RE: Does Masochism Interfere with Submissiveness?

RE: Does Masochism Interfere with Submissiveness? (Full Version)

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RedSavageSlave -> RE: Does Masochism Interfere with Submissiveness? (1/22/2007 4:53:50 PM)
I have always defined my needs as being 90% submissive and 10% masochistic. My motivations will predominantly be to serve..not to be served.. However, I do find the joy in being able to take what He wishes of me..I think that is more where my masochistic needs fall.

petdave -> RE: Does Masochism Interfere with Submissiveness? (1/22/2007 5:27:29 PM)
It does interfere for me, but i certainly don't consider it to be inherently disruptive to a D/s relationship... it's just another compatibility issue to consider. ...dave

BradleytheKajiru -> RE: Does Masochism Interfere with Submissiveness? (1/22/2007 5:35:19 PM)
A good Master or Mistress will know that the best punishment for a masochist is no punishment at all. This boy thinks that you have nothing to worry about. ^.^

CreativeDominant -> RE: Does Masochism Interfere with Submissiveness? (1/22/2007 6:24:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania There was a question asked a while back that never got a proper answer from my perspective, and that is this: For those of us "s" types, do you think that your masochism interferes your submissiveness? Do you worry that getting a masochistic fix will become your primary motivation for your submission? For dominant types, have you noticed a difference between masochist submissives and non masochistic submissives when it comes to the motivations for their submissiveness, just in your experience of course. I consider myself masochistic, I enjoy pain sometimes just for the sake of it. I used to worry that this would become my motivation for my submissiveness when I first began exploring this part of myself. I no longer worry about that for me personally, it is not my primary motivation, it does not interefere with my submissiveness whatsoever. I can see where it might begin to, if getting that "fix" became more important than doing what I was told, etc. I was wondering what other people's experiences in this regard are. It only happened once in my experiences as a dominant...and a very wise dominant friend of mine told me to withhold the satisfaction of the masochism until the submission came more around again. It did. I think problems can begin when a masochist that is not submissive tries to be submissive to suit a sadistic dominant who may be the best sadist she has ever experienced and who...during the play...drives her into a frenzy that is only enhanced by his dominant control during the scene....but THEN..................she comes out of that frenzy and now, here is that same sadistic dominant expecting submission. As an aside, I think the same could be true for a sadist who explores his sadism with a masochistic submissive who just responds in a way that he just feels ever more powerful during their play..................................but THEN............the play is over and here is this masochistic submissive feeling more tied to this sadist who has no clue about domination except when he is playing.

amayos -> RE: Does Masochism Interfere with Submissiveness? (1/22/2007 6:28:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania For dominant types, have you noticed a difference between masochist submissives and non masochistic submissives when it comes to the motivations for their submissiveness? Assuming we are discussing both physical and emotional forms of masochism, most certainly. Those who use such propensities solely as their impetus for "submission" are not being entirely honest with the word. I personally dislike those who put too much emphasis on their next endorphin rush, and for reasons I trust are obvious to the reader. Authentic obedience and supplication is what interests me. I don't mind the idea of being a pain pusher for my own temporary amusement, but it's not what holds my interest. Inversely, I do not view sadism alone as legitimate dominance.

MaryT -> RE: Does Masochism Interfere with Submissiveness? (1/22/2007 6:31:48 PM)
My motivations for submissiveness aren't closely related to my masochistic tendencies. I can always just ask to be beaten and thus avoid unpleasantness and the resulting wear and tear on a relationship.

glycerine -> RE: Does Masochism Interfere with Submissiveness? (1/22/2007 6:43:36 PM)
My masochism and submissiveness aren't at all tied together. i chose who i will be submissive to but the masochism is something that was not consciously chosen for me, but is a basic part of my sexual nature. Spanking me into submission just wouldn't work for me, i like it too much for that. Since Sir and i are not in a 24/7 situation and He does not live with me, His greatest punishment is withholding Himself either by email, phone or visitation. That devastates me more than anything physically He could do to me. The threat of that alone will make me more submissive to His desires than anything else and the words "well I could just not come over" have the power to reduce me to tears quicker than any caning ever could.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Does Masochism Interfere with Submissiveness? (1/22/2007 8:02:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania For dominant types, have you noticed a difference between masochist submissives and non masochistic submissives when it comes to the motivations for their submissiveness, just in your experience of course. This varies from person to person, in my experience. It depends on what the person has decided is the most important, the submission or the scene. We see the same kind of thing all the time in people who date...for some, it's all about hook-up, for some it's all about finding a good partner. Master Fire

