RE: I am soooooo niave .......

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RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 5:04:30 PM

Wildfleurs

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A lot of times things seem much more extreme, weird, and out there in font and in your imagination then when you are in the thick of it. Keep an open mind and make sure to not look at it with rose colored glasses and you'll be fine.

C~

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RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 5:53:05 PM

CelticPrince

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whispers,

worry not about thing that might or not come to pass. Each Dominant has his/her own ways and many are pretty tame compared to others, so just take your time in the selection process of who you offer yourself to.

CP

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RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 6:09:21 PM

oblige

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whew! me too, about a year ago, and still as a newbie. if feel pretty lucky i went to some local munches and asked a married Dom/Master to be my mentor. i highly recommend this to any new subs in BDSM! i just run everything by Him and neither Him or his wife have led me astray. cruising to find a dom can be scary in and of itself! i prefer real people who are in the scene, because they kinda know each other and tend to take care of new single subs. Besides--there are all kinds of D/s and not all are s/m and not all s/m is extreme... Have fun exploring! ~oblige~

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RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 7:36:40 PM

simplewhispers

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I think maybe I am looking thru rose colored glasses..... a bit dangerous , but sure is nice .....

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RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 7:40:09 PM

Zsuzsanna

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quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

I look at some of the threads and think OMG that would literally kill me if I tried that ......... and then some of em I look at and think "do people actually do that?" "is that some kind of joke? "

Lordy the Dom that finally comes to me has his work cut out for him .........

I feel so alone .......

Have you been exposed, so to speak, to a lot of BDSM activity yet? I have a lot of the same thoughts too. I'm sure once I get more experience, it all won't seem so strange.

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RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 7:44:12 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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In my experience, it becomes a more familiar experience and occurs less frequently- but I too still occasionally stumble across something that makes my eyes widen and go "WTF?"

I'm just much quicker and more adept at going "Yeah, should have figured" and moving on.

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RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 8:03:53 PM

sensualmagirl

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~fast reply~

My 2 cents... I started to explore on another site about 2 years ago... was scared off into retreat for another year simply by someone's chat with me, I thought they were insane... lol... I thought: this can not be the lifestyle for me. I stayed away for almost a year, and signed back on to the other site because I couldn't stay away from what I knew I wanted.

Shortly after, I met a married Dom who became kind of a mentor for me. He also gave me one of those BDSM checklists, and I answered it very honestly with myself, most of which were "no way, uh, uh, not gonna happen ever!" LOL... He laughed, and would ask "do you know what that really means?" Most times, the answer was no, and he would explain it to me. He and I never actually "played" per se, but, we got together a few times and once he brought over a suitcase of "goodies" just for me to touch and see and understand. I became less and less afraid. He was also there for me when every Tom, Dick and Harry idiot online IM'd me and would attempt to put me down or freak me out. I talked or emailed to him about everything and He helped me filter through the BS most times.

About 7 months ago, I met someone here from CM, who fits with me perfectly. He knew well enough to take things slow, introduce things little by little... I am still learning, and honestly, I don't think we ever stop learning about ourselves, because if we the journey came to an end, where would we be then? I have to say, once I was with the right person, nothing really has "squicked" me out with him. He and I have the same hard limits (which are quite few), and everything else is pretty soft limits -- maybe we'll go there, maybe we won't. For me, it's up to Him, I trust him, and want to please him -- in turn, I'm really quite happy in that knowldge... everything else is pure "gravy" to me... hehehe

Just take your time, don't let some of the BS out there fool you into retreat (like I did), you'll find the right person for you... there is someone for everyone.

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RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 8:12:08 PM

simplewhispers

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I went to ALT..... and was offline for a week.... still have not been back , the threads titles were to much for me .......

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RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 8:24:17 PM

sensualmagirl

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yah, that's the "other" site I was referring too... lol... that's where I met my friend/mentor. I met my Papi (aka, Master) here on CM though.

from what I gather "BDSM" covers a wide-range of people from low key to very specialty "kinks" -- you don't have to be into everything everyone else is, and it's okay, really... you just be you because it's all you can be.

< Message edited by sensualmagirl -- 2/26/2007 8:26:33 PM >

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RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 8:29:18 PM

sensualmagirl

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Oh, forgot, I found a lot of Yahoo groups were quite helpful finding Munches and even just reading the emails was a great resource. I read some "how-to" books as well as fictional novels. To me, the more knowledge I gained (even the fictitious stories) made me less afraid and more excited.

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RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 9:01:11 PM

Zsuzsanna

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sensualmagirl

Oh, forgot, I found a lot of Yahoo groups were quite helpful finding Munches and even just reading the emails was a great resource. I read some "how-to" books as well as fictional novels. To me, the more knowledge I gained (even the fictitious stories) made me less afraid and more excited.

Yes. This has been my experience also. I find the Yahoo groups very helpful.

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