RE: Posting a Profile on Vanilla Websites (Full Version)

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losttreasure -> RE: Posting a Profile on Vanilla Websites (2/13/2007 4:19:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MastersChild

I've been contemplating posting a profile that subtly and tactfully hints at the darker side of me on a vanilla dating website.  Has anyone tried this?  If so, what kinds of results did you get?


I've come across a few doms from here on vanilla sites... I found it interesting because their advertisements on the vanilla sites didn't give any indication as to their dominant nature.  It's not hard for a male... expressions such as traditional, strong, commanding presence, masculine, etc. are all indicative of the dominant nature.

It's been quite some time ago, but I did have my profile on a vanilla site or two.  In fact, it didn't read too much different from the one I have here.  In the same respect, women can easily allude to their submissive nature by playing up words such as soft, demure, and feminine, and listing the "dominant" attributes I've noted above as what they are seeking.

Of course, neither of these examples allude to kink.  But you can always make an "innocent" comment that you are an adventurous lover.  [;)]

Edited cause I can't type as fast as I can think.



MastersChild -> RE: Posting a Profile on Vanilla Websites (2/13/2007 4:19:47 PM)

Great idea...will have to figure out a new one.



GeekyGirl -> RE: Posting a Profile on Vanilla Websites (2/13/2007 4:24:31 PM)

I don't see the point in alluding. Being straightfoward worked for me.



DominantEngineer -> RE: Posting a Profile on Vanilla Websites (2/13/2007 4:24:58 PM)

I started eharmony before I remembered this site. Believe it or not I have had more fradulaent contacts through eHarmony than here. But to their credit they yank thoes people when reported and apologize. Match is even worse but the fraudlent bitches are easier to spot. True is just out for money. They automatically send winks for you and sucker you into thinking someone is interested in you. The fraudulent girls on here are so easy to spot it is not funny.

And yes I have made more contacts through CM than all sites listed above, combined. $280 for nothing.



abytchgoddess4u -> RE: Posting a Profile on Vanilla Websites (2/13/2007 4:26:02 PM)

I have the exact same ad on Lava as I do on here, never had a problem. In fact, I get MORE response on there! lol

However, I have tried to submit it to other sites in the past and been unsuccessful...I didn't fit their "image".



lapresence -> RE: Posting a Profile on Vanilla Websites (2/13/2007 4:57:18 PM)

Masters Child,
 
I don't know if people would precisely call Adultfriendfinder vanilla.....  But Sir found me on AFF, and I am so thankful.  I received much more attention on that site than its counter-part: alt. 
 
But I would say, go for it!  Nothing to lose and everything to gain.  Good luck.  [:)] 
 
presence



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Posting a Profile on Vanilla Websites (2/13/2007 5:01:08 PM)

I met a few sub males when I was loing on the AOL dating (before it becasme Match) and a few of the other vanilla sites.  I never did stay long on them, though, I got lots of interest form people I didnt find myself having much in common with.

Ive done far better on here than I ever did on the "vanilla" sites

DV



mstrjx -> RE: Posting a Profile on Vanilla Websites (2/13/2007 5:06:11 PM)

Even before I was in the Lifestyle, I had my own personal measuring stick.  Using D/s terms to help it along it went something like this:

In the next 20 times you have sex with your partner, how many of those ideally would have some sort of power exchange or kink dynamic to it?  My answer (to myself) was always at LEAST 19 of those times.

Flirting with the vanilla public seems to me, in a sense, questioning your resolve to your interests.  Now, I understand from the OP that that is probably not the case, she is looking for an actual Dom who might not hang around a place like this.  I just don't think I could do that.

Maybe to me it is the 'time' element.  If you meet someone you are interested in who seems like they want to give this a try, with you, swell.  But after a while it seems too intense, too hokey, too this or that, and their little experiment is over.  That's time.  Time you won't get back.

In the last 16 years the only time I even had a sniff of a vanilla evening was when I invited a work-mate to my home.  It was my intention to explain myself, and see what happened.  Yes, she ended up in bondage and a grand time was had by all.  We didn't end up in a relationship (for mostly all the right reasons), but it was the closest thing to being with someone who didn't already know what they wanted and what I can provide.

But, the streak prevailed.  16 years and counting.

Jeff



GeekyGirl -> RE: Posting a Profile on Vanilla Websites (2/13/2007 5:10:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx



Flirting with the vanilla public seems to me, in a sense, questioning your resolve to your interests. 


For me, it was more just wanting to throw out as many opportunities as possible. I stated specifically that I was looking for a D/s partner, so I don't see how it equates to questioning your resolve to your interests.



windchymes -> RE: Posting a Profile on Vanilla Websites (2/13/2007 5:19:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

My daddy was on e harmony, and they actually said there was nobody on the site that macthed his personality and what he was looking for.
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

I think eHarmony is probably very, very "vanilla" - it was started by an ex-preacher. I could be wrong, though - I don't know anyone who has tried it on there who is bdsm oriented. Good luck wherever you post it, though.

