RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours?

RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (Full Version)

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Mercnbeth -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 8:34:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross I find it interesting that no one has mentioned anything about whether something is legal or not being a factor in their limits decision...but whenever we have a discussion on what limits a person actually has, someone always brings up what's legal. Very nice. How can it be an issue? Depending on the State/Country of the responder, homosexual activity may be considered a crime, as would sodomy, co-habitation of unmarried persons, and many others. Or perhaps the hypocrisy of being selective in the laws they find meritorious of following. Or it could be that "intent" out weighs any law. Or maybe they are just following TOS and not posting any illegal activity.

SweetAndInnocent -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 8:38:00 AM)
this slave trusted Master completely when she surrendered her self and her life to Him...she did not and does not "limit" Master in any way. HE has limits, this slave accepts and abides by them. [/quote] I am always curious about this, when I see the "no limits" line. Does that mean that you are perfectly ok with him cutting off a limb, forcing you to rob a bank, being buried alive, etc?

Mercnbeth -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 8:48:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth this slave trusted Master completely when she surrendered her self and her life to Him...she did not and does not "limit" Master in any way. HE has limits, this slave accepts and abides by them. quote: I am always curious about this, when I see the "no limits" line. Does that mean that you are perfectly ok with him cutting off a limb, forcing you to rob a bank, being buried alive, etc?...Orig: SweetAndInnocent ohhhhhhh, yessss. and they call this slave's kind "doormat"....be afraid, very very afraid.

dawntreader -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 9:04:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: canupleaseme I think my limits when i started out in all this were also based upon inexperience. Some of them have changed over time. When i first started out in bdsm my only limits were the usual skat /blood/childrens etc Ive since added adult babyism. Each to their own but after going to a friends house and being introduced to her 'baby' (which is fine no problem with that ) and then feeling really really uncomfortable while she breastfed him then changed his shitty arse in front of me [&:] I just found it hard to deal with so thats now a limit for me. i would have to agree with that as well! and like Whiplash, i might have some mental repurcussions from that description! i think i would like all my experiences to end with some type of sexual gratification so if exposed to something that didn't provide that after i experienced it, it would probably be shelved. i am not ashamed to say my motivations in this lifestyle are primarily sexual so much of extreme kink that feeds deep psychcotic needs really doesn't excite me. When i can be deeply humiliated by a severe scolding, it is hard to relate to those who crave the humiliation of wearing diapers and being made to "use" them, etc. But i am not judging, just saying why that would be a hard limit and why "slavehood" wouldn't be for me...

ArgoGeorgia -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 9:14:45 AM)
Started with an open mind, very few limits except those that can't have consensual agreement (kids, animals). Over time have found things I like and don't like. Even the don't likes aren't hard limits for me, though. They are just stuff I don't like. Otherwise, I try to remain flexible.

BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 9:17:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetAndInnocent I am always curious about this, when I see the "no limits" line. Does that mean that you are perfectly ok with him cutting off a limb, forcing you to rob a bank, being buried alive, etc? I could be wrong [8\|] but I don't think robbing banks, being buried alive or cutting off limbs are actual kinks, so those wouldn't be included in a hard limits list. And if they were, you'd simply make sure you chose a dominant that didn't have a fantasy of burying alive his one armed slave who was on the FBI's most wanted list. [:D]

TigressFL -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 9:25:24 AM)
For a long time I had limits that reflected well known types of play that I was not interested in doing; i.e. Golden Showers, Scat, Diaper Play, nailing someone's balls to a board with real nails, etc. but then I realized that there were "activities" that I viewed as "common sense NOT to do" that other people actually did and that it would be in my best interest to start including them on my so called "limit list"just to help weed out the people that do them lol . Things like death, animals, kids, etc. All of which I cannot wrap my head around anyone wanting to do <go figure> but the fact is many people do (Just not anywhere I can see it). While my so called limits includes types of play I have no interest in and things I view as simple common sense, it also, includes things like... I refuse to sweep and mop floors.... not my job! lolol ~Tigress~

SweetAndInnocent -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 9:35:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel quote: ORIGINAL: SweetAndInnocent I am always curious about this, when I see the "no limits" line. Does that mean that you are perfectly ok with him cutting off a limb, forcing you to rob a bank, being buried alive, etc? I could be wrong [8\|] but I don't think robbing banks, being buried alive or cutting off limbs are actual kinks, so those wouldn't be included in a hard limits list. I didn't realize we were now capable of determing kinks. So please, refer to me where I can find this list. I want to be sure that everything I like is an "accepted kink" now. And if they were, you'd simply make sure you chose a dominant that didn't have a fantasy of burying alive his one armed slave who was on the FBI's most wanted list. [:D]

Mustardseed -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 9:36:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: touchthesky I am just wondering if CM members arrived at their hard limits through trial and error, or just imagining what is beyond the beyond. Both, actually. That is, there are some things I've decided are a hard limit simply through play (inner thigh torture, for instance), and others that I know I wouldn't like in play because dealing with them in real life makes me twitch a little (scat, for me, is a necessary inconvenience for anal play -- not something to go seeking out for pleasure). quote: Would ou ever let anyone change your hard limits and why ? Change? That's an interesting way of putting it. I've do edge play from time to time, pushing boundaries and the like. It depends on the limit. For instance, I've mentioned to my Daddy a couple of times before that I'm curious about his handcuffs because of a bad experience I once had with a paramilitary gaming group. But I've had enough experience with my hard limits that I know which have a chance of leading to deeper enjoyment for me and which would involve me just putting up with a scene.

