Negativity

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Devilslilsister -> Negativity (1/27/2007 8:10:41 AM)
Aye, i'm on a roll today. Its what happens when you lay in bed for an hour just musing in your head wondering what you're going to get up to and your brain starts to think about collarme. THAT and treating yourself with a glass of pepsi first thing in the morning. mmmmmmmmmmmmm pepsi! i am a negative person! Who else is a negative person? Stand up, raise your hand....... For those of you recovered negativity addicts please take a moment and teach us all the road to recovery. No matter how great my life goes i am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. i at times, look for that other shoe and i do end up musing "is this the shoe.. is it, is it" Which of course does me no good. Sometimes i have been known to try and ferret out the shoe. Which of course can piss people off in my life, but hey i'd rather find the shoe then it find me. I hate suprises. But anyways, i would like to cure myself of this negitve attitude i can have towards life. I generally follow the motto "hope for the best and plan for the worst" Which sort of soothes my beast. Yet on the whole, when things arise it does me no good. My first thought is always a negative thought about the issue and yes i do self talk - but it doesnt always work. So while this is probably terribly written, i'm sure all you recovered negativity addicts know precisely what i mean. Any advice for the rest of us?

juliaoceania -> RE: Negativity (1/27/2007 8:22:48 AM)
I guess when I was going through my depression I was negative, but that is not my natural state of being. I would just rather look at the good things about me. It just makes me feel better than concentrating on what I do not want. I lead a pretty charmed life really.

aSlavesLife -> RE: Negativity (1/27/2007 8:29:07 AM)
I don't see myself as negative, but rather as an optimistic pessimist. The glass is half full... and someone probably poisoned it.

szobras -> RE: Negativity (1/27/2007 8:30:22 AM)
Graditude

michaels4evr -> RE: Negativity (1/27/2007 8:37:57 AM)
i'm a recoving negative person. most of the people who have only known me for the past five or ten years can't believe that i used to be a Beeoytch, as they often comment on my sunny, almost-pollyanna-like attitude these days. however, my high school friends probably wouldn't recognize me today. it literally was a decision for me, not really a process. i decided that i was tired of being negative about everything and simply try to look on the sunnyside of life. i think i annoy some people more now than i did when i was kujo in heels. but its working for me. the things i always griped about not being able to find, have, or keep, i have managed to attract to me once i stopped projecting bad karma into the world. i trained with a Dominant for a few years and one thing that definately helped purge the negativity was the positive affirmation i was made to recite into my reflection each and every morning and night. He felt that much of my negativity stemmed from a deeply rooted belief that i did not actually deserve goodness in my life. The affirmation helped to rewire my thought process and thankfully i am healed. good luck to you.

bandit25 -> RE: Negativity (1/27/2007 8:57:42 AM)
Are you really negative or just realistic. I always thought that I was negative until I realized that I just want to make sure I have ALL the facts...good ones as well as the bad ones. I like making informed decisions.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Negativity (1/27/2007 9:10:57 AM)
I am not a negative person, persay. I do see the worst possible outcomes of things before I see the best ones. I see disasters where there arent any and I worry myself over little things. However, when it comes to more involved or important aspects, I am positive about success and my abilities. So, maybe I am negative-lite? DV

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Negativity (1/27/2007 9:48:55 AM)
For you? I'd recommend, as I always have, long term therapy with someone you sincerely trust and who is quite competent. You're issues are too deep and embedded to be dealt with on a cyber forum.

tricia -> RE: Negativity (1/27/2007 10:14:04 AM)
Negativity sounds so - negative. I don't like to think of myself in that way. It reminds me of someone who always walks around with a frown on their face ready to suck the joy out of someone elses happiness - and that isn't me. With that being said and while i don't have the perfect word to describe it - I live very much the same way. Whether it's a job i love, a relationship i cherish, going a whole entire week without worrying about something - For me, it's never about "will it end," but how, why, and when it will end. I learned alot in my stint in therapy - but this aspect of myself goes unanswered. If i had to guess, i would say it comes from packing up all my hopes and dreams so many times only to have to put them back on the shelf again. From watching good things go bad so many times for no good reason. On a positive note - I try to cherish small things. Moments. Seconds. I value People. Relationships. I appreciate the tiniest of things. No, i don't expect them to last and so i appreciate them a bit more, i think, then someone who does.

Quivver -> RE: Negativity (1/27/2007 1:10:10 PM)
Well since i'm having a realllllly negitive day I'll add my two cents. My negitivity stems from not reaching what I want in my hand. My other post about weight is a good example. Usually I'm a realist. So things like the tight jeans after doing what your supposed to and expecting the results only to find once again, WRONG .. tend to make me negitive. On the other hand just being a ~realist~ and knowing your limitations can sound negitive if your severly limited. I do belive that negitive thoughts pull negitive things back to you. And I know it's awfully hard at times not to "hope for the best while planning on the worst". I've thought more then once that I am hoping/wishing/planning on more then I deserve. Or am I? Honestly I dont think I deserve less. Then the realist begins to listen to others and I question once again. It's an ugly circle. Maybe that's the key, I listen to others much too often. Maybe you do to. I find that I listen to others over things that I am striving for. Please dont misunderstand, I'm not taking other's words as gold. But I do look for the similaritys when a consensus has been polled. And take from it the high points that I mirror back at me. It's easy then to see what's lacking, and where I polish. There are some things that just cant be changed, you and I have to accept those. But it realllllly sucks when you do try to polish and fail!! Today I'm extremely disillusioned and negitive, tomorrow I'll find Scarlet's nerve once again and be back to planning my trip to buy Tara.

mymasterssub69 -> RE: Negativity (1/27/2007 1:54:16 PM)
i'm not a negative person. i'm very blunt and tell you like it is. why sugarcoat things or say something in a roundabout way. that's who i am and i'm not changing for no one.

