Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: How far would you be willing to take your BSDM Life style?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: How far would you be willing to take your BSDM Life style? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: How far would you be willing to take your BSDM Life... - 1/14/2007 9:05:19 AM   
MistressDiane


Posts: 334
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterGremlin

You don't really think you are the first one to think of this do you?

Cordially,
minxy


Your statement crossed my mind as well minxy. I'm sure there's a large number of us who have thought about it at some point or another myself and the Ol' Man included. We have the land we just never can get them kinda bucks together to pull it off. *smile*.

_____________________________

Ms. Diane
"..and they who danced were thought insane by those who refused to hear the music." ~Monet

*Suffer BayBeee!!!!!*

"My treasures do not sparkle or glitter, they shine in the sun and neigh in the night."

(in reply to MasterGremlin)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: How far would you be willing to take your BSDM Life... - 1/14/2007 9:10:19 AM   
mari49x


Posts: 16
Joined: 10/16/2004
Status: offline
quote:

sure I'm interested, but Id much prefer it to one where I can have a family in the future, nudist colonies had kids back in the 60-70's right?  As for neighbors who freak out on you ---Why not do it on an island?


Some nudist colonies still have families with kids.   Ponderosa in Roselawn, Indiana, is one.   You don't live there, however.   You just go for vacation, or for the day.  
 
Island ... oh yeah ... one of the Hawaiian islands. 

< Message edited by mari49x -- 1/14/2007 9:14:26 AM >

(in reply to DeepWaters)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: How far would you be willing to take your BSDM Life... - 1/14/2007 9:18:16 AM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
Enigmaslave...

I would be willing to visit Canada to spend time at such a place.  Et puis, nous pouvons practiquer parler le francais Quebecquois, n'est-ce pas?  


A bientot,

la femme aux cheveux rouges 


_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to enigmaslave)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: How far would you be willing to take your BSDM Life... - 1/14/2007 10:41:06 AM   
enigmaslave


Posts: 146
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline
Mr JohnWarren

I wish to thank you for your input on my vague query. I am a very articulate and well spoken young man of 34 years, who is also still naive about life.

I know it’s very easy to stand back, and look at a series of statements, and pick them apart. I have done this in my past as well. However, I wish to point out, that since I am the recipient of the comments from the board, I want to respectfully convey, that at then end of the day, it matters not to you whether my statements seem contradictory or slightly confused. But rather do they make sense to me. We may all speak English, but we don’t think the same way.

Take the word “roots”, you may think of roots of a plant, but Canadians will also think of a clothing company, and Australians will think of sex. (Try wrapping your noodle around that one.)

I will make an honest effort to clarify my thinking to you. I hope I can be successful. I will be very direct, and my vocabulary will not be soft and mushy, so please do not take offence.

Initially I had only an idea. The idea was of a housing community for those who wish to live among those with similar interest. Furthermore, to be able to walk through that community with out the fear of snickers, finger pointing and ridicule.

I lived in a Co-op once before, and my immediate neighbors not only disapproved of my lifestyle choices, but went out of there way to share the beliefs of disproval with other members of the Co-operative.

Do I harbor resentment or anger to them, for doing this? At one time I did, and even today, still moderately so. But a lesson was learned and now I have moved on.

My opening question: “Would you be willing to move and to live in an adult only community that was accepting of your choices? Would you relocate to another country, province or state?”
- I believe, was and still is straight forward.

My next statement, “Honestly speaking I don’t want to hear from the no crowd. I know there will be many will say no that they have a job and family where they are, and further more it would be too difficult for them to make such a transition.”
- I think beyond the cog or the spoke in a wheel. I have this need to understand the “big picture.” This was an attempt to minimize those that would immediately come on and say, “Not Possible, don’t even think about it, etc.” I don’t work well with short answers, (I never have. I am not sure I can change that. And yes its caused me problems in the past, and I’m sure it will in the future.) If you going to tell me “No”, tell me why, or don’t make a comment at all.

