Speaking on behalf of live slaves (Full Version)

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KnightofMists -> Speaking on behalf of live slaves (9/7/2007 6:49:12 PM)

oh hell. they can speak for themselves...  and they have my permission to do so.

But I can express alot of what they mean to me... but in truth... It seems to be much more important to say it to them directly.

But.. I suspect like many people.. they like to hear me speak about them and what they mean to me.  There is abit of ego in that.. which is not neccessarily a bad thing... but there is a limit I would think.... I just hate to be subjected to a new parent showing pictures and pictures of their new one.... Ok it's cute already... but hell... enough is enough. 

When we put ourselves into a community... if we are going to have functional interactions within that community... well.. we do have to have some sort of respect/politeness to perspectives of others.  It's not a bad thing to toot ones own horn.. but.. there are noise laws for a reason.  When I have to wake early the next morning... I don't want to have forced to listen to the music blasting away at the neighbors...  good neighbors tend to respect the boundaries of those around them.  When indivdiuals fail to show this respect... well.. turmoil in the community is sure to occur.

Unfortunately.. in a community.. it really only takes one person that fails to respect the boundaries of others... that it will cause strife within the community.  Sometimes these people don't realize their own social ineptness... other times they really don't care.  Their own selfness precludes any concerns or issues that others will have.

But after saying all of that... my own opinion has been validated.... I come to see that when aperson walks a difficult walk... we see the depth of character or lack of depth in a person.  We see in ourselves and others our weakness and/or strengths during this time.  Great times hid so much of a person... it is really those struggles that we see the strength... Let the wind blow.. and we see the strength of tree... from the depth of the roots to the strength of it's trunk.

When the day comes that I must say good bye to a slave or two... well ... I am not looking forward to the day that life comes to an end.  Not sure how I will deal with the issue.  Dealing with the lost of someone that is so important and significant to oneself... well.. it boggles the mind and can send emotions into a huge ride.  But.. I do hope that I can walk with grace and strength of character.  I hope that my walk inspires sincere emotions of sympathy and empathy... but no so much that it sparks pity or contempt.  I hope that each time I walk a difficult walk.. I do it with dignity.  I hope that my walk... shows respect for my lost and not to seek sympathy and empathy.

I have had a few tough walks in my past... I have grown because of them... some I wish I would of been a bit better... in fact.. I would say.. alot better.. not all that proud of myself during those moments... but.. I have improved over time.  Even though it's a tough walk... I am not the center of the world... I learned not to be so self-aborbed in my own issues to forget that people are happy and living life.    And their is always someone that has lost more.. or has a harder walk than I... I have found that I am more grateful for the life I live.. and even my own difficult walks.....

So... what have difficult walks done for you?



BitaTruble -> RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves (9/7/2007 7:29:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

So... what have difficult walks done for you?


It really depends on the walk. Some have forced me to face fears or truths that I didn't want to face. Others have allowed a needed process to take place. Some have validated a belief or caused me to change my thinking. I do believe there's a purpose for each step we take but the direction we point our toes is a choice. Then, of course, there are those times when I just stopped walking and needed some sort of catalyst to get moving again. I'm grateful for the people and events which either inspired me to go on or forced me out of some pity place so that I could keep moving. As long as I keep moving, I will always have hope that whatever it is .. it will pass. When it's good, of course, I don't want it to end, but with the reality of movement I have to accept the inevitability that the good also passes.

Celeste



fadedlace -> RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves (9/7/2007 7:34:06 PM)

They've taught me the value of not shoving my grief over death or any kind of disappointment or loss, onto others at every opportunity...in the past when that kind of pain was a fresh wound, I made the error of bringing it up far too often to ones I chatted with, and to local friends.  One friend in particular took it upon himself to allow me to use his shoulder, ears, and e-mails and IM's, to vent and rant about my fears and pain.  He spared a lot of people a lot of fussing at me...and while I know I had to reach and pass that point of needing to talk incessantly about the past, eventually he helped me realize that the future was even more important.  I make people uncomfortable enough as it is - I really don't need to actively help myself in doing that.  [&:]

More than a passing mention when it's applicable to a discussion, of my losses/trials in life, usually either show my unwillingness or inability to move forward in my life in some area, or was *I no longer suffer the "poor me" syndrome* a play for pity, which I vehemently denied was what it was.  Both were publicly distasteful and a clear signal to potential friends or partners of weaknesses best kept to myself. 

