RE: Living Together or Not?

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RE: Living Together or Not? - 12/22/2006 7:36:40 PM

losttreasure

Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Egads Lost- you mean you simply go with what IS and are happy with what you have together?

Surely that will never work!

*sighs* Yeah... I know. If the Submissive Alliance finds out, I'll surely lose my membership.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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Post #: 21

RE: Living Together or Not? - 12/23/2006 3:31:45 AM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
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maia, you have my sympathy for the tough personal time - i too lost a friend to suicide and had my eldest, blind dog put down within 2 months earlier this year, and those experiences are hard to get through with clarity. But get through you do, eventually, as you realise. And i commend you for the way you have learned from the replies to this thread, and i am sure this will help as you find your way into your slavery to your "owner". i say "your slavery" as i think it really is unique to you and yours, as mine is unique to myself and mine, and to Tammyjo and fox etc etc etc! However, you seem to have what is the core now, that it is more about commitment than about feelings. While i do now live 24/7 with Master, there are still times when i do not "feel" particularly subby, especially when you take into account that the other half of Me is Domme LOL! Master sometimes gently reminds me that "your capitals are showing pet" or "and just who was that speaking to Me??" But my commitment is to be His slave and that's what keeps me going through those nonsubbyfeeling times ... and seeing the pleasure He gets from my service brings on that warm subby glow. When W/we are apart, for example, when i am in another state at a conference, He understands that i cannot be besotted 24/7 with Him ... i am there for a purpose and it is His wish that i devote myself to that. But as soon as i talk to Him on the phone at the end of the day ... i am sooo wanting to be with Him again. So i would say to you this, relish the feelings when they are they, honour the commitment when they are not. And while each M/s tends to arrive at their own practical arrangements eg for how autonomous the slave can be or the level of micromanagement the owner wants to maintain ... a good guiding principle has been suggested by another here ... when your One is not around, ask yourself "what would my Dominant want me to do?" Then do it!

All the best
violet[A] aka Maam Jay

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Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to slavemaia)

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Post #: 22

RE: Living Together or Not? - 12/23/2006 6:26:57 AM

patina

Posts: 493
Joined: 9/14/2006
From: no
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I was given this site to read and it has some great essays on it that have really helped me to understand the slave mind, perspective, feelings, ideal, you may or may not agree with it.

click on the two links of essays Mikael Togneri and Master Eso

I hope these help you.

www.leathernroses.com/mikael/

Patina

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a diamond in the rough

(in reply to Phoenix2raven)

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Post #: 23

RE: Living Together or Not? - 12/23/2006 9:03:16 AM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
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Yup, we go through the same thing. When he's around, obeying is simple as pie. Anything is simple as pie. When he's not around <smilez> to me its more of "whats the point"? He likes the bed made, i could care less. When we talked about it last time i asked him, whats the point if you cant enjoy it? So he helped me out and told me to take a picture and email him every morning. heh.

I've a bed time which has always been there - that i only sometimes follow. Whats the point if he isnt around to see me obeying? So goes alot of little things. I have a very hard hard time obeying if i dont see any benefit or enjoyment coming out of it for him. Partly because alot of things, i just dont care about. I dont care if im up all hours of the night, screwing myself over for the next day. I dont care if my bed isnt made. Yet for "him" i do care. So if you take "him" out of the picture... Which can be really amusing if you think about it, because alot of these little things are also for me. I seriously need my sleep and i always feel better when the bed is made and things "look nice".

So when he's around, in some sense, everything is dedicated to him. He works with me and isnt too bothered and i work with me. I try and tell myself that i am just cutting myself short. Obeying isnt just for him, but also for me. i enjoy obeying, i enjoy these things. Sometimes it works and sometimes i back slide. I just need to learn to do for me as much as i enjoy doing for others. One day.....

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i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

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Post #: 24