NorthernGent -> RE: Negativity (1/27/2007 1:59:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mymasterssub69 i'm very blunt and tell you like it is. why sugarcoat things or say something in a roundabout way. that's who i am and i'm not changing for no one. I prefer the "tell it how it is" types. You know where you stand with them. It's much easier to build a friendship with someone who you know is being 100% honest - even if the truth is sometimes close to home. This will sound flippant. There's only one life - there's no time for negativtity. I mean, I'm 33 and it seems like 5 minutes ago I was 16. You can't afford to be negative because before you know it you'll be 50s/60s and you can't get that time back.

gypsygrl -> RE: Negativity (1/27/2007 2:03:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tricia On a positive note - I try to cherish small things. Moments. Seconds. I value People. Relationships. I appreciate the tiniest of things. No, i don't expect them to last and so i appreciate them a bit more, i think, then someone who does. This is a lovely sentiment. Personally, I avoid people and situations who are going to reinforce my sense for the negative and try to discipline myself to balance every negative with a positive. So, every time I have a 'negative' thought, I come up with a 'positive'.

mymasterssub69 -> RE: Negativity (1/27/2007 2:08:38 PM)
sometimes people may view my bluntness as being a negative person however i'm not one to give fluffy, Oprah-type advice. if it's a bad idea or looks terrible on, i will say "heck yeah, it's a bad idea and that color is not doing anything for your figure." even when i'm reviewing a band (though my bosses have asked me to do this), i will write the negatives as well as positives of your performance. everyone hates a critic but at least i'm giving my readers the honest truth and i stand by every single word i write.

NorthernGent -> RE: Negativity (1/27/2007 2:12:42 PM)
I can understand that. Honesty and negativity are two different concepts. Honesty is what you describe in your reviews. Negativity is a general feeling of inability to achieve something and pessimistic view of the world.

marieToo -> RE: Negativity (1/27/2007 2:48:27 PM)
Hmmm....I think Im a pretty upbeat and positive person, though I can often be found in pensive-type emotional states. I don't dwell on negativity at all. I try to move away from negative things that have happened in my life, let them go, and get them behind me. I would consider myself a realist or perhaps even cynical at times, but I think that's realism mostly, not negativity. I dont have much advice other than to say that negativity, like anger and bitterness, is a poison. You don't realize it but over the years it corrodes your spirit and can even make you physically ill. Try to leave it behind and focus on the good things in your life. I think when you remain positive, even about the smallest things, the universe works with you rather than against you. Your thoughts have so much power; it takes no more energy to use that fact to the good, than it does to the bad.

KatyLied -> RE: Negativity (1/27/2007 2:51:17 PM)
I can be negative at times and it tends to spiral downward from there. I make an effort to stop and try to reframe my thoughts and look at it differently. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves of the good we carry.

TreSwank -> RE: Negativity (1/27/2007 2:55:06 PM)
Sweetheart - it's okay to be negative most of the time. Some of the most interesting, witty, and intellectually stimulating people that I know are also inveterate pessimists. For some folks, the core of their strength is actually their negativity. I think that Jim Morrison once said that "people should stop hiding their pain, and instead, wear it like a badge of honor." There was a point in my life when I so negative and standoffish, that a good pal of mine would say "I'm surprised you haven't offed yourself yet, Bruce", every time he saw me. That negativity just filled me up with a little more worldly savvy, and made the pain more bearable. Sometimes, things aren't as bad when you see the storm on the weather forecasts, and know what to expect.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Negativity (1/27/2007 4:56:01 PM)
Oh, and I'll add that you should monitor your daughter carefully to make sure she hasn't learned and is emulating your processes negatively- watch carefully for how she responds to situations and whether her language is a "glass half full happy" or "glass half empty sarcastic" response. Last thing you want is to teach her that negativity and spiralling guilt is how to get through life. By watching her and consciously deciding what behaviors she needs to be aware of, it will make it much easier for you to knock out of your own negative headspace.

dcnovice -> RE: Negativity (1/27/2007 8:31:13 PM)
Thought of this thread as I was taking a cab home from Alexandria. It's a longish ride, and the cabbie and I got to talking. Turns out he had stomach cancer in 2004. They had to remove his stomach (he now lives on liquids), and they told him that there was a 90 percent chance he'd die within a year. Obviously, he didn't. Not only that, he talked (in a way that rang true without being gushy) about the cancer's being a gift. He said it totally altered each perspective, teaching him to think of a each day as a new birthday and a gift. I told hm Hamilton Jodan had written a book called No Such Thing as a Bad Day, and the cabbie heartily agreed. He also told me he'd made peace with anyone he'd wronged and now marvels at how "gorgeous" the world and its people can be. Most uplifting cab ride I've had in ages! It left me thinking about how I can use this to alter my own perspective, in which the half-empty glass is the best-case scenario. I'm thinking of putting a Post-It with the word "gift" on my computer at work to remind me that the job I whine endlessly about is part of the gift of that day. I may also resume writing gratitude lists, perhaps doing it all day rather than just at night (when I used to). What a gift that cabbie was to me!

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