Generalisations and trying to find the answers to why we are what we are (Full Version)

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MagiksSlave -> Generalisations and trying to find the answers to why we are what we are (2/10/2007 8:07:07 PM)

Ok I have notised soo many thread with sweeping generalisations and assumptions and trying to pin one way that we are on another...

Such as are submissives all depresed or does bipoler contribute to beieng a sub... why are so many subs over waight or why do so many Dommes smoke. Does beeing abused make you want to be in BDSM

Why do we feel the need to box ourselvs in or find the answers to what makes us what we are. The answers arent going to be the same for everyone there isnt going to be anything that is a direct cause or result just like not all people with HIV are gay it just doesnt work like that.

I dont feel beeing bipoler or over waight are at all the reasons Im a sub they are all part of who I am but none of them are cause and effect.

Magik's slave



SimplyMichael -> RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to why we are what we are (2/10/2007 8:13:48 PM)

Boxing YOU in makes a little person feel better about themselves.  Admiting you are a tiny insignificant person in a great big world is VERY scary for some people.



ToServeIsToLive -> RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to why we are what we are (2/10/2007 8:14:40 PM)

It's because although the human brain has the capacity for fuzzy logic all people on this site are only capable of thinking in all or nothing terms.



MagiksSlave -> RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to why we are what we are (2/10/2007 8:17:39 PM)

yeah... It just gets annoying sometimes.. and I wonder why people are totaly incapable of doing simple math.. if 60% of all people are overwaight then chances are 60% of BDSMers will be if 50% smoke 50% of BDSMers most likely will same thing with the depretion the numbers have a tendensy of carrying over.


Magik's slave



juliaoceania -> RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to why we are what we are (2/10/2007 8:19:09 PM)

I think that some people have honest questions and they are not assuming anything. I am interested in the neurology of depressed subs v ones that are not and subspace... but no one has completely determined exactly what subspace is, and one day when we know this, well we can answer the other questions.

I would not worry about what other people think. Try to inform people that are ignorant about mental illness, but like my Daddy says, you can lead a person to knowledge but you cannot make them think.. you cannot change everyone's mind, and they have the right to believe whatever they like... even if their beliefs are completely wrong.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to why we are what we are (2/10/2007 8:27:45 PM)

Damnit...my dyslexia and your bad spelling had me thinking thids thread was gonna be about gerbils.

People are who they are and humans are prone to classify. Is it right? Dunno. Is it handy? Very, usually. Every living organism on the planet has a unique name, for example.

Master Fire



Meerkad -> RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to why we are what we are (2/10/2007 8:30:11 PM)

People want to "understand" and believe they have a handle on things. They also like having "truths" to believe in.



juliaoceania -> RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to why we are what we are (2/10/2007 8:32:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Damnit...my dyslexia and your bad spelling had me thinking thids thread was gonna be about gerbils.


Master Fire



Yeah it is the cutest typo of the month. What exactly would "gerbalization" look like?



asubmissiveheart -> RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to why we are what we are (2/10/2007 8:36:48 PM)

Because many people have superiority complexes and the only way many people can feel good about themselves is putting
other people down, and being the authority on everything.
Many of these same people, can not respect differences or differences in opinion.
It is their way, or the highway.
Often they are Know-It-Alls, I deal with people like this all the time.
It is like a disease. 
Most of them are pompous, arrogant assholes, learn to ignore the know-it-alls.
They seem to know everything when it comes to everyone else, if you look at their lives, often they are fucked up.



Meerkad -> RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to why we are what we are (2/10/2007 8:37:12 PM)

I'm sure that somewhere some fur types already know.



ElectraGlide -> RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to why we are what we are (2/10/2007 8:39:27 PM)

I hate to say this if you generalize in a post, it gets a huge rapid fire reaction of responses. It might seem like flaming, but you will get all points of views the fastest way.



redwall2001962 -> RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to why we are what we are (2/10/2007 8:40:35 PM)

I just want to please my LOVER what's wrong with that?



juliaoceania -> RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to why we are what we are (2/10/2007 8:41:15 PM)

quote:

Meerkad

I'm sure that somewhere some fur types already know.


I forgot about the Furries amongst us!



Meerkad -> RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to why we are what we are (2/10/2007 8:41:50 PM)

Open ended questions help too...don't they?



SmokingGun82 -> RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to why we are what we are (2/10/2007 9:11:38 PM)

It's the same reason some people believe in a god/goddess/etcetera... the idea of true random is terrifying. Being an insignificant and meaningless speck that will exist only for what amounts to a fraction of a blink of an eye is hard.