My next statement, “I would like to hear some serious feed back.”
- This again seems straight forward, but hey, if you were me, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I wanted serious feed back on the feasibility of implementation of this concept.

Now that fair is fair. Let’s dissect your concerns.

You stated “Doesn't sound like much intellectually honesty there.” I hope my rebuttal clarifies the intellectually honesty question that you pondered.

You also stated. “But I'm going to go ahead and introduce a bit of reality.” Your statement has a slight hint of belittling of my idea. (In my Human Relations and Leadership courses, we call you, a sniper.) I am happy to take any information that you and the community can give me that can provide clearer thought and perspective on this concept. There have been many people that have given more insights then I would have conceived on my own. (In my Human Relations and Leadership course we call that an impromptu brain storming session)

You and MANY others have pointed this fallowing statement out, “You'd have to find people who are willing to purchase property with little guarantee they would be able to resell it if that became necessary.” I guess you missed those notes. I am humbled and do appreciate you reiterating these concerns to me.

“As someone who has both served on vanilla condo boards and who ran The Boston Dungeon Society for almost ten years”. Believe it or not, I was hopping to hear from people like you, such as condominium Board members, Contractors, as well as the people who would be living there, etc, etc.

“How are you going to define "kinky?"”
This is an awesome question, to which I will give some thought, as an answer currently eludes me.

“I can easily see a situation where an owners' board comes to blows about approving a sale to someone who is a vanilla crossdresser or a non-play fetish dresser.” Again this not something that was considered. But again, your insight is awesome.  

"Is it even legal to refuse to admit someone into a community based on their sexual preference". This was something I had considered. I am aware of many communities in Canada where there are “unwritten rules” and by-laws for standards that must be obtained and upheld to remain and that community. This is most often seen and found in the condominiums and their by-laws and an agreement that is signed as part of tenancy agreement. All though they are challengeable, it needs to be done at the Supreme Court level. Few people are willing to take it to such an extreme. Furthermore, many of these places have high maintenance fees that act as a deterrent. If you can’t afford to live there, why challenge the “acceptance” process. One last thing, its only illegal if you state an illegal reason for denial. A refusal letter can simply say “I’m sorry Mr. Jones we found some one more compatible to our values and beliefs. Even American Judges won’t touch that.

"Such laws cut both ways.  A law that forbids refusing to sell to a sadomasochist would equally forbid requiring people to be sadomasochists in order to buy". True. However there are many Condominiums Corporations that stipulate they have legal precedence to do background checks and further demand they have final say on who gets to be admitted.

< Message edited by enigmaslave -- 1/14/2007 11:12:59 AM >


_____________________________

my appreciation to A/all who have read my opinion.
enigmaslave

slrn 000145067

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: How far would you be willing to take your BSDM Life... - 1/14/2007 10:46:06 AM   
enigmaslave


Posts: 146
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline
Daddysredhead

ah mon cheri, c'est une bon idee,
peut-être tu peux venir dans l'ete, nest pas?  

(I hopes that mades sence LOL)

_____________________________

my appreciation to A/all who have read my opinion.
enigmaslave

slrn 000145067

(in reply to enigmaslave)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: How far would you be willing to take your BSDM Life... - 1/14/2007 10:52:30 AM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmaslave

Daddysredhead

ah mon cheri, c'est une bon idee,
peut-être tu peux venir dans l'ete, nest pas?  

(I hopes that mades sence LOL)


Je te comprend bien. 
Votre idee...  c'est tres amusee...  L'ete au canada, chouette.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to enigmaslave)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: How far would you be willing to take your BSDM Life... - 1/14/2007 10:55:58 AM   
pixelslave


Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmaslave

First off, let’s make the fallowing presumption.
The environment and the amount of space would be self determining of whether couples would chose to continue to live there. 2000 sq feet may seem like a lot for a single, but a couple its starts getting a little tighter, and then add a child or two ....well I say no more.



