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RE: Sour Grapes - 12/22/2006 4:03:26 PM

nikaa

Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline

* get the mental image of Tamer doing the two step and simply cringes at the thought*

Tamer, I am not fond of country but I would love to see you wearing nothing but boots and stir up.*winks*

< Message edited by nikaa -- 12/22/2006 4:06:16 PM >

_____________________________

Blessed Be,

Phoenix's Nika

The Cherokee legacy is that we are a people who face adversity, survive, adapt, prosper and excel.

Wakan Tankan Nici Un

(in reply to Tamerofwild1s)

Post #: 41

RE: Sour Grapes - 12/22/2006 4:08:16 PM

Tamerofwild1s

Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline

actually I am fond of struting around the house in a tight pair of jeans and my long hair flowing behind me ... cowboy hat is optional

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to nikaa)

Post #: 42

RE: Sour Grapes - 12/22/2006 4:19:05 PM

nikaa

Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline

Tamer,

I still like the image of you nude other than boots and stir ups better. *winks* Although your mental image sounds yummy too.

I love long hair on men but then again I also love smooth bald heads. *laughs*

< Message edited by nikaa -- 12/22/2006 4:23:09 PM >

_____________________________

Blessed Be,

Phoenix's Nika

The Cherokee legacy is that we are a people who face adversity, survive, adapt, prosper and excel.

Wakan Tankan Nici Un

(in reply to Tamerofwild1s)

Post #: 43

RE: Sour Grapes - 12/22/2006 4:35:28 PM

Tamerofwild1s

Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline

yay . I fit both .... one head with long flowing hair . and the other bald

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to nikaa)

Post #: 44

RE: Sour Grapes - 12/22/2006 4:39:48 PM

nikaa

Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline

I don't beleive you.
Prove it.

< Message edited by nikaa -- 12/22/2006 4:41:39 PM >

_____________________________

Blessed Be,

Phoenix's Nika

The Cherokee legacy is that we are a people who face adversity, survive, adapt, prosper and excel.

Wakan Tankan Nici Un

(in reply to Tamerofwild1s)

Post #: 45

RE: Sour Grapes - 12/22/2006 5:12:18 PM

Tamerofwild1s

Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline

ask the hundreds who saw it the other night when I was doing a live on cam x-mas special on the radio ...

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to nikaa)

Post #: 46

RE: Sour Grapes - 12/22/2006 5:26:12 PM

nikaa

Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline

Gossip is so childish and I was NEVER a fan of the he said she said.So perhaps you simply need to show me personally.*grins*

_____________________________

Blessed Be,

Phoenix's Nika

The Cherokee legacy is that we are a people who face adversity, survive, adapt, prosper and excel.

Wakan Tankan Nici Un

(in reply to Tamerofwild1s)

Post #: 47

RE: Sour Grapes - 12/22/2006 5:28:40 PM

Tamerofwild1s

Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline

as soon as you get to NY I will

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to nikaa)

Post #: 48

RE: Sour Grapes - 12/22/2006 5:37:30 PM

nikaa

Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline

*blushes all innocent like*

_____________________________

Blessed Be,

Phoenix's Nika

The Cherokee legacy is that we are a people who face adversity, survive, adapt, prosper and excel.

Wakan Tankan Nici Un

(in reply to Tamerofwild1s)

Post #: 49

RE: Sour Grapes - 12/22/2006 5:41:01 PM

Tamerofwild1s

Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline

pffffttttttttttttt . you and innocent will never be in the same room much less the same sentence

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to nikaa)

Post #: 50

RE: Sour Grapes - 12/22/2006 5:43:26 PM

nikaa

Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline

Tamer,

Making me spit hot tea all over my monitor is mean!

_____________________________

Blessed Be,

Phoenix's Nika

The Cherokee legacy is that we are a people who face adversity, survive, adapt, prosper and excel.

Wakan Tankan Nici Un

(in reply to Tamerofwild1s)

Post #: 51

RE: Sour Grapes - 12/22/2006 6:00:01 PM

akbarbarian

Posts: 596
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline

I hate it when people whine, why won't they stooo-ooop?! I hate it I hate it I hate it

Was the irony of this thread noticed by anyone else?

Seriously though, grief and getting over someone and the thoughts of "How could they do that to me", and especially if they idealized them at one point and were disappointed, and then they are devaluing them, well partly they might crave validation of their feeings. After all, they were wrong once what if they are wrong not to go back and try to fix things/beg at the doorstep? It's really a need for therapy talking, or at least a shoulder to cry on. Drunk on misery. Makes you say things that are probably more emotional than logical and thoughtful.

(in reply to nikaa)

Post #: 52

RE: Sour Grapes - 12/22/2006 6:22:49 PM

angelic

Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline

i wonder... is it bad mouthing or trash talking if i say i wish my x would fall into a sewer?

