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RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 7:22:36 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

And Sir Kenin, you have also aired your "stuff" on here as much as anyone else.. nothing wrong with that mind you. But I know about your reconciliation, that fell through, and now you are seeing someone new. Just as you know I work out, eating South Beach, am a masochist, and have experienced a few deaths in my family...smiles.

I thought the same when I read the OP... He or someone with his name and profile go through regular bouts of major drama with life, wife, health, girlfriend, who dominates whom, etc... It would appear some folks were born with an incredible ability to criticize others but utter befuddlement when it comes to looking at the man in the mirror. M

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""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 21

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 7:24:20 AM

rascallymisty

Posts: 123
Joined: 8/1/2006
Status: offline

Most welcome and best of luck to you either way. We all have to do and be what is right for us.......not what others think we should do or be. ~smiles~

~ misty ~
{opps ....my disclaimer...that is my opionon only and what is right for me.}

(in reply to cjenny)

Post #: 22

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 7:27:24 AM

MissyRane

Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline

I don't "bare" my entire life ou there I think there's way too much drama often here. Some things I don't think are for anyone else to know than me and my most closest family or my bestest friend. Do I live my entire life out on a forum? No I don't actually I've stopped coming here daily like I used to lol. Could I live without a forum altogether? definitely!!!! Do I post my thoughts on a blog? nope I don't think it's of anybodies business, would I do it if I had a blog..I would perhaps write about the top of the icing but nothing more than that. If I'm in troubles and I've no idea who to ask or if I just need to rant but don't find it comfortable calling a friend or talkin to family I pick a person I'm not too familiar to but still kind of know and talk to the person privately but no that happens very rarely actually.
I think that many people reveal themselves a bit too much online nowadays

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 23

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 7:30:54 AM

Lorelei115

Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline

~Fast Reply~

Could I live without the forums? Of course. But I would miss all the great friends I have made here.

I honestly don't think I reveal every detail of my life to the people here, either. (If I do, someone let me know so I can stop boring you all to death LOL) I generally share personal details where and when I think they will have an impact, such as when someone says "Has anyone else experienced this or am I all alone???"

As with anything else on the forums, if it bugs you, move on.

*shrug*

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A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 24

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 7:32:27 AM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
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I don't look at exposing my life as baring drama to the internet, only because my life is really boring. I don't work & I've no social life lol. What I really end up saying online is how I feel about things & how I physically feel.
Neither of those things can be said to my family or the people I actually know..so it gets put somewhere online. None of it is so secret or dramatic that I worry about reprecussions, I wouldn't type it if it were. I probably would not do it if I had UMs either.

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(in reply to MissyRane)

Post #: 25

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 7:44:41 AM

WyrdRich

Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline

Could I live without some sort of outlet like these forums provide? Nope. I would eventually explode and likely take a bunch of people with me.

As for baring all the details of my life, hardly. I might discuss a personal issue that has some bearing on the topic, or is troubling me, but I'm basically a private person.

(in reply to Lorelei115)

Post #: 26

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 8:06:10 AM

adaddysgirl

Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline

i don't know how much different it could be than those who go to play parties, bdsm clubs, dungeons, etc where people are physically exposing themselves to people they don't even know or know very little. i mean, to me, that is much more of a personal exposure than this venue will ever be.

So let's see....i've heard of demos consisting of naked subs being tied to a cross and whipped, then brought to some kind of orgasm....in front of complete strangers. Or how about the demo on enemas? i mean, if we're going to talk about exposing our personal lives to complete strangers, we might want to take a look around to other venues much more 'baring' than this.

i guess people in 'the lifestyle' expose themselves in many different ways...emotionally, mentally, physically....because finding someone in RL that we can express ourselves to in these ways outside of the 'community' is quite rare.

This is the first forum i have ever posted on (outside of a couple of yahoo groups that i belonged to some time ago...but it was somewhat different). i don't NEED the forums....but i certainly have learned quite a bit about how diverse people....while sharing a common bond....can be. Pretty interesting place, if ya ask me.

Edited to add: i wonder if those heavily involved in the 'public scene' could live without that type of interaction?

DG

< Message edited by adaddysgirl -- 2/10/2007 8:08:08 AM >

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 27

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 8:50:23 AM

petdave

Posts: 2479
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin
People seek "advice" on a forum for everything from wiping their ass to their family life and finances, and everything in between. It is like they have no shame or sense of privacy. It is like they can not function unless they get advice from a dozen different people. Some things I can understand, but telling everyone all your mental troubles? Or asking what to make your boyfriend for supper? Really?

While there certainly are drama queens who seem to need help with every aspect of their lives, i think that in reality there are very few of them... they just leave an impression because they post a LOT. Others will ask for advice on random trivial subjects like what to make for dinner because they're bored and want to start a conversation, much as people in RL situations will comment on the weather.

