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dom liveing in the subs house - 1/14/2007 9:50:45 PM

jefisme03

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Has any one had experience in this type of environment? Do you guys think it wold work out well?

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RE: dom liveing in the subs house - 1/14/2007 9:54:10 PM

motherthirteen

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you would be surprised how dirty the burbs are, ppl got to raise the litter somewhere

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RE: dom liveing in the subs house - 1/14/2007 9:56:22 PM

amativedame

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Why wouldn't it work? Its really no different than any other arrangement.

Yes, I supose if things got sour they would be able to kick you out... but in reality nothing would keep her/him from leaving if things were the other way around. It would just be you having to deal with it instead of them.

I fail to see the critical issue here.

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RE: dom liveing in the subs house - 1/14/2007 10:40:20 PM

slavejali

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Master moved in with me...and before he came I tried to make the house as neutral as possible....I wanted it to be his place, our home...I thought it was working out ok.

However, we ended up moving, not because of that reason....but it wasn't until then I could really feel the difference...moving into the new place, it was Masters place instantly and our home in a more concrete way than the other place had ever been. The difference I felt was profound and I know Master is happier having "His Castle."

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RE: dom liveing in the subs house - 1/14/2007 11:35:05 PM

susie

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When Master and I got together he had his own house and I lived some 200 miles away. When we decided to live together I moved south and bought a house. We decided to live in my house as it was in a better location and slightly bigger. So it is my house but it is our home. We make decisions about the house together, the new sofas were chosen by us both and the colours in the living room were a joint decision (the huge lcd tv though was his choice and his alone!!) although I admit that at the end of the day he would have the final say in these things. We have never had any issues with it being my house.

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RE: dom liveing in the subs house - 1/15/2007 1:14:22 AM

Kalira

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My first Master moved into my house. When he did, it ceased to be my house and became our home

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RE: dom liveing in the subs house - 1/15/2007 2:03:49 AM

MaamJay

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Master has been living in my house for 3 years, not a problem to me, though not always easy for Him (my sort of sub hubby at the time saw to that!). However, soon W/we will be moving state and i think the house W/we have just chosen there will be much more O/our home than this one has been. i'm looking forward to that ... just not looking forward to all the packing! Am likely to be off-air for a while!
Essentially, i think things need to be discussed as to who has the ultimate say on things about the home for it to work out.
Good luck!
violet[A] aka Maam Jay

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RE: dom liveing in the subs house - 1/15/2007 5:46:00 AM

Dnomyar

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Im reading all of these good outcomes but I know of just as many bad outcomes. It's 50/50 you take your chance and hope for the best.

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RE: dom liveing in the subs house - 1/15/2007 6:08:15 AM

LeatherBentOne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jefisme03

Has any one had experience in this type of environment? Do you guys think it wold work out well?

I moved into my sub's house (a newbie) about 3 months ago. As best as I could, I took into account that while remaining Dominant, I needed to be prepared for some territorialism on her part. Also, that she was spoiled during childhood because she was the baby and her Mom (May she rest in peace) showered her with attention. I tried to take all this into consideration and be patient.

What a challenge for me to undertake, trying to find a reasonable balance. It wasn't easy but we both learned much during that time. She learned to share, sometimes begrudgingly but the more we discussed that both of us had needs and that Dominants have feelings too, she became less self-centered and more willing to accept this. I started out with small adjustments to the environment, and progressively worked up to the larger changes, once she learned to give up control a step at a time.

After 3 months, we are continuing to make changes in the household and she has taken an active participatory role in carrying out my wishes. I think by taking the time to explain why I thought these changes would benefit both of us, helping her through the process of "letting go," and breaking down her goals in managable parts so she wouldn't become overwhelmed is helping us through the process.

As a Dominant, I realised that by being "heavy-handed" would work against both of us. Although I can be very firm in my convictions, taking the slower, more calculated route seems to be working for the best. After all, I do invision both of us reaching the gaols I have set in this relationship and am quite pleased that my submissive is beginning to anticipate my needs and desires as time passes out of respect for my patience and down-to-earth approach when tackling the problems that arise from my moving into her space.

Had the situation been the other way around and she moved in with me, I would have laid down defined guidelines which I'd expect her to obey as long as her welfare wasn't threatened in any way. However, although it is very challenging on my part, I continue to be as patient and open-minded as I can without compromising my Dominance. Indeed, a fine line between the two and at times I catch myself "reeling" her in, changing my tactics and exerting my power over her when she becomes difficult or rebellious. So far, it seems to be working but I try to remain open to making changes down the line, as needed. I'm sure this process will be never-ending.

Best of luck to you and yours. I hope my post is of some help to you and others.

LBO

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RE: dom liveing in the subs house - 1/15/2007 8:14:33 AM

toservez

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This really is not about M/s but a basic relationship question and the answer depends on the circumstance and the people involved in the relationship. As most who have answered that they see no problem is because the circumstance dictated one moving into another’s home and just so happens to be the dominant moving into the submissive’s. With older people most own a shelter and someone has to move. I cannot see why where one lives would affect me in the relationship. I cannot imagine if my Master moved to me that he would be weakened in my eyes at all.

Now if the OP was too general and the real reason for potential problems is economic then I can see where it would be an issue. Certainly a different story if the person comes to live in a house as a way to sponge, but then again I do not see that as a role situation but a relationship situation.

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RE: dom liveing in the subs house - 1/15/2007 8:23:58 AM

RandomGAGirl

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I think it depends on the people in question and how the relationship is. I have my own beautiful home and while my Master doesn't live with me at this time I wouldn't mind if eventually he came to think of it as his home too. I would really hope that he would feel the same if the roles were reversed. The only time I could see the Dom living with the sub being a problem if the sub really doesn't want the Dom living there for whatever reason (still building the relationship, children involved, ect) or the Dom is considering the subs home as his/her property too without the subs approval. I personally could care less if my Master claimed my house as his own but I know not everyone feels that way.

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RE: dom liveing in the subs house - 1/15/2007 10:33:22 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jefisme03
Has any one had experience in this type of environment? Do you guys think it wold work out well?

Sure. For me it's a completely practical question of who moves where.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_693229/mpage_1/key_house/tm.htm#693350
Dominants moving into their sub's house

http://www.collarchat.com/m_374849/mpage_1/key_moves/tm.htm#374919
Who moves

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