not a closed poly triad kind of girl...because i could be happy with a MaleDom/femalesub or a MaleDom/FemaleDom or a FemaleDom/malesub or a FemaleDom/femalesub or heck i even suppose a MaleDom/malesub, if they were open to it, and in turn a FemaleDom/FemaleDom or MaleDom/MaleDom...i guess my only requirement is that there be at least one Dominant in the couple lol...just, know that after our relationship is solid and stable and good and i have had time to figure out which of my needs are not being met...i will start looking for someone to meet those needs....

as for my cerebral content, and i know you weren't typing of me specifically but....you can use the search feature and read my 1500+ posts - if you have that much free time - and judge for yourself...if you want...lol

yes men are pigs...but they are so cute when you wash them up and put little bows around their necks and walk them on a leash down main street...they prance when you do that....yes i am a submissive dammit! lol


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to DivaDuchess)
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RE: Single bi females in high demand - 9/24/2007 5:37:50 AM   
Bobkgin


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From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
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I don't think it is much of a secret that society raises males and females differently, mostly because males do not bear children while females do.

To avoid teenage pregnancy, females are given a heavier dose of inhibitions than males.

Whereas with males, sex is seen as a symbol of success.

Thus there is an imbalance between the number of sexually uninhibited men and sexually uininhibited women.

You may have noticed this whenever you visit the home page here at collarme just prior to logging in.

Look at the list. Look at all the blue on the list, and how little pink/red there is.

Why do so many female profiles complain about too many responses, but not men?

--

It is because of this imbalance that men, seeking sex at any cost, adapt to the situation.

After all, reason some of the men, what woman would turn down a slave who will do anything for sex?

While other men reason they are just not hard-ass enough to convince the submissives the men are dominant, so the men present themselves as hard-ass doms who assume ownership "naturally".

All done solely for the purpose of obtaining sex.

--

This is not to stereotype all men, nor all women. There are exceptions: men primarily seeking relationships (rather than primarily sex), women who are uninhibited.

But between the men who cannot find a sexual partner and the women whose inhibitions cannot allow them to do more than talk on the internet, there are very few genuine candidates for anything more than casual/online sex.

But there will always be more men than women on site simply because men were raised differently than women.

More men willing to do more for sex than women willing to go so far.

It is simple economics: supply and demand.

As there are more men than women, women can afford to be more selective than the men. To counter this, some men promote low self-esteem amongst submissive women so that women do not feel they can afford to be selective, that they are lucky to have the attention of anyone, and so on. Anything that promotes self-esteem amongst submissive women (such as "submission is a gift") gets attacked.

Hard enough for some men to get anyone to say yes without making women even more selective. To encourage women to be even more selective causes such men to see their miniscule chances diminish even more so.

--

I offer no solutions to this problem. This is a product of the Vanilla world and is not going to change to make things easier. The Vanilla world is still deeply entrenched in the Victorian morality.

I will again remind everyone that this analysis is not an attempt to stereotype all men and women. There are exceptions. But visit any dating board and this problem is obvious in a very short time. It is widespread and systemic, and certainly seems to be a feature of the english-speaking people in North America and, from what Prinsexx says, in England as well.


_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to Prinsexx)
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RE: Single bi females in high demand - 9/24/2007 5:40:31 AM   
camille65


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From: Austin Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

I don't think it is much of a secret that society raises males and females differently, --



Well yeah. You have a dangly thingie and mine is all nice n neat tucked away haha so of course we are different.


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~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to Bobkgin)
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RE: Single bi females in high demand - 9/24/2007 5:44:20 AM   
chellekitty


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conversely...i also find it hard to find SINGLE men or married men who are NOT LIEING to their wives (not doing that again...3 strokes in and grew a conscience...and he was gooooood) to fuck when i just want get fucked -skillfully- and leave...all the single guys or the ones that are not lieing to the wives are all clingy and wanna cuddle and shit...saying "come back to bed" as i am putting on my clothes and walking out the door....or they a) fuck like a robot b) get off then get off aka fuck like a bunny or c) smell funny or make funny noises  (and no its not about cock size...cause i've gotten off to a 4" cock and had a 9" cock do nothing for me cause he was an "a" AND a "c" - well he smelled funny and made NO noise....that was weird...)....
chelle's sex conquests over....for the moment
now back to your regularly scheduled programming


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to Bobkgin)
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RE: Single bi females in high demand - 9/24/2007 5:55:49 AM   
LadyLynx


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It has to do with where you are looking, what criteria you have,whether or not you have kids, whether or not you want to be a slave/sub/switch. each aspect/ charecteristic that you want your dream couple to be, makes it alittle harder. And then when you think you may have found a couple that you can love, they say "sorry, we don't think you are compatable."  Yes this has happened to me personally. Wasn't even looking for a couple, was looking for a Mistress...............and well I'm sure you can guess the rest.

