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RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves - 9/8/2007 4:21:47 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:


So... what have difficult walks done for you?


They've helped me to grow as a person, to expand my thinking, and to appreciate what is important.  In the end we have to be our own best friend and primary confidante.  We are charged with making our world better, not depending on someone else to take care of it or us.  I think that strength often happens as a result of struggle.

quote:

Sometimes these people don't realize their own social ineptness... other times they really don't care.  Their own selfness precludes any concerns or issues that others will have.


This is so true.  And even with voices of intelligent people pointing it out to them, they still don't get it. 





_____________________________

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- Albert Einstein

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves - 9/8/2007 5:53:09 AM   
liljoy


Posts: 577
Joined: 3/25/2004
Status: offline 		i have to admit it seems i haven't learned much. i've  tried handle the latest hard times the same way i handled the first. By keeping a stiff upper lip and not letting others see the pain. By ignoring as much of the pain as i can and not allowing myself to cry or IF i had to cry to not let anyone else see and to stop the tears as soon as i could.

These were skills that were needed for survival at one point. The problem is that with those skills a lot of emotion get's bottled up and stuffed down instead of getting delt with and let go. So now when troubled times hit the weight of all the other times hits as well and the weight feels as if it will crush me. When you feel as if you are being crushed you can still block a lot of tears but you can't hide your pain from others. They see through the mask and it makes them afraid for you.

i'm glad You brought this topic up because now i realize that i need to work on finding a different skill set

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RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves - 9/8/2007 6:07:33 AM   
sweetNsmartBBW


Posts: 167
Joined: 5/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

So... what have difficult walks done for you?




velvetears:
"Given me the compassion and insight to understand that everyones walk is different and the ability to understand each persons grief process is different.  Silence and stoicism is your way, doesn't mke it the only way, or any other way any less. 

This reeks of passive agression..... i wonder how long this one will stay open"

I could not agree more...on both counts.  Everybody handles things differently- no two people are alike- just as no two losses are alike.  Grief does not come in a nice, neat, one-size-fits-all package.

Why is it that the folks that cry "...foul, drama, pathetic"  feel the need to further and prolong such discussions?  If the question was legitimate, and was about the walk- instead of a commentary on the walk of other(s)- why the title for this particular thread and the long introduction about how someone else has grieved all wrong?

I still don't get it; and since I'm rather fond of my humanity and compassion- I really hope I never do.  Guess that's what the walk has done for me...


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RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves - 9/8/2007 6:17:09 AM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

So... what have difficult walks done for you?


On afterthought, some difficult walks have taught me not to be so gullible on the Internet.

Its taught me that sometimes when people play the sympathy and pity card at every single possibility and demonstrate the completely wrong reactions when challenged and told their dead significant others who they are so caught up in grief over are "non exsistant" that its most likely that they are just trying to attract new slaves and use their "tragedy" to campaign themselves as a Spiritual BDSM Leader of their New/Age/Theistic/Spiritual/Thesis/Thing/Whatever that they came up with one night while smoking hash and listening to the Grateful Dead.

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 9/8/2007 6:22:56 AM >

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RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves - 9/8/2007 7:09:55 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		Which is why so many-myself included-see constant "altruists" as nothing more than trolls after fresh meat.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

So... what have difficult walks done for you?


On afterthought, some difficult walks have taught me not to be so gullible on the Internet.

Its taught me that sometimes when people play the sympathy and pity card at every single possibility and demonstrate the completely wrong reactions when challenged and told their dead significant others who they are so caught up in grief over are "non exsistant" that its most likely that they are just trying to attract new slaves and use their "tragedy" to campaign themselves as a Spiritual BDSM Leader of their New/Age/Theistic/Spiritual/Thesis/Thing/Whatever that they came up with one night while smoking hash and listening to the Grateful Dead.

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves - 9/8/2007 7:31:00 AM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		Other walks threw BDSM and the gathering of experience has also helped me figure out who on these forums actually has experience and who is just merely googling textbook information to use in his posts to posture himself as an expert.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves - 9/8/2007 7:33:01 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		Uh huh..which is why "castle realm posers" scream inexperience and deceit to me. Those who have been there, usually lost the rose colored glasses along the way.


quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Other walks threw BDSM and the gathering of experience has also helped me figure out who on these forums actually has experience and who is just merely googling textbook information to use in his posts to posture himself as an expert.

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves - 9/8/2007 9:20:47 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Well, I am going to ignore the silly drama part of this thread and go right to the part that got me thinking. The reason being, I think after all these months of reading KoM's posts I understand how he got to the headspace of creating this post. A little delightful sarcastic humour at one person's rediculousness but also being insightful enough and open minded enough to take a negative and make something positive from it. Using it as an oportunity to learn........etc etc etc. And, just because, having a little bit of fun along the way.

I may be wrong but, somehow, I cannot imagine it.

