quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit
So...my goals and motivations are all linked into one big plan...one goal has to be accomplished before I can accomplish another. Each of these three big goals is broken down into a dozen little goals so I dont get overwhelmed by it all. For example, rather look at working two jobs for the next 6 months, I look at it on per month basis. My goal is to get threw this month and my goal next month will be to get threw that month as opposed to looking all the way down the line at September and fealing overwhelmed and hopeless.

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ORIGINAL: Padriag
 
Whether a dominant or a submissive, where are you going to (goals)?  
Financial stability and independence.
 
What’s driving you to get there (motivations)?
Growing up working class and part of the working poor.

And for the bonus round, what ways have you experienced or utilized motivations and goals to direct behavior?
Life usually steps up to the plate to provide needed motivation.
 
Good thread for a Friday afternoon, Padriag.

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ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain

My goal is to be a dominant without the gadgetry. My motivation is to have the submissive completely feel my power over her life and to submit to my physical play at a level beyond what she thought she could. I strive to consistently present myself here as one who has thought out matters and, yet, come full circle and realized that it is all not so serious. For me, it is a philosophy of common sense.

Seeing the superficial behavior of many helps me to become a better dominant and avoid that type behavior while being a compassionate friend of those who are still in the unfathomable maze. Knowing looks to those who will understand do far more than rants when a silly remark is made.

So if I say something like I want to make others smile, it does not mean my goal is not to dominate firmly. I am dominating by letting the submissive relax and finding comfort in being herself. The fact is that someone who makes you feel good about yourself will always be desired. The more fun, level headed, approachable, successful, socially adept and respected in vanilla and D/s society, I am, the better Dom I am.

For the bonus round: The girl I treat like a friend and listen to without trying to prove how superior I am, is going to become the most dedicated slave, taking whippings and obeying religiously, because I validate her as a desired, pretty, fun and wise person.

As I have stated before, real control lies in the mind, and mental domination is also what I seek.

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ORIGINAL: Devilslilsister

i have a million goals in a million different areas of life.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

So here’s the question for discussion.  Whether a dominant or a submissive, where are you going to (goals)?   What’s driving you to get there (motivations)?
 
And for the bonus round, what ways have you experienced or utilized motivations and goals to direct behavior?

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain

My goal is to be a dominant without the gadgetry. My motivation is to have the submissive completely feel my power over her life and to submit to my physical play at a level beyond what she thought she could. I strive to consistently present myself here as one who has thought out matters and, yet, come full circle and realized that it is all not so serious. For me, it is a philosophy of common sense.

Seeing the superficial behavior of many helps me to become a better dominant and avoid that type behavior while being a compassionate friend of those who are still in the unfathomable maze. Knowing looks to those who will understand do far more than rants when a silly remark is made.

So if I say something like I want to make others smile, it does not mean my goal is not to dominate firmly. I am dominating by letting the submissive relax and finding comfort in being herself. The fact is that someone who makes you feel good about yourself will always be desired. The more fun, level headed, approachable, successful, socially adept and respected in vanilla and D/s society, I am, the better Dom I am.

For the bonus round: The girl I treat like a friend and listen to without trying to prove how superior I am, is going to become the most dedicated slave, taking whippings and obeying religiously, because I validate her as a desired, pretty, fun and wise person.

quote:

We all do, and that was a relization I hope this thread helped provoke.  We all have a wide variety of motivations, unspoken and sometimes unconscious goals that push us through our lives.  The more we understand them, the better we understand ourselves and why we act as we do, why we make the choices we do.

For dominants, that understanding about a submissive can aid them in managing the relationship.  For example, a submissive with an overeating problem may do so because food has become a "comfort" they turn to in times of stress, anxiety, etc.  Teaching that submissive to go looking for a hug or a pat on the head instead can help curb and control an over eating habit.  The same is true in cases of other habitual behaviors, whether that be unconsciously sabotaging relationships, disobedience / rebellion, self denigration, destructive behaviors, etc.  People don't do these things for no reason, there's a motivation at the root of it, a goal they are trying to achieve.  The better we understand that about ourselves the better we can control and change our own behavior.  As dominants, the better we understand that about submissive, the better we can guide them towards a better quality of life.