Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Rape play fantasies


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Rape play fantasies Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Rape play fantasies - 5/21/2007 8:25:21 PM   
DixieAngel


Posts: 32
Joined: 3/21/2007
Status: offline 		Hello all. I am a bit leary of putting myself out there with this question but it has been a burning question for some time so here goes. To start with a bit of background. I was a victim of rape in my early teens by my best friends brother. It was not a violent rape but scary and horribly painful none the less. My best friend never knew about it nor did anyone else. When I got involved in D/s and became collared by Master, we were exploring what desires and fantasies I wanted to experience. I admitted to him that I fantasized about rape play. I also told him what had happened to me.
My question is why do I fantasize about a play scence like this when it happened to me in real life?  Is this something that anyone else has experienced?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/21/2007 8:38:36 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		It is often the case that painful (physically or emotionally) events from the past are re-enacted in BDSM scenarios.  You will find all kinds of variations of pop psychology of whether this is a good thing or not.

It would be safe to say that the reason why you want to do this is to have a 'safe' variation (no matter how nonconsensual your scene might be set up to be) such that you can have the opportunity to put the past to rest.

It's not for everyone, but rest assured you wouldn't be the first, nor the last.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to DixieAngel)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/21/2007 8:39:06 PM   
ReaderSub


Posts: 13
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		First, I want to say I am am sorry for what happened to you. That should never happen to anyone!

I experienced the same thing. I was "date raped" by a "friend" and never told a soul until my neice was raped. I told her so that she would know that she is not alone.

I also have play rape fantasies and have wondered if this fantasy comes from that experience. I don't know. I don't think I have ever come to terms with my rape because I'm sure he thinks he did nothing wrong...I told no one...no charges were filed, etc. I do not believe that just because we have play rape fantasies means we "enjoyed" our rape. I say go with your fantasy, at least once, and if it is too much, then don't do it again and think about seeking professional help.

Good luck!

(in reply to DixieAngel)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/21/2007 8:42:28 PM   
Indemnis


Posts: 179
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		I have often heard that "bad" things that happen to us earlier in life later become extremely desireable.  I think it's a natural reaction... but you might want to discuss this with your doctor.

_____________________________

No-one respects the flame quite like the fool who's badly burned-- Pete Townshend

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/21/2007 8:43:03 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Did you have rape fantasies before you were raped?  If so, have they changed?

It can be a way to try and regain control of the situation, and to try and understand it.  It's not an altogether bad idea, but if you think in any way that it might get out of control in a bad way, please hold off on it until that can be avoided and seek positive therapy.  Doms aren't therapists.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ReaderSub)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/21/2007 8:43:11 PM   
Kitte9


Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		Perhaps it gives you the power to say 'no' and feel safe in that power.

Just a thought.

_____________________________

I am stronger than yesterday

(in reply to DixieAngel)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/21/2007 8:50:56 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		I was not raped but I was sexualy abused growing up... and I too have this great want to do rape play.. Im still a virgin and far to shy to ever give it up... I feeel this may be a reason and for some reason i feel the only way to break the ice so to speak woulld be to have a rape scene where sex was no longer a choice but a given and have it taken from me as such... in a controlled and loveing environment anyway.. even though its rape play it would still be safe.

Wow I dont think I have ever said that out loud or even admited that to myself befor.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to Kitte9)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/21/2007 8:56:58 PM   
ennaozzie


Posts: 201
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline 		Dixiangel - It is the same with me, I myself went though that (rape), it was something I did not want to happen, but at the time, although I did not cum I did get very wet, and at the time I did not know anything about D/s or BDSM, and after finding I was pregnant from this, then three months later loosing the baby and feeling relieved about it, I beat myself up calling myself one sick puppy and many other worse things feelings of guilt, wholly discussed with myself.
 
I am not one that is into being beaten or bruised, but I do like force, and other things that come with a rape scene.
 
Once I started to meet people in the BDSM and D/s lifestyles it was like such a relief to me, in that it was fairly common or common enough to not be unusual to have those wants to experience some or all of what might happen in a actual rape. 
 
In no way do I want to experience what happened before, as I ended up in hospital, and had to be resuscitated by the person that did this to me.  But I am into pain to a point, force and been made to do things, but I would only consent to experience those things with someone I had got to know well and trusted fully.
 
Do not let yourself screw around with your head like I did those years ago,
We beat ourselves up over all sorts of things through life.
 
If you trust this man work with each other and enjoy, all the best to you.
 
beanie


_____________________________

Never make someone your priority when you are only their option

If coffee hurts your eye's take the spoon out of the mug

(in reply to DixieAngel)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/21/2007 8:59:28 PM   
DixieAngel


Posts: 32
Joined: 3/21/2007
Status: offline 		No I never fantasized about rape before it happened. I was very naive and a virgin at the time 
I am so glad to hear i am not the only one to experience these feelings. Yes I trust Master completely, he is also my husband and the love of my life. He however could not answer my questions. I am happy to find a place to share.

< Message edited by DixieAngel -- 5/21/2007 9:04:23 PM >

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/21/2007 9:11:28 PM   
ennaozzie


Posts: 201
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline 		Its why i love this place say what you want, and there is many that can post replys and give you food for thought,

beanie

_____________________________

Never make someone your priority when you are only their option

If coffee hurts your eye's take the spoon out of the mug

(in reply to DixieAngel)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/21/2007 9:17:36 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline 		Dixie, to the best of my lay understanding, erotizing traumatic sexual experiences from youth is common among girls and boys.  For what it's worth, it's prolly the most common fantasy I encounter--I've heard a reasonably similiar story, and similiar ensuing fantasy, over and over.

