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slaves with penis envy [of sorts] - 4/11/2007 1:17:39 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
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ok, well this is mostly how do i deal with jealousy? i dont encounter it often, and i dont really know how to deal with it.

i am in the green industry by trade [lamens: outside & dirty] and i have my nice, dinky, 1989 ford ranger.

my D, is a Sr. software engineer and has His nice, posh, oldsmobile alero .....

or so i thought.

it dies, and He is now car shopping. He has pretty much decided on a 2006 chevy silverado extended cab with suicide doors.

[rip]

that was my heart ripping.

i am soo jealous. i dont know what to do. i am almost even offended [since He sold His motorcycle - He cant even name a reason for buying a full size PU] granted its the cheapest "car" lease out there, but i [grrrrr] cant even stand myself for being so envious and resentful [mostly b/c i feel He doesnt deserve it OR have a use for it]. He knows how i feel, but i dont know how to get over it.

so, how do you deal with jealousy geared towards your D or /s. i know i am only human, but i feel so out of place with this & its effects on me [jealousy].

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Post #: 1

RE: slaves with penis envy [of sorts] - 4/11/2007 1:22:06 PM

PONYSEEKER

Posts: 364
Joined: 9/11/2006
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Did you ask him where yours was?

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 2

RE: slaves with penis envy [of sorts] - 4/11/2007 1:22:22 PM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

Well, he worked for it so I would say he does deserve it and so what if he has no use for it? But, you've probably, at least intellectually, figured all that out for yourself already. The only thing I can think of is to think positive thoughts and reconcile that he does deserve good things and is entitled to do or buy whatever he so chooses.

Maybe focus instead on what you can do to attain some of the things you want in life and not concentrate so much on what the Jones's have, even if the Jones is your own Dom

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~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 3

RE: slaves with penis envy [of sorts] - 4/11/2007 1:23:13 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PONYSEEKER

Did you ask him where yours was?

jealous does not = stupid

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"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"

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Post #: 4

RE: slaves with penis envy [of sorts] - 4/11/2007 1:24:34 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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Be happy that you get to be chauffered in such a nice piece of car?

Laugh at yourself?

Work with your master on a long term plan to get the car you want?

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(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 5

RE: slaves with penis envy [of sorts] - 4/11/2007 1:25:09 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

Maybe focus instead on what you can do to attain some of the things you want in life and not concentrate so much on what the Jones's have, even if the Jones is your own Dom

good idea. yes i do have a plan for getting my own nice [semi] new truck by the end of the season. i know, technically, of course He does deserve it [i even blushed a little when i read ur reply, like "gosh, i am such a self centered ass"] but its still hard, of course. i will try and focus on the positives & be happy for Him.

_____________________________

"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"

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Post #: 6

RE: slaves with penis envy [of sorts] - 4/11/2007 1:26:24 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Laugh at yourself?

i should be!

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"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"

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Post #: 7

RE: slaves with penis envy [of sorts] - 4/11/2007 1:26:39 PM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

mixie, i'm not understanding why you would be jealous? after all, this is just a material item, a thing...not to mention that you are a slave, and should in theory possess nothing..why would you want or even feel deserving of something your Owner has?

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 8

RE: slaves with penis envy [of sorts] - 4/11/2007 1:27:38 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

Wow, I so misunderstood this post. I guess I'm so used to being in the submissive mode towards women, that I immediately assumed he was YOUR submissive, and then I was just confused. Okay, makes a lot more sense now. Not sure what to say other than I personally don't believe a car can compete with any sincere emotional partner. If it can, then that's probably a sign of something completely different, and I doubt that's actually the case.

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(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 9

RE: slaves with penis envy [of sorts] - 4/11/2007 1:31:24 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

mixie, i'm not understanding why you would be jealous? after all, this is just a material item, a thing...not to mention that you are a slave, and should in theory possess nothing..why would you want or even feel deserving of something your Owner has?

aah, hardcore slave insight, knock me back to reality!

it is a very material item, sometimes i forget the most simple things.... my truck, it is still my truck - as a posession i acquired before i was collared [and the pretenses it was given under: from my dad for my job, and as a congrats for the 'A' on my internship a few years back].

its not that i want what He has - well i do what the PU - but not HIS pickup, not this particular pick up. the problem - the jealousy/resentment/frustration is that i feel [besides the fact He worked for it] what the hell does HE need it for? its needless, extravagant, useless.

