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RE: Telling close friends and family - 12/22/2006 9:20:25 AM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
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I've learned that when it comes to freinds and family I start out slow and give little bits of information. I don't push my life or views on them. If they ask I tell them enough to answer thier question but I don't over explain. If they want more information then I go deeper.

It's kind of like talking to children. Don't go beyound what they can understand or what they are willing to understand.

My one girlfriend kept asking more and more indepth questions. Rather then trying to answer everything, seeing as I by far can not explain everything, I gave her the literature and a wonderful Documentory Video that I own ( speaking of which i need to remember to get that back lol) She took it home and when she had time she went through it. I was there when she had more questions but it gave her an unbiased view on how WIITWD, works pretty much.

When she came back to me, she said she understood why some people would be into this. It wasn't for her but she now could relate and understand how and why I was the way I was.

It really is easier and better to give them the tools to learn on their own in their own time and speed. Just be there to answer questions.

They don't need to embrace it, but to atleast accept that you are doing what you want and how you want to.

My mother the other day when we were at lunch asked me about Sir and I. She asked " So are you going to let him control your life?"

I answered " I'll give him as much control as we are both comfortable with." and left it at that. I didn't have to go into detail on how we would do it or why.

She was concerned as in the past I have been in a relationship where the guy (nilla) was controlling in a negative way, and was just worried I'd fall back into a bad situation. I used to confuse controlling with Dominance and it took life experience to show me the difference.

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RE: Telling close friends and family - 12/22/2006 1:16:31 PM

mymasterssub69

Posts: 566
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Chicago, IL
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i have yet to tell my family but never will because according to their strong christian beliefs - this type of lifestyle would be considered as a sin. my friends would never understand the special relationship i share with my Daddy.

i know my oldest daughter has an idea that i'm "owned" since Daddy does call my mobile to check out me sometimes however my bosses at the net radio station where i work think it's ultra cool that one of their staffers lives an alternative lifestyle

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RE: Telling close friends and family - 12/22/2006 4:27:47 PM

akbarbarian

Posts: 596
Joined: 12/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel
In my opinion the best way to argue with a Bible thumper is to be well armed where the Bible is concerned. The only way to argue with a Bible thumper is to "throw" the Bible at them.

That's pretty well true. There is alot more than biblical views that go against D/s though, and in reality, many passages from the bible support D/s especially with regards to M/f.

Bible aside, my best friend from back when I was about 8 (31 now) has a serious girlfriend who he lives with now. I am out, and in no way hide my sexuality and she hates me. Nonconsentual D/s is very common, and vanillas tend not to understand the difference consent makes. She came out of a marriage where she used to get hit, non consentually, and her kids did as well get beaten pretty hard. So now I've largely lost a friendship as a result so long as they are together which has been about three years now. I also lost my wife when we came out to her family and they hated the notion, as they related it to non-consentual drunken beatings as well. Being out isn't easy, but I won't hide who I am. Many people do accept me. The MOST important thing is that you, and your love accept each other. Then let each other accept or condemn as they may. Let them show their colors, and fly yours proudly is what I say.
United we stand!

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RE: Telling close friends and family - 12/22/2006 5:38:36 PM

domiguy

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Joined: 5/2/2006
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I'm sure youy love your sister dearly, you just exhibited rather poor judgement in exposing her to a side of yourself that there was no way possible that she could accept. Her idea of New Year's Eve is church and games....(I'm assuming that scat is not involved in their games) Honestly what were you thinking?

However I do face a similar dilemma...I'm involved in an unorthodox "organization." I have a very close friend, who just happens to be black,who I think might also be interested in joining this group. I'm excited but our next KKK meeting isn't for nearly two weeks. I can't wait...I'll tell you how things work out!

out.

D.G.

p.s Jesus please protect me from your followers.

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RE: Telling close friends and family - 12/22/2006 5:48:31 PM

whisperedsighs

Posts: 349
Joined: 11/12/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Pickles1995

I don't mind at all going to meet her friends and have done that before......going to her friends house for Christmas. The thing is is that she is trying to get me to come with her on her weekend trip to Illinois instead of me going to my little lifestyle gathering for New Years. I am in school full-time plus work full-time so to have 4 days off in a row for New Years is major rare. I've had this planned ever since I found out I was off New Years Eve.

Go with your origional plans and politely say you have other plans, and then set a date to meet with her another time.

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RE: Telling close friends and family - 12/22/2006 5:53:58 PM

whisperedsighs

Posts: 349
Joined: 11/12/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

I truly believe there is one verse in the Bible that soooooo many so-called Christians tend to forget on a daily basis... perhaps this is a good time to remind her? "Judge not lest ye be judged". Explain to her that one of the wonderful things about Christianity is the unconditional love that is given freely by the Saviour with the hope that those that follow Him will do the same. In fact, she should know that the best way to lead someone to Christ is through example. In my opinion the best way to argue with a Bible thumper is to be well armed where the Bible is concerned.

Believe me, I'm not preaching to you or anyone... just giving you some ideas... Me and mine lean more towards Druidism. But here's a thought for you.... Tell her how sorry you are that she has become so back-slidden in her beliefs that she has to stoop to hateful comments and being judgemental to make herself feel better... perhaps she is the one that needs to spend some time on her knees. The only way to argue with a Bible thumper is to "throw" the Bible at them. I can also tell you from experience that they don't like that, it tends to piss them off. But sometimes you have to make someone angry to kick in their ability to think more clearly.

Best of luck to you and enjoy your New Years Eve at the dungeon.

Jewel

I don't know why it is neccessary to be confrontational. A polite, thank you for your love and concern, saying have a nice day/evening/life, and walking away is just as affective.

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