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RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/22/2007 2:18:50 AM   
Copulo


Posts: 268
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DixieAngel

No I never fantasized about rape before it happened. I was very naive and a virgin at the time 
I am so glad to hear i am not the only one to experience these feelings. Yes I trust Master completely, he is also my husband and the love of my life. He however could not answer my questions. I am happy to find a place to share.


Its so difficult for him because he loves you and presumably knows about your rape and his urge to protect you and care for you is paramount to anything else. The word ‘rape’ is such a violent one and its that very thing that injured you and left you traumatized and now your desiring him to do it to you.

There was another thread about this very recently. I mentioned in that thread that I went through very deep counselling and actually told my therapist that I was going to role play this out with my boyfriend. Although she was concerned, she agreed that so long as we talked and understood the implications of what we were doing then we should go ahead.  It all sounds a bit clinical but Im so glad that ‘We’ had her to turn to if need be.

(in reply to DixieAngel)
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RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/22/2007 2:22:17 AM   
LadyPaige


Posts: 187
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I was raped when I was 18 by 3 men.  I didn't report it and the doctor didn't ask when he saw the bruises and the tearing.  I handled it by not thinking about it.  I've been open about it for a couple decades, I guess it's my way of rebelling against the shame I felt at the time.  I've talked to hundreds of women who have been raped, and I personally don't see it as more prevelant in submissive women.  The sad fact is that rape of one type or another is more common than not.  I also have rape fantasies, only my fantasies aren't terrifying.  I'm no shrink, but I personally think it's my way of dealing with the fear. I'd like to clarify that when I say one type or another I don't belittle the trauma of date rape.  At least when I was raped it wasn't by someone I trusted.  I just wanted to indicate that I was including all rapes and not just violent ones.

< Message edited by LadyPaige -- 5/22/2007 2:26:02 AM >

(in reply to Copulo)
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RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/22/2007 2:24:39 AM   
MissOchistic


Posts: 315
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline 		I can tell you this...

I too have gone through rape and assault, and I too later came to have fantasies. After much thought and meditation of the matter, I have realized the reason I do it myself is partly to come to terms with something I would consciously try to forget (which I don't think is good), and partly because making it a game and making it a nice thing makes it that much easier to deal with.

I don't know your reasoning behind it, but I assure you nothing but good has come from me acting out and being open with these emotions and fantasies; they have played a large part in my recovery.


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(in reply to ennaozzie)
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RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/22/2007 2:28:02 AM   
Copulo


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Joined: 5/3/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ennaozzie

I do it because i like it, i got over what happend years ago. its not a form of therpy to me, its what i like and when the optunity arises i will do it again, its not something i have to have all the time just something i like to do sometimes.


And that’s fine but as someone who is part of a rape crisis group, each and everyone of us are different and each and every one of us will react differently to a situation.
I know women that have tried to commit suicide over their experience and I have known women that have stood tall and proud and said ‘hey Im not going to be a victim, Im a survivor’.  We recently had a woman in our group who had her pelvis shattered, her womb torn out and who was between life and death for many weeks after her rape but she has been so strong in dealing with it. I know other women that were raped by their boyfriends who are clearly not dealing with it.
People cope in different ways but hidden traumas can work like a time bomb and those kind of emotions need to be dealt with before asking a guy to force you.

(in reply to ennaozzie)
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RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/22/2007 2:41:02 AM   
ennaozzie


Posts: 201
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline 		Very true many react in different ways and each has to deal with things in different ways no one cure if you can call it that is right for everyone, i think its a process you have to go through with yourself and that process is always different with everyone.

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RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/22/2007 2:55:19 AM   
SanDieganMichael


Posts: 56
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: San Diego
Status: offline 		I can just add, as you might see here, that such fantasies are not exculsive to those who have been raped. 

(in reply to ennaozzie)
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RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/22/2007 3:14:35 AM   
sleazybutterfly


Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		I had the fantasy before I was raped, and it has continued afterward.  My mind totally knows the difference between what was forced upon me and what we do in play.  Rape play is probably one of the things I enjoy the most and we engage in it pretty often.  There isn't anything not normal about it, though I know that some can't stand it because they were raped, or they feel guilty about it becoming fantasy.  I have never had a flashback during a scene, but I still do during rape scenes in movies and such.  I think that with my M, someone I trust and know wouldn't hurt me, it's one of the biggest turn-ons that exist.



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RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/22/2007 3:17:00 AM   
NakedGirlScout


Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		It's helped me since I started calling it Take-Down Play instead of the rape word. It's only semantics but rape really does have such bad connotations that changing the word seemed to make me more at ease with it.

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)
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RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/22/2007 7:17:18 AM   
DixieAngel


Posts: 32
Joined: 3/21/2007
Status: offline 		This has helped me so much I am glad I posted now. I am talking more about it with him. We have to go out for a while today but I will post more thoughts later. TY again to all who responded.

(in reply to NakedGirlScout)
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RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/22/2007 1:33:59 PM   
eveningtwilight


Posts: 48
Joined: 5/22/2007
Status: offline 		DixieAngel,

I always thought it was a natural thing to fantacize about, mostly because it accentuates how delicate, small, fragile and weak we are. I always thought those were the common desires of a woman...to be smaller than the man, weaker than a man, delicate, vulnerable and so forth. It makes our "night in shining armour" all the more powerful to us. I believe Rape Play puts all those instinctive traits in our face. It is a very powerful reminder of our femininity.

