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Question - 1/18/2007 8:12:41 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
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What do you do when you have a problem that is greatly upseting you? How do you cope when you cant fathom talking to anyone? When having to literally "speak" the words is just too much to handle?

I've never been good with emotions. I honestly havent much of a clue how to handle them. i used to let them out in some self destructive, reckless manner - but i cant do that anymore.

I was taught that crying and talking to some one were good ideas, but i refuse to do either. I've written out my problem a couple of times and i end up in tears or god awful angry. So that isnt working. I got into a really nasty arguement tonight and that just made me feel worse.

There is nothing to do about the problem either. I cant run out and "fix" it. I've spoken to those involved and that doesnt do any good either. The facts are unfortunetly the facts, which arent completely facts as there is no positive proof backing it up. Yet everything adds up. (if that makes sense) I was waiting for the "proof postive" tonight, yet its impossible to get. So i'm at an impasse i think?

So i have a problem with no substantial facts backing it up (yet everything does add up) and i have to make a decision what to do about it, yet i am completely over emotional to do so. Its also been 24 hrs since the incident happened and only a slight decrease in how i feel, but not really.

I need to cure myself of my emotions so i can tackle my problem in a logical, rational way so i can do whats right and have all my bases covered. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle their emotional selves? How do YOU handle yourself when you are over emotional?

< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 1/18/2007 8:15:11 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Question - 1/18/2007 8:21:54 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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Give yourself more time. It would take too long to count all the threads you've made very upset about something (far worse than you appear to be here) and always within a few weeks you bounce back and have it all healed up.

No reason to think this one will go any different.

So just give it some more time.

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 1/18/2007 8:24:54 PM >

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Post #: 2

RE: Question - 1/18/2007 8:22:16 PM

BDSM05478

Posts: 417
Joined: 10/27/2006
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I am not sure which question needs answering first as I see a few of them listed. Knowing nothing about what is actually being addressed I can say this. Take a deep breath, whatever it is you can handle it, I am sure life has thrown you a few curves before now. Next if it comes down to your gut feeling against someone elses word, usually I would say go with your gut there is exceptions to that rule. About getting a grip and getting it out w/o the tried and true ways of the past (mine was self mutilation) write. Write a poem, sonnet, hakio, letter, novel whatever, address it to who ever you want, say everything you have to say even if it turns out to be a disjointed ramble and then put it away, get some rest and go back to it. Maybe there you will find the answers you seek. Just one idea of many.

_____________________________

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" U.E. McGill

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Post #: 3

RE: Question - 1/18/2007 8:37:39 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
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I was working once on an issue that was the long pole in the tent for a multi-billion dollar project in aerospaz.

My co-worker, frazzled from dealing with people demanding The Answer, turned to me at one point and asked
"Do you ever get upset about anything?"

I replied "Would it help?"

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to BDSM05478)

Post #: 4

RE: Question - 1/18/2007 8:46:13 PM

gretchenS

Posts: 237
Joined: 8/19/2006
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To me, you make a lot of sense.

I've been there many times, where my emotions get a little too overwhelming and logic has no space in my mind.

When this happens, I tend to decrease the mental dramma by just convincing myself that nothing matters that much to put an overload of emotions on my shoulders. Expecting the worst of certain situations and deal with the mental picture with apathy.

That tends to make everything a little easier to take, or go through.

I know I sound like a mental case, but works to get that peace of mind for a bit.

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Post #: 5

RE: Question - 1/18/2007 8:46:26 PM

HatesParisHilton

Posts: 3513
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

"profile not found" when looking at the OP.

many threads on this site have addressed Borderline Personality Character Disorder, which in many ways deals with some things you said.

Maybe you have that, maybe you do not. many women identifying as "riot girls" or "riot grrrrrls" DO have this problem.

If you DO have this problem, no replies on a message board will help you, sorry, I've known too many BPCD's.

If you are not one, ignore this.

If you are or might be?

You need to look up the DSM criterion on the net, and get appropriate treatment, or (like it or not) your life will be a wreck and you'll wreck the lives of those you feel you love or romantically/sexually need.

sorry if that sounds harch but that's the way it is and I have to reply going off your initial post.

good luck.

_____________________________

I am (now) "Hiltie", hear me ROARRRRR! And have a cuffy cake, they're nice.

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 6

RE: Question - 1/18/2007 9:21:10 PM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
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The first choice of action: talk to your master. (Actually it is his problem for you are his slave.)

