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I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 9:52:32 AM   
simplewhispers


Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		I look at some of the threads and think OMG that would literally kill me if I tried that ......... and then some of em I look at and think "do people actually do that?" "is that some kind of joke? "

Lordy the Dom that finally comes to me has his work cut out for him .........

I feel so alone .......
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 9:54:31 AM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		Not alone, but unique perhaps. Nothing wrong with that!

Normal is just another word for ordinary, i prefer to extraordinary thanks

(in reply to simplewhispers)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 9:57:00 AM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		Don't feel alone.  You will likely find that once you enter into a relationship with your dominant and the trust builds, you may become more open to trying things that previously scared or even sickened you.

You may even find yourself willing to explore more simply to please him.



(in reply to simplewhispers)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 9:59:58 AM   
angeldevil


Posts: 503
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: uk
Status: offline 		You will find the right person.....different strokes for different folks!

Doms are just as individual as you are......

_____________________________

Do these welts make my butt look big?

(in reply to hereyesruponyou)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 10:06:32 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		Before I found kink hot for myself 2 years ago I too thought No Fricken Way in Hell am I EVER going to do x.
LOL now x is something I think's a little too fluffy for me and I'm all turned around by deeper edge and extreme play I see.
In time you to will think, geeze I use to thing that was a heinous thing, now I crave it just like I did.
Besides, you don't have to be into anything or everything, just what the Dom you want to be with wants you to be into.
Ya never know you may get with a Dom who does not want you to wear the electro collar, or things like that and this worrying you'll not be enough of an edgy player will all be for nothing.
Be Well,
suzanne

< Message edited by onestandingstill -- 2/26/2007 10:07:03 AM >

(in reply to simplewhispers)
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RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 10:18:44 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Just don't make the mistake of saying "No, I'll never do that, no way!"

Don't worry, you are who you are.  There is no "kinkiest gold medal" despite what people try and say.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to onestandingstill)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 10:20:30 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		don't feel so bad just because your kink isn't wasn't everyone else's kink. there are many things i wouldn't do as a submissive which i think are unhealthy and unsafe.  i'm happy that Daddy is the right DaddyDom for me because He doesn't participate in such kinks either. the trick is finding the right Dom that is right for you. the choice is still yours and you don't have to like what your potential Dom likes.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to simplewhispers)
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RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 10:24:43 AM   
TheGaggingWh0re


Posts: 222
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline 		Haha. That's kind of funny! When I was younger I used to go "Eewww, girls have sex with other girls?" Little did I know I was a budding bisexual and I eventually got over it. Also, it shocked the hell out of me to know there was a lifestyle community like this! I thought I was one of very few people when I was a kid up until the world-wide-web opened my eyes.

I think half the fun is learning about these things, so don't feel bad! How dull would it be if we already knew everything?

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 10:32:22 AM   
simplewhispers


Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		the good news is although most of it scares me , I dont normally have the instant thought of "HECK NO " I am at least tilting my  head think hmmmmmmmm ,wonder what .............. wonder how ........ ............ and then a deep sigh ..... and the realization of  hunger sets in again .....

(in reply to TheGaggingWh0re)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 10:39:45 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		When I first started discussing limits with my former dominant he gave me that BDSM checklist to run through to see what I found intriguing and what I found to be hardlimits. I named off many things that just plain sounded scary as hardlimits. He objected to me doing this.. and it kinda overloaded me because I began to think about these scary things all the time over the next ensuing days. Finally I blurted out this question to him "Are you going to gag me, stick needles in me, blindfold me, and abrade me on our first date, or what?" He was highly amused by that.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to simplewhispers)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 10:42:10 AM   
simplewhispers


Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

When I first started discussing limits with my former dominant he gave me that BDSM checklist to run through to see what I found intriguing and what I found to be hardlimits. I named off many things that just plain sounded scary as hardlimits. He objected to me doing this.. and it kinda overloaded me because I began to think about these scary things all the time over the next ensuing days. Finally I blurted out this question to him "Are you going to gag me, stick needles in me, blindfold me, and abrade me on our first date, or what?" He was highly amused by that.



LMAO and exactly MY FEAR......... still laughing ........

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 10:47:49 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Well if you take your time and choose wisely, your  dominant will not want to overwhelm you and take you places that you have trepidation over too quickly. They will want you to be as excited as you are fearful... and they will slowly introduce you to the tamer things and allow you to work your way to the things that you maybe unsure of.... That is if you make sure to communicate to them. Not all doms are patient I suppose, but many are.  You would be surprised how things will change once you get more confidence in what you are doing and trust whom you are doing it with...

But I understand how you feel completely!

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to simplewhispers)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 11:15:53 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		Being self aware and comfortable in your own skin will in the end always give you the best chance in finding a great match for yourself and much happiness.

Do not fall for the high school/peer pressure and thinking you are not “cool” enough because of what you read. There are plenty of people from the other side of the equation who will be perfectly acceptable, happy and respectful of your limits and as other has mentioned one never knows going down the road.

Remember what person A might think is a no way in hell limit person B might think they cannot not get enough of, then on another thing person A might think heck yeah and person B goes no way. It may look like everyone is into everything but the fact is everyone is different and nobody is better or cooler then another.



