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RE: If you are attached at the hip so to speak, to your One, how do you become a bit more unattached?


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RE: If you are attached at the hip so to speak, to your... - 3/20/2007 9:09:24 AM   
jauntyone


Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline 		hello
 
when I am not busy playing at being a soldier, I do things that I know he would like to see me doing. I read, I take the time to pamper myself  (shhh, that's a secret ), I work around the house. Anything that occupies my mind and time is looked at as beneficial.
 
Perhaps it is a bit easier for me because Master and i are often not together, so it's imperative that I keep myself busy.
 
I wish you well,
 
melissa

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: If you are attached at the hip so to speak, to your... - 3/20/2007 10:17:18 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I was attached at the hip.  Not only was he my dominant, but he was my boss and best friend.  For 6 of the 7 yrs we were together I was his right hand, his business partner, and his most loyal defender. 
At the time it seemed to work.  But now that it is over I am lost.  He is still my partner but not my best friend, not my dominant, and he has moved on. 
Killer to the mental well-being, let me tell you.
I don't know if I will ever dive into another relationship at this point.  But I can tell you this, next time around, I am keeping part of me separate from him.
It really is hard to recover yourself when you don't.
Having given my all, and during other relationships, given only what I could, it is far safer to keep some of yourself for YOU.  Find things to occupy yourself so that you have a life to fall back on.  Friends to hang out with, or joy in other stuff that really makes life more interesting anyway.  With or without a partner in your life.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: If you are attached at the hip so to speak, to your... - 3/20/2007 12:26:14 PM   
Devilslilsister


Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		I've employed alot of tactics.  There is forcing yourself not to think of him.  One of the ways i found very helpful was going to the YMCA this summer.  i'd thow myself so hard into the aerobic classes that usually by the end of them i could barely walk. I'd be wiped for a day or two and then go back and do it again.  I went exploring in the woods around here.  i hung out with my younger neighbors and managed to get in loads of trouble.  i got back into school.  I went to Texas for awhile.. i made plans and goals for my future.. with out him. 

All in all, its a mindset.  i refused to feel like i felt.  I looked into me, i said "this f*ing sucks" and i refused to allow it to suck any longer.  On top of that i just slowly forced myself to stop caring.  I emotionally seperated myself from the situation and i probably emotionally seperated myself from myself. 

You know if you do something long enough, it can become a habit. 
If you lie to yourself long enough, it can become a truth

where there is a will, there has GOT to be a way. 


_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 23
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