As far as sincerely asking for help on personal matters... i guess if you want to look at it that way, i have no shred of pride left. While there is a degree of anonymity on the 'net, and anything you post is far more subject to random peanut gallery intervention than RL conversations, the depth and breadth of knowledge on a specialized forum of 1000+ people is by no means trivial. If you are, say, a submissive masochist who suffers from depression, and have an issue that you feel is heavily influenced by these particular aspects of your self, you could attend dozens of real-time munches before establishing the types of friendships that would get you meaningful advice from people in your same situation. You could spend thousands of dollars on therapists who understand only the theory of what you're discussing. Or you could find a place like this, and be able to interact with dozens of others who have "been there, done that".

i spend a lot of time on different forums for various things, primarily hobby boards where people can share knowledge and experience in working on vehicles and other hands-on projects. While i could obviously live without them, i think they're one of the most valuable resources that the Internet has provided.

...dave

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 28

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 8:53:17 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I am a forum junkie. This is one of a few message boards that I visit. This is by far the one with the most drama and dysfunctional people, but I sort of enjoy that. It makes me feel good about my little, boring life. I appreciate people who expose their lives and relationships in a genuine fashion, there is much that can learned and it helps me broaden my thinking (which is important to me). As far as the drama and "look at me me me" types, I find it amusing.

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(in reply to petdave)

Post #: 29

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 10:01:32 AM

LadyIce

Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

I certainly could live without these forums. But I love to read message boards and also read a lot of them elsewhere.
It is always the same, they have message boards on every topic. I just love to read.
I will admit, I don't read 70% of the threads, they just don't interest me.
I don't feel forced or compelled to read everything here, I read what I want, and ignore a lot of ranting and dribble.
Forums are what you make them.

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 30

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 1:51:27 PM

SirKenin

Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline

I have really enjoyed reading all the posts so far. I am finding them very insightful to say the least. In specific I would like to address this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

And Sir Kenin, you have also aired your "stuff" on here as much as anyone else.. nothing wrong with that mind you. But I know about your reconciliation, that fell through, and now you are seeing someone new. Just as you know I work out, eating South Beach, am a masochist, and have experienced a few deaths in my family...smiles.

Yes, I do share personal details, but in a specific context. A plethora of experiences have made up my life to present. While many of them have been nasty, I believe they all serve a point. Not only do they presumably make me a better person, they enable me to help someone else who is going through the same thing, albeit in my cold-hearted, sociopathic style (mwahahaha). As such, I will reveal the details as necessary to back up what I am saying. I do believe the exception to the rule was the reconciliation attempt if my memory serves me correctly.

As for living without forums? Nah. I relish internet communications. I get bored and I like interacting with people. I also find forums a good resource for practical information, like techniques and computer info, depending on the forum

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Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 31

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 2:08:53 PM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline

I don't think I can live without a forum. I was addicted to a game for a long time that was mind boggingly simple, but revolved around forums. It was a role play, so baring my life and soul wasn't really the grab. I'm not sure what was the grab.

I discovered this forum because I was using the other side and once I did I was able to quit the game. Its like methadone to me. :)

*begins to nervously pick at the skin of her arm*

You're not thinking of taking it away, are you?

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“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 32

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 3:00:40 PM

hot1

Posts: 455
Joined: 5/4/2004
From: Ontario Canada
Status: offline

I am new to this forum..but have been on others...am on lists and a lot of people have my phone number, address and emails and know that is then need an ear or anythign else and is possible for me to help..I am there.

That is me...that is the way I have lived my entire life. I share nothing here that I do would not in real life. I have had a rough life, I try to never regret anything or never say if I could just go back and change that. For if I did, I would not be where I am at today...I like who I am today. At the same time, I would hate to see anyone go through something that I did if I could stop it. If I say something that offends a thousand people that gives me shit about it.....if it helps just one person..the thousand doesnt' matter.

just my 2 cents....tis the way I have chosen to live

beth

_____________________________

come on guys...give the blond a break
Please Don't Confuse The Blond

(in reply to gypsygrl)

Post #: 33

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 3:05:54 PM

losttreasure

Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

So how about you? Do you have any shred of pride left? Do you bare your entire life out on a forum? And if so, why? And if not, could you live without a forum altogether or are you here for the same reason I am, to interact and pick up some good ideas?

I would hate to think that in reality we are all so shallow and one-dimensional that the tidbits of information that we share here accounts for the entirety of our lives.

And no... I reveal very little of myself here. Of course I could live without a forum... for the majority of my life so far, no such thing existed. That doesn't mean that I don't enjoy the priviledge of interaction that is now available.

_____________________________

Just because it isn't "all about me", doesn't make it "all about you".

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 34

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 3:12:54 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

I have been on forums a long time, and I have noticed a consistent trend. People have to bare their entire lives out for everyone to see. I see the same trend on blogs as well.

People seek "advice" on a forum for everything from wiping their ass to their family life and finances, and everything in between. It is like they have no shame or sense of privacy. It is like they can not function unless they get advice from a dozen different people. Some things I can understand, but telling everyone all your mental troubles? Or asking what to make your boyfriend for supper? Really?