< Message edited by mixielicous -- 4/11/2007 1:32:28 PM >

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"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"

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Post #: 10

RE: slaves with penis envy [of sorts] - 4/11/2007 1:37:25 PM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

You don't have a pair of shoes, an item in your home...anything that is needless, extravagant, useless? Maybe just realize that he does not need it. He wants it. Good for him.

While I do work hard and I work first to take care of my responsibilities I would hate to have to work all day to JUST get the necessities. It's the bonus items that make working so hard really gratifying.

Also, the wants in life can help. You may think the truck is useless but maybe it's not. Maybe it makes him feel better. That seems like a pretty useful item to me ;)

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 11

RE: slaves with penis envy [of sorts] - 4/11/2007 1:37:35 PM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

what does it matter if he does not need it? obviously it was something he wanted, so he got it. as his slave that should be enough for you. i can understand being an outsider looking in and wondering what the heck a soccer mom or IT professional needs with a gas-guzzling, earth-killing H2, but this man is your Master, the one who owns you. it is not your place to question his motives or his purchases, and certainly not your place to feel entitled to anything he has.

also, i understand different M/s unions function differently, but you mentioned your truck still being "your" truck, as it was a gift you acquired before becoming owned. everything i possessed before becoming owned instantly became the property of my Master when i became his slave. i no longer view anything as "mine" in the property sense. instead, there are certain things of his that he allows me to use, with permission. perhaps this new truck of your Master's could be something you could use from time to time, with his permission, if that would make you feel better?

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 12

RE: slaves with penis envy [of sorts] - 4/11/2007 1:53:05 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

You don't have a pair of shoes, an item in your home...anything that is needless, extravagant, useless? Maybe just realize that he does not need it. He wants it. Good for him.

While I do work hard and I work first to take care of my responsibilities I would hate to have to work all day to JUST get the necessities. It's the bonus items that make working so hard really gratifying.

Also, the wants in life can help. You may think the truck is useless but maybe it's not. Maybe it makes him feel better. That seems like a pretty useful item to me ;)

i grew up really, really, really poor [right now i am wearing these pants i bought in 1999] and continued to be poor until "recently" [i put in quotes b/c i am still with literally no extra money but am provided pleasures for by D] i just bought my first pair of "needless" shoes.. maybe affluence is just something i am a bit uncomfortable with still & need to get used to the "just because" theory.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

what does it matter if he does not need it? obviously it was something he wanted, so he got it. as his slave that should be enough for you. i can understand being an outsider looking in and wondering what the heck a soccer mom or IT professional needs with a gas-guzzling, earth-killing H2, but this man is your Master, the one who owns you. it is not your place to question his motives or his purchases, and certainly not your place to feel entitled to anything he has.

also, i understand different M/s unions function differently, but you mentioned your truck still being "your" truck, as it was a gift you acquired before becoming owned. everything i possessed before becoming owned instantly became the property of my Master when i became his slave. i no longer view anything as "mine" in the property sense. instead, there are certain things of his that he allows me to use, with permission. perhaps this new truck of your Master's could be something you could use from time to time, with his permission, if that would make you feel better?

yes, i am aware it is common for many slaves to give their possessions as well as their self. LOL, i am trying to picture His face as i give Him my other set of keys [already has His own] and He would say, "what the hell do i want with that rink-a-dink piece of shit for? derby?" LOL - but we dont have the time right now for the most intense of dynamics of those sorts. granted, i would like to think if He were to take it i could gladly hand it over ... maybe ;) ... i am lucky [sort of] to be a very independent slave, which is the way He likes it [which is what matters] if He had to control everything here [permission reference], then go to work and control everything there, He might not have much gusto left for anything else. there is nothing that is yours? underwear? does He buy it? you buy it and it becomes His? mine is not interested in micro-mgt of that sort, although He does get all of my pay.