As far as the subject. Forgive me if I ramble, I will try not to. Also, I refuse to even begin to list all, or really any, of my own life crap. Quite frankly, in 45 years, there has just been too much to even bother with. AND, it is over, history, done with. I have moved past it and therefor it has no bearing on this discussion except to acknowledge it's existance. Plus, I don't like soap operas.

I think all of us deal with some serious shit along the way. I've definately had my share. Here is the way I look at it. Two things, first, I have always tried to remember something I heard/read when young, something about, we are never given more than we can handle. Secondly, because of my own spirituality, I believe that on some level we choose our shit.

I will try to explain briefly. I think life is about learning. Granted, I believe in reincarnation and that our souls choose the life it needs to gain the end goal of enlightenment......yada yada yada. BUT, when I was outside working this morning, after reading this thread, it got me thinking.

Most of my difficulties I do feel I chose on some level. I am by nature a fairly lazy person. I prefer the easier route. Also, I am kind of hard headed. I don't like to see my own faults. I also have high expectations, of myself and of others. I have a tendency to turn away from people I see as weak. Those that have tendencies and traits that I perceive as weak and therefor are annoying as hell to me. I also believe that the things in others that annoy us, reflect back to us something within us, that we need to deal with. So, this tells me to question why. If I am constantly having a certain personality, though different people, bugging me.......on some level, am I making that choice to be around them, to force myself to deal with an issue within myself? Similarly with all of life's, less that wonderful, stuff.

So, that being said (if you understand what I was trying to say) I look back at all the shit and just ask myself "did I learn something, did I grow, did I get stronger?" On some level, I can answer yes to all of it. And since I like where I am today and am anticipating what is around the corner and down the road, regardless of how much the icky stuff may have sucked at the time, I am thankful. I try to not play the whole, if only, game. Even if someone else was hurt. Primarily because it is so non-productive. And, because if others were hurt, well....perhaps they needed it. After all, if my soul chose it's hardships to learn, then I will have to relinquish my guilt and acknowledge their choice also.

Now, before someone jumps all overr that last sentence. It's not to say I can absolve myself from my responsibility, that would not be acceptable for me. What it says, that for me, guilt is also a bit of a luxury. It stands in the way of my own growth. I think guilt and accepting responsibity are easy to entertwine and two very different thought processes. I can accept my responsibility, admit I made a mistake. I don't have to wallow in guilt and use it as an excuse to stagnate in my own personal growth.


< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 9/8/2007 9:22:52 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves - 9/8/2007 10:59:18 AM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I have always tried to remember something I heard/read when young, something about, we are never given more than we can handle. Secondly, because of my own spirituality, I believe that on some level we choose our shit.



This is a contradiction - are we given the conditions of our life or do we choose them? - can't have it both ways.   If one belives in the "given" theory, i as well have heard we are "never given more then we can handle", and to that i say a great big BS. If there is a god up there deciding what we get and what happens he definately doles out too much misery to some, enough that it breaks some of them as human beings.  If you want evidence just walk the streets of NYC and see the broken street people - listen to some of their stories and you will realize, IF they were dealt anything, it was definately more then they could handle.  Choosing for ourselves, reincarnation, lessons we need to learn are what i believe and to me make more sense. 



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RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves - 9/8/2007 11:14:17 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Well, I am going to ignore the silly drama part of this thread and go right to the part that got me thinking. The reason being, I think after all these months of reading KoM's posts I understand how he got to the headspace of creating this post. A little delightful sarcastic humour at one person's rediculousness but also being insightful enough and open minded enough to take a negative and make something positive from it. Using it as an oportunity to learn........etc etc etc. And, just because, having a little bit of fun along the way.


am I that transparent???

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves - 9/8/2007 11:17:28 AM   
NefertariReborn


Posts: 381
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

So... what have difficult walks done for you?


On afterthought, some difficult walks have taught me not to be so gullible on the Internet.

Its taught me that sometimes when people play the sympathy and pity card at every single possibility and demonstrate the completely wrong reactions when challenged and told their dead significant others who they are so caught up in grief over are "non exsistant" that its most likely that they are just trying to attract new slaves and use their "tragedy" to campaign themselves as a Spiritual BDSM Leader of their New/Age/Theistic/Spiritual/Thesis/Thing/Whatever that they came up with one night while smoking hash and listening to the Grateful Dead.


Why do I get the feeling that this is about Bobkin, and if it is, why is it in Knight's thread on difficult walks??  Doesn't Bobkin have enough threads of his own where this position could have been posted? 

Knight:
I've majored in difficult walks.  Sometimes, just when I think I have everything in it's place and know how to handle any situation, yep one shows up that reminds Me that I know squat.  I'm tempted to work it out with friends, but as said before, they usually grow weary of hearing it before you've worked it through your system.  I've recently had a reminder that suppression is a fool's game.  I wish I had dealt with an issue the first time it showed up, now it's made "today's walk" a lot harder. 

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RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves - 9/8/2007 11:23:15 AM   
Cyntilating


Posts: 581
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline 		They have shown me just how strong, courageous and capable I am and can be.
 


