RE: Easier for Doms than subs to be open about BDSM involvement?

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RE: Easier for Doms than subs to be open about BDSM inv... - 9/11/2007 4:40:06 PM

MizzElle

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The only time I've had a negative response was when I was working as a Pro fulltime and I told my mother's friend what I did. She wasn't shocked, but thought it was sad that I was "being exposed to the lowest type of people" at my age (that time I was 21). I guess she thought of people with fetishes and kinks as freaks.

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RE: Easier for Doms than subs to be open about BDSM inv... - 9/11/2007 4:42:49 PM

natureschild

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My opinion, I would NEVER tell my Mother or any other family memeber. Ok well, can't say that abou my Aunt, but thats because she's cool with just about everything.
But what I guess Im not understand is....why should we of the community feel that we have to "come out of the closet" and offer fact that we like, what we like?

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RE: Easier for Doms than subs to be open about BDSM inv... - 9/11/2007 4:51:52 PM

jaxnsax

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quote:

We still live in a society that expects the man to be the bread winner and care for his family if he dose or can not he is considered a failure.

Greetings
Hmm, and what society; or even better; what century and on what planet are you currently living in and on?
jaxon

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RE: Easier for Doms than subs to be open about BDSM inv... - 9/11/2007 5:20:39 PM

Divals

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I'm 'out' to my parents. I kinda had it easy though, with my dad at least, since my older half-brother is openly active in the San Francisco BDSM scene and a lot of the shock that would normally surround it had already been apportioned to him.

And to a few of my friends.

And about the original question... I think, from what I've seen, it's probably easiest for a Domme, reasons already stated.

=Divals

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RE: Easier for Doms than subs to be open about BDSM inv... - 9/11/2007 5:39:03 PM

YourhandMyAss

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And why shouldn't we, if we wish to come out of the closet, or are already out of the closet?

quote:

ORIGINAL: natureschild

But what I guess Im not understand is....why should we of the community feel that we have to "come out of the closet" and offer fact that we like, what we like?

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RE: Easier for Doms than subs to be open about BDSM inv... - 9/11/2007 5:51:01 PM

YourhandMyAss

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I do. It's quite common for women to talk with their gal pals about their sex lives and sometimes fantasies, now not all women, but it is common.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jadedTN

But other than a single man talking to his buddies about his latest "conquest", how many people actually discuss what goes on in private with their significant other?

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RE: Easier for Doms than subs to be open about BDSM inv... - 9/11/2007 6:11:27 PM

adoracat

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my daughter (24) told me a couple of years ago that she was thinking of apprenticing with a pro domme.

i told her to go for it if she wanted it. i've been called a stepford wife, asked how i could be so "middle ages"and generally looked down on for my way of dealing with the men in my life.

gee...i'm happy and they're bitching. sounds like sour grapes....

kitten

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RE: Easier for Doms than subs to be open about BDSM inv... - 9/11/2007 8:57:11 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: natureschild
But what I guess Im not understand is....why should we of the community feel that we have to "come out of the closet" and offer fact that we like, what we like?

Because we live in a world that creates closets whether we like them or not. I'd LOVE to live in a world where my being poly and bi and a switch was NO BIG DEAL.

But I don't. And because of that, I have to choose sometimes to come out or not. No one has to come out- but sometimes it's the right choice.

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RE: Easier for Doms than subs to be open about BDSM inv... - 9/12/2007 4:00:46 AM

interestingtimes

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well the latter part makes sense, tho im unsure of what part of the world has as a societal change that me are subservient to women in the vanilla part of life..

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RE: Easier for Doms than subs to be open about BDSM inv... - 9/12/2007 4:08:15 AM

TotalState

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I'm still "in the closet" regarding my dominant-ness, except to a few close friends (and people who know me within the scene).

It would probably be no big deal to come out to my parents. They are very open minded, and we are very close, but I just don't have the sort of relationship with them that I'd talk much about my sex life with them in detail (it's not polite conversation, heh), and I think being into D/s would be considered detail in my family (too much information, perhaps?).

Co-workers is a different matter. In the few cases when BDSM has come up in discussion, it has had an air of ridicule about it. I don't think I'd be comfortable being that kinky guy in the office.

I'd like it if people knew more about WIIWD. In the end, that probably means sacrificing some comfort for openness.

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RE: Easier for Doms than subs to be open about BDSM inv... - 9/12/2007 7:18:44 AM

SlaveOwnerDave

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Easier for Doms?

I cannot make the comparison, because I do not understand both sides. What I can say is that I am 100% Dominant and 100% Out. I expect, though, that 100% Submissive people can be Out, too, so the correlation breaks down somewhere.

Therefore, the Dom/Sub characteristic has to be separate from the Out/In characteristic.

Dave

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RE: Easier for Doms than subs to be open about BDSM inv... - 9/12/2007 1:30:34 PM

okiniiri

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It's easier to come out as kinky if you're this person, and harder if you're that person.
What genders and D/s positions are these people, you ask? Well, it depends on who this person and that person are.
i don't think gender or position has anything to do with it. i found it fairly easy to come out as bi, kinky, submissive, and poly to the people that i was close to. Anyone else, it's not their business anyway.
Why does D/s position have to be an issue in this?

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