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RE: Paradoxes of personality - 2/10/2007 5:18:42 PM

cjenny

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Psst I am pretty sure he was making a joke... but then again I have had trouble ALL day here interpreting sarcasm hahahaha. Bah. I do tho, think that he was joking.

edit!!
Oops, I meant to add this. I think that if a person stays in one online setting for a length of time, the general personality traits will emerge no matter what engineering is done by the user.

< Message edited by cjenny -- 2/10/2007 5:20:06 PM >

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Post #: 21

RE: Paradoxes of personality - 2/10/2007 5:24:18 PM

puella

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I think you are right, jenny (in terms of the second bit, added in the edit). I also thinks it takes a commitment to wanting the truth of a person as opposed to the best that works for you in a person, to find that.

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Post #: 22

RE: Paradoxes of personality - 2/10/2007 5:26:01 PM

cjenny

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quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

I think you are right, jenny (in terms of the second bit, added in the edit). I also thinks it takes a commitment to wanting the truth of a person as opposed to the best that works for you in a person, to find that.

Obtuse person here... I don't get the last half of that. After the first using of 'person'.

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Post #: 23

RE: Paradoxes of personality - 2/10/2007 5:31:46 PM

puella

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Sorry, I should have used a bracket of ' ' s to demonstrate better.

I think that sometimes it is much easier for us to find what we want to find in a person, rather than find what we can if we dig beneath that veneer.

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Post #: 24

RE: Paradoxes of personality - 2/10/2007 7:53:38 PM

DarkDreams123

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Joined: 1/25/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

Sorry, I should have used a bracket of ' ' s to demonstrate better.

I think that sometimes it is much easier for us to find what we want to find in a person, rather than find what we can if we dig beneath that veneer.

Puella,

I think you may be right, that we often see what we want to see: whether it is in others or in situations, or whatever. However, I think that is somewhat off the subject.

The question is how can a person appear to have opposite personality traits.

Now I'm not a psychologist, but I have done some reading about people and relationships and such. It is my opinion that a person's basic personality traits are largely genetic. Of course they are shaped somewhat by one's life experiences, but unless there is some kind of catastrophic event, that shaping is minor.

The thing is, we humans really are quite complex beings. We may have some latent personality traits that we ourselves are not fully aware of until the right set of circumstances bring them out.

We also have the ability to assume a 'role' when we wish, but this is usually only a temporary situation.

I think what confuses the issue is that our behavior can vary depending on who we are with and what the circumstances are.

However, behavior and fundamental personality traits are not the same thing.

What do you think?

-DarkDreams

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 25

RE: Paradoxes of personality - 2/10/2007 8:00:51 PM

juliaoceania

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quote:

Further thought is do we behave differently online than we do in real life? So for instance in real life i may be shy but online due to the anonymity i may be outgoing.
Do you see differences in your personality online and off?

Slightly different. I like to laugh, and sometimes I do not think that this translates on the internet, especially when I reply to many threads that have a serious nature.

I am outgoing, and even when I feel shy I will push myself not to act like I am. I was pretty shy as a kid at times. Basically I get described as passionate, and intelligent in the real world... I sometimes question how I come off on the internet, and then I realize I really do not care all that much

. I care about people, but their opinions of me are not going to sway my attitude about myself... kinda like I am in real life too. I have a level of self confidence too, and I earned that so I will keep it no matter what anyone else's opinion is.

Did I even answer the question? Damn I think I am tired and should quit posting for the night

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Post #: 26

RE: Paradoxes of personality - 2/10/2007 8:06:05 PM

puella

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I think I would warn you not to heed my words too closely.

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Post #: 27

RE: Paradoxes of personality - 2/10/2007 8:23:19 PM

thompsonx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

I notice (how observant of me) that you have some inherent problem with my avatar pic. I chose it for a very specific reason, which is rather personal, and would gladly tell you if you wish to send me an email without sarcasm or out right rudeness. However, my guess is that that will not happen, as you just enjoy taking cheep pot shots for no apparent reason.

