RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off about

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off about

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off about

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off ... - 3/8/2007 10:40:54 AM

hammernhoney

Posts: 268
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline

FYI.."US old timers "as you call us are a treasure troves of good experiences and info and most of us are willing to share if approached in the correct manner....bounty

< Message edited by hammernhoney -- 3/8/2007 10:42:15 AM >

_____________________________

STEP INTO MY DARKNESS AND LET THE LIGHT OF YOUR SUBMISSION SHINE..

(in reply to litleone8620)

Post #: 21

RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off ... - 3/8/2007 10:43:06 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl
I didn't know how I was generalizing. I didn't get my questions answered, just critisized.

Shylah

Saying "It's my opinion that everyone sucks" is still an overgeneralization and a crappy opinion.

Instead, try "It's my opinion that a lot of people suck because they don't use spellcheck when they post."

You still might get pushback from that- but that's what intellectual intercourse is all about. The trick is to get the intercourse that is productive and not destructive.

I know a lot of people get pissed about having to always say "It's my opinion" or "For me..." but I think it helps people own their own feelings and makes communication clearer.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 22

RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off ... - 3/8/2007 10:44:28 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620
For some reason, the phrase 'true sub/slave/dom' has been floating around the forums a lot lately.

I'm curious as to know why.

Same reason you had a ton of threads with nothing but pages of fluffy one liner off topic posts- phases. Forums have their own cycles and things go up and down in rhythms, sometimes very predictably. This will pass and return.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to litleone8620)

Post #: 23

RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off ... - 3/8/2007 11:04:04 AM

Shylahgirl

Posts: 167
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hammernhoney

FYI.."US old timers "as you call us are a treasure troves of good experiences and info and most of us are willing to share if approached in the correct manner....bounty

Very true, but...

It seems like what they were saying is that some people who have been "playing" online for 8 years won't give credit to someone who has had one year of experince in real life. I've run into this in my own experinces.

Aslo, there are some older people out there who think all should listion to them spimply cuz they are older, not because of any prior acomplishments. I have also run it to this senerio.

There is also the case where sinse it took someone 5 years in the lifestlye to learn or acheve something they don't think that someone younger could ever do it in less time then that.

These are just exampels.

Shylah

< Message edited by Shylahgirl -- 3/8/2007 11:17:49 AM >

_____________________________

(in reply to hammernhoney)

Post #: 24

RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off ... - 3/8/2007 11:15:03 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl
It seems like what they were saying is that some people who have been "playing" online for 8 years won't give credit to someone who has had one year of experince in real life. I've run into this in my own experinces.

Depends on what the credit is about. There is a very real difference in quality and type of experience a person gets online vs offline. To expect differently is very odd.

quote:

Aslo, there are some older people out there who think all should listion to them spimply cuz they are older, not because of any prior acomplishments. I have also run it to this senerio.

Yes, that exists and it will continue to exist. The only thing to do is be yourself and show how you are the exception.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 25

RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off ... - 3/8/2007 12:00:19 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

quote:

One thing that really offended me was this concept of "old timers" thinking they hold all the keys to knowledge and that "newbies" (a word i hate, by the way) can't possibly know anything significant. There seemed to be this concept of quantity vs. quality, i.e. - "I've been doing this 20 years. There's no way you could possibly know more than me." i was intimidated by this at first until Master reassured me. He has over 10 years experience and says He's met many subs with years' experience that can't even begin to know what i know naturally. He compares it to something like a person playing guitar for 20 years versus a born prodigy. Which is better? Do all those years of practice necessarily mean you are better than someone "born" with a natural ability.

In my opinion, there is nothing better than real life experience, especially when it comes to the lifestyle.
Agreed. Hands-on experience really is the best teacher, regardless of what one is trying to learn.

