Dom/mes & subs in search of the PERFECT ONE (Full Version)

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enigmaslave -> Dom/mes & subs in search of the PERFECT ONE (1/12/2007 7:00:18 AM)

Back in the early 1980’s a young boy had shown tremendous natural talent as a guitar player.

From the time he discovered his own talents and interests, the young man would play and practice for nearly five hours a day, for many years into the future on his 6 string acoustic guitar.

While practicing at an after school hot spot in Birmingham, his talents came to the attention of a local music composer and to the people in the community around him,

The composer was best friends with a conductor from one of London's smaller but promising orchestras, “Her Majesties Royal Orchestra of London”.

At 14 years of age he was invited to play with “Her Majesties Royal Orchestra of London”, an honor that is not often extended to youth, and really should not be taken lightly. Yet, the young teenager passed on this opportunity stating that he didn’t feel ready yet.

Many of his greatest supporters, although slightly confused, supported him, and his decision. They argued that it was one of the greatest honors to be asked to play with “Her Majesties Royal Orchestra of London” and quite possibly before the Queen. However, it would be a terrible life blunder should he have failed.

The critics agreed, and he was allowed to practice, for a few more months.

The teenager honestly believed that he had not perfected his playing style, and as such was feeling apprehensive about performing. The reality was, only he could see, and hear the flaws.

He practiced for the next 5 years. And in that time more then 60 invitations had come and gone. And he passed them all, with the same excuse.

When he hit 20 years of age, 6 years after he was initially discovered, he finally decided that he was ready for to perform before a large audience. Unfortunately, he had not realized that in the last year, the invitation had stopped.

When he attempted to call all of the orchestras that had previously invited him, they all stated that they were not interested any more. When he inquired to the reason they all replied, there was a new guitar player they were seeking. He was that was 8 years old and he was playing a double neck guitar, with 12 strings on the bottom neck and 6 on the top neck.

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Even though this story is fiction, these situations happen each day.

Many Dom/mes and subs continually pass over potential partners in hopes of finding the PERFECT ONE.

Caution would be advised, in the long run, they may find others will begin to loose interest in them.




slavejali -> RE: Dom/mes & subs in search of the PERFECT ONE (1/12/2007 7:09:35 AM)

Thats a wonderful parable... I think we can get all caught up in that if we arent careful, just in everyday life..waiting for everything to be perfect before we step into something...example....Master runs a martial arts school....a lot of peoples excuses not to start is.."they aren't fit"......I bet in 5 years time they still wont be fit...




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Dom/mes & subs in search of the PERFECT ONE (1/12/2007 7:20:42 AM)

Balance in everything.  I have no problems immediately rejecting someone, and I have no problems taking months to make decisions on relationships.  I refuse to settle, but I also refuse to be trapped by my expectations.




valeca -> RE: Dom/mes & subs in search of the PERFECT ONE (1/12/2007 7:38:33 AM)

Based on your story (In particular this-- "...passed on this opportunity stating that he didn’t feel ready yet.") :

The question begs, "Should you become involved in a relationship before you feel you are ready?  Even though there is a possibility you may pass over something exceptional/wonderful?"

For myself, I'd say no.  You shouldn't.

Having said that, I believe there is a time for risk/to leap in with both feet, and a time to make use of the same sort of caution the boy in the story used.

I enjoyed the read.  Thanks.




Devilslilsister -> RE: Dom/mes & subs in search of the PERFECT ONE (1/12/2007 8:02:00 AM)

There is no perfect "one" only perfect for me. 

i believe life is a stepping stone.... 




enigmaslave -> RE: Dom/mes & subs in search of the PERFECT ONE (1/12/2007 8:04:25 AM)

Jes check'n in,
awsome feedback so far!




ardelle -> RE: Dom/mes & subs in search of the PERFECT ONE (1/12/2007 8:14:57 AM)

greetings
 
i don't believe in perfection, so waiting for such a fantasy is unrealistic. i do however think that with each relationship, one learns something new that they can then take to the next.
 
i have very high standards in what i would wish in a Master; yet i also know that those standards may not be met, i may have to compromise in some areas at some time. It may come to pass that the one i compromise the most with is in fact the one who comes closest to that which i would seek.




mstrjx -> RE: Dom/mes & subs in search of the PERFECT ONE (1/12/2007 9:06:24 AM)

It has to be said however, that once you've spent what seems to be a lifetime with stepping stones it's already too late to start looking for the pot at the end of the rainbow.  In fact, you lost sight of the rainbow ages ago whilst watching where you're stepping.

Then what?  More stepping stones?

Jeff




enigmaslave -> RE: Dom/mes & subs in search of the PERFECT ONE (1/12/2007 9:09:40 AM)

Thank you MOD 17




toservez -> RE: Dom/mes & subs in search of the PERFECT ONE (1/12/2007 9:25:56 AM)

In general a great story that holds much merit. People looking for perfection in themselves, another or a situation are almost always setting themselves up for failure. There is a great line in a Sheryl Crowe song “It is not having what you want but wanting what you have” that I think speaks to that as well.