Which of course, is a choice you may exercise.

out.

puella:
I like all of your pics and I have already told you which one got my attention.
I am the same on line as in person...what you see is what you get.
thompson

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Post #: 28

RE: Paradoxes of personality - 2/10/2007 10:53:31 PM

Zensee

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It has a lot to do with the people context. I had a blue collar job and radical, artsy friends. To my out-there friends I was a conservative, 9 to 5 guy but to my co workers I was an artsy, leftist, intellectual. (That didn't stop them electing me shop steward for seven years running.)

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Post #: 29

RE: Paradoxes of personality - 2/11/2007 4:25:00 AM

puella

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Sorry for my initial pert reply to your thoughtful comment, I believe I was falling asleep at the time.

I will take a moment to more fully digest what you said later today.

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Post #: 30

RE: Paradoxes of personality - 2/11/2007 4:53:46 AM

NorthernGent

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Joined: 7/10/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Lady E's thread on 'what makes me wonderful' set me thinking about personalities and their paradoxes. Whilst one person may describe me as shy, another may say im outgoing. Whilst one person describes me as innocent another says i am a shameless tease and so on.
This leads me to ask :-
Do we all have paradoxical personalities?
Can you be for example shy and outgoing at the same time?
Or is it all in how people percieve us and their perceptions of what outgoing or shy is?
Edited to add:- Further thought is do we behave differently online than we do in real life?
So for instance in real life i may be shy but online due to the anonymity i may be outgoing.
Do you see differences in your personality online and off?

Not in terms of behaviour. Away from this board, I'm no more shy, retiring and candid with my views than I am on this message board. What you see is pretty much what you get. There is a balance between tact, respect and stating your opinion and these are all considerations of mine regardless of the communication tool.

In terms of idiosyncracies, yes, it is possible to be self-conscious and outgoing. We all are self-conscious to varying degrees, it's the nature of human frailty. The difference is, some people let this hang 'round their necks and it becomes serious emotional baggage, leading to being shy and retiring in public. Others control it and do not allow it to become a barrier to interaction.

In terms of really understanding a person, you need to spend an awful lot of time with him/her. I have an idea what/how some people on this board would be like in person, but I wouldn't be overly surprised if they turned out to be nothing like what I have in my mind.

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Post #: 31

RE: Paradoxes of personality - 2/11/2007 5:11:18 AM

Aileen68

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I'm actually quite shy and prefer to be alone in real life.
I don't think that's how I come across online.
I do have a sarcastic streak that runs through all facets of my personality.
And I'm only an online exhibitionist. I dress very conservatively in real life...blue jeans and t-shirts.

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 32

RE: Paradoxes of personality - 2/11/2007 5:25:50 AM

thompsonx

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Aileen68:
Sarcastic??? OMG I thought it was dry wit, color me gobsmacked.

BTW how about adding some of those pics of you in jeans and Ts.
thompson

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Post #: 33

RE: Paradoxes of personality - 2/11/2007 5:52:46 AM

missturbation

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Ya little tart

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Post #: 34

RE: Paradoxes of personality - 2/11/2007 7:34:12 AM

Wildfleurs

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Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Lady E's thread on 'what makes me wonderful' set me thinking about personalities and their paradoxes. Whilst one person may describe me as shy, another may say im outgoing. Whilst one person describes me as innocent another says i am a shameless tease and so on.
This leads me to ask :-
Do we all have paradoxical personalities?
Can you be for example shy and outgoing at the same time?
Or is it all in how people percieve us and their perceptions of what outgoing or shy is?
Edited to add:- Further thought is do we behave differently online than we do in real life?
So for instance in real life i may be shy but online due to the anonymity i may be outgoing.
Do you see differences in your personality online and off?

I think we all do. I think what people percieve our personality to be can be different than what people who are very close to you see your personality as being. My family has a particular perception of my personality that is a little bit different than my owner despite them both being very close to me. I'd say the largest paradox in describing my personality would probably be with people who just know me socially or are acquaintences and my family who knows really my core personality.

