RE: Saying "I hate you!", Name calling, and Fighting

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Saying "I hate you!", Name calling, and Fighting

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Saying "I hate you!", Name calling, and Fighting

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Saying "I hate you!", Name calling, and F... - 4/11/2007 8:42:16 AM

MasterGremlin

Posts: 230
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Passion357

Greetings, All,

Saying "I hate you!", Name calling, and Fighting, among Master and slaves.

I think it's good to get these feelings OUT.
So if anyone anywhere from any side of the Umbrella that is BDSM would like to share experiences of telling their Master or slave "I hate you...", name calling, screaming, and out right fighting, NO MATTER what it was/is about, please feel free.

I, for one, do not intend to judge or call you out. This is more of a support/rant/let it out thing.
However---If anyone starts flaming, bashing, etc I will request of the Mods this thread be closed and I will stop posting on it. Period.

If you have ever told your Master "I hate you"...why? What was the history? Did you feel justified or wrong? Was the issue resolved?

Have you ever told your slave "Get out"...? Why? What went wrong? Did you feel justified or wrong? Was the issue resolved?

I know Master and I went through a period ( year ) where I was close to leaving him because things were so wrong, I was so sick, (flu-strep throat- tonsilitis) and he was just wasting away working all the time.
During this time I cried way too much, especially since I am not a crier. I got so depressed...well..I'm still recovering!
But, so is he.
We found interesting ways to defuse our fights...and just the other day heard on the radio a broadcast about them.

Suddenly it's healthy for a Husband and Wife ( or let's say Master and Slave) to have seperate rooms, sleep in seperate beds, etc etc etc ...

They even went as far as LIVING in seperate residences.

Master and I seperated our house about 8 months ago. I have my own room, bathroom, den, half of the office. He has his own bedroom, bathroom, den, half of the office.
We split the kitchen, dining room became workshop ( for leathercrafts, my candle making, foosball <sp?> table etc) and obviously split the office.
We have a formal living room and dining room, and a seperate den, that is how the split was so easy.

So you know those times when you want to knock the stars out of him/her???...but you should walk away and BREATHE???

Well...GO To YOUR ROOM!

Thank you, E, this is going to be healthy I think.

Well Wishes,
~Passion~

There was a time in O/our marriage a few years ago that things went south and W/we said the "D" word. He moved to another part of the house and I took myself back for a short while. Fights were many, hurtful things were said. It was very unpleasant. But I don't think either of U/us have ever said "I hate you" in a situation like that. W/we said "F U!" alot though. W/we both agree that there are times W/we dont' like each other a whole lot, and that is normal. Talking was really the key in keeping things together.

Now, on the other hand, W/we do alot of mock or play fighting. Master is a button pusher and lets face it, I am one big red shiney button

So, for example, I am 5'1" tall, and one day long ago I found a single hair on my big toe and was aghast and plucked it instantly....well, according to Master, I am a Hobbit with hairy toes

and He never misses a chance to push that button to get my reaction. Occasionally, my reaction is to tell Him I hate Him, or call Him an asshole or something similar, but it is all part of the "game" so to speak. It isn't something serious.

W/we also use this play/mock tactic with things before they become issues. W/we work on them early on and that way things don't build up and explode into nastiness later. W/we also don't get offended easily as neither one of us is very "politically correct" . It just happens to be the way things worked out for U/us and it works well for U/us.
Cordially,
minxy

(in reply to Passion357)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: Saying "I hate you!", Name calling, and F... - 4/11/2007 10:21:30 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Passion357

Greetings, All,

Saying "I hate you!", Name calling, and Fighting, among Master and slaves.

I don't tolerate this to go on in my M/s dynamic. The first time it's done she can bet that she'll be out on her ass. Same holds for splitting the house. She'll be out the door before I split up my home. If there is no peace with her around there sure as hell would be with her gone. Granted, my slave does sleep in another room, it's not because she's being a bitch and acting out for attention.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to Passion357)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: Saying "I hate you!", Name calling, and F... - 4/11/2007 10:26:42 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

I say I hate M on a pretty regular basis. In fact, he's the only person I ever say it to. It's just a word. It depends on what's invested in it.

We don't fight, we don't name call, we don't have screaming matches.

agirl

< Message edited by agirl -- 4/11/2007 10:28:45 AM >

(in reply to Passion357)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: Saying "I hate you!", Name calling, and F... - 4/11/2007 3:25:54 PM

minxDrkHorse

Posts: 2
Joined: 3/16/2007
Status: offline

In the beginning of my M/s relationship, yes i have told my Master that i hated Him and at the time that was the emotion that i was feeling. Even as the words were coming out of my mouth i knew that i was in the wrong but i did not stop because i felt vindicated to speak to Him as i did because of something that He and i both knew was wrong. my hate at the time was directed more at His actions more than at Him as the Master.

We have been together now for almost two years but it is not 24/7 because it is an LDR. We have spent weeks and sometimes months together, i sometimes become frustrated with this arrangement because it seems that sometimes this is ALWAYS what our relationship will be, an LDR. However, i know that working towards a 24/7 arrangement takes time. Since the name calling incidents, i have learned to be more patient and to communicate my disappointment more effectively.

peace and respect,
minxDrkHorse

(in reply to Passion357)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: Saying "I hate you!", Name calling, and F... - 4/11/2007 3:41:50 PM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

Hello Passion,

My take on these type of behaviors is that some people need
to express their emotions this way and some relationships
thrive on this type of dynamic. Certain types of temperments
will create conflict where none exists because they are
most happy fighting.

I am not one of them. Fighting and screaming signal a serious
problem, if not the coming end of a relationship for me.
My long term relationships are characterized by harmony,
not conflict.

The separate rooms and having time to oneself is very beneficial.
So when a conversation starts to get nasty, you can go cool down.

Now, people react differently in times of high stress and illneses.
Some want a should to cry on, some vent their anger and others
want time to process their feelings alone. I ask my partners what
is the best approach for them and respect that. Works great
for all of us.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Passion357)

Profile

Post #: 45