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Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 4:51:42 AM

SirKenin

Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline

I have been on forums a long time, and I have noticed a consistent trend. People have to bare their entire lives out for everyone to see. I see the same trend on blogs as well.

People seek "advice" on a forum for everything from wiping their ass to their family life and finances, and everything in between. It is like they have no shame or sense of privacy. It is like they can not function unless they get advice from a dozen different people. Some things I can understand, but telling everyone all your mental troubles? Or asking what to make your boyfriend for supper? Really?

So how about you? Do you have any shred of pride left? Do you bare your entire life out on a forum? And if so, why? And if not, could you live without a forum altogether or are you here for the same reason I am, to interact and pick up some good ideas?

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

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Post #: 1

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 4:58:49 AM

sleazybutterfly

Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline

I do share private parts of my life with others on here. I usually only do so when I feel like it might help someone in the same situation, if I feel it won't..I don't see any reason to go into it.

When I first came on, I did ask advice for a lot of things, but I was very new and really didn't have any friends to talk to about things. Now I more pick and choose what I want to ask based on if I feel someone with the same experience can give me advice better than my friends could. There are some private things that those in my life don't know about, so coming on here with "strangers" is a bit easier for me.

I can live without it though, have done it before when no internet, but I do enjoy being here when I can.

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 2

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 4:59:14 AM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

I do say things in my online journal or in a forum that I would not normally say in RL. Yes, I expose much more of myself.
It is easier to type it and leave it out for a stranger to read than have someone that is actually involved in my life read. The X... I can close it out and go away if I need to.
Of course I can live without a forum. This is actually the first one that I have interacted with so it would be easy to walk away. I don't think I could walk away from my online journal though.

Basic answer? Yes I can live without a forum but I really like the fact that they are available, that I can be anonymous. *okayokay, anonymous to a degree since my real pic is posted lol*

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.

~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 3

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 5:07:37 AM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

I'm not about to air ~all~ my dirty laundry in real time or the net. But I will share some when I see a similar experiance comes up with another in hopes that they can gain something from my experiance. Just as I have other's who have shared things I found myself facing and had fears, questions, or conserns. Mostly I come here out of habit now if the truth be told.

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to cjenny)

Post #: 4

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 5:08:20 AM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline

I definitely don't tell my entire life on a forum, though I do see the trend you speak of. I'm not one to bare it all to any but a very select few. I will give some pieces in the context of asking or answering a question, but only so much. I just can't share that much of me with strangers and what I do share is difficult to do. As to living without a forum, while I'm here to interact and learn, I'm not always here. I'd miss it but can still basically take it or leave it when it comes right down to it.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to cjenny)

Post #: 5

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 5:13:39 AM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

Yes.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to SweetSarijane)

Post #: 6

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 6:23:43 AM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I have shared some parts of my life, but not all...and will never do so. I can live without forums, but I cannot live without the wonderful friends I have made here.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

(in reply to feastie)

Post #: 7

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 6:36:20 AM

rascallymisty

Posts: 123
Joined: 8/1/2006
Status: offline

i do not share anything about myself here on the forums, but i do share with friends on the other side. i could live without the forums but i am glad they are here.

~ misty ~

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 8

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 6:49:37 AM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

I must be really opposite then, it is so much easier for me to tell strangers things than to tell someone I physically know. I don't just mean kinky stuff I can't tell my nilla friends.. just all of it really. I don't like RL anyone seeing when I hurt so badly I curl into a ball of pain yet I am okay typing that out.
I find for the most part that strangers are less judgemental. For the most part..because it really does depend on the topic lol.

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.

~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to rascallymisty)

Post #: 9

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 6:52:14 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

To the OP:

People that have followed my posts know me better then casual aquaintences. I do so here, because I trust the format. The moderators even tho they seem rule driven at times- do a good job. [thank you mods! :-)]

I have gotten a TON of useful advice here. I find that no where else.

Our collective minds could light up downtown Cleveland for a month!

CM folks ROCK!

Note of thanks to the mods-

(in reply to rascallymisty)

Post #: 10

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 6:53:32 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

It also amazes me some of the things people say here. Things they would never say in person.
The net is not annonymous. In fact a good hacker can know everything about the person doing the talking in no time.

As far as I go myself. I do tell things about myself but rarely. The other day I was accused in a thread of voicing my opinion and not agreeing with the person asking the question. It made me laugh when I saw it...I had not even lended my views to the thread at all.
Generally I am concise and to the point which usually leaves people scratching their heads.

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 11

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 7:01:55 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I survived quite well without a forum for 44 years, I am certain I could walk away from it quite easily.

While I blab alot, it is far from spilling my guts or giving total open view into my real life. Mostly because my real life is far too mundane and boring. Plus there is the fact that I have a close circle of friends that expect me to keep their business private and I respect that, it's why we are friends. It is a curious mixture, I am quite open here (in as much as I deem safe to do and without being a bore or drama queen) and in real life with my personal stuff when asked about it yet I protect those I care about. It is a balance.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 12

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 7:02:14 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

It also amazes me some of the things people say here. Things they would never say in person.
The net is not annonymous. In fact a good hacker can know everything about the person doing the talking in no time.

As far as I go myself. I do tell things about myself but rarely. The other day I was accused in a thread of voicing my opinion and not agreeing with the person asking the question. It made me laugh when I saw it...I had not even lended my views to the thread at all.
Generally I am concise and to the point which usually leaves people scratching their heads.

