RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or anoying

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or anoying

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or anoying

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or... - 7/23/2007 7:47:55 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

Congratulations on trying to expand your knowledge, Ross. The Turks head knot is very complex. I wish I had had someone to teach it to me hands on instead of learning it out of a book.

You paid for the class to learn it. The class had a teacher and you utilized that teacher. Sounds like something an enthusiastic student would take advantage of rather than remain in ignorance. Kudo's to you and screw those who had issues with it. They don't pay your bills.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to NControlofU)

Post #: 21

RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or... - 7/23/2007 7:49:15 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

Is there a chance that maybe your behavior was inappropriate, excessively needy, whiny or having to be the center of constant attention....and people were trying to tell you but you just weren't "hearing" them?

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to lonlyrossInNeed)

Post #: 22

RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or... - 7/23/2007 8:02:25 PM

goddessAVA

Posts: 221
Joined: 11/2/2006
Status: offline

well that sucks-I have taken classes before and the really good bdsm educators are patient and make sure everyone understands. I guess just chalk it up to experience and move on, the next time be very insistent about your learning needs and damn all protocal-info sharing should be that SHARING!

_____________________________

Philadelphia's premier Enema Nurse
cleaning out America's assholes one at a time

(in reply to lonlyrossInNeed)

Post #: 23

RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or... - 7/23/2007 8:04:39 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

very well said Goddess Ava i do not understand of late what is up with people why they can not see that passing education a long to make a better comunity is important

(in reply to goddessAVA)

Post #: 24

RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or... - 7/23/2007 8:38:18 PM

lonlyrossInNeed

Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

it has nothing to do with the protocol inside or when playing has to do with what some think i should do there are alot of doms that where there and Dommes that think just becouse i am submissive mean i have to listen to everything they say
it has nothing to do with interupting during a scen i know and i atend to all that protcol couse i know when i play i dont want anyone getting in the way

quote:

ORIGINAL: NControlofU

From my experience, if someone has an issue or concern about some safety matter or some protocol matter, the person(s) with the concerns should take them to the Host/Hostess of the event and let them inform you and/or deal with you about the issue of concern. Theres no need for a direct confrontation between participants that could cause a disruption of the event for the other participants.

_____________________________

To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

(in reply to NControlofU)

Post #: 25

RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or... - 7/23/2007 8:40:31 PM

lonlyrossInNeed

Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

Thank you so much i just wish i could get this last knote done i cant figure it out and am hoping that my friend Ms Maria can help me with it this week somtime

ross.g

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Congratulations on trying to expand your knowledge, Ross. The Turks head knot is very complex. I wish I had had someone to teach it to me hands on instead of learning it out of a book.

You paid for the class to learn it. The class had a teacher and you utilized that teacher. Sounds like something an enthusiastic student would take advantage of rather than remain in ignorance. Kudo's to you and screw those who had issues with it. They don't pay your bills.

Celeste

_____________________________

To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 26

RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or... - 7/23/2007 8:42:23 PM

lonlyrossInNeed

Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

I am not gona say that that could not be the problem couse it could be so i dont know but i do know that no one tried to tell me anything at all when they did have a problem with me
so i think that how do i know what to think if no one tells me

ross.g

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Is there a chance that maybe your behavior was inappropriate, excessively needy, whiny or having to be the center of constant attention....and people were trying to tell you but you just weren't "hearing" them?

_____________________________

To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 27

RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or... - 7/23/2007 8:42:24 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NControlofU

From my experience, if someone has an issue or concern about some safety matter or some protocol matter, the person(s) with the concerns should take them to the Host/Hostess of the event and let them inform you and/or deal with you about the issue of concern. Theres no need for a direct confrontation between participants that could cause a disruption of the event for the other participants.

while agree that you shouldn't be disruptive, i also think that hosts/hostesses (who aren't always Dominant btw...) should not be required or even asked to police and/or babysit a bunch of adults...if you can't deal with an individual who is being dissruptive, sure you should ask for help...but from the example given....asking too many questions in a class and the exageration of people from the event talking about the OP (i am sorry, unless you're a presenter or for some other reason on stage, perhaps legendary and just show up, you're not that important)...it sounds like his "friend" was just being a bitch...and event organizers aren't there to solve your personal problems...if they were they would ask for a lot more money...