In general socially in real life I think I'm percieved a certain way (outgoing, friendly, and typically confused with being a dominant). Online I have no idea how I'm percieved although I think in general I come accross a bit more stilted in my typing, I think its because I don't use a lot of emoticons and I tend to be a literal person. The funniest thing I remember is being at Black Rose years ago and running into a woman that knew me from a local dungeon chat room who said something to do effect of thinking I was mean and I replied that I didn't even remember who she was.

C~

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Post #: 35

RE: Paradoxes of personality - 2/11/2007 9:44:44 AM

thompsonx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Ya little tart

missturbation:
It takes one to know one

.
thompson

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Post #: 36

RE: Paradoxes of personality - 2/11/2007 9:46:57 AM

missturbation

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I'm gonna let you have that one today!!
Tomorrow may be different depending on which paradox of my personality i care to show lol.

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What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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Post #: 37

RE: Paradoxes of personality - 2/11/2007 10:09:48 AM

thompsonx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

I'm gonna let you have that one today!!
Tomorrow may be different depending on which paradox of my personality i care to show lol.

missturbation:
If possible I would like to see the one with the red corset and the seamed nylons with the 4" pumps.
thompson

< Message edited by thompsonx -- 2/11/2007 10:10:45 AM >

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Post #: 38

RE: Paradoxes of personality - 2/11/2007 10:14:23 AM

sensualmagirl

Posts: 1065
Joined: 7/4/2006
From: Boston, MA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Lady E's thread on 'what makes me wonderful' set me thinking about personalities and their paradoxes. Whilst one person may describe me as shy, another may say im outgoing. Whilst one person describes me as innocent another says i am a shameless tease and so on.
This leads me to ask :-
Do we all have paradoxical personalities?
Can you be for example shy and outgoing at the same time?
Or is it all in how people percieve us and their perceptions of what outgoing or shy is?
Edited to add:- Further thought is do we behave differently online than we do in real life?
So for instance in real life i may be shy but online due to the anonymity i may be outgoing.
Do you see differences in your personality online and off?

Yes, I entirely see differences in my personality. In person, especially with new people I meet, I am very shy, almost painfully so. Once I get to know someone, I warm up a bit and let my sassy/sarcastic/playful personality come through a bit more and am a lot more outgoing... The people that are closest to me (i.e., my lovers) see me at my outgoing best.

Online, it still takes me a little bit of a "warm up" before I can feel more comfortable to adjust and open up. But, once I do, I let more of my inner self out, than I would every day in RL... and it feels good for me.

I think for perceptions, I come across at first as shy and modest. Little old ladies love to chit-chat with me in stores, others don't even notice me, I blend into the background (which I very much prefer... usually walk without looking at people, quite frankly... said I was painfully shy). But, apparently, I've got one of those "looks" where strangers seem to feel comfortable asking me questions, reveal their crazy stories, or ask me to reach an item on the top shelf (well, that could be because I'm 5' 9" tall... ha ha ha).

So, paradoxes in personality? Definitely with me... I've done a pretty good job keeping my poly, BDSM, and other sexual choices out of question from my "vanilla" friends... They all think I'm an angel... muah ha ha ha

edited to add that I came to the conclusion that maybe it simply depends on the audience as to what side of a personality they get to see. I am in essence, shy to the core, friendly, but shy and reserved. However, deep down, I'm very outgoing. So, it depends on how "safe" I feel in order to bring that outgoing side of me out. Online = safe... Really good friends and lovers = safe.

< Message edited by sensualmagirl -- 2/11/2007 10:34:11 AM >

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Post #: 39

RE: Paradoxes of personality - 2/11/2007 11:27:08 AM

missturbation

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quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

I'm gonna let you have that one today!!
Tomorrow may be different depending on which paradox of my personality i care to show lol.

well luckily for you the corset, stocking, heel wearing part of my personality is always a constant

missturbation:
If possible I would like to see the one with the red corset and the seamed nylons with the 4" pumps.
thompson

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to thompsonx)

Post #: 40

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