Im hoping a hacker doesnt find my 3 swiss bank accounts. ;-0

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 13

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 7:03:00 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

Fora like these I believe, fulfill a valuable role for all, in that they allow us the sort of opportunity we might usually only get from a confessor, doctor, lawyer or therapist; to discuss and disclose things that in real life, we are not able to discuss and disclose with family, friends and so on. Its not truly anonymous in that most of us do have our photos and locations in our profiles, but then are any of the other anonymous situations previously mentioned truly anonymous either? We have only the trust that our confessor, doctor, lawyer or therapist wont reveal us either, after all, and they have much more identifying information about us than anyone sane would post to a forum.

We can discuss and disclose things here that we might not reveal to any professional even. And since in the main no one here has any interest, in the sense of being affected by, in the life and doings of the rest, we can do so freely. It is not going to affect me in any way, if x reveals that he likes nylons, nor if y reveals that she has a thing for scat, for instance - I dont know these people or their families and so can comment more neutrally than any professional who after all, may well know the spouse, family and friends and more of x and y. That neutrality also means I dont have to worry too much about sugar coating responses - not that that means its OK to be hostile and nasty to anyone, but that I can comment with true neutrality in a way that even friends cannot, because a friend will always be worried about how the friendship will be affected when responding.

The added bonus of these particular boards, given the membership, is that we have a massive resource of knowledge, experience and information on the one thing that brings the membership together. This is invaluable to all of us, as none of us have seen it all! As well as being a learning resource though, the fora also give us the opportunity to educate others, which is one of those inner reward sort of things, but I believe is what plays just as important a part in keeping us all here.

And on top of that, we also become like friends, in a world where there is so much individuation and consequent isolation. We have had the net for less than two decades now, so this internet friendship is very new in the field of human friendship models, and its something that is still evolving. We have friends all over the world, whom we have never met, and in all likelihood will never meet. Its similar to the old pen pals thing, but with the net, we can have hundreds of pen pals, even thousands. This also makes the fora invaluable, even with the downsides of possible misinterpretation of what we say in what is a text only format, and the possibility of some being less than honest, playing us all for fools and worse.

Can I live without a forum? Yes, as thats what I did once before. Would I like to live without a forum? No, because of all the above.

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 14

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 7:03:28 AM

Real0ne

Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

To the OP:

People that have followed my posts know me better then casual aquaintences. I do so here, because I trust the format. The moderators even tho they seem rule driven at times- do a good job. [thank you mods! :-)]

I have gotten a TON of useful advice here. I find that no where else.

Our collective minds could light up downtown Cleveland for a month!

CM folks ROCK!

Note of thanks to the mods-

i woudl agree with "some" mods" LOL

i dont remember ever asking personal advice on any forum.

_____________________________

"We the Borg" of the us imperialists....resistance is futile

Democracy; The 'People' voted on 'which' amendment?

Yesterdays tinfoil is today's reality!

"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session

(in reply to pahunkboy)

Post #: 15

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 7:08:24 AM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

Lady Ellen I have to say that I am envious of the way you seem to effortlessly post what I so struggle to attempt but fail to post!

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.

~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to Real0ne)

Post #: 16

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 7:12:17 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

So how about you? Do you have any shred of pride left? Do you bare your entire life out on a forum? And if so, why? And if not, could you live without a forum altogether or are you here for the same reason I am, to interact and pick up some good ideas?

I can live without forums.

I do not bare my entire life here

I do enjoy interacting with people that know about my relationship structure and can identify with

I have do not talk about my present difficulties, like divorces, child rearing difficulties, or family meltdowns. If I bring it up I do not want advice. You all are lovely people, but I get advice from my Dom and friends, and my Dom's advice is the only advice I feel compelled to respond to. He knows far more about me than you all do.

And Sir Kenin, you have also aired your "stuff" on here as much as anyone else.. nothing wrong with that mind you. But I know about your reconciliation, that fell through, and now you are seeing someone new. Just as you know I work out, eating South Beach, am a masochist, and have experienced a few deaths in my family...smiles.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 17

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 7:14:48 AM

rascallymisty

Posts: 123
Joined: 8/1/2006
Status: offline

cjenny,
i use to be that way also. ~smiles~ After my divorce i learned to open up to those close to me. For me its either they accept me for who i am or they don't. ~smiles~ If they do not, i see it more as their loss than mine. I was surprised how many accepted me more once i opened up. I am sure this is not right for everyone, but it was right for me.

~ misty ~

(in reply to cjenny)

Post #: 18

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 7:17:14 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Lady E, very well written. You are a whiz with a keyboard.

Ill give anyone $10 who places a 3 way call to me, and any friend or family member I posted about here.

offer expires at midnight. ET [new york time]

If you succeed- I can paypal you, or send a check-

(in reply to cjenny)

Post #: 19

RE: Can you live without a forum? - 2/10/2007 7:18:16 AM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rascallymisty

cjenny,
i use to be that way also. ~smiles~ After my divorce i learned to open up to those close to me. For me its either they accept me for who i am or they don't. ~smiles~ If they do not, i see it more as their loss than mine. I was surprised how many accepted me more once i opened up. I am sure this is not right for everyone, but it was right for me.

~ misty ~

It is very hard for me, to open myself with people I know. I do not know if that will ever change or not, but I am getting past some of my shyness. Sorta lol. Thanks misty :)

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.

~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to rascallymisty)

Post #: 20

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