So how about you? Do you have any shred of pride left? Do you bare your entire life out on a forum? And if so, why? And if not, could you live without a forum altogether or are you here for the same reason I am, to interact and pick up some good ideas?

What ever happened to the puppy?

Akasha

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(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 35

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 3:29:09 PM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

I have been on forums a long time, and I have noticed a consistent trend. People have to bare their entire lives out for everyone to see. I see the same trend on blogs as well.

People seek "advice" on a forum for everything from wiping their ass to their family life and finances, and everything in between. It is like they have no shame or sense of privacy. It is like they can not function unless they get advice from a dozen different people. Some things I can understand, but telling everyone all your mental troubles? Or asking what to make your boyfriend for supper? Really?

So how about you? Do you have any shred of pride left? Do you bare your entire life out on a forum? And if so, why? And if not, could you live without a forum altogether or are you here for the same reason I am, to interact and pick up some good ideas?

Talk about a false gross generalization.

Almost all people do not put their entire life on this or any other message board. I mean really, truly think of your own life on a day to day basis and then put it on people on this board. I know you would find out that you do not know anyone on here at all but maybe some specific areas.

People read and participate on message boards for various reasons. For some opening up and looking for advice to problems that they are afraid to open and ask to a friend or family member, to share information on their life with specifics to this lifestyle because this is a place they can share it and for other tons of reasons.

Do I sometimes roll my eyes when someone gets super sappy about their one or answers everything in a sappy, overly simplistic and/or third person tone, sure. I also sometimes get jealous of them as I have always had a problem in sharing my feeling with people both real and cyber life and would love to inform the world of how great my Master is.

To me though, I think it is wonderful that you can read things from all types of people in different roles, genders, races, economical statuses, emotional ranges and anything else. What makes one post or poster better? What makes anyone think they know if a post or a poster has or has not helped or contributed to help specifically just one person or just contributed in keeping the board active and entertaining.

To me this is just a more detailed and slightly smarter way of complaining that this message board should only have threads and posts the way you like them.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 36

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 4:11:52 PM

meatcleaver

Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

I can live without the forum but not while I have to work at my computer because the forum are a distraction I sorely need, though if I ignored the forum I would get my work done ten times as fast. When I have finished my current project I won't be around as much but I think at some level the forum is a good way of releasing tension. I mainly post in the 'off topic' but occasionally venture to other parts of the forum but I guess at one level it is therapy and like WyrdRich, it stops me from going outside and blowing a few small enemies away. I'm not sure anyone would recognize my life from the few things I disclose about myself on line, which I guess are out of context with them being in isolation, my life is far more complex.

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(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 37

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 4:15:49 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

Whenever I post something in the "serious" and not comical forums, I do so because I have questions about certain topics. Sometimes I find myself in need of hearing from others who have been through something similar... who better to be able to offer advice than one that has gone through the experience?

Placing personal information about myself is not such a big deal to me. I have talked openly about my sobriety and my mental issues... what's the problem with that? I mean it isn't like I am not open (to a point) about those issues in real life and besides, if it would happen that I would find someone from these boards that I would get into a relationship with, they will find out anyway so why not discuss things of that sort?

I do not believe that in any open forum be it a knitting message board to a computer technical board to a BDSM board that it can be avoided that some element of the humans that post there will be revealed in some way or another. I could live without this forum because I did fine without it before I got here but now that I am here I have developed a bond with a good deal of the people that post here and that kind of makes it a cyber home.

People will be people and the basic fact is that you do not have to like everyone, but you should respect their rights to express themselves in whatever fashion (within the rules) they wish.

< Message edited by Gauge -- 2/10/2007 4:18:17 PM >

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I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 38

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 4:44:24 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

I am a very private person and don't find it easy to open up....However that doesn't stop me from randomly sending out cock shots.

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(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 39

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/11/2007 12:56:20 AM

Solinear

Posts: 283
Joined: 1/8/2007
Status: offline

Considering the fact that a total of *three* people on this site have actually ever met me and I have only chatted at any length with four (including the three that I have met), I would say that I'm exposing almost nothing of *myself*. Not that I expose much of anything on here anyway, but the fact remains that, other than an image (which could probably be mistaken for potentially hundreds of other people in the world), almost nobody on here knows who 'I' even am.

People ask advice because it *is* semi anonymous and they don't know everything. I can get advice on finance from a banker, I can get advice on what to cook from a chef, I can get mental health advice from a psychologist.... all without paying a single red cent (outside of my internet bill, which my employer pays for, so I'm still not paying anytyhing). If anything, if you really need some advice about something and don't ask for it, that would be as stupid as trying to take your own appendix out when you can just go to someone who knows about it... you know, a doctor.

That being said, I tried doing without the forums for a week and almost died of heart failure before I crawled to the computer and posted something again.

Next stupid question...

(in reply to cjenny)

Post #: 40

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