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Generalisations and trying to find the answers to why w... - 2/10/2007 8:07:07 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
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Ok I have notised soo many thread with sweeping generalisations and assumptions and trying to pin one way that we are on another...

Such as are submissives all depresed or does bipoler contribute to beieng a sub... why are so many subs over waight or why do so many Dommes smoke. Does beeing abused make you want to be in BDSM

Why do we feel the need to box ourselvs in or find the answers to what makes us what we are. The answers arent going to be the same for everyone there isnt going to be anything that is a direct cause or result just like not all people with HIV are gay it just doesnt work like that.

I dont feel beeing bipoler or over waight are at all the reasons Im a sub they are all part of who I am but none of them are cause and effect.

Magik's slave

< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 2/10/2007 8:41:59 PM >

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

Post #: 1

RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to w... - 2/10/2007 8:13:48 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

Boxing YOU in makes a little person feel better about themselves. Admiting you are a tiny insignificant person in a great big world is VERY scary for some people.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 2

RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to w... - 2/10/2007 8:14:40 PM

ToServeIsToLive

Posts: 222
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

It's because although the human brain has the capacity for fuzzy logic all people on this site are only capable of thinking in all or nothing terms.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 3

RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to w... - 2/10/2007 8:17:39 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

yeah... It just gets annoying sometimes.. and I wonder why people are totaly incapable of doing simple math.. if 60% of all people are overwaight then chances are 60% of BDSMers will be if 50% smoke 50% of BDSMers most likely will same thing with the depretion the numbers have a tendensy of carrying over.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to ToServeIsToLive)

Post #: 4

RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to w... - 2/10/2007 8:19:09 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I think that some people have honest questions and they are not assuming anything. I am interested in the neurology of depressed subs v ones that are not and subspace... but no one has completely determined exactly what subspace is, and one day when we know this, well we can answer the other questions.

I would not worry about what other people think. Try to inform people that are ignorant about mental illness, but like my Daddy says, you can lead a person to knowledge but you cannot make them think.. you cannot change everyone's mind, and they have the right to believe whatever they like... even if their beliefs are completely wrong.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 5

RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to w... - 2/10/2007 8:27:45 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Damnit...my dyslexia and your bad spelling had me thinking thids thread was gonna be about gerbils.

People are who they are and humans are prone to classify. Is it right? Dunno. Is it handy? Very, usually. Every living organism on the planet has a unique name, for example.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 6

RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to w... - 2/10/2007 8:30:11 PM

Meerkad

Posts: 19
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline

People want to "understand" and believe they have a handle on things. They also like having "truths" to believe in.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 7

RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to w... - 2/10/2007 8:32:58 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Damnit...my dyslexia and your bad spelling had me thinking thids thread was gonna be about gerbils.

Master Fire

Yeah it is the cutest typo of the month. What exactly would "gerbalization" look like?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 8

RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to w... - 2/10/2007 8:36:48 PM

asubmissiveheart

Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline

Because many people have superiority complexes and the only way many people can feel good about themselves is putting
other people down, and being the authority on everything.
Many of these same people, can not respect differences or differences in opinion.
It is their way, or the highway.
Often they are Know-It-Alls, I deal with people like this all the time.
It is like a disease.
Most of them are pompous, arrogant assholes, learn to ignore the know-it-alls.
They seem to know everything when it comes to everyone else, if you look at their lives, often they are fucked up.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 9

RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to w... - 2/10/2007 8:37:12 PM

Meerkad

Posts: 19
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline

I'm sure that somewhere some fur types already know.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 10

RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to w... - 2/10/2007 8:39:27 PM

ElectraGlide

Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline

I hate to say this if you generalize in a post, it gets a huge rapid fire reaction of responses. It might seem like flaming, but you will get all points of views the fastest way.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 11

RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to w... - 2/10/2007 8:40:35 PM

redwall2001962

Posts: 28
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline

I just want to please my LOVER what's wrong with that?

_____________________________

If possible, you should help others.
If that is not possible, at least you should do no harm.

From the book How to practice The way to a Meaningful Life.
His Holiness the Dali Lama

(in reply to Meerkad)

Post #: 12

RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to w... - 2/10/2007 8:41:15 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

Meerkad

I'm sure that somewhere some fur types already know.

I forgot about the Furries amongst us!

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 2/10/2007 8:42:02 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to asubmissiveheart)

Post #: 13

RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to w... - 2/10/2007 8:41:50 PM

Meerkad

Posts: 19
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline

Open ended questions help too...don't they?

(in reply to ElectraGlide)

Post #: 14

RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to w... - 2/10/2007 9:11:38 PM

SmokingGun82

Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline

It's the same reason some people believe in a god/goddess/etcetera... the idea of true random is terrifying. Being an insignificant and meaningless speck that will exist only for what amounts to a fraction of a blink of an eye is hard.

