SusanofO
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Joined: 12/19/2005
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I am wondering how much a partner's looks, brains, wealth or political views affect their overall effectivenss as a submissive or as a Master?
If you are a Dominant, do you ever find yourself attracted to someone specifically because you do consider yourself "superior" to them, in one or more of these areas? Or do you need someone who you see as more "equal" to you in them?
Submissives - do you see yourself as needing a Master whom you see as your "superior" in these areas (or some of them?) or are you attracted to Dominants who are seemingly your equal in one (or all) of them?
For instance, I know I find no objection to someone who is very "conventionally good looking" (at all), but it just isn't the whole ball of wax for me, as far as being an attraction. I can find myself attracted to a person who I consider "cute" for the quirkiest of reasons, even if they have what some might view as a major physical "flaw"- it's a pretty subjective judgment.
So overall, I guess I can be "Mastered" by someone not all that good-looking (or as a Mistress, want to dominate someone some might consider not conventionally hugely attractive). Don't get me wrong - great looking is wonderful, too. It goes without saying, though, that if they cannot manage their own weight or work-outs, I am not going to let them try to manage mine. I think there is no excuse for having yellow teeth these days, either, with all of the teeth whiteners on the market. I appreciate someone who pays some attention to personal grooming and up-keep, no matter what basic looks their Maker gave to them.
I think I cannot be Mastered by anyone I consider a dim bulb. If I repeatedly find them uttering naive statements, or saying things they simply have failed to think through, I can find myself still charmed in some ways, but never willing to entrust my well-being to them. As a Domme (I am a Switch), I can find this slightly charming, but overall, I still like a submissive with brains. I find brains to be a huge turn-on. Two caveats - and very important ones here, though. I cannot abide even the brainiest of men if they simply have no heart. No heart, and I will run for the hills as fast as I can. Ditto as well for having no common sense.
Wealth - Hmmm. This is I guess the most confusing attribute for me to figure out how much to be willing to negotiate with myself on. On the one hand, I've been incredibly attracted to types that are merely holding a job, even if that job barely pays their own rent. If they are really good at what they do - I find competence in itself very attractive.
On the other hand, I don't want to get stuck having anyone "order" me to "help them out" of any financial mess they should have seen coming, or that is a result of their wanton irresponsibility (it would make me laugh at them, actually, and then I'd get "fired" as their submissive. As a Domme, I am more willing to be giving, but they need to have a job). No way are they handling my money, unless I have pretty darned good proof over time they can handle their own). And I am not so sure there isn't a lot to be said for someone having ambition - especially as a Master.
Political views - well, I am an Independent with a leaning toward Democrat more than Republicanism, overall, and I can't describe myself as "liberal" or "conservative" snce I here those words tossed about with such subjectivity I hardly understand what people mean anymore when I hear them used. But if we are way too far apart, it's not going to work for me - mostly because I would tend to border on almost seeing ther views as morally opposed to mine.
But I guess my basic question (besides the above) is:
If a D/s relationship is going to be fundamentally based on inequality anyway - how much should "equal" re: These things really matter? Is it easier to dominate someone less bright or good-looking than you? Or harder? Or does it not figure in your equation at all? If you're submissive - is it "easier" to respect and look up to somoen you consider your "superior" in some pretty fundamental ways?
Or - Is the inequality of a D/s relationship all the more reason they should matter, or not? (and by "inequality", I mean the fact that what a Master says is final anyway - so you can disagree all you want, and it won't matter - you need to do what they say).
Do they matter more if the person is a primary partner, as opposed to being an addition to a Poly family, or strictly a service slave, for instance?
Just curious about what people think about this. Thanks for any replies.
- Susan
< Message edited by SusanofO -- 9/21/2007 5:28:47 PM >
_____________________________
"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson
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