_____________________________

"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"

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Post #: 13

RE: slaves with penis envy [of sorts] - 4/11/2007 1:57:57 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

A lot of people who grow up poor tend to have money/possession issues when they grow up. Give it time, let yourself laugh and relax. The more secure you feel, the more you plan, the less of an issue it will be.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 14

RE: slaves with penis envy [of sorts] - 4/11/2007 2:02:57 PM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

I went through an almost exact situation with my ex-husband...although, there were family politics involved. At any rate, once the new car smell was gone the envy was over. I think it was the new car smell that really did me in.

Try to focus on something else, anything else. Don't let a possession drive a wedge between you.

< Message edited by spanklette -- 4/11/2007 2:03:15 PM >

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(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 15

RE: slaves with penis envy [of sorts] - 4/11/2007 2:06:49 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
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From: NYS
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Channel the jealousy into a plan to be able to acquire luxuries yourself. Go to the library and find books on savings, learn how to make a nest egg. Discuss with HR what you need to do in order to get promoted to a higher level. Sometimes they may have a policy that you need to be working towards your master's to be a certain level, if so you could start taking one night course a semester.

But people who grow up with zero indulgences will have trouble later on. You're dealing with envy now. If you start making extra money will you be able to handle it or will you spend every dollar on useless items? You have a great reason to start dealing with the situation now. Use this energy to get ahead of the game.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 16

RE: slaves with penis envy [of sorts] - 4/11/2007 2:07:19 PM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
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Heya Mixie - i'm having a bit of a hard time feeling you on this one. But if it makes you feel any better, Master is out shopping for a boat. Granted i think its abit extravagant... but jealous? Nah - i just hope i get to ride on it. Maybe catch some fish....... and if at all possible i would LOVE to go waterskiing again. Been ages. Although he test drove a lexus yesterday (thinking about a new car instead of a boat) and my only thought was "thats a yuppie car" That and baby spit up goes really well with leather seats.

hmmm.. yeah i get the extravegant part... but not the jealousy. Who needs that stuff anyways? Yeah, it'd be nice to have.. but who needs it? Who needs stuff? As you have what you need, its functional, and up to a level of standard, thats all that should matter.

i think what might help, is re evaulating your desire for material possessions. When you die, none of its going to matter anyways. Cant take any of this crap with ya. When you're 90 years old you arent going to be thinking "ooooh yeah.. i had xy and z" None of it enhances life either. Sure instant gratification... but when you're 90 - its going to be about your LIFE not about what you HAD. 20 years down the road.. will it really matter what kind of car he has and you have? What will matter more... a good relationship that left you fullfilled and happy... or a new truck/car? Try thinking long term.. not short term......If that doesnt help, i'm not sure what will........................ but good luck to ya = )

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Post #: 17

RE: slaves with penis envy [of sorts] - 4/11/2007 2:13:58 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

fast reply,

a friend who knows me personally says to me:

"you should let him know that he's penis is large enough to not have a little man syndrom truck, which is what most people would assume it to be with a desk job and no carpentry hobbies

it really seems like an odd purchase, its' kinda funny

you shouldn't be jealous mixie, you should be amused"

_____________________________

"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"

(in reply to Devilslilsister)

Post #: 18

RE: slaves with penis envy [of sorts] - 4/11/2007 2:18:05 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

Channel the jealousy into a plan to be able to acquire luxuries yourself. Go to the library and find books on savings, learn how to make a nest egg. Discuss with HR what you need to do in order to get promoted to a higher level. Sometimes they may have a policy that you need to be working towards your master's to be a certain level, if so you could start taking one night course a semester.

But people who grow up with zero indulgences will have trouble later on. You're dealing with envy now. If you start making extra money will you be able to handle it or will you spend every dollar on useless items? You have a great reason to start dealing with the situation now. Use this energy to get ahead of the game.

this is something important to think about. thank you so much for shedding this light. never even crossed my mind. wasnt even aware it was a common phenomenon!

_____________________________

"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 19

RE: slaves with penis envy [of sorts] - 4/11/2007 2:40:55 PM

ArtificerOfKink

Posts: 63
Joined: 3/23/2007
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline

Would you feel better if He coudn't afford those things and was in a similar position as you are now?

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Post #: 20

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