There is only so much you can learn from books and websites. Now, i'm not saying age equals experience. I'm saying that a newbie is a newbie because they're new, not because they don't know X, Y, and Z. And book learning can only get you so far.
True. Again, regardless of the subject matter one is learning, reading and studying is only part of the process. Age does NOT necessarily equal experience, that's true. And personally, depending on what books and websites one is reading, that can be positive or detrimental. i've read so much drivel in different books and on various websites that i'd hate to think that's where i got all my information and knowledge.

And at the end of your statement, you're questioning nature vs. nurture. It may be in your nature to be a guitarist (using your example), but if it isn't cultivated (by real experience) then where is it going to go?
My point exactly. Therefore, i am now cultivating it by real-life experience. But, on the other hand, if the natural talent isn't there, 20 years of picking isn't going to make you a great guitarist, either - adequate or mediocre perhaps, but not a real talent.

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to litleone8620)

Post #: 26

RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off ... - 3/8/2007 12:11:45 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hammernhoney

FYI.."US old timers "as you call us are a treasure troves of good experiences and info and most of us are willing to share if approached in the correct manner....bounty

i meant no disrespect by the term "old timer," Bounty. my Master is 60 and has been at this awhile Himself. i was simply using a term i have heard thrown around. i'm sure that there are many folks out there who have had plenty of real-life experiences that have given them lots of wisdom and, from what i've read of you and Miss Diane, looks like you two have for sure. It's good that you're both willing to share what you've learned. As far as approaching someone "in the correct manner," i try to never disrespect anyone if it can be helped (and it can). It occurs to me as i type this though that i don't really want to approach alot of others for help in learning, as knowledgeable as they may be. The ONLY One i need to please is my Master and as long as i'm learning what He desires and serving Him the way He wishes, that's all i need to know. As i read alot of posts on this and similar sites from those just starting out, i think to myself how much smoother their path would perhaps be if they felt that way too (that all those voices out there - wise though they may be - are not the voice of their Master/Mistress and therefore not necessarily the ones to listen to). JMHO...........slave luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to hammernhoney)

Post #: 27

RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off ... - 3/8/2007 12:14:34 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: hammernhoney

FYI.."US old timers "as you call us are a treasure troves of good experiences and info and most of us are willing to share if approached in the correct manner....bounty

Very true, but...

It seems like what they were saying is that some people who have been "playing" online for 8 years won't give credit to someone who has had one year of experince in real life. I've run into this in my own experinces.

Aslo, there are some older people out there who think all should listion to them spimply cuz they are older, not because of any prior acomplishments. I have also run it to this senerio.

There is also the case where sinse it took someone 5 years in the lifestlye to learn or acheve something they don't think that someone younger could ever do it in less time then that.

These are just exampels.

Shylah

Yes, Shylah, thank you. That IS representative of some of what i was thinking as i typed my earlier response.....slave luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 28

RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off ... - 3/8/2007 12:51:42 PM

RobertCloud

Posts: 2959
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

I am wearing a red tee shirt..
How do you know? Is this the truth? Is it true when I wrote this? Or is it true when you are reading it? Was it true yesterday or will it be tomorrow?

The point is truth is relevant. What is one person's truth is not necessarily yours. Hell, I am color blind, I might not even be wearing a red shirt it could be green or grey for all I know, but I think it is red, and in my mind I am telling the truth.

It goes the same way in the lifestyle, and when people are trying to force their way upon you you just need to take it with a grain of salt and a smile and realize that they see things differently than you. They are stubborn, perhaps they have not reached a level of maturity and understanding of thought that you have nor of tolerance that all people have a right to live the lifestyle the way they wish it.

My vision of a slave is not someone else's vision. What is my answer to that? Thank the Creator for the individual mind and freewill he has given each of us to decide what is right for each of us.

I have come across hardnose people whose feel their way is the only way and truth be told that is why I am not part of several groups. I generally wind up blocking these people, not because I am not tolerant of them, but because they are not tolerant of me and others and I do not have to listen to them continuing to belittle me and those I care about with their narrow point of view.

So do not worry about what others think about what you are or how you do things, just live your vision of the lifestyle as you and the one you are with see best and be happy.

