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Resistance play for the willing - 4/24/2007 9:15:36 AM

DominaSmartass

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I'd love to know from people who've done this before (this would be my first experience) how do you and your partner get into the frame of mind for resistance play if you are both perfectly willing? For example, my boyfriend and I have both imagined this amazing, hot scene where I wrestle him to the ground, rip his clothes off, and force myself on him, and we both want to do it, but I can't wrap my head around how to do something like this and make it real, not like some cheesy role playing game, if we're both willing. I don't want him to fake resistance, I want him to actually resist. I want him to really, truly, fight me but know that he'll be defeated. The thing is, he wants it so much that it seems like as soon as I use a little force he'll either give completely in or say something uninspired like "oh, no please don't" just to play along.

We both want it to happen but we both equally want it to be a resistance scene where he really wants to resist and not just a pathetic attempt to play along. It would be a first for both of us and I have no clue how to set the mood or get us in the right frame of mind.

Thanks for any advice!

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Post #: 1

RE: Resistance play for the willing - 4/24/2007 9:18:25 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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I don't make it happen, I just ask when the feeling is there. If it's also there for the other person, we go for it. If not, we do something else.

Maybe doing something competitive like tennis could get your adrenalines flowing and in the mood to exact some payback afterwards?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_584154/mpage_1/key_anger/tm.htm#584247
Primal Zone

http://www.collarchat.com/m_403611/mpage_1/key_primal/tm.htm#403617
Resistance, force, primal, wrestling, play rape, etc?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_336357/mpage_1/key_force%252Cplay/tm.htm#336362
Fighting back

http://www.collarchat.com/m_257243/mpage_1/key_force%252Cplay/tm.htm#257283
Fighting back for fun!

http://www.collarchat.com/m_157286/mpage_1/key_force%252Cplay/tm.htm#157426
Fighting Back

http://www.collarchat.com/m_139472/mpage_1/key_force%252Cplay/tm.htm#139477
A challenging submissive

http://www.collarchat.com/m_110661/mpage_1/key_force%252Cplay/tm.htm#110673
Force

http://www.collarchat.com/m_76392/mpage_1/key_force%2Cplay/tm.htm
The premise of forced play

http://www.collarchat.com/m_214517/mpage_1/key_primal/tm.htm#214524
Releasing the beast within

http://www.collarchat.com/m_153621/mpage_1/key_primal/tm.htm#153823
Rage

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RE: Resistance play for the willing - 4/24/2007 9:41:51 AM

RavenMuse

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Hehehe

"OK girl you want Me to take you, you know I'm going to take you, you know you couldn't stop Me if you tried....try your damndest anyhow little girl! I'm going to enjoy taking you down"

They fight like blazes and then, when You simply overpower them and the inevitability and powerlessness sink in.... they MELT into a happy, subby puddle!

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This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

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Post #: 3

RE: Resistance play for the willing - 4/24/2007 9:49:42 AM

mistoferin

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Try to let it occur naturally. Like one minute you are playfully wrestling over the TV remote and gradually increase the intensity. Most of all....have fun!

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RE: Resistance play for the willing - 4/24/2007 9:49:56 AM

SimplyMichael

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She gets punished (something she likes taken away, a reduction in "fun", not that she is a bad girl) if she doesn't fight hard enough to keep me from forcing her to orgasm. You could do the same concept with any number of things. If you could get a buttplug in her ass, a ball gag secured to her head, or rip all of her clothes off till she is naked.

Having some sort of goal for both of you makes it a bit more real.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 5

RE: Resistance play for the willing - 4/24/2007 9:53:22 AM

RavenMuse

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I've NEVER had to give any more insentive than simple permission to try and fight Me off (as said, they know they won't succeed, that isn't the point, they ENJOY trying). Maybe that comes from that absolute certainty that both of us have that I WILL win? I guess if there was any doubt then they might feel the need not to try quite as hard.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 6

RE: Resistance play for the willing - 4/24/2007 9:54:35 AM

szobras

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Hello DominaSmartass,
As LA, and RavenMuse referred, it is the mindset.Competitive, defensive, offensive. One thing that had worked for me along with the verbal notes during was to draw out a natural defensive reaction. Something as simple as a bit of tickling, light pinching, can get those reactions started.