I've learned I can survive, even if I don't thrive.  Even without a partner, I can at least try to do my best to complete what must be done.  I've also learned I have a very dark sense of humor and that I'm pretty much a lifelong pervert, and even if I'm not a "pervert in practice" right now, I'll always be one at heart.  [:D]



Smythe -> RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves (9/7/2007 7:38:51 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
So... what have difficult walks done for you?




Walking a difficult path often teaches me to imagine being in another's shoes.
That is the most important lesson I have had to learn
Smythe




MadRabbit -> RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves (9/7/2007 7:43:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

So... what have difficult walks done for you?


They have taught me to embrace them, cherish them, welcome them, accept them, and appreciate them.

Not "Woe is me!" or "Pity me!", but "How lucky I am!"

Because without the hardships, the pain, the suffering, there cant be strength or toughness.





velvetears -> RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves (9/7/2007 7:49:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

So... what have difficult walks done for you?



Given me the compassion and insight to understand that everyones walk is different and the ability to understand each persons grief process is different.  Silence and stoicism is your way, doesn't mke it the only way, or any other way any less. 

This reeks of passive agression..... i wonder how long this one will stay open



mistoferin -> RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves (9/7/2007 8:00:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
So... what have difficult walks done for you?


The difficult walks of my life have been the walks where I have learned and grown the most. They have taught me that I am stronger than I ever imagined I was, they have taught me composure, humility, grace. They have taught me compassion and empathy. They have taught me to appreciate that which I have and not spend my time agonizing over that which I don't. They have taught me priority.

Most importantly I believe they have taught me how very fragile "the now" is and how life can completely change in the span of a moment's time. They have helped me to see what is important...and what is not. They have helped me to appreciate the things we so often take for granted. A smile, a touch, a hug, a moment shared. They have forced me to pull myself up from the pit, down from the clouds...and planted my feet squarely on the ground.



slavegirljoy -> RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves (9/7/2007 8:09:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
So... what have difficult walks done for you?

More than anything else, living through difficulties has helped me to learn to live in the present, to not take this moment for granted, to not dwell on the past and to not dream of the future, just experience this moment, for what it is, as fully as i possibly can.  After all, the past can't be redone and the very next moment could be the last.  i just appreciate every second of every day that i have here to learn, to grow, to help, to love, to give, and to feel.
 
slave joy
Owned property of Master David
__________________________________________________________
"Are We there, yet?  Not quite.  We all evolve at our own pace."



ownedgirlie -> RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves (9/7/2007 8:10:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

So... what have difficult walks done for you?


They have given me a great appreciation for the people and events in my present world.  They have given me the skill of discretion, as to whom I will allow in my world.  There are life affirming people and life depleting people, and I get to decide which I get the most of.  They have given me an appreciation of myself, my light, and my capabilities.



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves (9/7/2007 8:13:49 PM)

Like you, I hope with each difficult walk, that I do even better next time..After that however, I also know that I do not want to face any more major upheavels..the emotional and mental pain they create are not something I want to experience, I know I will..but even trying to make it a growth lesson, it still is something I prefer not to go through....Of course I have also come to the conclusion that where once when younger I found the words peaceful, calm, even boring ,to be horrendous concepts..now I can appreciate them...Tempting



KnightofMists -> RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves (9/7/2007 8:54:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Most importantly I believe they have taught me how very fragile "the now" is and how life can completely change in the span of a moment's time. They have helped me to see what is important...and what is not. They have helped me to appreciate the things we so often take for granted. A smile, a touch, a hug, a moment shared. They have forced me to pull myself up from the pit, down from the clouds...and planted my feet squarely on the ground.


change in a span of a moment..  This is indeed something to hold on to. 

In a moment we can be dealt a hand of incredible pain..... But.. in a moment we can be dealt a hand of incredible pleasure.

To me it's not what is dealt... but how we play that hand that shows the measure of a person.  Good or bad... we can choose our steps to play our hand let the event choose for us.  We can let the pain or pleasure control  us.. or we can take ownership of it and control it.