You might be surprised at the number of families that live in less than 2000 sq feet!  Its all a matter of how efficiently the space is used.  I'd venture to say that its actually the size of a typical house throughout most of the US for a family of 4.  In certain areas its probably quite a bit larger than average, but then that's part of how one determines an average.


quote:



My vision for this property was that it would be in area away from any sizable population. The housing on the property would be large circle of 20 town houses surrounding the perimeter of the property, and then a 10 story condominium building in the middle.



If there are going to be unmentionables, the local education system must be able to support the increase in addtional student population.  Ditto for electrical, water, and sewage services support as these all have a fixed cost associated with providing them.  I won't get into roads and the like.  Suffice it to say that I have a limited knowledge of the home building industry.
 
Economics is far more than the cost of building the facilities.  There must be jobs available for the residents unless this will be only for those who are in a position to take an early retirement or who are otherwise self-employed where they can work from home, etc.  Transportation to and from a major source of employment would otherwise be a significant issue.  A really big issue for those of us in the US, which I'm guessing is a large part of the membership here on CM, then becomes the Canadian equivalent of "Green Cards" which would become a concern for many as well.  You might ask yourself with 10 floors of residents, how many jobs would the local economy need to be able to provide to sustain such a project's livelihood? 
 
I know you drive long distance bus, but would suggest there are perhaps other more suitable locations for such an enterprise than so far outside of a major employment source of varied jobs without a 2 or more hour commute each way.  Not to sound so negative, but who wants to live their life commuting all day, leaving no time for their partner and play??
 

quote:



When the time came, and people wanted to move on, they would sell their shares back to the complex, rather having to wait for months for the unit to find a buyer.



For the owner of a unit this is absolutely an excellent idea and makes the concept far more appealing!  At the same time, it could also easily bankrupt the corporation!  I'd suggest you research Condominiums and Private Apartments to discover the various models which are used for their ownership and management to discover how feasible and practical this model of ownership would actually be.  I have never heard of this kind of model, so would be a bit concerned about its viability. 
 
There would also be the issue of concern for owners about appreciation of their investment; something reasonably assured in most vanilla neighborhoods.  Its not clear how one's investment in the type of situation you describe would appreciate in value at anything close to that of private ownership.  However, I do see how it would mitigate the potential for the downside loss in equity due only to association with the activities that go on inside by the residents.  There'd likely be issues obtaining finanacing in this kind of situation where the bank would have no equity in something tangible it could sell at auction should they need to foreclose on the buyer for not meeting their loan obligation to the bank.  In which case the corporation might need to be in a position to finance the purchase of stock.  Not a good prospectus for the company if you ask me in terms of its viability and profitability.
 
Just a few of my thoughts on the issues that would be of concern to me.
 
 - pixel

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to enigmaslave)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: How far would you be willing to take your BSDM Life... - 1/14/2007 11:00:48 AM   
enigmaslave


Posts: 146
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline
Pixel....
Awsome thoughts and ideas.
Thank you !!

BTW re. 2000 sq ft....
normally I use metric, so it was a quesstimate, I later found out my parents home is 3 levels and 1500 sq ft

Sorry....

< Message edited by enigmaslave -- 1/14/2007 11:06:04 AM >


_____________________________

my appreciation to A/all who have read my opinion.
enigmaslave

slrn 000145067

(in reply to pixelslave)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: How far would you be willing to take your BSDM Life... - 1/14/2007 2:28:46 PM   
LTRsubNW


Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline
Enigma....join the real world.

Nixon didn't publicly proclaim any involvement in Watergate, Reagan didn't publicly proclaim any involvement in Iran/Contra and Madonna didn't publicly proclaim an adoption of a little boy from a guy in Africa.

(But they all made the news).

Buy a clue pal.

