Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Taken in Hand relationships


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Taken in Hand relationships Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Taken in Hand relationships - 1/7/2007 2:23:05 PM   
moongoddessxxo


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline
I am curious about a Taken in Hand relationship, and would be interested in learning more if anyone here knows more about them.  I understand that it is a monogamous, loving, committed relationship, and the man is in charge, things like that.  I have my children in the home, as well, so it seems more suited for me.  Some of the aspects of BDSM scare me.  And I am looking for a true caring relationship.  I feel that I am a sub, but don't think I am able to be a slave, either. 
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Taken in Hand relationships - 1/7/2007 2:27:51 PM   
Caitriona


Posts: 327
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline
The only source of information on this topic that I know of is:

http://www.takeninhand.com/

Which I figure you might have already seen, but there it is just in case.


_____________________________

Property of Shadowraven
Serving alongside ciarra

(in reply to moongoddessxxo)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Taken in Hand relationships - 1/7/2007 2:34:00 PM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
My knowledge of taken in hand relationship is that it is D/s light and I do not mean that in anyway as a put down. It is basically a spouse being the head of the household, usually the man, and he sets the rules. Like a sterner 1950’s type situation.

What take in hand does is use one form of pain, spanking as it’s physical discipline tool instead of more toys, areas on the body and other things a D/s relationship might use to instill discipline.

I guess in summary it is a strong vanilla D/s relationship with minimal to no kink. There are a few nice websites on it that you can find with a simple google search.


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to moongoddessxxo)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Taken in Hand relationships - 1/7/2007 2:45:58 PM   
BDSM05478


Posts: 417
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline
from reading your post and profile, I would say some form of daddy-isc might be an area of intrest....... but I think you would have more luck in the vanilla market than any alt arena.

_____________________________

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" U.E. McGill

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Taken in Hand relationships - 1/7/2007 2:50:29 PM   
innatedesire


Posts: 111
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline
I agree

(in reply to BDSM05478)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Taken in Hand relationships - 1/7/2007 3:11:58 PM   
NaiveTempest


Posts: 345
Joined: 11/20/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline
Good info to know. Never heard of this but it makes sense for some people who struggle with the D/s or M/s dynamics. A sort of low-key D/s relationship. Vanilla...but not.

< Message edited by NaiveTempest -- 1/7/2007 3:12:24 PM >

(in reply to Caitriona)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Taken in Hand relationships - 1/7/2007 4:17:30 PM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
Well, they have a yahoo group and I joined it to see what it was about.
Evidently they are not interested in those who may not be married but still would want to live their lives this way. It appears to be very much a couples thing. So, while they do have a yahoo group in which to learn more about what they say straight from the horse's mouth, so to speak, they would prefer it if you didn't speak  if you happen to not be married.

Beyond that, I didn't see much difference between them and what they profess they are NOT.

juliet

(in reply to NaiveTempest)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Taken in Hand relationships - 1/7/2007 4:34:46 PM   
Hisgirlforever


Posts: 32
Joined: 11/14/2006
Status: offline
I am in a Taken in Hand, HOH (Head Of Household) or Domestic Discipline relationship with my husband 24/7 all the time. Here is a great site that has lots of info and great people who are very accepting, it is mostly married men and women were the Man is the head of the household but we have members who are single, gay, female dominate, etc. Anyway check it out if you want more info

http://ddrelationships.com/phpBB/index.php

(in reply to julietsierra)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Taken in Hand relationships - 1/7/2007 5:04:38 PM   
JolieGirl


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline
I am in a taken in hand relationship now.  For me, it is perfect.  He is the head of the household.  For us its more than just spanking,  but the best part is   no nipple clamps.    Yea.    I really dont like them.  

(in reply to Hisgirlforever)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Taken in Hand relationships - 1/7/2007 5:18:33 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
Is that a new term for the whole "domestic discipline" thing?

IMO it's just a justification for the wife to submit to the husband and do some spanking.  Lots of people find they are more free to be kinky and set clear gender based rules in the relationship if they have a label to put on it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to JolieGirl)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Taken in Hand relationships - 1/7/2007 5:20:24 PM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hisgirlforever

I am in a Taken in Hand, HOH (Head Of Household) or Domestic Discipline relationship with my husband 24/7 all the time. Here is a great site that has lots of info and great people who are very accepting, it is mostly married men and women were the Man is the head of the household but we have members who are single, gay, female dominate, etc. Anyway check it out if you want more info

http://ddrelationships.com/phpBB/index.php



Great link His!  i am also into the TiH and when i ever get around to reposting my profile, i will be including this in it.  Glad to hear yours works for you 
 
Daddysgirl

(in reply to Hisgirlforever)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Taken in Hand relationships - 1/7/2007 5:33:33 PM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Is that a new term for the whole "domestic discipline" thing?

It's very closely related and some do interchange the two terms.

IMO it's just a justification for the wife to submit to the husband and do some spanking.  Lots of people find they are more free to be kinky and set clear gender based rules in the relationship if they have a label to put on it.

It's really no different than any other labels people use....sub, slave, switch, top, bottom, dom, Master...etc.   And for some, it's not about the kink. 
 
i once belonged to a DD group where there was a couple, both around 39 yrs old at the time.  Her father was a Minister and she grew up in a DD household, where the mother deferred to the father and spanking was used as a form of discipline, for both her and the mother, and not for kink.  She married a guy who was raised in the same dynamic, and they shared the same dynamic and raised their daughter the same way.  In neither case was the spanking a 'kink'.   As a matter of fact, there was no bdsm involved at all....their 'play' or sex was strictly vanilla. 
 
So some do live this for other reasons than the kink. 
 
