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RE: Submissive in relationship.... - 1/12/2007 8:19:15 AM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
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quote:

"I have no Choice"

If i had a choice - the relationship i was in at 18 would of ended 6 months in when things were noticably changed for the worse. I had no choice, yet i also made a choice to regain my choice back. A year into it, after 6 months of fighting to leave - i knew i was stuck and there was no way out, but one. My choices were "stay where you are or die" I chose death as the choice to leave was beyond my ability. I was not staying in that relationship, yet leaving it was impossible.

you do not know what its like to barracade yourself in your house trying to hold on to your choice.
you do not know what its like to "disappear" only to reappear and finding out your mother has been terrorized
you do not know what its like asking for help and being deserted by those that love you instead

you have never had to fight tooth and nail to have a choice.

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i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

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RE: Submissive in relationship.... - 1/12/2007 8:57:37 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

I think, submissives, by their very action of being submissive, lose the ability of choice after being taken, and that is what it is to be enslaved.

this slave thinks there are submissives who view their ability to choose, after being taken, as something they need to have control over in order to reconcile submitting to another as a healthy, happy relationship option for them.

they don't want to label themselves or their participation in their relationship as a drone, a doormat, a co-dependent, vulnerable, a slave, mentally ill, socially unacceptable,etc. reserving their "right to choose", whether it be when the scene will stop or when the relationship will stop is essential to their comfort, emotional or mental well-being. after all, complete and total surrender of yourself and relinquishing "choice" to another human being's control goes against what a majority of society deems proper.

Disclaimer: not that there is anything wrong with that

this slave is not one of them.

the last choice this slave made of her own was to serve Master and His choices. she is dependent on Him, enslaved to Him and can't imagine a scenario that would make this slave want her ability to choose for her own to be restored to her.

(in reply to slavejali)

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RE: Submissive in relationship.... - 1/12/2007 9:11:44 AM

Sunshine119

Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

they don't want to label themselves or their participation in their relationship as a drone, a doormat, a co-dependent, vulnerable, a slave, mentally ill, socially unacceptable,etc.

Co-dependency is underrated IMHO. In the mental health field, this terms is always bantied about as being the death knell for people who are trying to get OUT of bad relationships. One social worker or psychiatrist will say to another : "Ah, her problem is that she is co-dependent".

Rarely do they realize that we are ALL co-dependent upon others in every relationship. When we go to get gas, we have a sort of "co-dependent" relationship with the owner of the gas station. He NEEDS to sell us his gas. We NEED to buy his gas.

In human relationships that involve more intense dynamics, co-dependency seems to me to be healthy, necessary and beautiful. Even the psychiatrist would have to admit s/he is co-dependent upon hir spouse, if they were honest.

Give me co-dependency and my relationship as a submissive to my dominant any time! It sure beats the lonely existence of not being in relationship.

Sunshine

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Post #: 23

RE: Submissive in relationship.... - 1/12/2007 9:47:46 AM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

I wonder though, when I do make statements like "if this such and such a thing happened, my submission and slavery would be threatened"...how much validity that has...because simply, its never been tested..I haven't had a partner since that time who has threatened my ethics..and i wonder if it did happen whether I would jsut repeat the same submissive (enslaved) attitude to it that I did in my first relationship..and all my sprouting of..."I wouldn't be submissive or enslaved anymore" is all bullshit. I guess realistically, the only change would be that i would know now the repercussion of my choice to accept that thing that is going against what I believe to be true inside me...and that knowledge would over-ride the event being able to eat me away on the inside because I' more conscious now of embracing my submission as myself and knowing it is my submission that feeds me, rather than events itself.

My submission(slavery) within relationship has never changed, however I guess in my explorations through the course of my life, I've realised that every choice we make is going to have an effect and a deep impact on our lives and so realised how incredibly important those moments of choice are in our lives. Once you've been taken you're fucked as a submissive if you've made the wrong choice.

I think, submissives, by their very action of being submissive, lose the ability of choice after being taken, and that is what it is to be enslaved.

Well..there are my thoughts for the day.

Any thoughts?

I think for some people if something happens their submission would be threatened, I think for some people it wouldn’t be threatened (and sometimes what you think will happens ends up being the exact reverse. I think that some morals and principles are less set in stone than others and can/do change over time due to whatever sort of influences. So I think they can change due to a dominants influence, and I’m not convinced it’s a bad thing.

I’ve definitely seen in some areas how my principles have changed due to my owners influence, but I view it as a process that happens over time and has to do ultimately with a decision over which is more important – keeping the dominant or keeping the principle/moral belief.

What I’ve learned in my relationship with my owner is that its not that I don’t have a choice, but that keeping him in my life has been more important than any difficulties, adjustments in my beliefs or adjustments in my life are. So I don’t view it as me having lost the ability of choice, its that the choice for what is most important is abundantly clear.

C~

< Message edited by Wildfleurs -- 1/12/2007 9:48:13 AM >

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"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

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Post #: 24