Being the result of a perfect plan, loved by the creator of all things, and, more significantly, important to them, is comforting to some people.

In the same manner saying "I don't choose to be this way (this way being anything)" is a nice, easy way to justify something in your own mind.

Generalizations make things easier to relate to. "We're all created in the same image." "All white's are evil." "Immigrants are evil." They're simple concepts to grasp. The reality of situations is usually a lot more complicated
.
I'm not saying everyone does this- or that I've never tried to shirk responsibility for who and what I am- or that generalizations are always bad... just my thoughts on the subject.

_____________________________

It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
- Bob Dylan

Proper capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

(in reply to Meerkad)

Post #: 15

RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to w... - 2/10/2007 9:55:17 PM

JustAslave2007

Posts: 11
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline

Generalizations are feeble-minded thinking.

(in reply to SmokingGun82)

Post #: 16

RE: Generalisations and trying to find the answers to w... - 2/11/2007 6:52:46 AM

Squeakers

Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline

       I've have read that people who are sexually abused, sometimes do get into BD/SM.    A great amount of sexual abuse is inflicted on a child and most of the time it is inflicted by someone they care about and trust.    If a child is abused in this manner, it alters their way of thinking.   They have experienced love through pain and being controlled by another.    At times, when a child is sexual abused they still adore and love their abuser.   Because they have not hit the maturity to level to understand sex, they simply can not comprehend that what is happening to them is not an act of love.   Yes, there is a nagging part of them which leads them to believe that what is happening is not right but the blame often falls on the victim not the abuser.    The childs mind simply does not think like an adult, therefore it alters how they see things.   With that said, it makes sense that an abused child would be drawn to this lifestyle as an adult.
       Does that mean that every single submissive was sexual abuse?   Of course not.
       I think the reason that these assumptions are made is because often times, people make certain things known.   I was sexually abused as a child,   I have bi-polar, I have depression, I am overweight, I smoke.    In the minds of society these things are negative and for many they state the negatives up front in this lifestyle.
   That makes sense especially online and the main objective is to find real time.    Eventually, it's going to come out that a person smokes, is over weight or has some sort of emotional or mental health issues.    By stating this issue up front, they are discourage those who have an aversion to smokers or overweight people or whatever.
      The mind set of our society is that EVERYONE finds, skinny people, non smokers, and mentally healthy people a plus.   Because this is appealing most do not choose to disclose this information because based on society it's not an issue.   How many profiles does one see that says, I am perfectly built, a non smoker and have no mental issues?    Yes we see them but I don't think as often as we see the negative ones.
       Because the negatives are disclosed far more often, it makes sense for people to think---the majority of submissives are overweight, depressed smokers.    Is this a truth, no not at all but it's considered a truth based on what people see.
        It is my belief that in this lifestyle, there is a diverse mixture of people.    It is also my belief that for some regardless if they have been sexually abused, or have an emotional issue or are overweight, they would have been lead to the lifestyle without these peoples.    I believe this simply because it could be that people might assume that a negative in my own life may have lead me into this lifestyle and I believe that my journey has been a positive experience and if I were to admit that the negative in my life lead me to this lifestyle, I would be admitting that this lifestyle is in fact a negative---I simply can not do that.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 17

RE: Generalizations and trying to find the answers to w... - 2/11/2007 7:35:32 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

Is it hypocritical or naiveté to post against generalizations while posting in other threads that its "impossible for anyone to..." fill in the blank? You know, focusing your life on Master/Mistress happiness, not needing outside diversion, need time for oneself, require "down-time"?

Generally, you can generalize without even realizing it until its pointed out.
Generally, when its pointed out you can get defensive, especially when you've tried to hard to built a reputation as accepting to all.
Generally people are comfortable with their generalizations and use them to rationalize something about their lives.
Generally, you can always learn and grow out of naiveté.
Generally, eliminating hypocrisy requires more than empathy.
Generally, one of the most amusing aspects of CM is how few, if any, 'accepted' generalizations are accurate reflections of off-line relationships and interaction.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 2/11/2007 7:41:15 AM >

(in reply to Squeakers)

Post #: 18

RE: Generalizations and trying to find the answers to w... - 2/11/2007 7:38:22 AM

SimplyMichael

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Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Generally, one of the most amusing aspects of CM is how few, if any, 'accepted' generalizations are accurate reflections off-line relationships and interaction.

Your politics really suck but other than that, you guys just say the best shit!

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 19

RE: Generalizations and trying to find the answers to w... - 2/11/2007 7:42:30 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

Sometimes to understand ourselves better we find it helpful to understand others and see if we can find some common ground. Every so often in the threads here i read someones post and think 'bingo, thats how i feel and thats probably why too.' Hearing there are others out there like me / us as in regards to bi polar, being overweight etc can be a comfort at times.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 20

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