Mercnbeth -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 10:00:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel quote: ORIGINAL: SweetAndInnocent I am always curious about this, when I see the "no limits" line. Does that mean that you are perfectly ok with him cutting off a limb, forcing you to rob a bank, being buried alive, etc? I could be wrong [8\|] but I don't think robbing banks, being buried alive or cutting off limbs are actual kinks, so those wouldn't be included in a hard limits list. *And if they were, you'd simply make sure you chose a dominant that didn't have a fantasy of burying alive his one armed slave who was on the FBI's most wanted list. [:D]* See now - how hard is that really? Have a Dom or Master who you know enough, and trust enough to surrender your limits and live under his. From the Master side of the equation. Those "challenges" are amusing. It would be as if I owned a Lamborghini but the only way to prove that I owned it would be to push it over a cliff. Well, I value beth more than any other "possession". The idea of chopping off a limb to prove I "own" her, or as a demonstration of her "no limits" submission to me, has no chance of occurring. Guess that makes us fakes and posers.

BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 10:06:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel quote: ORIGINAL: SweetAndInnocent I am always curious about this, when I see the "no limits" line. Does that mean that you are perfectly ok with him cutting off a limb, forcing you to rob a bank, being buried alive, etc? I could be wrong [8\|] but I don't think robbing banks, being buried alive or cutting off limbs are actual kinks, so those wouldn't be included in a hard limits list. *And if they were, you'd simply make sure you chose a dominant that didn't have a fantasy of burying alive his one armed slave who was on the FBI's most wanted list. [:D]* See now - how hard is that really? Have a Dom or Master who you know enough, and trust enough to surrender your limits and live under his. From the Master side of the equation. Those "challenges" are amusing. It would be as if I owned a Lamborghini but the only way to prove that I owned it would be to push it over a cliff. Well, I value beth more than any other "possession". The idea of chopping off a limb to prove I "own" her, or as a demonstration of her "no limits" submission to me, has no chance of occurring. Guess that makes us fakes and posers. In my world it makes you a M/s couple I admire greatly. [sm=hello.gif]

domiguy -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 10:13:20 AM)
I have always has a fantasy of being dressed up like a monkey and then flinging my poo at all of you.

kyraofMists -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 2:06:08 PM)
We do not use the phrase hard limits. He makes the decision on what my limits are and some of it is trial and error and others are decided through conversations. He limits me in these areas to protect my well-being and not just because I do not like something. Over time though these may or may not change depending on our growth. Knight's kyra

michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 2:17:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stef quote: ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia due to circumstanses beyond my control, i cannot answer this question in open forum. Don't be shy Michael, you can share with us. What happened? Did you wake up one morning to find someone's balls slapping against your chin? ~stef no that has never and will NEVER happen. any further comment would cause a reprimand

stef -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 2:22:58 PM)
Then maybe you should stop bringing it up, don't you think? ~stef

unsung -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 2:24:09 PM)
kyraofMists, I was always very interested in meeting your Lord Knight of Mists as well as you ladies, but I have to say reading the combined threads from each of you, there is a sense of a 'hard limit' being etched in my mind. lol BBQ brushes, he sets my limits, boxes with a few holes, oooooo yes I sense somethings for me are just not going to happen in the immediate future. lol nervously. be well.

swtnsparkling -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 2:35:10 PM)
quote: SweetAndInnocent I am always curious about this, when I see the "no limits" line. Does that mean that you are perfectly ok with him cutting off a limb, forcing you to rob a bank, being buried alive, etc? When a slave has no limits my understanding is usualy means no limits except for what the Master has- yanno moral, legal, lima beans.etc. common sence not the ridiculous

michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 2:36:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling Michael, Do you know just what a Hard Limit is? I looked at yours the list is extremely long.so if your mistress said "come sit next to me and read me the newspaper" you'd cry oh no mistress that's a HARD LIMIT I just cant!seriously? as long as it's not the Sports Section, that wouldn't bother me...i burn the sports section before i read any part of the rest of the paper...call it personal satisfaction

sassykat -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 3:18:12 PM)
My hard limits have not really changed from when I first started except for the addition of electrical play & ingesting anything that can throw my body/immune system out of control ( I had a illness that can recur at anytime & never want it back again). Luckily the one dominant I generally session with has no problems with any of mine & never has, in fact he's stated many times that the only way he's using electrical devices is if he's being paid to do it. He can do anything he wants to me & has because I know he'll never harm me. As far as any future dominants, each relationship is different & I'll decide as I go along what I can deal with from them & what is off limits.

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 3:18:26 PM)
Hard limits...humm..well as many have said it depends on the Dominant of choice, combined experience,combined interests,but as with many as well ,it depends on personal choice or squick factor..Of course knowledge of self would be helpful... with that being said...hopefully..there is honesty on both sides of the slash when limits are discussed...sometimes I feel that lack of communication or honesty, in kink interests leads to many a downfall in relationships....Tempting

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