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Sexual preference vs. BDSM preference - 7/17/2007 7:47:25 PM   
Phin


Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline 		this question is less for the bisexual folks here and more for the hetero- or homo-sexual crowd

do you play with people of the oppisate gender than you are attracted too?

When I first entered the lifestyle I refused to play with men at all. One night it came down to being beaten by a man or not at all. I still consider the beating i took that night to be one of the better i have received. Do I still have a preference? yes. Do I base who I will top or be topped by on the person's sex? no.

Just being curious

Phin


_____________________________

"Isn't wonderful when our bruises show what we hide in the back of our heads?"Fayetteville band, Nephilym

"He is my angel, my devil, my naughty boy, but above anything else my Master"My girl sin
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Sexual preference vs. BDSM preference - 7/17/2007 9:28:15 PM   
EvilGeoff


Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Phin
do you play with people of the oppisate gender than you are attracted too?


Yes. I'll do SM play with males, females, trannies, Martians, frak, I don't care as long as they can negotiate and consent.  Sexually, however, I'm straight.  I have no desire to have a sexual relationship with a man.  Hairy chests and backs just don't do it for me, but that faint little moustache some Italian gals have... now dat's da bomb!  *lol*   Especially when the hairs get long enough to grab with a pair of tweezers... or to wax... YUM!

What?  I'm a sadist!  I LIKE inflicting pain...  Yes, even that kind of pain! 

(in reply to Phin)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Sexual preference vs. BDSM preference - 7/17/2007 9:32:56 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Yup.  Just depends on the energy and the particular feeling of the moment with that person. 

I'm not going to make a choice between "Not being beaten/beaten by someone I'm not attracted to" myself though. 



_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to EvilGeoff)
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RE: Sexual preference vs. BDSM preference - 7/17/2007 9:50:46 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Phin
do you play with people of the oppisate gender than you are attracted too?


I don't have to be attracted to someone to play with them. I just have to trust them. To have sex with someone, that's a whole other thing altogether. Though my preference for service tends to mean I'm cooking for groups of people and I don't know of anyone of whatever orientation who isn't hungry. I like feeding hungry people.

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to Phin)
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RE: Sexual preference vs. BDSM preference - 7/17/2007 9:57:00 PM   
HCWT1


Posts: 161
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline 		Yes,any gender who wants to play(SM)and is polite.If theres sparks and we can fly without a plane, all the better.But to serve is a whole different story.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Sexual preference vs. BDSM preference - 7/17/2007 10:06:05 PM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Well, bi-sexual or not bi-sexual, my play is directly connected with emotional connectedness and relationships and the like, so unless I'm in a relationship with that person, the answer is no. And since while I enjoy being with women, my relationship preference is for men, the answer again is no.


juliet

(in reply to HCWT1)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Sexual preference vs. BDSM preference - 7/17/2007 10:07:32 PM   
daddyscherry


Posts: 85
Joined: 7/10/2007
From: Daddy's Tower, CA
Status: offline 		i personally can't imagine being Dommed by a girl/woman or Domming one myself.....but that isn't to say that i wouldn't if it was something my Daddy asked me to do.

i have however had to succum to doing things that i wasn't into at all with a woman and a man just because my Daddy wanted me to...it's different than a typical scene, but as my Daddy reminded me, it was still in the context of our relationship as Master and slave....so in that sense it was a scene and we played.




_____________________________

~cherry
a.k.a. charismagirrl

For today i won't say but...
For today i won't say just....
For today i will simply obey...
For always i will be your imperfect slave.

(in reply to HCWT1)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Sexual preference vs. BDSM preference - 7/17/2007 10:15:12 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Both my boys are strictly hetero. They cant imagine playing with males, ever.  Kitten, at least, is submissive only with me and doesnt tend to have those feelings towards anyone else, male or female.  Angel believes he is sub to most if not all women, but doesnt act on it.  He does, however, tend to act aggressively and dominantly towards the majority of males he knows and interacts with.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to daddyscherry)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Sexual preference vs. BDSM preference - 7/18/2007 5:20:36 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Had you asked a few months ago, I would have said that I play with males and only males.  That changed less than two months ago, when I promised a female friend that I would do a public scene with her for her birthday gift.  (She had witnessed some of the playing I've done before, and had spoken to one of My previous subs.)
 
To make a long story short, she got her first trip to subspace for her birthday.  Surprisingly enough, I made it to top space as well, which I never thought I would obtain with a female.  We had wonderful energy together and it completely changed My mind about engaging in a scene with another female.  So much so, in fact, that I have plans to do a scene with a different girl here in a couple of weeks.
 
My preference is still for males, because I'm not sexually attracted to females.  Having a female bottom for Me isn't the same as hoping to find a male submissive.

(in reply to Phin)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Sexual preference vs. BDSM preference - 7/18/2007 5:59:07 AM   
Cyntilating


Posts: 581
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline 		Hi Phin
 
what a great question  ..
 
my heterosexual answer is..."yes" 
     but I generally don't consider it "play"  ...
 
