RE: nuances of power exchange

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: nuances of power exchange

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: nuances of power exchange

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: nuances of power exchange - 3/11/2007 9:37:10 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

To me, what I hear in the gorian thread is someone terrified of form over function and so wanting to some sort of fig leaf to ensure that they are still in control rather than being strong and secure enough to hand over that control in a straight forward way.

(in reply to hisannabelle)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: nuances of power exchange - 3/11/2007 9:38:54 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

I would venture a guess that most people don't HAVE to place qualifiers such as "who comes first" in a relationship as long as there is reasonable and realistic understanding between the people in the relationship, and that any important issues are discussed ahead of time.

I mean really, how hard is it to choose between rushing to the hospital because your Dad had a heart attack and giving your dominant his nightly blowjob? Will the relationship crumble and fail because you chose to check on your UM who is bleeding profusely, instead of fixing your lord and masters dinner plate?

Life gets in the way of life. No matter what your relationship dynamic, to think that there will never be a time when something happens that will disrupt the flow in any relationship is unrealistic.

That was my point! It does not have to be a contest of who is more important to you. I have room in my heart for many people... including the UMs and other loved ones of my Daddy, and he is the same way.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: nuances of power exchange - 3/11/2007 9:43:20 AM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

That was my point! It does not have to be a contest of who is more important to you. I have room in my heart for many people... including the UMs and other loved ones of my Daddy, and he is the same way.

Exactly! I sometimes think people get as caught up in the "rules" department as they do in the "label" department.

But if it works for them.... more power to 'em!

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: nuances of power exchange - 3/11/2007 9:46:55 AM

VeryMercurial

Posts: 620
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline

There is difference to me between a play party partner and a LTR.
When it comes to affairs of the heart, my criteria are no different than a vanilla relationship.
It takes time to get to know someone, it takes trust and it takes committment.
I don't bring strangers into my home, my life or my inner circle.
When you become my partner, you are my partner.
What I love you must accept if not love also.
So my life has become easier with my partner, he has become part of my family.
No choices need to be made.

(in reply to hisannabelle)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: nuances of power exchange - 3/11/2007 9:48:58 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

"....fig leaf"....great writing Micheal.

i am not in the other thread....but there is one in the mistress section "if i loose my dom over this" that has a similar ring....

folks digging in their heels, and trying to annex control.

all good though, i have to say, because to my mind its healthy to get to a ledge, and debate jumping....and less healthy to blindly jump...

some how the latter pales in significance: informed (and gut wrangled) consent is much sexier.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: nuances of power exchange - 3/11/2007 12:00:43 PM

Hime

Posts: 149
Joined: 10/31/2006
From: Vegas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subsa
so i'd have to disagree with those who say the um must always come first.

I agree, they (more often than not) do not always come first.

"Child": a young person especially between infant and youth

There is no denying that once an individual reaches a certain level of maturity, comprehension and independence, that the parents responsibility to teach and protect takes on a less predominant role. So, parents take a step back, establish new priorities and, Life Experience become the new teacher.

~ xoxo

(in reply to subsa)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: nuances of power exchange - 3/11/2007 12:13:22 PM

BlackWomanSubNJ

Posts: 54
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

so i'll use a recent example from the gorean forums...

Just what is Gorean? For the life of me I can't figure it out.

_____________________________

My purpose is to learn to fullfill His desires, in the hope that He will become my Master and own me completely.

(in reply to hisannabelle)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: nuances of power exchange - 3/11/2007 1:11:41 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

its a complete lifestyle based on a poorly written fantasy novel series.

think, Trekies

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to BlackWomanSubNJ)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: nuances of power exchange - 3/11/2007 3:44:36 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackWomanSubNJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

so i'll use a recent example from the gorean forums...

Just what is Gorean? For the life of me I can't figure it out.

it's a lifestyle based around the principles and philosophy of life in john norman's gor books. there's also an online roleplaying phenomenon that's grown up around it, but there are many people who practice the principles espoused in the books in real life, as well.

(in reply to BlackWomanSubNJ)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: nuances of power exchange - 3/11/2007 4:07:39 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
As far as the original post, I read it as the UMs in question belonged to the couple, not hers alone. In other words, taking care of the children in a relationship IS the responsibility of the couple, and it is serving the dominant to make sure his offspring are well adjusted and cared for.

Julia, am I wrong or at one point did you say that you adamantly were not going to get involved in any serious Ds relationship until your UM was out of the house because you didn't think it was fair to stretch between the two?

If so, what brought the change of perspective?

If not, just ignore me :)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Profile

Post #: 30