quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66

Being stood up?

After reading a Journal entry I started wondering how O/others handle this.
Its posted here because it applies to both Dominants and submissives.

Myself when I get a new person to the world of BDSM and they bail with no notice I dont get upset.I can understand that it can be scary.
If I do hear from them again I give them another chance,a no show no call at that point,I realize they are either jerking My chain or arnt ready,so I dont set up another session.

With submissives that are somewhat experienced,or very experienced and are a no show no call,I will at least listen if they have an excuse.I'll give them a second chance.I will give people a 3rd chance if I feel like it was out of their control to miss a session.
After the 3rd chance and they still dont follow through then they have struck out.
I make a note of it and then send them a note to not bother contacting Me again.

I tend to be a patient person when dealing with session set-ups..but enough is enough at some point.
So how patient are you when its comes to being stood up?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66
So how patient are you when its comes to being stood up?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66

Being stood up?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66

Okay...its abundantly clear I need to change the 3 strikes rule to 1 or maybe 2...lol

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66

Being stood up?

After reading a Journal entry I started wondering how O/others handle this.
Its posted here because it applies to both Dominants and submissives.

Myself when I get a new person to the world of BDSM and they bail with no notice I dont get upset.I can understand that it can be scary.
If I do hear from them again I give them another chance,a no show no call at that point,I realize they are either jerking My chain or arnt ready,so I dont set up another session.

With submissives that are somewhat experienced,or very experienced and are a no show no call,I will at least listen if they have an excuse.I'll give them a second chance.I will give people a 3rd chance if I feel like it was out of their control to miss a session.
After the 3rd chance and they still dont follow through then they have struck out.
I make a note of it and then send them a note to not bother contacting Me again.

I tend to be a patient person when dealing with session set-ups..but enough is enough at some point.
So how patient are you when its comes to being stood up?




[/quote

I'd give a newbie a 2nd chance following a discussion as to why she didn't show, and that's it.  An experienced sub has no second chances, unless there was a "legitimate" emergency and a quick phone call letting me know what happened.

I consider myself patient but I seldom play the fool.

LBO

(in reply to MistressSassy66)

quote:

Interesting that many guys on here who write a good bit have never had that happen to them or done it. I wonder what the correlation is if any?


Denial?


_____________________________

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.

Anais Nin

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlyStone

quote:

Interesting that many guys on here who write a good bit have never had that happen to them or done it. I wonder what the correlation is if any?

Denial?

Luck!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to SlyStone)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlyStone

quote:

Interesting that many guys on here who write a good bit have never had that happen to them or done it. I wonder what the correlation is if any?

Denial?

Luck!

Haha, I'll take luck over denial. Swear it has never happened to me. Now, I'm not saying someone I wanted to meet did not want to meet me or something like that. However, if it ever came down to the stage where we were supposed to meet, I showed up as she did. I think most of us here who it never happened to tend to know those we intend to meet pretty well if you read back over the thread.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to KnightofMists)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I had no right to fall so hard for someone I just met but I spent more than a bit fucking crying today over being stood up.

Sunday morning I walked into a cafe I hadn't meant to go, sat on a side that I never do and met the most amazing woman.  The connection was pretty clear and I asked for her number (something I rarely do) but begged off talking because I had papers to write.  I went home, looked out at the stunning blue sky and said "fuck it" and called her and asked if she wanted to go for a walk.  Six miles and almost several hours later after deeply shared thoughts and the finding of almost spooky parallels in our lives we kind of just stood next to each other silently looking at the river together.  I am old, I don't do this, falling like a kid was never something I did and I am no kid.  This woman was everthing I liked in my best partners AND most amazingly had none of the issues that are patterns in the women I tend to choose.  I felt like an adult in my first real adult relationship.  Not many people and sadly very few women impress me with their sense of adventure and level of accomplishment and this woman blew me away and to then find so much common ground and shared perspective with a woman was just stunning and amazing.  I felt like I was in a movie, one of those sentimental hack jobs that is just too sacharine to believe.

Today she told me sharing so deeply terrified her and she just wasn't ready to do that with someone.  I told her for me that was the finest part of a very very magical day.  I realize what I should take from this is that there are amazing women out there and that one of them could look at me and find someone equally amazing but right now there is just a great big fucking hole in me.  I realize I am a great big dope for piling that much on, but again, I don't do that, certainly not on a one day meeting but what we shared was just amazing and intense.

We spoke of physically wanting each other and I should probably have just thrown her down and had my way with her (an axioum of mine is if you don't they freak out and can't deal with it and you always regret not doing it) but I respected her enough that I wanted to give her space to think as we shared a few relationship patterns, one I knew I had broken out of and thought that I didn't represent hers but I wanted her to make that choice.

So yes, I have been stood up.