Trying not to take for granted the pleasures that are in our life... appreciate those smiles and the touch or moments shared.  How we play the hand shows the aspects of our personality.  Weak character is  just as likely to allow pain to rule a persons behavior as it allows to squander the pleasures of life.

We all walk unqiuely... but.. people of strong character will walk strongly.. and people of weak character will walk weakly.



RRafe -> RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves (9/7/2007 8:58:41 PM)

Suffering and hardship burn away the chaff in the soul, and leave behind only the core.

That is when you learn who you are-not who you would like to think you are.



KnightofMists -> RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves (9/7/2007 9:19:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Suffering and hardship burn away the chaff in the soul, and leave behind only the core.

That is when you learn who you are-not who you would like to think you are.


if one has the strength to look in the mirror... because it can be a painful realization.. and a humbling one as well.

But... also.. a very incredible experience as well...



RRafe -> RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves (9/7/2007 9:32:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Suffering and hardship burn away the chaff in the soul, and leave behind only the core.

That is when you learn who you are-not who you would like to think you are.


if one has the strength to look in the mirror... because it can be a painful realization.. and a humbling one as well.

But... also.. a very incredible experience as well...


Or to break the mirror-and simply be.



chey -> RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves (9/7/2007 9:35:37 PM)

I have always said I am glad I did not have a sheltered and perfect life. Of course there are so many things I wish I never had to face through the course of it. The truth is, those hard times were a catalyst to shaping my strength and character.  I simply would not be the woman I am today if things had been different. I know I will not be crushed or paralyzed by life, I know I can handle what comes at me, I know I will be okay! Because of what I have lived I have empathy and am able to open my mind to things I do not always understand. I realize that we all come from different walks and experiences which shape us, and am able to recognize how unique each of us is.  Take me for what I am and I will certainly return the gesture! That is what my difficult walks have done for me and then some!



sublizzie -> RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves (9/7/2007 11:18:06 PM)

Those difficult times have taught me how much I need community and to allow other people to know my pain so they can give me strength when I had none left. I learned that trying to get through them as the stoical, stiff-upper-lip Lake Woebegone-esque person that I am didn't work very well and that sharing my thoughts and grief were good for my soul. It was when I opened up that I was able to finally heal.



chellekitty -> RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves (9/7/2007 11:29:49 PM)

i could not change until i got sick and tired of being sick and tired...i could say a whole lot...but i'm not to the 4th step yet...so...i've heard a lot of people say thank God i am still alive....i say, i am glad for my fuck ups, and the deep dark places i went... or i would have been happy just floating along not acknowleging God in my life...and its been so much better...not easier....never easier...just simpler...lol....
chelle



denika -> RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves (9/7/2007 11:40:13 PM)

They have remined me to live life to it's fullest.

If there were no challnges or bumps in the road we would never  grow.
You and alandra were there for one of the worst challenges I've faced in my life, the death of my Mom. I'll be the first to say I didn't always handle it with grace and I stumbled several times,  I think we all do from time to time. But how we pick ourselves up and handle the fall is what shape and define us.  I'm still treating along a path, learning to be in a world without her in it.
What her death tought me was that Life must be lived fully, with joy,passion,laughter and even pain but it must be lived to it's full capacity to not be wasted.. A glass full, not half empty *s*

It's also easier to survive the ups and downs when you know you are never truly alone, there are friends and loved ones there to help you over the roughest terrain.



denika



LaMistressa -> RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves (9/8/2007 1:01:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

So... what have difficult walks done for you?


Ruined a perfectly good pedicure.



heartfeltsub -> RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves (9/8/2007 4:13:25 AM)

i've found that difficult times can have one of two effects in our lives, they can either make us stronger and more compassionate or they can make us harder and more bitter. The choice of which result we get is up to us. And even if we choose not to become hard and bitter, i have never seen anyone going through a hard time, not stumble somewhere along the line. i think that stumble is also a necessary thing, as it teaches us that we need other people, something that at least i know i fight against, because i don't want to appear weak, but the reality is that we need the interconnection.

Also i really liked what RRafe had to say, hard times do show us who we really are inside, for good or ill.

heartfelt



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