(in reply to NControlofU)

Post #: 28

RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or... - 7/23/2007 8:44:41 PM

lonlyrossInNeed

Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

the only speaker and demonstator at the entire event that i think was 100% great and on target and fully there to help was
when Jay Wiseman spoke not sure if anyone knows of him but he is a famouse SM and BDSM wrigter he wrote the book SM101

and sevral others

ross.g

quote:

ORIGINAL: goddessAVA

well that sucks-I have taken classes before and the really good bdsm educators are patient and make sure everyone understands. I guess just chalk it up to experience and move on, the next time be very insistent about your learning needs and damn all protocal-info sharing should be that SHARING!

_____________________________

To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

(in reply to goddessAVA)

Post #: 29

RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or... - 7/23/2007 8:51:24 PM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

Ross, we attended the same event this weekend. You might recognize me from my profile photograph.

And while I was not privy to whatever perceived slight you endured at the event, my advice is still the same. Ignore it. You're making more of it here than was evidently made at the event (as evidenced by the fact that I was blissfully unaware of any problem you had at the event, and cannot say the same for here).

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to lonlyrossInNeed)

Post #: 30

RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or... - 7/24/2007 10:28:10 AM

lonlyrossInNeed

Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

i wasnt awear of the problem untill i got home when someone told me about it so i didnt know iether i am just asking what others would think of this and how they would react and all

im not to great with faces and names but yes you do look familer

ross.g

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Ross, we attended the same event this weekend. You might recognize me from my profile photograph.

And while I was not privy to whatever perceived slight you endured at the event, my advice is still the same. Ignore it. You're making more of it here than was evidently made at the event (as evidenced by the fact that I was blissfully unaware of any problem you had at the event, and cannot say the same for here).

John

_____________________________

To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 31

RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or... - 7/24/2007 10:31:35 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

Nevermind......

< Message edited by MisPandora -- 7/24/2007 10:35:35 AM >

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to lonlyrossInNeed)

Post #: 32

RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or... - 7/24/2007 10:59:22 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I'd be amused, maybe finally just go up and say "OK my ears have been burning, who has a present for me?"

If they aren't complaining to a DM or someone with authority,then it's just immature gossip and should be laughed away.

If they are complaining to someone with authority, presumably they know what's up and will assess what's going on independently and communicate with you.

I agree.

However I would add caution. Sometimes gossip can ruin people's reputations and often that is all you have in this world. Be very wary of who you discuss this with because sometimes someone will tell you about someone else saying something bad about you when in fact it is them and they merely wish to gauge your reaction or try to find more gossipy material.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 33

RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or... - 7/24/2007 1:46:59 PM

lonlyrossInNeed

Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

so far i have cut of contact with the ones who dont understand me and i will continu to do so
i am going to stay out of the PHG seen
and just continue with who i know where i know
i dont need to hear what i do wrong from others if its always gona be in a negative way i will be me and i will hope that i will meet the right Mistress who will one day help me to become better and if that is to help with my problem of speaking tomuch then to be trained to know its better to be seen then heard is somthing that will work out greatly
if its somthing els then its somthing els
my only point in posting this was i realy was hoping to get feeedback on weather you think its right for the gossip or if you think its right for them to tell others what you are not doing right but not come to you directly with what ever problem they may have with you

_____________________________

To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 34

RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or... - 7/24/2007 1:55:14 PM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

Ok, so you now have a problem with some of the folks you met over the weekend. Are you taking any of your own advice? Have you gone to them in order to express your concerns? Have you given them the opportunity to explain themselves? Have you given them some feedback?