HatesParisHilton -> RE: Does Masochism Interfere with Submissiveness? (1/22/2007 9:30:34 PM)
sometimes it seems that a lack of masochism interferes with submissiveness, rather than the other way round.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Does Masochism Interfere with Submissiveness? (1/22/2007 9:36:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HatesParisHilton sometimes it seems that a lack of masochism interferes with submissiveness, rather than the other way round. A perfectly valid view...but since I don't have the view that masochist = submissive, I'd not totally agree. I think that it CAN, but doesn't always. Again, it depends on what's important to the person, the service or the scene. Master Fire

HatesParisHilton -> RE: Does Masochism Interfere with Submissiveness? (1/22/2007 9:55:34 PM)
I'd roll with that and agree, but say some "classic" particulars illuminate the "masochistic not matching the submissive" bit. because some practices, even if over 300 years old, demand a level of masochism (sans any permanent damage at all) that many people would not submit to. Such as "figging" (with the ginger root carved into a plug). Someone can take 200 strokes with a flogger and call that submissive because that's their "offer", but the dom - for an act of submission - asks them to take 20 on each asscheek with a classic wooden hairbrush and no "hand spanky" warm up while figged. That's not something to many accede to, would take a good deal of masochism, more than they'd be willing to undergo, yet they'd still be equally "submissive" while not submitting to that.

swtnsparkling -> RE: Does Masochism Interfere with Submissiveness? (1/23/2007 1:45:09 AM)
quote: MistressCamille Most masochists I know aren't submissive at all. Most but Not All- ( but we're out here)

RumpusParable -> RE: Does Masochism Interfere with Submissiveness? (1/23/2007 1:53:57 AM)
No to it interfering with when I submit. While I love pain play, the submission itself is fullfilling so my masochism doesn't threaten my ability to submit. They are two separate needs that sometimes coincide, but neither rely on the other. Yes, in dominating I've found masochistic "submissives" to sometimes be problematic in this way... but it's more an issue of having people who are purely pain bottoms referring to themselves as submissives and having to weed them out than having the masochism of a sub interfering with their submission. A sub that has a strong masochistic streak they desire fullfilled I've no issue with, we're just not a match, but most I've dealt with have turned out not to be submissive at all. They most often tended to be people who honestly didn't seem to understand that it was okay to want pain play alone and admit to it, they seemed to feel that they had to say they were submissive or that the two ar the same thing.

SirDiscipliner69 -> RE: Does Masochism Interfere with Submissiveness? (1/23/2007 2:38:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I consider myself masochistic, I enjoy pain sometimes just for the sake of it. your palovian responses to the endorphines are quite evident to all here I am sure. It is time you checked yourself in to the DeSade clinic for rehabilitation. Ask for Dr. Ross [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m11.gif[/image] Helping those with addictions readily cross addict to endorphines. Ross

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Does Masochism Interfere with Submissiveness? (1/23/2007 7:05:11 AM)
I'd agree that masochism/sadism CAN become an issue- we've had many threads about tops who don't feel comfortable hurting their bottoms as much as they want, and bottoms who don't feel they can take what they should from their tops. But that's no different than any other compatibility issue.

Noah -> RE: Does Masochism Interfere with Submissiveness? (1/23/2007 3:27:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sinergy ... One example does not prove or disprove an argument, of course. Well that would depend on the nature of the argument.

juliaoceania -> RE: Does Masochism Interfere with Submissiveness? (1/23/2007 5:55:34 PM)
I am on my Daddy's laptop and it is hard to get the hang of this keyboard for me... just wanted to tell ya all that I have been enjoying reading all the thoughts conveyed on this thread.

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