Being the result of a perfect plan, loved by the creator of all things, and, more significantly, important to them, is comforting to some people.

In the same manner saying "I don't choose to be this way (this way being anything)" is a nice, easy way to justify something in your own mind.

Generalizations make things easier to relate to. "We're all created in the same image." "All white's are evil." "Immigrants are evil." They're simple concepts to grasp. The reality of situations is usually a lot more complicated
.
I'm not saying everyone does this- or that I've never tried to shirk responsibility for who and what I am- or that generalizations are always bad... just my thoughts on the subject.



JustAslave2007 -> RE: Geberalisations and trying to find the answers to why we are what we are (2/10/2007 9:55:17 PM)

Generalizations are feeble-minded thinking.



Squeakers -> RE: Generalisations and trying to find the answers to why we are what we are (2/11/2007 6:52:46 AM)

       I've have read that people who are sexually abused, sometimes do get into BD/SM.    A great amount of sexual abuse is inflicted on a child and most of the time it is inflicted by someone they care about and trust.    If a child is abused in this manner, it alters their way of thinking.   They have experienced love through pain and being controlled by another.    At times, when a child is sexual abused they still adore and love their abuser.   Because they have not hit the maturity to level to understand sex, they simply can not comprehend that what is happening to them is not an act of love.   Yes, there is a nagging part of them which leads them to believe that what is happening is not right but the blame often falls on the victim not the abuser.    The childs mind simply does not think like an adult, therefore it alters how they see things.   With that said, it makes sense that an abused child would be drawn to this lifestyle as an adult.   
       Does that mean that every single submissive was sexual abuse?   Of course not.  
       I think the reason that these assumptions are made is because often times, people make certain things known.   I was sexually abused as a child,   I have bi-polar, I have depression, I am overweight, I smoke.    In the minds of society these things are negative and for many they state the negatives up front in this lifestyle.   
   That makes sense especially online and the main objective is to find real time.    Eventually, it's going to come out that a person smokes, is over weight or has some sort of emotional or mental health issues.    By stating this issue up front, they are discourage those who have an aversion to smokers or overweight people or whatever.   
      The mind set of our society is that EVERYONE finds, skinny people, non smokers, and mentally healthy people a plus.   Because this is appealing most do not choose to disclose this information because based on society it's not an issue.   How many profiles does one see that says, I am perfectly built, a non smoker and have no mental issues?    Yes we see them but I don't think as often as we see the negative ones.    
       Because the negatives are disclosed far more often, it makes sense for people to think---the majority of submissives are overweight, depressed smokers.    Is this a truth, no not at all but it's considered a truth based on what people see.
        It is my belief that in this lifestyle, there is a diverse mixture of people.    It is also my belief that for some regardless if they have been sexually abused, or have an emotional issue or are overweight, they would have been lead to the lifestyle without these peoples.    I believe this simply because it could be that people might assume that a negative in my own life may have lead me into this lifestyle and I believe that my journey has been a positive experience and if I were to admit that the negative in my life lead me to this lifestyle, I would be admitting that this lifestyle is in fact a negative---I simply can not do that.           



Mercnbeth -> RE: Generalizations and trying to find the answers to why we are what we are (2/11/2007 7:35:32 AM)

Is it hypocritical or naiveté to post against generalizations while posting in other threads that its "impossible for anyone to..." fill in the blank? You know, focusing your life on Master/Mistress happiness, not needing outside diversion, need time for oneself, require "down-time"?

Generally, you can generalize without even realizing it until its pointed out.
Generally, when its pointed out you can get defensive, especially when you've tried to hard to built a reputation as accepting to all.
Generally people are comfortable with their generalizations and use them to rationalize something about their lives.
Generally, you can always learn and grow out of naiveté.
Generally, eliminating hypocrisy requires more than empathy.
Generally, one of the most amusing aspects of CM is how few, if any, 'accepted' generalizations are accurate reflections of off-line relationships and interaction.



SimplyMichael -> RE: Generalizations and trying to find the answers to why we are what we are (2/11/2007 7:38:22 AM)

quote:

Generally, one of the most amusing aspects of CM is how few, if any, 'accepted' generalizations are accurate reflections off-line relationships and interaction.


Your politics really suck but other than that, you guys just say the best shit! 



missturbation -> RE: Generalizations and trying to find the answers to why we are what we are (2/11/2007 7:42:30 AM)

Sometimes to understand ourselves better we find it helpful to understand others and see if we can find some common ground. Every so often in the threads here i read someones post and think 'bingo, thats how i feel and thats probably why too.' Hearing there are others out there like me / us as in regards to bi polar, being overweight etc can be a comfort at times.  



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