< Message edited by LTRsubNW -- 1/14/2007 2:31:55 PM >


_____________________________

Small deeds will always mean more than large intentions.

(in reply to enigmaslave)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: How far would you be willing to take your BSDM Life... - 1/14/2007 3:14:26 PM   
enigmaslave


Posts: 146
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline
I think we need some new Pot Pourri, this batch isn't strong enought to cover this new awful odour.


_____________________________

my appreciation to A/all who have read my opinion.
enigmaslave

slrn 000145067

(in reply to LTRsubNW)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: How far would you be willing to take your BSDM Life... - 1/14/2007 3:37:59 PM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline
I dont know Canadian Law but in the US it is illegal to deny housing to anyone based on their sexual orientation. I can see a lawsuit happening the first time someone is denied approval based on being vanilla.

Of course..that might be an interesting case to follow..

Just an observation.

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to enigmaslave)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: How far would you be willing to take your BSDM Life... - 1/14/2007 4:53:19 PM   
HollyS


Posts: 230
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline
To the OP:

I fall into that group from whom you did not want to hear -- the "I have a job and a family" group.  Oh well.

Others have made several excellent points re: the significant challenges with starting such a place.  Here are a couple issues that haven't been raised:

quote:

ORIGINAL: pixelslave

If there are going to be unmentionables, the local education system must be able to support the increase in addtional student population.  


Before even considering the local school system, I'd wonder about having unmentionables in this community at all.  Nudism is one thing (and trust me, Sunny Haven has it's share of regular picketers/protesters), a community of BDSMers raising children with full knowledge of the kink would be a PR nightmare.  I don't know what the laws are in Canada, but in the US people have lost custody in divorce cases where one partner's BDSM tendencies are outed.  Sadism, masochism, bondage, and master/slave relationships are not generally considered appropriate subjects/environments for young ones.

Would such a community have it's own police force?  You know, made up only of those who understand WIITWD?  To do so, in the US one would need to incorporate as an independent town, otherwise all private communities fall under the local jurisdiction of the town/city where they are built (though such communities may employ private security as an adjunct service).  What concerns do you envision with involving local law enforcement in issues where there are BDSM elements?  A few examples may be: 
  • "She stole my spanking bench!"
  • "I safeworded and he didn't stop, arrest him for assault!"
  • "Officer, I live across the way over there and I heard that there's a girl being held in a cage in that house!"
These are what come to mind, though with some more time I'm sure I'll come up with some others.  You seem to want a community where people are "free to be you and me" in a social climate where most people are not comfortable with WIITWD.  Interestingly enough, there's a thread raging on another list I read where people are debating what constitutes proper etiquette at public events and appropriate clothing in places shared by kinky folk and our vanilla brethern.  What would you consider a reasonable response to community members who might find it fun to "scare the villagers" with open displays of kinky activities or dress?

JMO, of course.

~Holly

_____________________________

I wish my lawn were emo, so it would cut itself.

(in reply to pixelslave)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: How far would you be willing to take your BSDM Life... - 1/14/2007 4:54:07 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmaslave
How far would you be willing to take your BSDM Life style?


Into reality, where surrender and control is real.

The frivolity of erotic games—acted out by even the most beautiful—rouse neither my mind nor male part.

(in reply to enigmaslave)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: How far would you be willing to take your BSDM Life... - 1/31/2007 9:35:24 PM   
alovelylady4U


Posts: 67
Joined: 1/15/2005
From: leeli
Status: offline
Waldon Two by BF Skinner covers some of the basic issues of living "poly." It was an idea of  what if?  how? can it work?+ more. CA still has a few of these "More Houses" near Berk. Campus i believe. The issues of children would probably be much like any other community. (Mormons come to mind) Legal vs. not would depend on the local, state and fed regs.  Privacy is understood according to the House Rules? All kinds of "Families" hold all kinds of secrets-Japan had such over population, i once was told that anything over heard  through the thin paper like walls was never repeated. A matter of "honor" "respect"  possibly. Can it work? It does work every day in a many ways in many cultures. On a side note if i remember correctly, Skinner's daughter sued him when she became an adult for all the interesting moments of her childhood?  i could be wrong of course and i was about  to reference fluffy white cotton balls, but decided no.....

