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LaTigresse -> RE: Speaking on behalf of live slaves (9/8/2007 9:20:47 AM)
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Well, I am going to ignore the silly drama part of this thread and go right to the part that got me thinking. The reason being, I think after all these months of reading KoM's posts I understand how he got to the headspace of creating this post. A little delightful sarcastic humour at one person's rediculousness but also being insightful enough and open minded enough to take a negative and make something positive from it. Using it as an oportunity to learn........etc etc etc. And, just because, having a little bit of fun along the way.
I may be wrong but, somehow, I cannot imagine it.
As far as the subject. Forgive me if I ramble, I will try not to. Also, I refuse to even begin to list all, or really any, of my own life crap. Quite frankly, in 45 years, there has just been too much to even bother with. AND, it is over, history, done with. I have moved past it and therefor it has no bearing on this discussion except to acknowledge it's existance. Plus, I don't like soap operas.[:D]
I think all of us deal with some serious shit along the way. I've definately had my share. Here is the way I look at it. Two things, first, I have always tried to remember something I heard/read when young, something about, we are never given more than we can handle. Secondly, because of my own spirituality, I believe that on some level we choose our shit.
I will try to explain briefly. I think life is about learning. Granted, I believe in reincarnation and that our souls choose the life it needs to gain the end goal of enlightenment......yada yada yada. BUT, when I was outside working this morning, after reading this thread, it got me thinking.
Most of my difficulties I do feel I chose on some level. I am by nature a fairly lazy person. I prefer the easier route. Also, I am kind of hard headed. I don't like to see my own faults. I also have high expectations, of myself and of others. I have a tendency to turn away from people I see as weak. Those that have tendencies and traits that I perceive as weak and therefor are annoying as hell to me. I also believe that the things in others that annoy us, reflect back to us something within us, that we need to deal with. So, this tells me to question why. If I am constantly having a certain personality, though different people, bugging me.......on some level, am I making that choice to be around them, to force myself to deal with an issue within myself? Similarly with all of life's, less that wonderful, stuff.
So, that being said (if you understand what I was trying to say) I look back at all the shit and just ask myself "did I learn something, did I grow, did I get stronger?" On some level, I can answer yes to all of it. And since I like where I am today and am anticipating what is around the corner and down the road, regardless of how much the icky stuff may have sucked at the time, I am thankful. I try to not play the whole, if only, game. Even if someone else was hurt. Primarily because it is so non-productive. And, because if others were hurt, well....perhaps they needed it. After all, if my soul chose it's hardships to learn, then I will have to relinquish my guilt and acknowledge their choice also.
Now, before someone jumps all overr that last sentence. It's not to say I can absolve myself from my responsibility, that would not be acceptable for me. What it says, that for me, guilt is also a bit of a luxury. It stands in the way of my own growth. I think guilt and accepting responsibity are easy to entertwine and two very different thought processes. I can accept my responsibility, admit I made a mistake. I don't have to wallow in guilt and use it as an excuse to stagnate in my own personal growth.
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