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Cyndi

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

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RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves - 9/8/2007 11:35:12 AM   
unsung


Posts: 183
Joined: 12/23/2006
Status: offline 		In response to the OP:

This I find an odd question to answer for several reasons, no matter how many difficult hits we take and think we learn; we have little to no control over external influences and the possibility that a situation of similiar characteristics will not present itself to us again.  Every scenerio is different, nothing is identical and how we deal with one instance we would have to alter how we deal with the next instance.  In all these challenges to face the hurdles and to overcome the difficulties all I can respond is that life has taught me to be adaptable to it.  I have not necessarily become more tolerant, compassionate etc, I have just become adaptable. 

Very interesting question though.

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RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves - 9/8/2007 11:41:24 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: unsung

In response to the OP:

This I find an odd question to answer for several reasons, no matter how many difficult hits we take and think we learn; we have little to no control over external influences and the possibility that a situation of similiar characteristics will not present itself to us again.  Every scenerio is different, nothing is identical and how we deal with one instance we would have to alter how we deal with the next instance.  In all these challenges to face the hurdles and to overcome the difficulties all I can respond is that life has taught me to be adaptable to it.  I have not necessarily become more tolerant, compassionate etc, I have just become adaptable. 

Very interesting question though.



Adaptation. the mother of inventation...... Excellent point.. no problem is going to the same.... even if it is only subtle differences..... being adaptable is a skill worth learning.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves - 9/8/2007 11:47:51 AM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline
quote:

So... what have difficult walks done for you?


They taught me flexibility and my own value, that I'm an important factor in every equation that affects me.


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“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


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RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves - 9/8/2007 11:54:13 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

So... what have difficult walks done for you?


Made me wake up. Life is short, and unbelievably precious.
 
Made me realize that I'm not the center of the universe.
 
Made me see that the world is full of damaged people.
 
Love and laugh as hard and as long as you can. Live in a way that allows you to look in a mirror and smile, not avert your eyes in embarrasment.



_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves - 9/8/2007 12:44:24 PM   
amiciaN


Posts: 228
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

So... what have difficult walks done for you?


Made me wake up. Life is short, and unbelievably precious.
 
Made me realize that I'm not the center of the universe.
 
Made me see that the world is full of damaged people.
 
Love and laugh as hard and as long as you can. Live in a way that allows you to look in a mirror and smile, not avert your eyes in embarrasment.




Thank you Level!  The part I put into italics just made me realize that this is something that has changed in my life since NChaka collared me.  I still don't see myself the way He does, but I certainly have stopped looking into a mirror and frowning!   Thanks for the 'light bulb' moment. 

Now to the OP: What have the difficult walks done for me?  As with the others who have answered, they have shown me that I am far stronger than I believed I was, that Life is far more complex than I ever imagined and that it is only the difficult parts of one's journey that lets one truly appreciate the sweet parts.  Human beings tend to see things relatively... we learn by relating that which we don't know to that which we do know; i.e., the word 'tall' is meaningless without understanding 'short'.  (Think of that 'huge' tree or rock you remember from early childhood but haven't seen in 10, or 30, years.  Chances are that if you go back and look at it now, it is not nearly as big as you expected it to be.  But when you are 2'6", 6'2" is huge!)  It is only by understanding sorrow that we can truly appreciate joy.  I am truly appreciative and grateful for the underlying joy that fills my life currently-- thank You, Master.

(insert standard collarme disclaimer regarding personal opinion, experience, YMMV here)

edited to correct repetitive word usage*


< Message edited by amiciaN -- 9/8/2007 12:46:21 PM >

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I have never been lifted so high as when I kneel at His feet.

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RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves - 9/8/2007 12:52:20 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		You're quite welcome, amicia  and a tip of the hat to the two of you, sounds like you're both working your way to something good.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to amiciaN)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves - 9/8/2007 1:11:40 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
So... what have difficult walks done for you?


I have come to realize that I have had no "difficult walks"...the path merely gets rocky from time to time.



_____________________________



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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves - 9/8/2007 1:29:47 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Well, I am going to ignore the silly drama part of this thread and go right to the part that got me thinking. The reason being, I think after all these months of reading KoM's posts I understand how he got to the headspace of creating this post. A little delightful sarcastic humour at one person's rediculousness but also being insightful enough and open minded enough to take a negative and make something positive from it. Using it as an oportunity to learn........etc etc etc. And, just because, having a little bit of fun along the way.


am I that transparent???


Perhaps, or I am just learning to be more observant. Besides, I enjoy your humour, it follows a similar path as my own.

And velvet, I refuse to even begin debating with you. I don't think you are capable of a calm, rational, adult, debate without getting childish. You've made it abundantly clear I annoy you. Personally, I have no reason to give a damn. And so far today, I'm not in the mood to play with you. I have more productive, and fun, things to do. Like waterproof my porch.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 40
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