That being said, when bringing that wisdom to a relationship basis, especially online pursuits it is more complicated then just try and see type thing. The trick is knowing what is critical to you and what is a bonus to you. What a need is to one person maybe a like to another and vice versa. An approach of lets just try this with out any reflection on one’s needs is just as foolish then waiting for magical perfection.

Also applying this to online, sure there are potential missed great opportunities by women who do not reply back positive to men for what ever reason. This very well might not have anything to do with waiting for perfection but having to make arbitrary decisions based on all their messages on the whole. One cannot see where this goes to every message they receive.





MasterFireMaam -> RE: Dom/mes & subs in search of the PERFECT ONE (1/12/2007 11:04:24 AM)

There's an analogy that I was taught several years ago about success and going for it and not being afraid of failure:

If you wait for all the lights to be green before you begin to cross town, you will never make it. However, if you drive from light to light, red or not, you will eventually make it.

Master Fire




MasterWilliam55 -> RE: Dom/mes & subs in search of the PERFECT ONE (1/12/2007 12:44:06 PM)

You will never really know when your ready. We waste opportunities and a lot of time, making the excuse we are not ready. I think that's the gist of the original post. This lifestyle, proves the cliche, "experience is the best teacher".
Yes, gain some preliminary knowledge, read some books, visit forums and chat rooms. But at the end of the day,
you have to jump into the pool in order to learn how to swim.




"the ramblings of an old dom"




Missokyst -> RE: Dom/mes & subs in search of the PERFECT ONE (1/12/2007 12:58:11 PM)

There is no perfect one. 
Nor perfect one for me. 
What there is, is something that works, and that can be worked on together to make things wonderful and worth the time.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: Devilslilsister
There is no perfect "one" only perfect for me. 




bandit25 -> RE: Dom/mes & subs in search of the PERFECT ONE (1/12/2007 2:05:57 PM)

You're absolutely right, MasterWilliam.  You're never really ready for anything...kids, marriage, buying a home.  Trust Nike: Just Do It!




mellian -> RE: Dom/mes & subs in search of the PERFECT ONE (1/12/2007 8:03:03 PM)

Agree, no point waiting forever for the "perfect one for me", yet such opportunities haven't arrive and the minor ones that have tend to be "bad for me and others" or completly impractical due to distance and location.

-mellian




whisperedsighs -> RE: Dom/mes & subs in search of the PERFECT ONE (1/12/2007 8:31:20 PM)

(fast reply)

I'm not expecting perfection, but somewhere inside the realm of human would be nice!




ownedgirlie -> RE: Dom/mes & subs in search of the PERFECT ONE (1/12/2007 9:14:22 PM)

~ Fast Reply ~

The story reminded me so much of my ex husband, who would never get up on stage and perform because he "wasn't ready" or he didn't "know enough yet."  Meanwhile all the amateurs encouragnig him to go up with them have since gone on to record CDs and such.  I used to tell him, "Life is passing us by while you are planning for it."  John Lennon was right in his song, Beautiful Boy - "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

As to the question, should one enter a relationship before one is ready for it?  I did.  I was SO not ready for a relationship.  I was the epitome of everything you see talked about so often on these forums - no sense of self, no self confidence, total insecurity, weak, didn't have my shit together, didn't know myself well, and really really NOT ready to be in a relationship.  And then he came along. And I knew I could not pass up what he offered.  I took a chance, scared as can be.  If I hadn't, I would probably not be around anymore.

To quote another song, Phil Collins' I'm Not Moving - "If you feel it, do it.  You don't need a reason, for all you know it could be good for you."

[:)]




MasterWilliam55 -> RE: Dom/mes & subs in search of the PERFECT ONE (1/13/2007 8:28:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mellian

Agree, no point waiting forever for the "perfect one for me", yet such opportunities haven't arrive and the minor ones that have tend to be "bad for me and others" or completly impractical due to distance and location.

-mellian



Waiting for the perfect One is futile. No relationship starts off perfectly. It either grows into perfection, or doesn't.




enigmaslave -> RE: Dom/mes & subs in search of the PERFECT ONE (1/13/2007 8:43:01 AM)

MasterWilliam55
I should have consulted you before I made my elaborate story,
You hit the nail on the head; of what it was I wanted to communicate.

However, I think we as humans like to hear parable and stories.




dawntreader -> RE: Dom/mes & subs in search of the PERFECT ONE (1/13/2007 10:15:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: whisperedsighs

(fast reply)

I'm not expecting perfection, but somewhere inside the realm of human would be nice!

LMAO!
Please forgive me for laughing! But i found this quite hysterical this morning in regards to my own life!




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