- Susan 



That's probably a compliment, lol[;)]



AquaticSub -> RE: Posting a Profile on Vanilla Websites (2/13/2007 5:21:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx


Flirting with the vanilla public seems to me, in a sense, questioning your resolve to your interests.  Now, I understand from the OP that that is probably not the case, she is looking for an actual Dom who might not hang around a place like this.  I just don't think I could do that.


This sentiment doesn't make sense to me. My dominant and I met in a very vanilla way. Not everyone realizes that they are a dominant or knows how much they would enjoy BDSM if exposed to it. I refused to limit my search to people who were already experienced in what I wanted. I just limited it by people who didn't have an interest in it when I brought it up.



mstrjx -> RE: Posting a Profile on Vanilla Websites (2/13/2007 5:35:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx


Flirting with the vanilla public seems to me, in a sense, questioning your resolve to your interests.  Now, I understand from the OP that that is probably not the case, she is looking for an actual Dom who might not hang around a place like this.  I just don't think I could do that.


This sentiment doesn't make sense to me. My dominant and I met in a very vanilla way. Not everyone realizes that they are a dominant or knows how much they would enjoy BDSM if exposed to it. I refused to limit my search to people who were already experienced in what I wanted. I just limited it by people who didn't have an interest in it when I brought it up.


I was fortunate to examine myself and my needs and desires at a relatively young, but mature, age (30).  I never looked back at the type of person who I wanted to be with.

All I'm saying is that I have an appreciation for people who have come to a similar understanding.  Their experience might not be vast, but once they have acknowledged their inclination, the rest falls into place.

It is my choice is that I won't try and meet people in a grocery store, or on a plane, or in any other place where the lines haven't already been clearly drawn.  Does that limit choices?  Too late to worry about that.

Jeff



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Posting a Profile on Vanilla Websites (2/13/2007 6:03:46 PM)

I usually choose websites that I can post exactly what I wish, text-wise. My myspace and LJ profiles are almost identical to this one. Yahoo Personals wouldn't let me. AFF did. With much filtering, I met really decent men that I still have relationships with from both myspace and AFF. As far as others, I simply don't want to advertise in places where I'd attract vanilla men...mostly because they're wanting to hook-up 'cause I'm "exciting" and "exotic" for them. I'm not here to be their entertainment. Oh, and match.com said my personality was bitchy and controlling. LMAO

Master Fire



VeryMercurial -> RE: Posting a Profile on Vanilla Websites (2/13/2007 8:06:48 PM)

Actually I met a sweet submissive on a vanilla dating website.
I dropped many hints in profile, and was very upfront about my lifestyle.
Many vanilla people are only a few steps away from this lifestyle.
So far so good with me.



MDJour -> RE: Posting a Profile on Vanilla Websites (2/13/2007 9:20:25 PM)

I've tried in the past, but the protacal blunders posed insurmountable problems. Take courage and try it though...  you the old saying, " never say never"
Best of luck, MV



kc692 -> RE: Posting a Profile on Vanilla Websites (2/13/2007 9:22:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lapresence

Masters Child,
 
I don't know if people would precisely call Adultfriendfinder vanilla.....  But Sir found me on AFF, and I am so thankful.  I received much more attention on that site than its counter-part: alt. 
 
But I would say, go for it!  Nothing to lose and everything to gain.  Good luck.  [:)] 
 
presence

I agree, I am a non paying member there, but moderate a 300+ local member group for monthly meet and greets.  They have "alternative activities" on the profile choices, and I am also a member of the topical group there called BDSM and more.   I believe they are very open to the idea, and bdsm issues are freely discussed in that forum I mentioned.



lapresence -> RE: Posting a Profile on Vanilla Websites (2/13/2007 10:37:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

quote:


I agree, I am a non paying member there, but moderate a 300+ local member group for monthly meet and greets.  They have "alternative activities" on the profile choices, and I am also a member of the topical group there called BDSM and more.   I believe they are very open to the idea, and bdsm issues are freely discussed in that forum I mentioned.


Now that is dangerous to know....  I have a feeling I might be joining.  If not your particular local list, I might have to find a few others to haunt.  And Alabama isn't so far from Georgia, afterall.  Message boards are addicting....   [:D]  Thanks for this information. 
 
presence



ElectraGlide -> RE: Posting a Profile on Vanilla Websites (2/13/2007 10:44:06 PM)

I have seen the term non-vanilla used on Myspace. Assertive is a good word to use.



fusion -> RE: Posting a Profile on Vanilla Websites (2/13/2007 10:46:05 PM)

Hello I have lost my mail on here.  I have asked you many times to chat.  You need look no farther Fusion



freyjasdottir -> RE: Posting a Profile on Vanilla Websites (2/14/2007 2:13:32 AM)

Actually I did once see someone on POF that did point blank list BDSM as one of his interests on his profile.



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