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Difference between M/S and D/s - 4/19/2007 11:50:13 AM

OfHonestValue

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So I read this article that stated that a masochist is not a sub/slave. So is there a difference between having a S/M and a D/s and M/s relationship? Do the relationships intretwine with each other?

< Message edited by OfHonestValue -- 4/19/2007 12:28:19 PM >

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RE: Difference between M/S and D/s - 4/19/2007 11:52:24 AM

MadRabbit

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I think you are confusing Sadist/Masochist with Master/Slave.

M/S = Master/Slave
D/S = Dominance/Submission.
S/M = Sadist/Mashochist.

Maschosism has to do with the enjoyment of pain and a sub/slave has to do with authority.

As far as the differences between M/S and D/S, I use the Big Clown/little clown dynamic so I will leave the question to people smarter than me.

(Copyrighted as the B/L dynamic by MadRabbit)

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 4/19/2007 11:53:54 AM >

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RE: Difference between M/S and D/s - 4/19/2007 11:53:56 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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There is no necessary connection between sadist, submissive, masochist, dominant. A person can be any combination of any of those.

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(in reply to OfHonestValue)

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RE: Difference between M/S and D/s - 4/19/2007 11:55:31 AM

HarleyKitty69

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well I am a unowned masocist Sub...
I think it's more like each to their own liking......
I am sure that there Subs/Slaves out there who don't like pain at all and that there are Masochist out there who love pain but don't like the thought of being a Sub/Slave..........
It takes all kinds, and I think the variety of it makes this lifestyle so interesting....
well thats my 2 sense anyway

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RE: Difference between M/S and D/s - 4/19/2007 11:56:08 AM

Celeste43

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There are dominants who enjoy pain. There are submissives who do not. Your reactions to extreme sensations have nothing to do with giving or taking control.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: Difference between M/S and D/s - 4/19/2007 12:04:07 PM

MasterFireMaam

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Is M/S masochist/sadist (usually seens as SM) or is it Master/slave (usually seen as Ms)?

For the former: what we DO does not necessarily define who we ARE.

For the latter: there is a school of thought that says and Ms relationship is spiritual and a Ds relationship is mental. Of course, you'll get as many opinions about this as you ask people.

Master Fire

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RE: Difference between M/S and D/s - 4/19/2007 12:26:38 PM

PrincessEllie

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The way I translate it is this...
D/s - Not 24/7 and the sub can change the contract and decide not to do things

M/s - 24/7 live in relationship and the slave cannot decide not to do things [ie, no safewords]

_____________________________

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May break my bones
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RE: Difference between M/S and D/s - 4/19/2007 12:27:53 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessEllie
The way I translate it is this...
D/s - Not 24/7 and the sub can change the contract and decide not to do things

Except that many people in Ds relationships live together, are married, have children and engage in the authority transfer 24/7

quote:

M/s - 24/7 live in relationship and the slave cannot decide not to do things [ie, no safewords]

Except that many people in Ms relationships do not live together, and the slave is given delegatory authority to decide several things.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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(in reply to PrincessEllie)

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RE: Difference between M/S and D/s - 4/19/2007 12:30:16 PM

PrincessEllie

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I didn't say I was right! It's just the way I've seen it done in the past and the way I've seen the terms translated.

So, Mrs. Smartypants, how do you differentiate between the two?

< Message edited by PrincessEllie -- 4/19/2007 12:31:19 PM >

_____________________________

Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But whips and chains excite me
So tie me up
Or hold me down
And bite me baby, bite me!

http://www.cafepress.com/scenedayware
--Discreet BDSM day clothes--

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 9

RE: Difference between M/S and D/s - 4/19/2007 12:35:25 PM

TigressFL

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This is a re-posting from another thread that I placed this in.....

In my opinion:

1. A bottom is someone that is in it for the BDSM "play" and it has ZERO to do with domination and submission in any form. There is no submission, there is no serving, there is no surrender. It is about the kink, period.

2. A submissive submits to negotiated and agreed upon areas only and retains all rights, limits and safewords as they so desire and negotiate. A sumbissive is not goign to allow someone to have total control over how they behave at all times, every decision that the owner may want to make for them which could be very extensive. They expect to be treated at a more "equal" level in at least a few aspects in the relationship. Many view slavery as being a doormat becase they cannot relate to or wrap their head around giving anyone that much control.

3. A slave enters into the relationship agreeing to surrender their right to "make decisions" in the relationship, their limits become whatever their owners limits are (or whatever their owner "allows") and and they are literally viewed as "human property".

Above is how I view the differences. That fact is that there will be many people that agree with me and many people that will get pissed off at my point of view lol There will also be many people that assume I am making a judgement call and actually saying that one is greater than the other (I am soo sick of that BS whiney debate lol) which is not even remotely close to true! I simply view each one very "differently". In addition, many people make assumptions as to how each one are treated. Many assume submissive are actually treated better than slave which is by far the truth. I know situations where the submissives where treated worse than any slave I have ever encountered and I know siutations where the slave was treated rather poorly as well. The distinction between what each role is has ZERO to do with "how they are treated" by their owner.

Rarely do people see eye to eye on this topic lol

To each their own,

Tigress~FL

(in reply to OfHonestValue)

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RE: Difference between M/S and D/s - 4/19/2007 12:35:32 PM

OfHonestValue

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Joined: 4/19/2007
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quote:

[Except that many people in Ms relationships do not live together, and the slave is given delegatory authority to decide several things.
te]

Its interesting that you say that as I never knew that was the case. I am a sub and do not live my Dom at the moment.

quote:

[Except that many people in Ds relationships live together, are married, have children and engage in the authority transfer 24/7
/quote]

What do you mean by transfer power 24/7? Also it it not common for Masters and slaves to get married and have kids or is this unheard of. What about a D/s relationship or M/s relationship were the top is also a bf or gf or what not.