The second choice of action: consult someone you trust. Perhaps a friend, perhaps a professional who has taken an oath not to talk about stuff other people tell him (like a clergy, physician or psychologist/shrink).

Third option: tell it to the Divine (God) and ask the Divine to take care of the problem.

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Post #: 7

RE: Question - 1/18/2007 10:46:43 PM

HatesParisHilton

Posts: 3513
Joined: 12/27/2006
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still "profile not found" for "RiotGirl".

Hm.

INteresting.

wondering what's up with that.

wondering what a therapist would say, LOL

_____________________________

I am (now) "Hiltie", hear me ROARRRRR! And have a cuffy cake, they're nice.

(in reply to Rule)

Post #: 8

RE: Question - 1/18/2007 11:20:43 PM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

I've never been good with emotions. I honestly havent much of a clue how to handle them. i used to let them out in some self destructive, reckless manner - but i cant do that anymore.

Whatever the problem, you just need to ride this one out as it's clear from your post that you're not about to develop a hard shell in a few weeks.

Once you've come to terms with this problem, my advice is to take some time out to have a good, long, hard look at yourself to get your head right i.e. understand what it is about you that means you can't cope with a setback and instead let your emotions run riot (weak pun I know but fuck it).

Life's no bed of roses - when you have a setback you pick yourself up, dust yourself down and get back on the horse. You need to understand why you find it hard to pick yourself up and only you can do that (with friends or a psychologist as a sounding board).

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Post #: 9

RE: Question - 1/18/2007 11:42:59 PM

Rumtiger

Posts: 2634
Joined: 3/4/2006
From: Vegas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HatesParisHilton

still "profile not found" for "RiotGirl".

Hm.

INteresting.

wondering what's up with that.

wondering what a therapist would say, LOL

She was here well before you where, she just decided to do away with her profile when she thought she was leaving CM a long while back.

_____________________________

Fuck the Pandas!
-Moi

Mmm, I love me some kickboxers, you know why? Cause ya'll cant take a punch!
- Quentin Tarantino.

If they cant take a joke, fuck em.
-Tucker Max

(in reply to HatesParisHilton)

Post #: 10

RE: Question - 1/19/2007 12:41:54 AM

SusanofO

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Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Well - I am not sure if this will help, but maybe it will.
I take some "down-time" with no interruptions - and how I usually do this is:
I take myself window shopping, or I go to the zoo (I love the zoo, and my town has a truly world-class zoo), or go to a museum, plus I always take myself out to lunch - And - I do these things alone - by myself only - because I want time to think, and to mentally and emotionally "process" whatever is going on inside me - and I also want to have a pleasant, but un-pressured, time doing that.

After a day of doing stuff like this, I come home and listen to soothing music, and take a bubble bath, or do something else extremely relaxing - then usually, some "answer" has come to me about how to handle - whatever.

Of course, week-ends are usually best for this kind of thing. But hey- if you have unused sick days (if you are working) - then (I think) it's worth taking one of them for this kind of outing - if it will make you feel that much better. It works for me. Good luck.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 1/19/2007 12:45:31 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Rumtiger)

Post #: 11

RE: Question - 1/19/2007 5:36:08 AM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

HatesParisHilton
"profile not found" for "RiotGirl".

FYI: RiotGirl/ Devilslilsister - same person

< Message edited by swtnsparkling -- 1/19/2007 5:38:11 AM >

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to HatesParisHilton)

Post #: 12

RE: Question - 1/19/2007 5:52:45 AM

caitlyn

Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline

If you really want to get past 'troubles', the thing that has worked best for me is to compartmentalize them.

Put them in one, of two compartments ... a)things you are going to fix, or b)thing you are going to anestesize.

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Post #: 13

RE: Question - 1/19/2007 6:09:08 AM

amlonging

Posts: 153
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle their emotional selves? How do YOU handle yourself when you are over emotional?

If I were to say this has not happened to me I would be a liar.
I have been taught to write it out. About a month ago, an "issue" occured and I just could not write it out...then one day, while sitting in a classroom, the emotions overwhelmed me and I did not put it off, but wrote. I saw everything more clearly. but their is no conclusion. Doesnt matter... I could put things to words instead of emotions.

Somethings must be worked no matter how useless they seem..
nmake a list of pros and cons, truths/facts and unknowns ~~ opposite sides of the issue. This might help.