DG


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Taken in Hand relationships - 1/7/2007 6:11:16 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline
I have spent some time reading the Taken in hand website, and think it's an excellent site to read. I really think a "taken in hand" relationship could be just about anything you wan it to be, ultimately - but it is basically a D/s relationship.  Much of the writing available on that site seems to focus on spanking, rather than other bdsm activity, but - that could just be the only stories I've read include spanking. There's a LOT to read on that site.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to moongoddessxxo)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Taken in Hand relationships - 1/7/2007 6:25:00 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
You and i must have been reading the site at the same time!lol
And i agree with your view on it...


quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

I have spent some time reading the Taken in hand website, and think it's an excellent site to read. I really think a "taken in hand" relationship could be just about anything you wan it to be, ultimately - but it is basically a D/s relationship.  Much of the writing available on that site seems to focus on spanking, rather than other bdsm activity, but - that could just be the only stories I've read include spanking. There's a LOT to read on that site.

- Susan


_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Taken in Hand relationships - 1/8/2007 6:30:49 AM   
mbes


Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl
i once belonged to a DD group where there was a couple, both around 39 yrs old at the time. Her father was a Minister and she grew up in a DD household, where the mother deferred to the father and spanking was used as a form of discipline, for both her and the mother, and not for kink. She married a guy who was raised in the same dynamic, and they shared the same dynamic and raised their daughter the same way. In neither case was the spanking a 'kink'. As a matter of fact, there was no bdsm involved at all....their 'play' or sex was strictly vanilla.


I'm curious as to why you say that there was no bdsm involved? It appears to me that there is discipline, dominance, and submission in a relationship of that nature, no?

(in reply to adaddysgirl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Taken in Hand relationships - 1/8/2007 7:26:17 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mbes

quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl
i once belonged to a DD group where there was a couple, both around 39 yrs old at the time. Her father was a Minister and she grew up in a DD household, where the mother deferred to the father and spanking was used as a form of discipline, for both her and the mother, and not for kink. She married a guy who was raised in the same dynamic, and they shared the same dynamic and raised their daughter the same way. In neither case was the spanking a 'kink'. As a matter of fact, there was no bdsm involved at all....their 'play' or sex was strictly vanilla.


I'm curious as to why you say that there was no bdsm involved? It appears to me that there is discipline, dominance, and submission in a relationship of that nature, no?


Because those are the principals of D/s.  BDSM, while it includes for many the D/s portion within the acronym, is made distinct by many people as the "play" or "scene" portion of their D/s-BDSM relationship.  For many, you can have Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism without ever coming near D/s.

(in reply to mbes)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Taken in Hand relationships - 1/8/2007 9:59:50 AM   
mbes


Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline
Thanks for the answer.
I wrap all the letters up in one big ball of wax, and forget that not everyone does so.
But even taking out the d/s, that still leaves discipline, does it not?
While I can be argumentative, in this case I'm still wondering what the difference is? Or if there really is one?

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Taken in Hand relationships - 1/8/2007 12:19:31 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mbes

Thanks for the answer.
I wrap all the letters up in one big ball of wax, and forget that not everyone does so.
But even taking out the d/s, that still leaves discipline, does it not?
While I can be argumentative, in this case I'm still wondering what the difference is? Or if there really is one?


Well...to me there seems to be a certain aspect of dominance and submission so D/s is covered.  But from what I can tell from my readings on the site given, there is no Bondage, no Sadism, and no Masochism.  The Discipline...mainly in the form of corporal punishment and that mainly in the form of spanking...is there to enforce adherence to the rules and principles of the TIH relationship and not for any sexuality.

Since my take may be wrong given my newness to this subject, if there is someone more enlightened than I about this subject matter or someone with experience in it out there, could you please help to clarify this for me?

(in reply to mbes)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Taken in Hand relationships - 1/8/2007 7:39:40 PM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

Well...to me there seems to be a certain aspect of dominance and submission so D/s is covered.  But from what I can tell from my readings on the site given, there is no Bondage, no Sadism, and no Masochism.  The Discipline...mainly in the form of corporal punishment and that mainly in the form of spanking...is there to enforce adherence to the rules and principles of the TIH relationship and not for any sexuality.

Since my take may be wrong given my newness to this subject, if there is someone more enlightened than I about this subject matter or someone with experience in it out there, could you please help to clarify this for me?


i think you have it right CD.   i guess i mostly forget that others mean more than BD SM when i use the term BDSM.  Yes, TiH does involve a D/s relationship but in many case no BD SM.  Quite honestly, i'm not so sure how bondage and discipline came to be clumped together in the first place.  i mean, some can be into discipline without bondage, and vice versa, no?  But since it's an already established coupling, it's kind of hard to use one term without the other. 
 
As for myself, when i was disciplined, i was not 'bondaged' except for the rare times it was going to be so severe that my partner did not want the distraction of me trying to get away (afterall, i'm not a masochist  )  But there was no sexual element to the bondage in those cases......noooooo!
 
Now for me, i like the kink and bondage during play.....so it has not been easy to find a partner in that lifestyle.  But i know there are others out there like me too so i really don't worry about it.  It's funny....when i was bondaged for play, it was usually coupled with blindfolding, a flogging, and lots of kinky sex play.  Didn't see any discipline in that....lol.
 
i think you gave some great answers here CD.  i hope mbes' questions were answered too.
 
DG

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Taken in Hand relationships - 1/8/2007 7:56:36 PM   
speednut


Posts: 23
Joined: 5/23/2004
Status: offline
oops, wandered in thinking it was a thread on masterbation, I really need to read more.

(in reply to adaddysgirl)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Taken in Hand relationships Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.125