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to chellekitty)
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RE: Single bi females in high demand - 9/24/2007 6:26:05 AM   
SirCache


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It could be cultural.  I've had several experiences with women passing themselves off as bi, but really straight and thinking they could work around the extra set of breasts in the room. 

Also, there could be an age gap between people who are single, or more settled.  Many times a person will select a younger girl for whatever reason, if given a choice.  It's not a nice aspect that people judge based on age, but it happens often enough that it could be an issue for some.

(in reply to Prinsexx)
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RE: Single bi females in high demand - 9/24/2007 6:30:09 AM   
xoxi


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FastReply:

Just a random rant...I have gotten numerous messages halfway into a conversation where the guy asks "are you bi?"

My profile says 'straight' right next to where it says 'female' - so I say "no, are you?" and he always replies "hell no" or something liike that.  Like the 'straight' on his profile is more meaningful than it is on my profile.

Apparantly bi females are in such high demand that guys want to try to convert us straight chicks.  They better be careful though...if I start to like bitches as much as I like guys I think guys will lose the mental competition and then I might go total lesbian on them.  Heheheeee

(in reply to LadyLynx)
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RE: Single bi females in high demand - 9/24/2007 6:31:19 AM   
chellekitty


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and i am really bi..and i like old farts *ducks* 

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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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RE: Single bi females in high demand - 9/24/2007 6:32:17 AM   
Bobkgin


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From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
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Lynx,

You are quite right about that. Those of us genuinely seeking are also selective: it isn't enough just to find another seeker.

As limited as the number of seekers is likely to be, it becomes even more limited when you factor in qualities like age, appearance, attitude, ambitions ...


_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to LadyLynx)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Single bi females in high demand - 9/24/2007 6:32:29 AM   
chellekitty


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i might try to convert you....if i could gag you on ocassion...you over think things more than me...jeeeze...lol

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to xoxi)
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RE: Single bi females in high demand - 9/24/2007 6:34:27 AM   
xoxi


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LOL

I talk during movies too.  Keep the duct tape handy at all times

(in reply to chellekitty)
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RE: Single bi females in high demand - 9/24/2007 6:44:17 AM   
TotalState


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It's also just a standard internet thing.  More women in the world than men, but still far more single men looking online than women (apparently, women have an easier time finding a partner in the offline world?).

Makes me feel even more appreciative of my submissive, if such a thing were possible.


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Spanking with a smile, living with feeling.

(in reply to Prinsexx)
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RE: Single bi females in high demand - 9/24/2007 6:49:23 AM   
missturbation


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From the mail i recieve i have come to the conclusion that although my profile says straight (well i think it does lol) a lot of Doms / Dommes on here just presume you are bi really or that you will become bi for them.
Really its the same old story of looking but not being successful that we see frequently on the boards. I dont think bi slaves are rare, just the 'right' bi slave is rare. Just as the 'right' Dom / Domme / sub / slave is rare.
Independence, well i think there are just as many straight subs / slaves who are looking to be dependent on their Dom / Domme as there are bi ones.
I don't think its a UK thing either, loads of my friends kinkster and nilla are bi or gay.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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RE: Single bi females in high demand - 9/24/2007 6:51:05 AM   
chellekitty


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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi
I talk during movies too.  Keep the duct tape handy at all times


so do i....they would hate to see us coming to a movie theatre....


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to xoxi)
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RE: Single bi females in high demand - 9/24/2007 6:54:42 AM   
xoxi


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LOL

ok SO off topic but...when I was in HS my best friend and I went to see "Contact" and we were in our stupid-Catholic-schoolgirls-gone-wild mood....and kept laughing and talking throughout the WHOLE movie.

Anyway this dude came up to us - the theater was like almost empty, just like five other people...and he said "we all paid $8.25 to see this movie and you are talking through it"

And my best friend looked at him and said "well...I paid YOU $8.25....AND YOU KILLED MY FAMILY"

which of course made me start laughing again.  And he went away.

Now she is married and I am old and boring.  But once upon a time I was punk rock.  and it was fun.

(in reply to chellekitty)
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RE: Single bi females in high demand - 9/24/2007 6:55:46 AM   
missturbation


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From: another planet
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi
I talk during movies too.  Keep the duct tape handy at all times


so do i....they would hate to see us coming to a movie theatre....



Remind me never to go to the cinema with you two.
But if i do im wearing my thigh boots, most dommely outfit and throwing popcorn at your heads

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Single bi females in high demand - 9/24/2007 6:57:50 AM   
Bobkgin


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From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

Now she is married and I am old and boring.  But once upon a time I was punk rock.  and it was fun.



"Old" at 24 ?

Thanks.

Now I feel "ancient".

"ancient master seeking ..."

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Single bi females in high demand - 9/24/2007 7:08:13 AM   
chellekitty


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Joined: 3/27/2005
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you are ancient....you should have started building your pyramid decades ago....

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to Bobkgin)
Profile   Post #: 20
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