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LeatherBentOne -> RE: dom liveing in the subs house (1/15/2007 6:08:15 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jefisme03
Has any one had experience in this type of environment? Do you guys think it wold work out well?
I moved into my sub's house (a newbie) about 3 months ago. As best as I could, I took into account that while remaining Dominant, I needed to be prepared for some territorialism on her part. Also, that she was spoiled during childhood because she was the baby and her Mom (May she rest in peace) showered her with attention. I tried to take all this into consideration and be patient.
What a challenge for me to undertake, trying to find a reasonable balance. It wasn't easy but we both learned much during that time. She learned to share, sometimes begrudgingly but the more we discussed that both of us had needs and that Dominants have feelings too, she became less self-centered and more willing to accept this. I started out with small adjustments to the environment, and progressively worked up to the larger changes, once she learned to give up control a step at a time.
After 3 months, we are continuing to make changes in the household and she has taken an active participatory role in carrying out my wishes. I think by taking the time to explain why I thought these changes would benefit both of us, helping her through the process of "letting go," and breaking down her goals in managable parts so she wouldn't become overwhelmed is helping us through the process.
As a Dominant, I realised that by being "heavy-handed" would work against both of us. Although I can be very firm in my convictions, taking the slower, more calculated route seems to be working for the best. After all, I do invision both of us reaching the gaols I have set in this relationship and am quite pleased that my submissive is beginning to anticipate my needs and desires as time passes out of respect for my patience and down-to-earth approach when tackling the problems that arise from my moving into her space.
Had the situation been the other way around and she moved in with me, I would have laid down defined guidelines which I'd expect her to obey as long as her welfare wasn't threatened in any way. However, although it is very challenging on my part, I continue to be as patient and open-minded as I can without compromising my Dominance. Indeed, a fine line between the two and at times I catch myself "reeling" her in, changing my tactics and exerting my power over her when she becomes difficult or rebellious. So far, it seems to be working but I try to remain open to making changes down the line, as needed. I'm sure this process will be never-ending.
Best of luck to you and yours. I hope my post is of some help to you and others.
LBO
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