Seriously, Ross... you might want to take a bit of your own advice. At least they (whoever "they" are) didn't run to a public website to post complaints about you.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to lonlyrossInNeed)

Post #: 35

RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or... - 7/24/2007 2:10:50 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Ok, so you now have a problem with some of the folks you met over the weekend. Are you taking any of your own advice? Have you gone to them in order to express your concerns? Have you given them the opportunity to explain themselves? Have you given them some feedback?

Seriously, Ross... you might want to take a bit of your own advice. At least they (whoever "they" are) didn't run to a public website to post complaints about you.

John

I may be wrong about this, because Ross can be a bit difficult to comprehend, but it was my understanding from what he wrote that he doesn't know who the people were which complained so that's probably not an option for him.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 36

RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or... - 7/24/2007 2:20:36 PM

lonlyrossInNeed

Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

wondering if maybe i just havnt clearly stated this wich i thout i sayd ones
i dont know who everyone was couse no one came to tell me they whent to complane to a friend if i had a problem with someone i would tell them and wish they had told me i would confront them if i knew who they where but i cnat couse i dont i just had to hear about it from a friend

ross.g

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Ok, so you now have a problem with some of the folks you met over the weekend. Are you taking any of your own advice? Have you gone to them in order to express your concerns? Have you given them the opportunity to explain themselves? Have you given them some feedback?

Seriously, Ross... you might want to take a bit of your own advice. At least they (whoever "they" are) didn't run to a public website to post complaints about you.

John

_____________________________

To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 37

RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or... - 7/24/2007 2:22:24 PM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
I may be wrong about this, because Ross can be a bit difficult to comprehend, but it was my understanding from what he wrote that he doesn't know who the people were which complained so that's probably not an option for him.

Celeste

And if that's the case, there could be no expectation that the people he's complaining about should have, or could have, contacted him. He may not even know with any degree of certainty that anyone complained about him at all. Or if they did, that it was not simply a private conversation that we have all had about someone we met who did not leave a favorable impression. And someone violated the privacy of that conversation to tell Ross, who then runs to a public bulletin board to make his complaint public.

For crying out loud, no wonder there's so much friggin drama out there. And the fact that people encourage this sort of behavior... well... you get what you ask for. More people need to grow thicker skins, and evolve private lives (rather than living them so publicly via computer).

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 38

RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or... - 7/24/2007 2:30:48 PM

lonlyrossInNeed

Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

Thank you atleast a few in here understand what i say even though i can be hard to understand at times
thank you

ross.g

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Ok, so you now have a problem with some of the folks you met over the weekend. Are you taking any of your own advice? Have you gone to them in order to express your concerns? Have you given them the opportunity to explain themselves? Have you given them some feedback?

Seriously, Ross... you might want to take a bit of your own advice. At least they (whoever "they" are) didn't run to a public website to post complaints about you.

John

I may be wrong about this, because Ross can be a bit difficult to comprehend, but it was my understanding from what he wrote that he doesn't know who the people were which complained so that's probably not an option for him.

Celeste

_____________________________

To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 39

RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or... - 7/24/2007 2:34:58 PM

Guilty1974

Posts: 467
Joined: 11/2/2005
From: Den Haag
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phin

Personaly I would perfer someone to come to me,

I very strongly disagree with you. When I'm playing at a party I want everybody to keep their distance (gossip doesn't bug me that much). With one exception: the Dungeon Monitors of the party. A lot of players do dangerous stuff, and the last thing you want is unknown people from the audience to approach you. When you see something that annoys you, please inform a DM or staff member and let THEM handle it from there. They know if what's going on is or is not allowed at their club, they should be able to judge if something is (too) dangerous or annoying, and they should have the social skills to intervene - if necessary - in a polite and safe way.

(in reply to Phin)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: If you are at a BDSM Event and someone was doing or saying somthing that was not properly or anoying

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.141