_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 11:53:34 AM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		I am ~so~ not into pain. I'm a wimp. I was fortunate to associate with a Sir who was not intent on pushing me - what He did He did slowly ... and I learned that it was tolerable if not downright hawt. My Master is also not into forcing me to do things immediately, saying that He would ease me into x or y and perhaps I would learn what it is to be a pain slut. I trust Him and know that if it is too much for me then He will stop or back off. For me, it's all about the trust ... and the desire to serve Him in the manner He wishes to be served.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 12:03:48 PM   
pattiann


Posts: 48
Joined: 7/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Well if you take your time and choose wisely, your  dominant will not want to overwhelm you and take you places that you have trepidation over too quickly. They will want you to be as excited as you are fearful... and they will slowly introduce you to the tamer things and allow you to work your way to the things that you maybe unsure of.... That is if you make sure to communicate to them. Not all doms are patient I suppose, but many are.  You would be surprised how things will change once you get more confidence in what you are doing and trust whom you are doing it with...



I agree with julia completely.  Although I am still in the 'virtual' stages of a relationship with my Master, I have found that things that scared me before, I actually enjoyed.  For example:  3 months ago, I was deathly afraid that he would use a zipper of clothespins on me because I thought it would hurt unbearably.  The day he told me to buy some wooden clothespins, had me seeking excuses.  But I did it and when he told me what to do and how to do it, I was so afraid that I would fail the task because of the pain.  Amazingly enough, it barely hurt.  I was laughing the whole time and even volunteered to put them on a more sensitive area.  Once I looked at what I had done, I was so proud of myself that I asked to take pictures.
As others have said, it is all about finding someone that understands you and will move slowly.  It is all about your trust that he won't push you to something that you can't handle.

Pattie

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 12:11:41 PM   
sophia37


Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		I had to double check to see if I was reading the Master or Mistress section. But no. This is under general. And in general, trying out new things is not just for subs with doms. I actually consider myself a vanilla person. Mainly becuase I never heard that word before I came to this site, and I think its fun to be the ultimate outsider in any setting.

Sooo, as a vanilla person, (lol) Im here to say I've tried a lot of stuff that I never would have thought to try in the past. Like L.A. said, never say never. Im the person that used to say that, until I realized that every little thing I said I would NEVER do or would NEVER happen to me, either happened to me or I did. lolol Such is my life. Cant trade it, so I must learn from it instead.

Just keep an open mind, and interesting things can inspire, enlighten and entertain your soul..

(in reply to pattiann)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 2:40:26 PM   
aurora31


Posts: 266
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline 		Oh wow you sound like I did 2 yrs ago when I first got into the scene. There was no way in hell any one was going to hit me hard enough to leave a bruise, I was primarily interested in bondage and spanking. Boy how things have changed. Things I swore there was no way in hell I would ever do I now love. I have grown tons in the last two yrs. Just don't close your self off to the experience. Listen to others account of participating in some of the activities that right now you find distasteful, keep an open mind and listen to what they say and the passion they feel about the experience. Go out and watch people who are knowledgeable in that type of play, read up on the safety issues involved and perhaps even bit the bullet and try it if you find someone your comfortable with. That's what I did and I am glad I kept an open mind as I would be missing so much if I had not. I now thourghly enjoy some of the edgier play, knives, needles. blood and breath play. And I live for my bruises they are almost a badge of honor. You may not like those activities or you may far surpassed them to even edgier things. All I ask is that you keep an open mind and don't limit yourself because it sounds to far out there. Find out what you like and what you don't then don't let anyone tell you what your likes and dislikes are or let them put you down for them. As we all have different wants and needs. After you have figured this out find someone who shares your interests. For me it is someone who I know will continue to push me both physically and mentally and I have gone from a bedroom submissive to a 24/7 slave. It is what works for me. Again find out what works for you the go find it.

aurora

< Message edited by aurora31 -- 2/26/2007 2:42:43 PM >

(in reply to sophia37)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 2:49:04 PM   
moki1984


Posts: 274
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

the good news is although most of it scares me , I dont normally have the instant thought of "HECK NO " I am at least tilting my  head think hmmmmmmmm ,wonder what .............. wonder how ........ ............ and then a deep sigh ..... and the realization of  hunger sets in again .....

its always the quiet ones who think its scary and wrong in the beginning who turn out to go the most extreme hehe

(in reply to simplewhispers)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 4:23:58 PM   
simplewhispers


Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: moki1984

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

the good news is although most of it scares me , I dont normally have the instant thought of "HECK NO " I am at least tilting my  head think hmmmmmmmm ,wonder what .............. wonder how ........ ............ and then a deep sigh ..... and the realization of  hunger sets in again .....

its always the quiet ones who think its scary and wrong in the beginning who turn out to go the most extreme hehe




(in reply to moki1984)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: I am soooooo niave ....... - 2/26/2007 4:45:39 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		I remember being brand new and thinking, he wants me to do WHAT to him?  (fell under the heading of, his kink wasn't my kink at the time)
Of course it takes so much more to shock me now.  Some of the more intense play pictures I have seen were posted for the shock value, I realise that now, so I ignore my initial reaction to them and go back to them with a critical eye.

Just take it slow and remember, you don't need to accept a dom that isn't willing to work with you.  Do expect to have your limits pushed at some point and communication is the key.

Psy

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to simplewhispers)
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