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Slaves and this forum. - 2/11/2007 1:13:24 PM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		To make a bit more serious version of another tread here.

What level of control do a Dominant or Master wish to ahve over his submissive/slave`s use of the internet and forums like theese inparticular? i can for exsample see why some Dominants might have a slaves is to be seen not heard attitude and not wish them to post, while others belive this is a good learning ground. Thos post is not meant as judgement, but just as a place to discuss this.

Personaly i am aloved to do what i want online aslong as i am polite, and that includes this forum, witch i do learn alot from. Though Master is a bit sceptic, he is considering taken me of the board for a while so we can develop our own relationship whitout being influenced by others so we can get the D/s relationship he and i want to have, not the one member x on this forum belive is a good one, i often get a bit carried avay and a bit to awed by advice, but eept for that he thinks it is good i am active at forums.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Slaves and this forum. - 2/11/2007 1:14:56 PM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		nephandi do you just want Doms and Masters answers on this?

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.


~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Slaves and this forum. - 2/11/2007 1:19:08 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I will more or less repeat what I had said.
Ange is alowed to post wherever he sees fit. I do not worry about my authority being shaken over what he may read or write here.  If he wishes to argue a point, hold an opinion or seek out advice, he is more than welcome to. I might consider limiting his access if he were seeking advice and following that more closely than he was my commands but thats about it. I firmly believe that having access to other opinions and ideas makes someone a better sub, not a worse one. Excercising their ability to speak their minds does not make them insubordinate. The one rule I believe is that you must be polite and you may not make personal attacks. Should that happen, I will make sure he is restricted, becasue he is a reflection of me at all times. But since I do enjoy his opinions and personality, restricting and hoping to deaden it so that I have more ease of authority would be cunter productive.

I do feel a bit bad, though, for Dominants who are so insecure in their control that they se forums as a threat.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Slaves and this forum. - 2/11/2007 1:20:53 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Are you kidding?  Well, I can't understand why anyone would really care what anyone else posts.  I will say that some of the posts have given me some things to think about, some of them have made me laugh and some of them have left me speechless, but NONE of them has had any effect on how I live my life or conduct a relationship.

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Slaves and this forum. - 2/11/2007 1:21:22 PM   
HydroMaster


Posts: 4786
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		Well, I don't imagine this will stay serious for long.  But my personal view is that social isolation isn't healthy for anyone.  So no, I would not limit a subs interactions in the forums.  I would like to discuss what she read and talked about but that's about it.

(in reply to cjenny)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Slaves and this forum. - 2/11/2007 1:24:06 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		In my relationship, I have a really good idea of the behavior that is expected of me and I conform to it both on-line and off-line.  There have not been specific rules laid out for posting on the forums other than "do it".  There has only been one post where I have crossed the line of what he thought appropriate; he told me he didn't like it and not to do it again.  My natural behavior is so inline with his expectations that few rules have been established.  Most often he just corrects the things he doesn't like.

There are times when a thread will get somewhat heated and he will tell me to stay out of it and there have been certain people that he has told me to ignore (not block, just don't respond to them).  I will often run posts by him before submitting them just to make sure that he approves of them.  Mostly he lets me post what I want as long as I stay within the boundaries of appropriate behavior.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Slaves and this forum. - 2/11/2007 1:30:29 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		The ideas of "level of control" and "allowing to participate" are two different topics. I control whether or not my girl participates in the forums. I allow her to participate as she wishes because I trust her to be an adult and to give and take good advice. she chooses, however, to no participate, mainly because writing is low on her communication tools. she prefers face-to-face, so she spends most of her time working in her local community. But, I have it in my Manual (and thus our contract) that I expect her to participate in the community. Thus, I control her participation.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Slaves and this forum. - 2/11/2007 1:32:31 PM   
MistressDoMe


Posts: 295
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline 		As a Mistress, I would control my slaves time online, especially on this site.
I would permit the slave to come here, but I would monitor what the slave said.
Also, my slave would not have the time to be on here for hours every day, they would be too busy
serving me.

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Slaves and this forum. - 2/11/2007 1:33:25 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

Are you kidding?  Well, I can't understand why anyone would really care what anyone else posts.  I will say that some of the posts have given me some things to think about, some of them have made me laugh and some of them have left me speechless, but NONE of them has had any effect on how I live my life or conduct a relationship.


Yep.  If I let posts on this group influence what I do in a relationship - good grief, what a nightmare.
Maybe then it would be time to shut down the computer.

To the OP, my dom would no more care about my online participation than he would care what novel I'm reading this week.  It is not relevant to our relationship.

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Slaves and this forum. - 2/11/2007 1:34:02 PM   
mbes


Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline 		I'd run like hell from a dominant who thought isolation was a good thing, but that's just me.
I think mine is just grateful if I use up some of the millions of words I'm compelled to say on a daily basis someplace other than into his ear.

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Slaves and this forum. - 2/11/2007 1:34:48 PM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		No, no by all means, anyone is welcome to answer.

Thank you all for your answer and i hope i have not opend a can of worms, my intention was not to cause trubble, it was only to have some nice conversation on the topic.

(in reply to cjenny)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Slaves and this forum. - 2/11/2007 1:38:02 PM   
taintedgypsy


Posts: 228
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline 		In the early days, my Sir encouraged my participation on here as a way of learning and expressing ideas, He and I would discuss things and these boards were benificial. The only problem He had was with me going to fast to soon and he paced my interaction with some limits. I was new to L/s and was like a sponge lol.

As I stated in the less serious thread, if anything lack of participation in these boards has some part in my present troubles. My life spirialled down into a small sphere of isolation.

