RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (Full Version)

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SirDraven -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 5:11:34 AM)

My limits are things I do not like or can not tolerate. They are highy unlikey to change.

For example I have been choked more then once. My throat is off limits. Nor will I engage in "chocking" behavior as I am not comfortable with it and dont trust my control.



Aileen68 -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 5:46:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

due to circumstanses beyond my control, i cannot answer this question in open forum.

Don't be shy Michael, you can share with us.  What happened?  Did you wake up one morning to find someone's balls slapping against your chin?

~stef

Isn't that called teabagging? 



sleazybutterfly -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 5:53:40 AM)

I would agree with LA on this one.  There are a couple things I won't do, and the things I will do.  I gave up all limits with Master, but that is only because I know he and I are on the same wavelength in our interests and pleasures.

They aren't things I have tried, or they wouldn't be hard limits for me.  They would include perm.harm, fire, needles, and scat.  Those would not change for anyone, and I don't feel the need to try them to see if I might like them.



WhiplashSmile -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 5:54:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: canupleaseme

lol I used to have a profile that said must be potty trained on the requirements !!!
My friends nan ( who is really cool) is in a nursing home and she says she feels like its a creche!  everyone has a nappy on and they all dribble bless maybe we all become adult babies !!!


I've updated profile now...  Yes, we are all headed to become adult babies one day... perhaps mnottertail will hit us on the road on our way there.  Hell I hope he'd run my ass over, if I were to slip past the deep ends of my limits!!



canupleaseme -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 6:01:51 AM)

[:)] Yeah me too I cant imagine anything worse !!!



MsKatHouston -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 6:02:59 AM)

quote:

I am just wondering if CM members arrived at their hard limits through trial and error, or just imagining what is beyond the beyond. Would ou ever let anyone change your hard limits and why ?


I arrived at my hard limits based on my initial reaction to a particular activity, whether or not I was actually experienced in the form of play or exposed to it.  So I suppose it is imagining what is beyond the beyond.  However, I have been doing this for quite some time and throughout the years my limits have fallen by the wayside save a few.  I think they changed based on exposure to particular acts.  For example, a long time ago in a galaxy far far away I had knife play as a hard limit.  I could not imagine cutting someone and it scared me.  After seeing knife play and cutting about a zillion times, I became fascinated by it, learned about it and it is now one of my favorite activities.  The same can be said for most of my limits I used to have. 

Now, I have my tastes and preferences but few limits, really.  I may not get all hot over a particular act but I would not call it a limit either.  I think what I am stuck with now is scat and spitting. 



swtnsparkling -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 6:04:03 AM)

I only have a few Hard limits.They are the same ones I started out with. Those will never be touched upon ever.

Everything else was pretty much a go. There have been  many things I was scared to  death to do- but I did  them and glad I did.




BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 6:14:52 AM)

OUR hard limits are just about the same going to the core ,no kids, no scat and yes no animals ITS just things I don't enjoy and our subs/slaves are allowed  only limits we impost on our selfs..bounty



justfortheforums -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 6:16:06 AM)

anything that would not allow me to look at myself in the mirror the next day and like who i was is a hard limit for me.



swtnsparkling -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 6:22:53 AM)

Michael,  Do you know just what a Hard Limit is? I looked at yours the list is extremely long.so if your mistress said "come sit next to me and read me the newspaper" you'd  cry oh no mistress that's a HARD LIMIT I just cant!seriously?



juliaoceania -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 6:39:49 AM)

Some of my hard limits have changed (with the person I am currently with). Some of my hard limits have not changed. There are a few things I could not see myself doing for anyone, and he has those same limits as I do

I think that my hard limit list was first thought of approximately 4 yrs ago, I am not surprised I would change because most of my hard limits were just hard limits with the dom I was with... I think that I should have called them soft limits, but I did not know that my feelings would change.



thetammyjo -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 6:47:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: touchthesky

I am just wondering if CM members arrived at their hard limits through trial and error, or just imagining what is beyond the beyond. Would ou ever let anyone change your hard limits and why ?