< Message edited by szobras -- 4/24/2007 9:55:44 AM >

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Post #: 7

RE: Resistance play for the willing - 4/24/2007 9:58:10 AM

MasterFireMaam

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I seem to remember this class we were in involving a take down and rope....

I'm betting if you just DO it, it'll work out ok.

Master Fire

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Post #: 8

RE: Resistance play for the willing - 4/24/2007 10:02:24 AM

MariaB

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I can only speak as a dom/domme couple, though I do love a good wrestle with a sub, especially with t-girls because they are always so busy trying to keep their wig on that Im bound to win!!
My partner sometimes decides that he is going to put me in my place in front of a fem sub. Well that’s not going to happen, is it?
Let the fight begin.

Goes to get a glass of cool water!!

< Message edited by MariaB -- 4/24/2007 10:04:06 AM >

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Post #: 9

RE: Resistance play for the willing - 4/24/2007 10:05:02 AM

sunfleur

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She gets punished (something she likes taken away, a reduction in "fun", not that she is a bad girl) if she doesn't fight hard enough to keep me from forcing her to orgasm. You could do the same concept with any number of things. If you could get a buttplug in her ass, a ball gag secured to her head, or rip all of her clothes off till she is naked.

Having some sort of goal for both of you makes it a bit more real.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm now that does sound fun!

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 10

RE: Resistance play for the willing - 4/24/2007 10:16:56 AM

AAkasha

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While it might not scratch the urge of the full "take down" fantasy, you could get real resistance and struggling from him if you first completely restrain him in a manner that he absolutely cannot get free. Use shackles, straitjacket, spreader bar, or some combination that cannot be compromised. Add in some teasing or pain play, or whatever your fancy is, and he'll start to realize that he is, indeed, helpless.

The thing that has always worked for me in making it feel real, in addition to having a partner that really could read me and behave in a way that didn't distract me (like you mentioned he playfully goes along - cheeky behavior can irritate me if I am trying to be serious), is that I clearly become a slightly different person when I am really getting into it. Not in a bad way; but in a much more unpredictable way. If my partner isn't sure where I am coming from or what I will do next, or what I am capable of, and he clearly sees that I am REALLY getting into it and getting off on the lust, he tends to feel more vulnerable.

Honestly, though, I think this is a lot like hypnotism (or so I have read -- the fact that if someone honestly unwilling, it won't work on them); if a guy, in his heart, is dead set against letting himself get vulnerable in that way, he won't let it go there. Jokes, cockiness, or stoic behavior are defense mechanisms. Try to see if he's really just afraid of letting go, and work from there.

Akasha

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Post #: 11

RE: Resistance play for the willing - 4/24/2007 10:27:03 AM

selfbnd411

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Are you physically capable of manhandling him, or could you train in the martial arts so you could learn how to use leverage? I agree with the posters who have said that you should try and provoke a natural defensive reaction. I'm not saying you should beat him up or anything, but if you're athletic maybe you could come up with some uncomfortable positions and hold him there. For example, I would HATE to be forced to stay on my side with someone on top of me and would probably try to at least get on my back or stomach.

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 12

RE: Resistance play for the willing - 4/24/2007 10:36:19 AM

RavenMuse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

I can only speak as a dom/domme couple, though I do love a good wrestle with a sub, especially with t-girls because they are always so busy trying to keep their wig on that Im bound to win!!
My partner sometimes decides that he is going to put me in my place in front of a fem sub. Well that’s not going to happen, is it?

Well not met the Gentleman in question so can't answer that. I do have a slight advantage with the Judo and years of club bouncing under My belt, even though My back is getting a little worse each year that isn't a problem because *I* am in charge and only enter this kind of play when it is feeling upto it *g* cheating? I set the rules, so I can't be cheating now can I

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to MariaB)

Post #: 13

RE: Resistance play for the willing - 4/24/2007 10:37:35 AM

DominaSmartass

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From: This month? Maryland
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quote:

I seem to remember this class we were in involving a take down and rope....

I'm betting if you just DO it, it'll work out ok.