_____________________________

Author for Black Velvet Seductions
she melted to her knees and crawled to her master.
Toy's Story: Acquisition of a Sex Toy

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 29

RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off ... - 3/8/2007 1:00:53 PM

litleone8620

Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline

I have a bit of a problem with the fact that you put quotation marks around the word, 'playing', as if you, yourself, don't put a lot of credit in online relationships.

Just like LA said. What matters is the quality of experience you gain, not the number of years you've played. People can be in the lifestyle for years, and still have very little real time experience, versus someone who has been around for a year, and has had a bunch of r/t experience.

Some 'older' people you should listen to, some not so much. It all depends on what kind of information you're seeking. Ignore those that you don't like or agree with, and listen carefully to those you do.

_____________________________

He who laughs last didn't get the joke

We have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart?

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 30

RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off ... - 3/8/2007 1:01:11 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RobertCloud

I am wearing a red tee shirt..
How do you know? Is this the truth? Is it true when I wrote this? Or is it true when you are reading it? Was it true yesterday or will it be tomorrow?

The point is truth is relevant. What is one person's truth is not necessarily yours. Hell, I am color blind, I might not even be wearing a red shirt it could be green or grey for all I know, but I think it is red, and in my mind I am telling the truth.

It goes the same way in the lifestyle, and when people are trying to force their way upon you you just need to take it with a grain of salt and a smile and realize that they see things differently than you. They are stubborn, perhaps they have not reached a level of maturity and understanding of thought that you have nor of tolerance that all people have a right to live the lifestyle the way they wish it.

My vision of a slave is not someone else's vision. What is my answer to that? Thank the Creator for the individual mind and freewill he has given each of us to decide what is right for each of us.

I have come across hardnose people whose feel their way is the only way and truth be told that is why I am not part of several groups. I generally wind up blocking these people, not because I am not tolerant of them, but because they are not tolerant of me and others and I do not have to listen to them continuing to belittle me and those I care about with their narrow point of view.

So do not worry about what others think about what you are or how you do things, just live your vision of the lifestyle as you and the one you are with see best and be happy.

Beautifully said - trying to live others' vision of your own life can only lead to sorrow....slave luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to RobertCloud)

Post #: 31

RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off ... - 3/8/2007 1:07:24 PM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl

Very true, but...

It seems like what they were saying is that some people who have been "playing" online for 8 years won't give credit to someone who has had one year of experince in real life. I've run into this in my own experinces.

Aslo, there are some older people out there who think all should listion to them spimply cuz they are older, not because of any prior acomplishments. I have also run it to this senerio.

There is also the case where sinse it took someone 5 years in the lifestlye to learn or acheve something they don't think that someone younger could ever do it in less time then that.

These are just exampels.

Shylah

It is human nature to want to feel better, smarter, wiser and feelings of this nature. For most of us in the population we see the folly in this and/or keep it to ourselves. Some who have insecurities or self esteem issues need to show/tell people by either telling people how great they are or by tearing others down.

The most common go to way for a person of this nature to show that they are special is to emphasis what they think separates themselves as something very important. For example, an older dominant going after much younger submissive preaching how important experience is by talking up their’s or trying to stereotype younger people as being dangerous. It is the person who writes this is how it is in no uncertain terms because it validates them in the way they want.

It can be also just poor or lazy communication skills.

In my utopia world I would eliminate the use of experience when used in a way to try to make one person’s opinion as a fact and eliminate the number of posts listed that a person has on any message board and let their words have to stand up on their own without any bias.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 32

RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off ... - 3/8/2007 1:27:11 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

Do you really think only people in the BDSM community do this? Last time I bothered to look, it is pretty much a universal thing. Some people are the "if you aren't doing it my way you are wrong.", sort of people. Some people are the, "I will do it anyway but your way, because your way sucks.", sort of people. And some people are, "I don't give a rip if your way is right or wrong. I plan to go my own way.", sort of people. It has nothing to do with being into BDSM. It is simply life. People are always going to be who they are, regardless of lifestyle.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl

I wasn't meaning to say that what other said effected me on a personal level.

