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RE: First meeting procedures - 4/5/2007 10:18:17 AM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline 		The ability to hear me is actually pretty essential to how I choose with whom I associate.  So his way would not ahve worked for me.  His sreponse would not have owrked for me.  And that's the glory of the weeding process.  It seems he thought you should be unhappy that he was passing on you.  Funny guy.

the way to my cunt is through my head.  So some time needs to be spent making the connection, getting into my head.  So it's dinner or pass for me.  And I am so very fine with those who choose to pass.  I am really not compatible with 99.9% of the world and I'm good with that.


_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to oceangem)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: First meeting procedures - 4/5/2007 10:19:40 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline
quote:

Nobody has ever been disappointed by it


you: hmmm...really....how many are we talking here?

lameduckdom: oh about 7...(any number)

you: 7 wow that is a lot.....you must be awfully special to have had 7 women to trust you so much....did you trust them too?

lameduckdom: oh yes they were wonderful

you: if you trusted them and they were never disappointed i am guessing many of them returned for seconds

lameduckdom: yes all of them

you when you dommed them did they always obey you?

lameduckdom: always.

you  well i am so very impressed...tell me do you casually discard these folks or do you remain friends with them after?

lameduckdom: i am friends with them all...

you: good friends?

lameduckdom: yes very good friends:

you: all seven?

lameduckdom: yes all seven....

you: none of them ever disappointed?

lameduckdom: no none

you: well then i dont see why, seeing that they trust you, and obey you, and since they were never disappointed by your procedure, that you would not be able to provide contact information for each one....unless this was a lie of course but i am sure that it is not...ill call you in 15 mins, get their numbers., call one or two and if your story checks out....we can go from there...

you: hello?...hello?....

< Message edited by crouchingtigress -- 4/5/2007 10:25:41 AM >

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to oceangem)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: First meeting procedures - 4/5/2007 10:56:45 AM   
Laura


Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		Anyone can tell you they are a Dominant. That doesn't make it true. Subs need to use common sense about first meetings. So do Doms. As a female Dom I do not meet male subs or any other guys at their place. I pick a coffee shop or let them pick it. After talking I go home, alone. That is a big rule for me. Never go anywhere with him after the first meeting. Take that time to think about over night. Sometimes I am less careful in the moment than I am if I get away for a bit and have some perspective.

I have had men suggest I am too careful. That is a flashing neon sign to me. A guy should respect that a woman wants to be careful. If they do not, why are you meeting a dork like that? He won't suddenly respect you more the next day, week, etc.

Also, I have had men say I'm not really a Dominant cause I'm not domming them right away. Why should I? I came to meet a person and I am there as a person. If I just wanted a submissive I could get a goldfish. I want more. I meet people as myself, the Dom is an aspect of myself not everything or the only thing I am.

Anyway, be careful, whether you are Dom or sub. Don't ever meet someone who does not respect and support your precautions. Don't meet someone who expects you to be bound before you have ever met to discuss rules and limits. That is crazy.

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to Viridana)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: First meeting procedures - 4/5/2007 10:58:44 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		lol, what respect is necessary and sufficient?

Me


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Laura)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: First meeting procedures - 4/5/2007 11:02:14 AM   
justinedoll


Posts: 50
Joined: 8/10/2006
From: uk, poland, germany
Status: offline 		In my opinion, and according to my experience, coffe or drink in neutral place is very important for first meeting. In real life we can realise if we realy want to do anything with person we meet.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: First meeting procedures - 4/5/2007 12:06:55 PM   
oceangem


Posts: 360
Joined: 2/9/2004
From: Mission, BC. Canada
Status: offline 		Thank you Aall for the replies, i agree with all said. The conversation did give me warning and lots of it, as i attend the events held in and around Vancouver i am not hestitant to go out and meet with others.

To answer some of the replies

it was not a long time in speaking with him and i have a very good feeling about my safety that is why i did not choose to go forward with this.