You remember correctly, however, I was merely an observing party at that particular class (as the one I had wanted to go to originally turned out to be a snoozefest) thus I didn't get any hands on practice (though having the demo bottom at my disposal gives me no excuse....) and also, I don't necessarily want a take-down. I mean, that specific demo didn't leave much room for resistance. It was like wham-bam-on the floor. We'll see what happens. I'll let you all know...next monday.

The tickling advice was also great! Thanks.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 14

RE: Resistance play for the willing - 4/24/2007 10:42:23 AM

DominaSmartass

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From: This month? Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: selfbnd411

Are you physically capable of manhandling him

Yep! :)

quote:

I agree with the posters who have said that you should try and provoke a natural defensive reaction.

Yep to that too!

quote:

I'm not saying you should beat him up or anything,

Wait, why not? I like beating him up, in fact, that's a large part of our weekend ;)

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to selfbnd411)

Post #: 15

RE: Resistance play for the willing - 4/24/2007 11:05:28 AM

selfbnd411

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Haha! Enjoy, then!

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Post #: 16

RE: Resistance play for the willing - 4/24/2007 11:28:46 AM

Celeste43

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From: NYS
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It's something I can't really do either. The truth is that when he starts manhandling me, pinning me down I do melt immediately. If he was to punish me for feeling submissive to him I would probably feel lost, confused and betrayed.

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RE: Resistance play for the willing - 4/24/2007 11:58:55 AM

RavenMuse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

It's something I can't really do either. The truth is that when he starts manhandling me, pinning me down I do melt immediately. If he was to punish me for feeling submissive to him I would probably feel lost, confused and betrayed.

A couple of the girls I played with where the same, Once I pinned them, instant melt.... so I toyed with them before going for the pin. Picking then up bodily and tossing them onto the bed, catching them as they tried to get off and past Me, throwing them back... pininning just an arm, or a leg, letting them struggle to free it... before pinning them fully and simply taking what I want .... and of course what they want along with that helpless/taken/totaly overpowered and surrendered feeling :)

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 18

RE: Resistance play for the willing - 4/24/2007 12:08:43 PM

DragonandPhoenix

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With me, I have a submissive side that loves to surrender, but I also have a mean side that loves to fight and fight hard. Dragon can usually tell when I'm in "that mood" if I start to resist or struggle a little bit during harder during some playful wrestling. Sometimes he will do things to goad me on - things he know push my "fight" buttons. He'll tickle me, hold me down and spit in my face, slap my face, cover my mouth and nose, laugh at my efforts to defend myself, or say things like "c'mon you little bitch, fight!". I always lose, but I get to a certain point where the adrenaline is flowing, the animal insticts take over and I am literally fighting as hard as I can, no holds barred - fighting dirty! He has to have quick reflexes because I'll sink my teeth in and hold onto his flesh for dear life, I'll scratch as hard as I can, pull his hair, kick, punch, scream and even try to kick him in the nuts (never gotten away with it though, which is probably a good thing).

Being a Domme trying to take down a man presents a challenge, as you probably do not have the strength advantage. I'd suggest either learning some wrestling or martial arts moves designed to HURT him if he struggles. Other options are using some kind of restraining device first, like handcuffs, and then trying to immobilize him one limb at a time with rope. If you are into it, you could use a knife or fake gun to force him into compliance. Cutting away clothes with scissors can also be great fun.

If all else fails, I find the "psychological" rape can be just as much of a rush. Camp counsellor, bad babysitter, school nurse, evil schoolmistress, perverted aunty... all kinds of inappropraite scenarios where authority can be deliciously abused, where you sweet talk him malevolently in his ear, convincing him that what you are doing is only for his own good and will feel sooooooo wonderful to his virginal young body...

Mmmmmm. I'm a bad girl sometimes.

Phoenix

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 19

RE: Resistance play for the willing - 4/24/2007 12:25:00 PM

DominaSmartass

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From: This month? Maryland
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If someone is like that, basically an "instant melt" upon being manhandled, does it mean there is no chance of doing resistance play? Or does it mean we have to re-think what the goal of the play is? I find the idea of doing something completely because I want to against his will very hot but the thing is that it would basically be impossible for me to do something he doesn't want cause he wants everything, lol. He's not very feisty but maybe the right mood and stimulus would help provoke him.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 20

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