You are by no means alone or "weird" in this.

(in reply to ennaozzie)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/21/2007 9:29:20 PM   
Marcus440


Posts: 30
Joined: 11/13/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you, now I can finally understand him. Marcus440

(in reply to Faramir)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/21/2007 9:39:45 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		I have a vague memory of reading a study citing rape as the most common fantascy of women surveyed.  (The study was quick to note that it being a fantascy did not necessarily mean that women want to suffer it- just that it sounded like a turn on at some level.)  I'm afraid I can't cite this article- it was likely in a U.S. News about four or five years ago.  (Yeah, vagueness for the win.)

A lot of sub/"slave"s I've had before have been former rape victims.  In two cases, I even came to know the rapist and understand the tedious social distance preserved between them in years of aftermath.  While many here have assured me that this incidence rate is concidience, I'm unsure if I'm so readily able to disregard hard-won personal experience in such a careless dismissal.
I believe that, at least in some cases, there is a strong connection.

In any case, I would argue there is the possibility for an individual to come to the rape-play scene after suffering a rape.  I would point out that this, though, is a possible course for an individual, and that suffering rape may not be the dominant factor in chosing to enter the rape-play scene in the aftermath.

This goes to answer your second question- if anyone's followed the path you're wondering if you're on.  As for your first question- is this the reason?

One might be able to convince you it is or isn't.  When it comes down to it, unless anone knows and has interviewed you well, I would I postulate that it is likely you are the only one who may be able to come to this answer.  You also may not ever know.

It's safe to advise you to seek theraphy and avoid personal exploration.  This is conventional wisdom- a prejustice answer based off its similarity to other situations in which counterpart actions have been proven to be typically effective and precipitated in social sayings.
I would advise you to consider the claim of proven effect in advised course of action.  I would also advise you to consider the ease and conscience-appeasing nature of dispensing such advise without a deeper consideration.

I would hope you to seek the truth.  However, I would note my concern for truth and understanding would be considered obsessive by most.
If you should continue to seek answers, good luck.

(in reply to DixieAngel)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/21/2007 10:48:01 PM   
Masque66


Posts: 185
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline 		Rape is such a dramatic loss of power, and rape fantasies actually grant you a similar situation but with the power in place.  You can stop a rape fantasy any time you want and can be helpful in allowing you to better deal with it.  However the important thing is that you want the fantasy.  A rape fantasy imposed on you would only be destructive.  Remember, if it becosme too much, use your safeword.  That's what it's there for.

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/21/2007 11:38:20 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		I would like to ask how this connects (not that it's unwelcome, just curious where your thoughts were when writing this for the sake of context).

I would also like to point out this assumes a non-universal population in assumptions.  As I'm not sure how it's being applied, this may or may not be an issue; simply, I would encourage you to consider it may not hold under all circumstances and thusly can not be applied to any random situation.

(in reply to Masque66)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/21/2007 11:54:17 PM   
ennaozzie


Posts: 201
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline 		For those that have not had a higher education can you say what you said in another way and who where you answering? as it says you where answering Masque66 but i dont relate what you said to what he said, sorry its just i like to understand things and it anoys me when i can not, and i have no clue what you said in your post

beanie

< Message edited by ennaozzie -- 5/21/2007 11:58:21 PM >

_____________________________

Never make someone your priority when you are only their option

If coffee hurts your eye's take the spoon out of the mug

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/21/2007 11:55:18 PM   
ennaozzie


Posts: 201
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline 		just so i dont offend i was refering to myself that has not had a higher education i was not picking on anyone

_____________________________

Never make someone your priority when you are only their option

If coffee hurts your eye's take the spoon out of the mug

(in reply to CuriousLord)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/22/2007 1:19:30 AM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		It's all good.  I hope you don't mind if I delay this response until tommorow- kinda sleepy.  I'm glad it's interesting enough to ask about.

Just didn't want to give you the cold shoulder tonight.  Take care.

(in reply to ennaozzie)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/22/2007 2:04:50 AM   
Copulo


Posts: 268
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Did you have rape fantasies before you were raped?  If so, have they changed?

It can be a way to try and regain control of the situation, and to try and understand it.  It's not an altogether bad idea, but if you think in any way that it might get out of control in a bad way, please hold off on it until that can be avoided and seek positive therapy.  Doms aren't therapists.


I can only echo this

This is all part of the healing process and a way of putting an end to a trauma. A therapist will be able to talk at length with you about this and let you understand where your head is at and why you desire to deal with it by re-enactment or forced sex.
Its an incredible responsibility for a dominant to take on especially when he knows your history.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Rape play fantasies - 5/22/2007 2:15:21 AM   
ennaozzie


Posts: 201
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline 		I do it because i like it, i got over what happend years ago. its not a form of therpy to me, its what i like and when the optunity arises i will do it again, its not something i have to have all the time just something i like to do sometimes.

_____________________________

Never make someone your priority when you are only their option

If coffee hurts your eye's take the spoon out of the mug

(in reply to Copulo)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Rape play fantasies Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078