(cant quite get the quote thing figured out)

< Message edited by OfHonestValue -- 4/19/2007 12:39:35 PM >

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Submission is a gift that can not be demanded.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: Difference between M/S and D/s - 4/19/2007 12:35:53 PM

BOUNTYHUNTER

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There are often s/m within a M/s relationship, thats what happens here, it doesn't necessarily have to be so.There are so many putting their spin on it theses days,none of the above mention has to be in a 24-7 relationship...Just the views of this ol" master

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RE: Difference between M/S and D/s - 4/19/2007 12:36:27 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessEllie
I didn't say I was right! It's just the way I've seen it done in the past and the way I've seen the terms translated.

I know, the problem with any definition is that I can always through up some exceptions.

quote:

So, Mrs. Smartypants, how do you differentiate between the two?

slave= someone oriented to be fulfilled in a personal intimate relationship dynamic based on the transfer of all ultimate authority to the other who accepts and is responsible for it

submissive = someone oriented to be fulfilled in a personal intimate relationship dynamic based on the transfer of day to day authority to the other person who accepts and is responsible for it

And remember- a person can be BOTH a slave and a submissive :)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to PrincessEllie)

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RE: Difference between M/S and D/s - 4/19/2007 12:36:47 PM

BondageTopJere

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The line between D/s and M/s is such an obscure one as to essentially render it pointless. Ever heard of the heisenberg uncertainy principle? Theory goes tht in the obersavation of infinitely small objects, the very act of observing changes that which you are trying to observe.

Is there a line? Yes, but for every single person the definition is different. For me, M/s is simply the next level of a D/s relationship, as you cannot have an M/s relationship without D/s, but you can have a D/s relationship without being M/s.

To the OP, yes you can be either or both a sadist and masochist, regardless of being a dominant or submissive. However, it is USUALLY the sub who is the masochist and the Dominant the sadist, which is where it gets confusing when starting to explore all this. And that before you even toss in the whole Top/Bottom dynamic as well.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 14

RE: Difference between M/S and D/s - 4/19/2007 12:38:45 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OfHonestValue
Its interesting that you say that as I never knew that was the case. I am a sub and do not live my Dom at the moment.

Cool deal.

quote:

Except that many people in Ds relationships live together, are married, have children and engage in the authority transfer 24/7

What do you mean by transfer power 24/7? Also it it not common for Masters and slaves to get married and have kids or is this unheard of. What about a D/s relationship or M/s relationship were the top is also a bf or gf or what not.

Authority transfer- meaning the other person is the "ultimate decision maker" on things day to day.

It's not terribly common, but it's not terribly uncommon either.

Whether your relationship encapulsates elements of friendship/lovers/boyfriend/girlfriend depends on your own preferences. Some do, some don't.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to OfHonestValue)

Post #: 15

RE: Difference between M/S and D/s - 4/19/2007 12:42:51 PM

PrincessEllie

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I think I'm just going to go with M/s being the next level of D/s.
Even if no one knows what that level is. :3
And you can be both. Or half. Or any combination of them.
Essentially, it's whatever you feel like on that day 'cause we're never going to decide on an exact definition.

_____________________________

Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But whips and chains excite me
So tie me up
Or hold me down
And bite me baby, bite me!

http://www.cafepress.com/scenedayware
--Discreet BDSM day clothes--

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 16

RE: Difference between M/S and D/s - 4/19/2007 12:46:41 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessEllie
I think I'm just going to go with M/s being the next level of D/s.
Even if no one knows what that level is. :3
And you can be both. Or half. Or any combination of them.
Essentially, it's whatever you feel like on that day 'cause we're never going to decide on an exact definition.

The problem with "next level" is that it sounds like you put Ms above Ds in heirarchy.

But you're getting the point and that's what matters :)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to PrincessEllie)

Post #: 17

RE: Difference between M/S and D/s - 4/19/2007 12:47:13 PM

OfHonestValue

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So M/s; D/s; S/M you be a combination of one or all of these is what it osunds like most ppl agree about. The different names appear to be jst labels and not of much importance, there jst a way of identifying yourself to others and to tell what your role in all of this is.

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Submission is a gift that can not be demanded.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: Difference between M/S and D/s - 4/19/2007 1:41:43 PM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessEllie
I didn't say I was right! It's just the way I've seen it done in the past and the way I've seen the terms translated.

I know, the problem with any definition is that I can always through up some exceptions.

quote:

So, Mrs. Smartypants, how do you differentiate between the two?

slave= someone oriented to be fulfilled in a personal intimate relationship dynamic based on the transfer of all ultimate authority to the other who accepts and is responsible for it

submissive = someone oriented to be fulfilled in a personal intimate relationship dynamic based on the transfer of day to day authority to the other person who accepts and is responsible for it

And remember- a person can be BOTH a slave and a submissive :)

A person can chose to be a slave an not be submissive, too.

Fox is not terribly submissive the majority of the time.

Of course he defines himself as a switch who can be submissive to me and is my slave all the time, 24/7 for almost 7 years now.

I think I actually get far more of a power rush when such a person kneels to me than if somene who was submissive all the time knelt to me. I suspect I am utterly spoiled now for someone who is natural submissive all the time.

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: Difference between M/S and D/s - 4/19/2007 3:54:38 PM

Archer

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Personally I draw the line at when the person considers themselves OWNED or is seeking to be in the immediate future.

Ownership is the dividing line.
Submit without being owned submissive
Submit with being owned slave.

One can claim all day long that they are owned but not a slave but the meaning of the word owned contradicts their definition.

Feel free to disagree as I feel free to think you fail to grasp English, LOL.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 20

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