The thought had crossed my mind what if  the game was still on and it now became a different game of "poker"

i am not something that is given second thought as a replacement for what was not confirmed early in the day, i am not at anyones beck n call to show up at a given time.

If i am not deserving of a date and time when its convienent for both, we are both wasting each others time in getting to know one another.

i myself am one of those "oddities" as well for i too have played on the first meeting but it was getting to know that person in time and we did meet at first in public place over drinks or dinner. Not just getting a address of his home and showing up.

Thanks Aall again for the input *s*


_____________________________

she gives a smile when the pain comes... the pain is gonna make everything alright.


(in reply to justinedoll)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: First meeting procedures - 4/5/2007 12:42:33 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		glad we helped

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to oceangem)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: First meeting procedures - 4/5/2007 1:08:39 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I hope part of Sir's procedure included being burped, because he sounds rather full of himself.



_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: First meeting procedures - 4/5/2007 3:50:43 PM   
MasterHyde


Posts: 127
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		I cannot begin to count how many red flags I see here. Everything about this guy spells bad news, from his horrible command of the English language to his unsafe and unreasonable expectations about a first meeting. This guy sounds like nothing more "dominant" than a horny teenager with no impulse control. Frankly, I can't imagine ANYONE who would agree to meet him after this conversation.

_____________________________

Master Hyde
A self-righteous, poly, dominant, possessive control freak with strong paternal tendencies and a sadistic inner child

(in reply to oceangem)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: First meeting procedures - 4/6/2007 11:57:36 AM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Laura

I do not meet male subs or any other guys at their place. I pick a coffee shop or let them pick it. After talking I go home, alone. That is a big rule for me. Never go anywhere with him after the first meeting. Take that time to think about over night. Sometimes I am less careful in the moment than I am if I get away for a bit and have some perspective.

I have had men suggest I am too careful. That is a flashing neon sign to me. A guy should respect that a woman wants to be careful. If they do not, why are you meeting a dork like that? He won't suddenly respect you more the next day, week, etc.


To me that's it in a nutshell. I think 99% of people are sane enough that you're gonna walk out of there alive...BUT...what's it worth to me to play with someone who doesn't give a crap about how I feel?

Like Laura says, they aren't going to suddenly change.

I know the OP, Ocean Gem, personally, and she's an experienced, real time player in our community. She knows her way around. I agree with her frustration in dealing constantly with people who think being a bottom/sub means you instantly take orders from anyone who asks.

I didn't go home with strangers when I went to bars in my youth and I don't do it now that the internet has partially replaced having to get showered and dressed and leave the house to find a date.

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to Laura)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: First meeting procedures - 4/6/2007 12:50:02 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear oceangem, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
Lass, it seems this Dominant if too lazy to type out 'you' and use 'u' all the time--submissive or dominant; they are not taking the time with another and would turn me off immediately.  I would be more forgiving if they had Dyslexia but--oh my!
 
Independent of the lazy typing -- this firm and stern approach that you didn't buy into and his 'tone' changed and saying "I wanted to make it work" is not much of a Dominant.  Perhaps in the bedroom but I don't feel any worthy Dominant would back down.  They would approach in a comfortable manner to you as well as being considerate to you as a lady--regardless if slave or Dominant.
 
Another thing is-- a lady wouldn't put herself in anybody's bedroom (unless a lady's bedroom to fawn over the latest gown and accessories) but--never ever for sex and or a scene. 
 
Being at a man's home--he has the advantage as it is familiar.  The disadvantage of inviting a strange Dominant into your home; is that should things turn bad/ugly--your sense of security and trust in home is shattered.
 
Meeting in a neutral spot is the best thing.  Having people know who you are to meet and having a call checking up on you is good.  It is called a "safe call."  I feel all who meet strangers, regardless of role--Dominant-submissive, male or female-- nobody is a match against crazy folks or people with guns.
 