I have come along way in handling my emotions, but I have always known one thing... if I act out when in the very abyss of emotions..there are consequences to pay for it and those are more dreadful to deal with than the original issues.

_____________________________

BEHIND EVERY GREAT WOMAN...
...is a butt she can learn to love.

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Post #: 14

RE: Question - 1/19/2007 6:15:59 AM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

Thank you for replying. I've tried the writing it out. I wrote a long letter to some one i thought was in the position to help me work on the problem - stating clearly and excatly what the problem was and a few side issues. Except something in some one elses voice later made me wonder if i should trust the person i was emailing. I have written it out other times and it doesnt really help.

La, i am going to give it more time. There are people who want an answer from me, but they will of course have to wait.

Sinergy, i compleely BELIEVE that getting upset doesnt help. You are absolutetly right. If i could shut off my "upset" and emotions, i would in a heart beat. Yet they seem to rule me at times.

Gretchen, i am probably about to follow your advice.

Hates Paris, i've actually been to a therapist and was not classifed with BPCD

Rule, i've spoke to Master and it ended in a very nasty arguement. The only other person i trust with out a doubt that could help is my father. He would tell me what i already know. I'll try talking to God. Dont know why i didnt think of that.

Gent, i know why i have issues with my emotions.

Susuan, i am also going to take your advice for abit. I think i'm going to go see a movie today and then maybe i'll take myself over to a place i call Narnia. Its alittle (rather big) oasis unto itself with lakes and when you are in it.. is like civilization is gone. Maybe i'll start a bonfire, maybe i'll sleep out tonight and maybe i'll take the dog so the gators dont eat me.

I think i've decided that since it is almost a he said/she said with no postive proof of what was said, i'm going to have to error on the side of caution. Better to be safe then sorry. Obviously it leaves everything unresolved, leaves doubt and will affect my relationship with two people. The alternative is to believe something i dont believe or start a massive battle. Neither option is in my best interest.

(in reply to swtnsparkling)

Post #: 15

RE: Question - 1/19/2007 6:29:13 AM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

whats that saying?

When at first we practice to decieve
....

oh what a web we weave?

Something about lying, spiders and their webs and decieving.. its been in my head for 2 days and i cant remember the dang words.

< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 1/19/2007 6:30:01 AM >

(in reply to amlonging)

Post #: 16

RE: Question - 1/19/2007 6:32:34 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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Oh what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practise to deceive!
Sir Walter Scott, Marmion, Canto vi. Stanza 17.
Scottish author & novelist (1771 - 1832)

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Post #: 17

RE: Question - 1/19/2007 6:44:16 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

Hi RG

I'm going to have to say write it all out too - BUT, the way I handle this sort of thing by writing it out is to do one of two things (and they could be mixed I guess, too);

1) Write a letter to the person - which you are never going to mail. This makes it "safe" to say what you really want to say. And you can go off into self narrative as you need to as well eg, not just how this pisses you off, but looking at yourself to evaluate why it pisses you off.

2) Look at it all, from the outside. This can be difficult of course, but taking an outside view is also useful. Imagine youre a trusted but disinterested (in the sense that he/she is not involved) friend.

And of course, if you want someone disinterested in that sense, to talk to about it, then mail me on the other side. Total confidentiality assured; I could prove that claim, but that would breach confidentiality LOL!

E

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In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Post #: 18

RE: Question - 1/19/2007 6:46:16 AM

Rumtiger

Posts: 2634
Joined: 3/4/2006
From: Vegas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

Something about lying, spiders and their webs and decieving.. its been in my head for 2 days and i cant remember the dang words.

I hate spiders...
Lying spiders are even worse.

_____________________________

Fuck the Pandas!
-Moi

Mmm, I love me some kickboxers, you know why? Cause ya'll cant take a punch!
- Quentin Tarantino.

If they cant take a joke, fuck em.
-Tucker Max

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Post #: 19

RE: Question - 1/19/2007 6:47:22 AM

ToGiveDivine

Posts: 650
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

1) Write a letter to the person - which you are never going to mail. This makes it "safe" to say what you really want to say. And you can go off into self narrative as you need to as well eg, not just how this pisses you off, but looking at yourself to evaluate why it pisses you off.

She writes letters to me all the time - except she actually sends them to me - ouch!!!

LOL

_____________________________

These are my opinions - which may differ from your opinions. They may be right and just as equally wrong.

Beware, author is often sarcastic in his replies - most often, no sincere offense is intended.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 20

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