I mearly wanted to state a question as to why, people in the BDSM comunity as a whole, do these things.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 33

RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off ... - 3/8/2007 1:28:01 PM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

ahhh ummm... I have an observation to make here. That the people using the message boards generally are more grounded and intelligent. There appears to be a lot of deaf, dumb and blinds ones responding to profiles.

I try to point out this fact to a few of the frustrated ones, to come here and read posts from more grounded people.

Yes, there is a kind of spirtual aspect to BDSM, and there is a lot of mental brain juices involved in this whole thing. There are many that don't know this, because they are lost... standing in line... waiting for thier Ride at Disney Land. They have some unrealistic expections of fantasy burned into the brain cells.

This is not all about use and abuse. It's not all about pleasure either. There are a wide range of mental aspects which BDSM appeals to. Hell, what is right for one person may be wrong for another.  It's when two people hook up and when common needs and desires are fullfilled.   It's not all about Masters and Slave, or Mistress and Slaves either.   There are switches, Daddy's Girl, and so much more.. Gorean Lifestyle BDSM is not for everbody either.   It is just one of many thing under this umbrella.

In a sense, in the middle of posts. It may appear that we are all waring fractions attempting to claim throne to BDSM. But that's a throne nobody can hold. It's a pointless endevor.   There are somethings that a majority of groups share in common, and the minority tends to be overlooked.   But there is room for everybody in BDSM.

Even the Girl, which is Domme in her day to day, but desires to become the bottom end of forced sex and rape play. That in itself may be the only thing she so desires with BDSM.

There are Girls which want to be used and abused... without any love and affection.

There are Girls which want to wait on somebody hand and foot and be a full service slaves.

There are Girls which want to be a slave used only for Sex, and Household Chores is a hard limit.

There are those which want only a PPE, partial power exchange.

There is nothing wrong with any thing above in the examples. There are so many examples. I myself had a wonderul relationship with a Domme once.   No, I did not have to scrapes of food off the fucking floor. But some men may love that. and that's OK as well.

BDSM is about you, and how it applied to you. Not the whole damn world, or Hollywood fantasy.

I hear too many stories of Asshole Dom's telling a women she's not a true submissive, and that they'd better rethink what the hell they are doing.   I'd like to know where the fuck they got their copy of the complete BDSM bible, so that I can soak in gas, light my cigerette and toss a match upon it.

For every asshole out there like this, I hope somebody pisses in their mail box, and for really bad things to happen in thier life. They might as well be the crazy fucks which get on the evening news for raping and beating somebody to death. Because they are so closed minded that they have to be Cruel to other on this site. Other which have just as much right being here as anybody else. Including the Girl which only wants to act out scenes of rape and nothing more! Just because she does not want to make her life revolve around BDSM, does not mean that she must be told so.

If you are one of those people which treats people like this online here.  All I have to say to you is "Fuck you!", and I sincerely mean that.

But this is how I think and feel. I'm being honest about it as well. I am expressing my thought and feeling about this.  Then again, that's the whole point of this message board is about.

< Message edited by WhiplashSmile -- 3/8/2007 1:29:26 PM >

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 34

RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off ... - 3/8/2007 1:38:27 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

I've been reading your thread Shylahgirl.. and I'm at a loss as to what you are expecting?

Do you wish no feedback on anything you share other than a positive response? No discussion..no other insights?
Do you just want a resounding "KEWL!!! YOU GO GIRL !!" even if someone sees you might be standing on a railroad track with an oncoming train?

Here's a secret.. all the old timers have BEEN 20!

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 35

RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off ... - 3/8/2007 1:40:34 PM

litleone8620

Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline

I must say, Whip, you're posts are always insightful.

_____________________________

He who laughs last didn't get the joke

We have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart?

