chey
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Joined: 7/1/2005
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NorthernGent I am not sure if what I am about to say will be addressing your question in the manner in which you meant it, but here goes.
I am a teacher who chose to go into the field of special education. For my first three years of teaching I had 4-6th graders with learning disabilities and behavior disorders as labeled on their school records. By my third year of dealing with their parents, hearing about life at home and trying to give some self-worth to children who had very little, I began to wonder if some of these kids would not be where they were academically had they been raised in another environment. Of about 24 students, I had maybe 6 who I felt were truly inflicted with a learning disability and the other 18 seemed to be products of an environment where they were surely set up to fail. It was a difficult job, I wanted to take so many home with me and show them what it was like to have someone there when they got home, who was not always screaming at them and actually was willing to do homework with them. So while I am not an expert by any means on the diagnosis end of things, my gut said they could have been very different kids if raised in another environment, many I am sure would have excelled in school!
In that time of teaching this population of students I began to wonder just how much a product of my environment I was. I mean I am not like anyone in my family! Of course there are some similarities but we are still so different at the same time. But then maybe that is not the question. Perhaps I do not open up easily because as a member of my family I was never given the opportunity. I was always the "dear abbey" for them and no one really listened to me so I learned to stop needing to talk about me. Maybe my being submissive came about from never telling them no? Granted over the years I have worked very hard at being healthy in my submission but could that not be where it took its roots? Devil's advocate: my never being able to tell them no could be because I was always submissive. *smiles* So confusing! My father always told me I did not know what I was talking about. I hated feeling not only that I might be stupid but that he thought I was. So to date I have put myself through school, including Grad school and two added certifications as well as beginning National Board Certification. I will probably never stop! We could debate whether or not my father's attitude caused me to go this route making me a product of my environment, or if I was taking what I felt, reflecting upon it and doing something positive to effect a change.
So for me to determine environment or self with my students I would need to see what paths they have chosen in life as adults. If they lack ambition, have given up and are headed nowhere then I would think they would be a product of their environment. However if they are making an effort to do something with their lives, make changes and break the cycle then they are more reliant upon themselves. In my life I chose to leave behind the drama of my parent's lives, keep as much chaos out of my own life as possible, educate myself and make a life I could be proud of. So although in some ways I am a product of my environment in many more I am a product of my own conscious doing.
Could we be a little of both? Because I feel my being submissive came directly from my role in my family dynamic, however my being healthy in this choice and my growth is completely due to my own efforts.
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