 I will add that> when asked ( and I seem to be frequently asked ) if I am "bi" ...I tend to pause...and emotionally scratch my head in thoughtful pause....
  Don't care for labels....don't feel I fit into a category...
I just feel free to express myself, emotionally, physically and sexually...  I am attracted to MEN/MALES...of the confident, assertive, take charge and incontrolofthemselvesandtheirlivesaroundthem type... but I do know there is something about a woman's neck...softness...and kindred connection that I can feel in certain relationships.  I am not attracted to them on the street necessarily ( like I will observe men with attraction )  but if I am in a close friendship that is caring and open> yes, my sensual feelings come out.. ( of course I am respectful of their boundaries if they exist)...I actually tend to just think of myself as open-minded and comfortable enough with myself and my innerworkings to just be free to explore> but if someone wants to call it bi-sexual...go for it...  pick a category...
 
ok  ..wheres my blackcohash..?  having a hot flash..
 
great question..thanks for the mental romp..
 
cyndi

(in reply to Phin)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Sexual preference vs. BDSM preference - 7/18/2007 6:44:57 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		I'll only play with a man and I have to be attracted to him.  BDSM is extremely sexual for me.

(in reply to Phin)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Sexual preference vs. BDSM preference - 7/18/2007 6:53:19 AM   
GhitaAmati


Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline 		Ive played with women, men, trannies, some I wasnt sure what they were..anyway...

Sorry..used to be my job to be the "test dummy" for dungeon equipment..perfect job honestly...

I enjoy sex with both women and men, I can only submit to men, I can only have a romantic relationship with men. Pain is pain, no matter who is giving it.

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.


Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Sexual preference vs. BDSM preference - 7/18/2007 6:55:25 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

I'll only play with a man and I have to be attracted to him.  BDSM is extremely sexual for me.


Say "rutabaga" for me.

_____________________________



(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Sexual preference vs. BDSM preference - 7/18/2007 6:58:00 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Mmmmm.  Rutabaga.

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Sexual preference vs. BDSM preference - 7/18/2007 7:06:08 AM   
LeatherBentOne


Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline 		I've never had the desire to play with a man, although I've been approached by men in public BDSM settings, nor am I sexually attracted to men.  I dont play casually with women unless they have the desire to submit.  For me, its the D/s that turns the S/m on, as I dont see myself as a Top exclusively but a Dominant woman with is also a Sadist.  Submissives must work for their reward because without their submission, there is no pleasure for me to top them during a scene.  IAlso, Im only sexual with submissives who are potential (long term) partners. 

Good question.

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Sexual preference vs. BDSM preference - 7/18/2007 7:08:26 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		No one says rutabaga like you, betch.

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(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Sexual preference vs. BDSM preference - 7/18/2007 7:09:34 AM   
MusicalBoredom


Posts: 620
Joined: 5/8/2007
From: Louisiana/New York
Status: offline 		My former submissive who was with me for 11 years is a complete lesbian.  We lived together and certainly played together.  While D/s play was certainly erotic for both of us, it was completely separate from actual sex.  She and I both had sexual (usually vanilla) parters for dating and other intimacies but the power dynamic was between us.

I have also recently had another experience with a committed lesbian who simply liked to be spanked by men or women.  It just had to have the right "feel" for her.  She isn't really a submissive, just likes a good spanking and is willing to play with people she trusts.

In both cases, the other parties knew that no sexuality boundaries would be crossed.  Just like all such relationships there is a good deal of trust with all parties involved.  My experience is that such matches work when there is mutual trust and agreed upon goals and parameters.

(in reply to Phin)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Sexual preference vs. BDSM preference - 7/18/2007 7:22:44 AM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline 		It's always my Master's choice, as to who uses His slave.  It's His decision.  He always chooses women to use me.  i enjoy being used by women, as well as men, although i have yet to be used by a woman who was anywhere near as sadistic with me as men are.  i don't know if they are afraid of hurting me, or if they just don't want to hurt me, but they have all been pretty mild with me. 
 
If it were my choice, i would choose both a man and a woman.   It's a totally different experience with a woman than with a man and i like the contrast.
 
slave joy
Owned property of Master David
 
"Commitment transforms a promise into a reality."

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phin

this question is less for the bisexual folks here and more for the hetero- or homo-sexual crowd

do you play with people of the oppisate gender than you are attracted too?

When I first entered the lifestyle I refused to play with men at all. One night it came down to being beaten by a man or not at all. I still consider the beating i took that night to be one of the better i have received. Do I still have a preference? yes. Do I base who I will top or be topped by on the person's sex? no.

Just being curious

Phin


(in reply to Phin)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Sexual preference vs. BDSM preference - 7/18/2007 7:24:44 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

No one says rutabaga like you, betch.


Yeah well, every now and then I do something right.

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Sexual preference vs. BDSM preference - 7/18/2007 7:36:07 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		The Dominant I'm dating is as straight as an arrow, but enjoys non-sexually topping men.
He'll even do CBT in interrogation scenes and such.
I'm also straight, but have just begun my curiosity phase and began playing with women about a month ago.
While neither of us is Bi we both play with the opposite sex.
What my preferences are I guess would be based on what intentions I'd like to do something about at that moment.
Most of the time I still prefer to play with men.
suzanne

(in reply to Phin)
Profile   Post #: 20
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