That being said, my analogy may be all a bunch of crap because my past is also tainted. My fantacy goes back as far as I can remember, so I can't say which came first (the chicken or the egg). 

Perhaps my fantacies are messed up. I don't know for sure, but I share the fantacy, but my fantacy always involve a rapist who cares about me on some sort of personal level and would never hurt me too much.


(in reply to DixieAngel)
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RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/22/2007 3:59:47 PM   
pinksugarsub


Posts: 1224
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DixieAngel

Hello all. I am a bit leary of putting myself out there with this question but it has been a burning question for some time so here goes. To start with a bit of background. I was a victim of rape in my early teens by my best friends brother. It was not a violent rape but scary and horribly painful none the less. My best friend never knew about it nor did anyone else. When I got involved in D/s and became collared by Master, we were exploring what desires and fantasies I wanted to experience. I admitted to him that I fantasized about rape play. I also told him what had happened to me.
My question is why do I fantasize about a play scence like this when it happened to me in real life?  Is this something that anyone else has experienced?



Dixie i think force play is a common submissive fantasy; yr rape doesn't change the fact that you have much in common with other submissives.  Perhaps you wanna "repeat" the experience with Someone you trust; to remake the memory so it's a good one.  Whatever the reason, talk about it with yr Master but don't shy away from s'thing that might give Y/you both great joy because you think there's a stigma.

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RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/22/2007 4:48:33 PM   
MistressKay


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/6/2004
Status: offline 		Fantasy rape is probably the most common fantasy among women but it is still taboo to discuss it in most circles because of the implied desire to be violated.... when a woman has rape fantasies it isn't about being violated - its about being taken sexually in a vunerable way without the violation.

It is the exact same fantasy that harloquin romance makes millions on... that vunerable woman being taken sexually by a strong powerful pirate, or the handsome knight, it is being taken as a woman by a "real" alpha male type that adds to the thrill for these women. They are aroused by this man, they are sexually used in a way that thrills them, they feel feminine and sexual in the process without feeling violated.  Fantasy role playing can certainly add spice to a relationship so long as everyones boundaries are respected.

(in reply to ennaozzie)
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RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/22/2007 4:56:01 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14449
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SanDieganMichael

I can just add, as you might see here, that such fantasies are not exculsive to those who have been raped. 

Agreed. I was neither raped nor sexually abused...and this is one of my favorite forms of play.

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(in reply to SanDieganMichael)
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RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/22/2007 5:44:57 PM   
mcandi


Posts: 3
Status: offline 		I too was raped  and at the time i cried during never pressed charges but now fantisize about chooseing to have no control.  It is not the same as being raped when it is a desire you have.

(in reply to ReaderSub)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/22/2007 6:06:48 PM   
DixieAngel


Posts: 32
Joined: 3/21/2007
Status: offline 		I can see now after reading all your posts and thinking it over that possibly this early experience awakened something in me, a part of me, that I am just now experiencing fully. That complete loss of control, being taken and used that i crave as a collared sub. I was in shock after the rape and blocked it out of my mind so completely that not until the last few years did i even acknowledge or remember it happening. I never related the two until now.

(in reply to mcandi)
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RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/22/2007 6:13:33 PM   
marfre


Posts: 41
Joined: 5/5/2007
Status: offline 		As CuriousLord and Faramir both stated, forced sex or rape is the most highly ranked sexual fantasy among all women ( in several articles I've read)…. vanilla or sub, sexual abusive background or not. It represents a longing for excitement and danger played out in a controlled environment. The same sensations we also crave in rollercoaster’s and other adventurous activities. It’s normal and healthy fantasy.

That being said, if you have had a traumatic rape experience, it would be best to discuss it with a professional (at the least, have a long discussion with your Master) before acting it out. You never know what emotions can be exacerbated in a scene like that. Rape scenes are emotionally charged play without the history. I would hate to see anything come between what sounds like a very happy relationship with your Master.


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________
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just bad girls found out.
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(in reply to DixieAngel)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/22/2007 6:20:21 PM   
DixieAngel


Posts: 32
Joined: 3/21/2007
Status: offline 		yes i agree with you totally. If we ever act this out there will be a lot of discussion beforehand.
Question for Marcus440, I just noticed your post what or who were you talking about understanding? sorry not following you.

< Message edited by DixieAngel -- 5/22/2007 6:23:15 PM >

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RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/22/2007 11:57:39 PM   
Masque66


Posts: 185
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline 		It's good to hear that this is helping you.  I imagine a lot of other readers too shy to post have probably found some solace reading this thread as well.

(in reply to DixieAngel)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/23/2007 12:03:43 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I think there's a slightly different explanation for it.

If you think over how many rapes there must have been ever since the Stone Age, I think you'll agree that virtually everyone alive is the descendant of a woman who was raped.

Not sayin' it's pretty.

quote:

ORIGINAL: marfre

As CuriousLord and Faramir both stated, forced sex or rape is the most highly ranked sexual fantasy among all women ( in several articles I've read)…. vanilla or sub, sexual abusive background or not. It represents a longing for excitement and danger played out in a controlled environment. The same sensations we also crave in rollercoaster’s and other adventurous activities. It’s normal and healthy fantasy.

(in reply to marfre)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/23/2007 12:17:13 AM   
Masque66


Posts: 185
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline 		Well does it count as rape if the concept of 'consent' has not yet come into existence?

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 40
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