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~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 53

RE: Sour Grapes - 12/22/2006 7:04:27 PM

akbarbarian

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Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

i wonder... is it bad mouthing or trash talking if i say i wish my x would fall into a sewer?

Depends on if it's a good look for him

_____________________________

Out and proud as a dominant male
United we stand!
Also:Not a service top!
Heretic of Gor

(in reply to angelic)

Post #: 54

RE: Sour Grapes - 12/22/2006 10:45:41 PM

meatcleaver

Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

I was thinking 'Poison' would be an apt song.

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Post #: 55

RE: Sour Grapes - 12/22/2006 11:30:47 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

It can be pretty hard to move on, sometimes, it seems. But what is to be gained by hurling disguised or actual blatant venom at someone else in public? In one's own heart one always knows the real, true story (if there ever is a "dissonance" between what is said and what happened) - unless one is self-delusional, that is.

Why fan any potential flames of hatred or hurt? Well okay, maybe it's sometimes tempting. But it probably won't be, in the long-run (my opinion) very wise or productive.

If the goal is to cry, let it out, and let it go - then I do think that's that's okay, if it's done in either a very vague way (no names at all mentioned, and if ya think other people (a few, or a lot of them) are gonna know who you're talking about, then don't say it at all, or say it to a different off-line third party who might be able to be your "shoulder" instead).

This "lashing out" kind of thing might make someone feel temporarily better but, hey: From just a purely practical standpoint, I think it probably 1) Prolongs any anguish (and maybe on both ends) because it may 2) Fuel a desire for retaliation 3) Who's that gonna help, ultimately?

So -you've got a "situation". You have the power to make a choice to be a kind, growth-oriented, "I-can-get-past-this" kind of person, or a vindictive, hurtful, less mature person. That's a lot of power, believe it or not. It's not as small a decision as it might look like, on the surface either, I don't think. It could possibly take every ounce of strength one can muster to not lash out in anger in a personally hurtful way. Then again, who ever said life was always (or ever, perhaps) easy?

This for some, can be in the "easy to say, hard to do" category. So?
That excuses one from even trying? Not really (as my mother used to say).

If that sounds pious or like I've never been there, it's not meant to. I definitely have "been there." (hurt and tempted to lash out and hurt someone in return). Nobody is perfect. The human heart is not immune from ache, that's for sure. I know some things can really, really hurt.

But - life does, ultimately go on and move forward. You won't be able to stop it, no matter what you do. One can maybe find some comfort in that, if nothing else. Time really can be a great healer. Belief in oneself helps tremendously, I think.

Search for that core of yourself that survives, no matter what happens. That little (sometimes very teensy, under such circumstances) tiny part of you that is always hopeful things will actually get much better soon, and that the sun shall indeed rise.

Screw your courage to a sticking place (Shakespeare).

And get on with things. Life is just happier, that way. Or, write lots of bad poetry instead, maybe.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 12/22/2006 11:57:22 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 56

RE: Sour Grapes - 12/22/2006 11:46:51 PM

akbarbarian

Posts: 596
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline

I wish it was that simple, but to get over someone it's critical that you identify why it's not in your best interest to be with them. Until you stop wanting, you don't stop hurting. Getting other people to "help you hate him/her" is a nasty crutch, but one it's hard not to use sometimes.

_____________________________

Out and proud as a dominant male
United we stand!
Also:Not a service top!
Heretic of Gor

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 57

RE: Sour Grapes - 12/22/2006 11:53:41 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

I agree, but disagree it needs to be publicily humiliating or hurtful to another. And in this case (the one you mentioned above), if you know someone is really bad for you, but you still love them (been there, too) - I will actually go so far as to imagine horrible scenarios as far as what our life together would have ultimatley been like, even if it's all made up in my own head, to try to "get past it". That's where a good imagination can be a real lifesaver, I think.

If that doesn't work, distraction can help, I think. Get a part-time job, or do some volunteer stuff, or go out more with other friends. Anything to get your mind off the other person. It might not be what one wants to do at the time, but for me, it's helped.

Wallowing in self-pity and tears for while is okay. But, even I know there is a limit to what that actually accomplishes in the long-run. It can be "healing" and can also be carried to an extreme. If one is in serious, deep, and unrelenting sadness for a prolonged period, for heaven's sake get to a doctor and get an anti-depressant or something. There is no reason to suffer this deeply needlessly, if medical help is a viable option.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 12/22/2006 11:59:45 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to akbarbarian)

Post #: 58

RE: Sour Grapes - 12/23/2006 1:00:33 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO
I agree, but disagree it needs to be publicily humiliating or hurtful to another.

Yeah, for goodness sakes don't publicly slam someone you have been involved with. Show maturity, get over things and move on. I have been the slamee before and it is not fun. I'm sure I was party at fault that things didn't work out, but not enough to have an orchestrated campaign against me because she felt hurt. When emotions had calmed, I discussed the episode with her and she felt bad about it afterwards. Things happen and we don't need Emo music.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 59

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