I view these boards as with most things in life, moderation is a good thing, too much of anything can be bad, but stagnation of the mind is terrible and his forum for the most part is a place of thoughts, ideas and glimpses of other peoples ways of dealing with issues within L/s. It can be a great help to the new, the lost, the confused and place of reflection and banter between like minds. It is also a place of great humor at times and laughter is good for the soul.

More power to the boards lol

warm smiles to all

(in reply to HydroMaster)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Slaves and this forum. - 2/11/2007 1:39:20 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		That's pretty much what I think, Mary.  It's just not pertinent to a relationship.  I know some people come here with problems and I often think that they should just talk to the other half of the relationship and, sometimes, I think that's just what they want to hear.  But to actually have any of this influence me?  Yup, shut this baby down for good.

(in reply to MaryT)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Slaves and this forum. - 2/11/2007 1:42:42 PM   
sleazybutterfly


Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		Master doesn't mind me being on here at all.  I have never had him tell me not to post, or I shouldn't have said something.  I know that he sometimes reads my posts, but I haven't noticed that changing my opinions on any matter.

I am an adult, and he knows I will conduct myself as one.  I am not a child that needs watched over to make sure she is behaving.  I think if I were, Master would smack me upside the head and tell me to grow up.

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Slaves and this forum. - 2/11/2007 1:43:40 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		well all of my internet activity is monitored by my Master, and i am also restricted as to what internet sites i can visit (all but a handful of sites are actually blocked and i'd need a password to access them). i'm encouraged to come here and interact with others on the forums and in the chatrooms because i live a fairly isolated life with no face-to-face friends outside of my Master, and no social life of my own so here i have the opportunity to express myself, learn about others' ways, etc. but of course i am to conduct myself in a certain way, even online, and i try to live up to that. years ago, i found myself sharing the wrong thing in the wrong place, and my Master banned me from a website or two because of it. but since then he has not had issue with any of my online activity.

it does disturb me a bit when i see some, particularly those who call themselves slaves, posting in a way that you know no Master could possibly approve of...sharing embarassing personal details, asking questions to strangers that they have not yet asked to the one who owns them, blatantly defying a demand (such as saying they are not allowed to post yet posting and asking the world what they think about such a rule), just clearly disrespecting their Master. it makes me hope that the Masters who claim them are paying attention.

(in reply to MaryT)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Slaves and this forum. - 2/11/2007 1:48:34 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

nephandi
To make a bit more serious version of another tread here.

What level of control do a Dominant or Master wish to ahve over his submissive/slave`s use of the internet and forums like theese inparticular? i can for exsample see why some Dominants might have a slaves is to be seen not heard attitude and not wish them to post, while others belive this is a good learning ground. Thos post is not meant as judgement, but just as a place to discuss this.

Personaly i am aloved to do what i want online aslong as i am polite, and that includes this forum, witch i do learn alot from. Though Master is a bit sceptic, he is considering taken me of the board for a while so we can develop our own relationship whitout being influenced by others so we can get the D/s relationship he and i want to have, not the one member x on this forum belive is a good one, i often get a bit carried avay and a bit to awed by advice, but eept for that he thinks it is good i am active at forums.


Though Ima bit of a sceptic as well, I alove my sub to enjoy a tread ot two out here as well. I ahve respect for her judgement. I get "eept" (don't really know what this means but I found that it is as equally as much fun to type as it is to say) when she sees theese posts.  ....Don't like it when she's avay, aslong as she doesn't go whitout calling for to long...there are exsamples of the lifestyle witch alot of people are taken too seriously....I have no idea, personally, what any of this meant.  But I hope it helps.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 2/11/2007 2:04:29 PM >

_____________________________



(in reply to HydroMaster)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Slaves and this forum. - 2/11/2007 1:52:34 PM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		That wasn't very nice... I have an idea... maybe only nice people can use forums?



_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.


~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Slaves and this forum. - 2/11/2007 1:54:43 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Seems to be a reasonable rule....Goodbye cruel world!

< Message edited by domiguy -- 2/11/2007 1:59:48 PM >

_____________________________



(in reply to cjenny)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Slaves and this forum. - 2/11/2007 2:04:41 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

Are you kidding?  Well, I can't understand why anyone would really care what anyone else posts.  I will say that some of the posts have given me some things to think about, some of them have made me laugh and some of them have left me speechless, but NONE of them has had any effect on how I live my life or conduct a relationship.


Yep.  If I let posts on this group influence what I do in a relationship - good grief, what a nightmare.
Maybe then it would be time to shut down the computer.

To the OP, my dom would no more care about my online participation than he would care what novel I'm reading this week.  It is not relevant to our relationship.



There are people who post here that do influence me and have caused me to grow.  However, the decision to allow them to influence me was a conscious decision made to improve myself.  I take good ideas that add to my personal growth no matter where they may come from, even a work of fiction.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to MaryT)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Slaves and this forum. - 2/11/2007 2:06:47 PM   
BlindDescent


Posts: 113
Joined: 9/26/2006
Status: offline 		I am influenced by all things that I interact with...choosing to alter my behavior or philosophy is another matter entirely. As to the points of controlling interactions...
I feel that if one is controlled to the point of being restricted from interactions or communications, then the controller must be pretty insecure in his/her ability or capacity to keep the attention focused in a positive manner. I've always felt that if someone wanted that restrictive and unilaterally focused relationship; buy a dog. But then again they would have to decide if it was to be chained to a tree, or allowed to go on a walk and catch a sniff now and then.
So much of the anguish spoken here relates  to:
1. Did the two of you clearly enter into an honestly stated relationship?
2. Did it change after time?
3. Did it change against one person's wishes or expectations?
4. Did you have any contingency for discussion?
5.. WTF are you gonna do about now that it isn't what you thought it would be?

< Message edited by BlindDescent -- 2/11/2007 2:08:56 PM >

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 20
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