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 36

RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off ... - 3/8/2007 2:31:18 PM

lateralist1

Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

I would just like to wish you happiness in your relationship.
All I really want at the moment is to get to know someone really well who I can talk with about my need for BDSM.
But it has been my experience that people can not sustain a relationship even one on-line without wanting it to turn into 'play'.
My idea of D/s and BDSM is that it is not 'play'
Maybe I am being too serious. But I take relationships extremely serious because people matter to me. They have expectations of the other person. I have met people for the first time who have begged me to go to a hotel with them and play with them. I have also met people for the first time and enjoyed BDSM with them because I thought we had made the connection necessary to form a BDSM relationship only to find out that they weren't actually wanting a relationship. I've talked to people for months and months and still not found out what they really wanted. Perhaps they didn't know themselves. It has been said many times in many ways we are all different. I can't force someone into wanting what I want even though I am extremely dominant. I don't understand what a lot of people want from this lifestyle but I don't judge them for being different than me. It's the deceit that does my head in. I am always absolutely honest with who I am and what I want.
You are very very lucky. You have your relationship so although it's very nice of you to still be interested in what those of us less fortunate than you are thinking, it really doesn't matter that much to you now does it?

(in reply to litleone8620)

Post #: 37

RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off ... - 3/8/2007 2:56:13 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

I feel, and this is my personal opinion, that BDSM and in particular D/s is very spiritual for those involved. BDSM is about finding the joy in life and living life. (Once again my opinion) <--- Why do I feel that I have to state that?

not sure, but maybe if you would have said..."BDSM and in particular D/s is very spiritual "for me" and those that I am involved with", instead of "for those involved", people might take it as your opinion of your life and not like you are passing a judgement about others lives or speaking for them, without having to tag it as your opinion twice.

quote:

What is a “real slave/submissive” and what is a real “Master/Mistress”? What is the one thing that any “true slave/submissive” has that makes them a”true” what ever?
What is a “true Master/Mistress” what makes them a “true” whatever?
Why is it that some people in the lifestyle can’t seem to let others shear there personal opinions or thoughts/feelings with out coming back with how what they are stating is wrong?
Why must there be this attitude that one way of learning or training is superior to the other?
When I see these things it makes me sad that we have to be so sepret and yet still we clam the label of a community, when we can’t even let other members of the community shear what they believe with out at least one person making a personal attack?

throughout human history we "humans" are notorious for not being able to get along, even within the subcultures that we choose to congregate. c'est la guerre.

there is no one true way that works for everyone, including yours that we should all just get along.

it has been this slave's experience that anyone espousing a One True Way, or starting a "1-T-W" thread, generally gets ample responses to that same effect.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 3/8/2007 2:57:40 PM >

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 38

RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off ... - 3/8/2007 3:08:58 PM

CrazyC

Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline

How about a simple....because we are a community? We will all say ro do something the other won't like. We will all miscommunicate. ANd since our form of communication is the computer we have a huge short coming. You can't tell my tone while typing this, or which words are being emphasised. These will then come off diffrent and sometimes wrong when read by someone else.

Major rule that i think sould be a warning before coming to the boards....Don't take what other people say personally. Either let it role off your shoulders, or ask for clearification. If you are still butting heads, let it go. Just know your way is right for you.

_____________________________

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 39

RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off ... - 3/8/2007 5:09:14 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl

Why is it that some people in the lifestyle can’t seem to let others shear there personal opinions or thoughts/feelings with out coming back with how what they are stating is wrong?

Well, I say "Just me, could be wrong, but there you go."

I do not do this to abdicate my responsibility for having said what I did.

I also do not do this to sound apologetic for my opinion.

It is more of a "I think this, I will defend why I think this is you want me to, but expect a reasoned expression of my thoughts."

There is also an added "but if you want me to change my opinion I suggest a reasoned approach, because an out of control, emotional one will just cause me to laugh at you."

I have been wrong before, I will be wrong again.

Just me, etc.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Questions that I know many people will be piss off about

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.203