Another trick into having someone go against their gut instincts are some comments of 'your loss', you aren't submissive/Dom if you don't do this or that--Just walk away from their sour grapes.  Better be safe than being stomped into somebody's glass of wine.

 
Just some thoughts.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

< Message edited by LadyHugs -- 4/6/2007 12:53:04 PM >

(in reply to oceangem)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: First meeting procedures - 4/6/2007 1:09:27 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs


Another trick into having someone go against their gut instincts are some comments of 'your loss', you aren't submissive/Dom if you don't do this or that--Just walk away from their sour grapes.  Better be safe than being stomped into somebody's glass of wine.

 


Great line, I just jotted it down!

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to LadyHugs)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: First meeting procedures - 4/6/2007 1:15:04 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear windchymes,

Sometimes I get a bit of wit in.

I'm pleased another one of my 'isms finds a home.  [Chuckles]

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: First meeting procedures - 4/6/2007 7:42:15 PM   
Laura


Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		windchymes, you had a great line too. I laughed out loud when I read your burping comment. 

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: First meeting procedures - 4/6/2007 10:01:04 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: arayofsunshine55

The ability to hear me is actually pretty essential to how I choose with whom I associate.  So his way would not ahve worked for me.  His sreponse would not have owrked for me.  And that's the glory of the weeding process.  It seems he thought you should be unhappy that he was passing on you.  Funny guy.

the way to my cunt is through my head.  So some time needs to be spent making the connection, getting into my head.  So it's dinner or pass for me.  And I am so very fine with those who choose to pass.  I am really not compatible with 99.9% of the world and I'm good with that.



Grrrrrrrrr.....gftsril.....gal

jentalbell.... zzz....fch.

(And I meant that).

And don't think I fucking didn't.

< Message edited by Griswold -- 4/6/2007 10:08:36 PM >

(in reply to arayofsunshine55)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: First meeting procedures - 4/6/2007 11:13:08 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I have met women where the first thing they knew about me in person was the feel of my cock as it forced its way into their throats or instead of my cock it was my hands they felt on their throat but either way it was often some time before they even saw my face.  I have met women over coffee and spent hours just talking.  I have even met them were it was going to be just coffee and they all but crawled out of the cafe leaving half full cups of coffee and a dark wet spot.

If a woman ASKED me if she should do this I would in general advice against it. However, it can be hot as hell.  If someone says, "this way or nothing" as LA says, that is their right.  However, if someone tries to guilt you or otherwise manipulate you into doing it, that is completely different.

(in reply to Griswold)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: First meeting procedures - 4/7/2007 12:19:02 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		I always think it is appropriate and polite upon meeting to introduce myself....However, I have found that some subs have trouble responding when their throat is filled with Domidong

_____________________________



(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: First meeting procedures - 4/7/2007 12:20:59 AM   
FreshBread


Posts: 29
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline 		Highly probable that he's an amateur......

(in reply to oceangem)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: First meeting procedures - 4/7/2007 12:22:22 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: arayofsunshine55



the way to my cunt is through my head. 


Yes I can see you love to have your brains fucked out....Also your profile would be a little more polished if it contained a "tit" shot or two.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 4/7/2007 12:23:10 AM >

_____________________________



(in reply to arayofsunshine55)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: First meeting procedures - 4/7/2007 12:34:32 AM   
unsung


Posts: 183
Joined: 12/23/2006
Status: offline 		oceangem, the lifestyle pool is large enough in BC surely other D-types or submissives could vouch for his nature.  However back to your original question, I don't think the circumstances warrants questioning whether whose way is the right way, as it still comes back to you and what you feel is the safest way.  You have been around awhile, and certainly you know when to allow your gut to lead you correctly, if not seek insight from some of those that are prominent in the BC  community.  Stay safe :)

(in reply to oceangem)
Profile   Post #: 40
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