_____________________________

Life is a smorgasbord and most poor suckers are starving to death

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: How far would you be willing to take your BSDM Life... - 1/31/2007 9:59:33 PM   
mantis65


Posts: 456
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Amaros

Yes lot's Devils advocacy, I'd say if you aren't interested, just say so - anyway, how about this property?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/property/main.jhtml?xml=/property/2007/01/06/pdrac06.xml





BDSM or not.... living in Castle Dracula would be very cool ....
To add to your devils advocate thing there is stigmatized.” real estate with “history” in every country that is hard to sell because of some horrific event.

http://recenter.tamu.edu/news/09-1005.html

http://realtytimes.com/rtguide/rtcpages/What_Is_Stigmatized_Property

Then again I am a freak I would live in the Amityville house (yes I know a hoax but still cool)

(in reply to Amaros)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: How far would you be willing to take your BSDM Life... - 1/31/2007 10:07:10 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline
no, i like living close to stuff too much, really (i feel displaced if i'm not at least in a small city, mainly because i can't drive and i enjoy being able to walk places). besides, He's not particularly social and i don't think He'd like living in a community. i also have served on a board of directors (not for a bdsm organization, but for a religious community) and i really like to avoid the kind of politics that can crop up in small communities as much as possible.

but it does seem like a very interesting idea...you may want to seek out info on places like the we'moon community - it's a coop of women living together - might give you some ideas on the legalities, etc. checking out other world kingdom might be an idea, too, although i'm not sure that's close enough to what you are looking at to be of any help.


< Message edited by hisannabelle -- 1/31/2007 10:08:33 PM >

(in reply to enigmaslave)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: How far would you be willing to take your BSDM Life... - 2/1/2007 2:23:20 AM   
BootBlackBlast


Posts: 378
Joined: 10/23/2006
Status: offline
Maybe I'm just feeling really lucky today, but I already live in such a compound. The local law enforcement is tolerant and understanding. Marijuana is even a stated and declared low priority offense. My neighbors completely understand and don't do double takes when I mention my houseboy and my girlfriends husband. My friends have never flinched when they see my toys hanging on my bedroom wall. There are plenty of bars, clubs, and private play spaces just for "our" kind. Munches happen on nearly any day of the week. There are more than 5 serious kink related stores in town, one of which is the benchmark the rest want to live up to. The weather here is moderate in the winter and gorgeous during the summer. Oh wait and in the summer we even have not one but TWO fetish street fairs including the GRANDDADDY OF THEM ALL. The Folsom Street Fair. Just move your life to San Francisco.

_____________________________

Leather Rubbin and Dubbin

Bootblack Blast
Mama's Blast

(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: How far would you be willing to take your BSDM Life... - 2/1/2007 6:57:29 AM   
sting516


Posts: 505
Joined: 9/4/2004
From: long island, ny
Status: offline
one question i would have is, has this been discussed with the community where, if it's like the US, you'll need permits for things...is that community willing to sanction or have their city associated with such a project.

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: How far would you be willing to take your BSDM Life... - 2/1/2007 7:01:20 AM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmaslave

checking in...gaging reaction....hmm very mixed


Boy, that's a positive spin. Good luck hearding the cats. When money is involved, people become 10x more picky.

I'd also echo the sentiments of slavejali and JohnWarren about group dynamics on a board.

By far, though, I think your biggest obstacle is money. Take me, for instance, I don't have that kind of cash for a getaway home.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 2/1/2007 7:10:08 AM >

(in reply to enigmaslave)
Profile   Post #: 59
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: How far would you be willing to take your BSDM Life style? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.156