Some of my are based on my moral and ethical code -- unless I have a stroke that radically changes my personality those are not changing.

Others were through doing and realizing it was not working -- this is the case with me being the mommy or something else in that role for very young age play scenarios.

Some are based on the fact that I don't have the skills to do them safely and no interest in learning about them frankly -- scarification for example.



Mercnbeth -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 7:16:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: touchthesky

I am just wondering if CM members arrived at their hard limits through trial and error, or just imagining what is beyond the beyond. Would ou ever let anyone change your hard limits and why ?


this slave trusted Master completely when she surrendered her self and her life to Him...she did not and does not "limit" Master in any way.
 
HE has limits, this slave accepts and abides by them.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 7:45:14 AM)

I find it interesting that no one has mentioned anything about whether something is legal or not being a factor in their limits decision...but whenever we have a discussion on what limits a person actually has, someone always brings up what's legal. 

Very nice.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 7:47:14 AM)

Limits, be they in the scene or emotional boundary issues, always come from our own "stuff".

Note: stuff isn't necessarily bad...it creates good limits like safe sex and an expectation of respect.

Master Fire



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 8:06:41 AM)

i reached my hard limits because there are some things i find disgusting/demeaning and don't wish to be treated like that (i.e. watersports). a couple of the others listed in my profile do run in the grounds for legal concerns if turned into abuse while the rest i have no interest in participating.

to answer your second question, no i wouldn't allow someone to change my hard limits even if they wanted to experiment either - i'm not a test subject to see how far they push without seriously hurting me.  i'm glad Daddy isn't interested in doing those that i have listed as hard limits because He's not a sadist and it's not His thing either.



thetammyjo -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 8:11:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I find it interesting that no one has mentioned anything about whether something is legal or not being a factor in their limits decision...but whenever we have a discussion on what limits a person actually has, someone always brings up what's legal.

Very nice.


To a degree that I agree with the law when it meshes with my morality, that might be considered a factor.

However, some of what we do might be considered or argued as illegal so simply saying "I won't do illegal things" might = I don't do bondage or SM in some communities.

I am never forgetful that the only thing that might keep the cops from my door is the trust I have with my slave and our sense of duty and honor to maintain our relationship. If Fox wanted to I'm sure he could report me to the cops and a clever prosecutor would bring me up on some charges.

I believe I'd be a fool to think otherwise.



MsKatHouston -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 8:11:21 AM)

quote:

I find it interesting that no one has mentioned anything about whether something is legal or not being a factor in their limits decision...but whenever we have a discussion on what limits a person actually has, someone always brings up what's legal. 


Now that you mention it, that is interesting.  I suppose for me, I find some laws just so inane that it does not factor into my own limits.  I also think some are so obvious that they do not bear mentioning.  OK, I'm not going to rob a bank at gun point or murder someone.  But I don't see that as kink.  Similarly to the reason I do not list kids as a hard limit.  I think that has nothing to do with BDSM.  So, I suppose my list of hard limits is pretty long when you factor in those types of things but I don't mention those because I feel responsible adults wouldn't go there anyway. 



azzmaster -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 8:17:33 AM)

to aileen68. i once convinced a male sub that " teabagging" meant having his balls dipped repeatedly in boilng water



juliaoceania -> RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? (3/3/2007 8:22:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I find it interesting that no one has mentioned anything about whether something is legal or not being a factor in their limits decision...but whenever we have a discussion on what limits a person actually has, someone always brings up what's legal. 

Very nice.


When I first started exploring WIITWD I thought I had to list every illegal activity that was out there as a part of my "hard limits". I would never feel the necessity to do so again. I realize that if I am going to play with someone these are things that I really do not need to spell out because if I do not know the person well enough for it to be a "given" that I will not hurt UMs or murder someone for him... well then I have terrible judgment in human beings and should address this before I go submitting to someone... just my opinion



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