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How Much It Sucks - 12/19/2006 8:54:28 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline 		I finally gathered together the cojones today to call our local BDSM group.  I had called twice before but got an answering machine with a guy's name, so I never left a message.  Today I got the guy, who had had the number for only two months now and was shocked that it was associated with BDSM.  I called from my home phone - a listed number - lol NOT!  This truly sucks.  I work with high profile people, not just here but state-wide assholes.  In personals and everything, I feel like I'm swimming upstream, inviting both idiots and psychopaths into my life - in a highly conservative community, and taking many more risks than an intelligent person would take.

Fuck it.  Maybe I was smarter in a 'nila marriage, pretending to be a 'nila person.   I feel weary and like I've wasted a lot of time (and taken unnecesary risk) on fantasy.  I'm very tired, and no doubt feeling sorry for myself just now.  This truly sucks though.

MaryT
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How Much It Sucks - 12/19/2006 8:57:37 PM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline 		I truly am confused
 


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~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to MaryT)
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RE: How Much It Sucks - 12/19/2006 8:59:39 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Well your  profile is not found, nobody makes a million without taking a risk, but look at www.drkdesyre.com... waltz around there, find organizations link, look something up in your area.  Go to one of the meetings, no phone required all that.  Kinda like the great-great-great-gramas picnic.......nothing you gotta worry about.  try from there.


Don't know how to help you kid, you gotta open a little,,,,,,,,,,,,,write me.

Ron 

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to MaryT)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How Much It Sucks - 12/19/2006 9:03:32 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		OH my gawd I think Im gunna have a heart attack Ron was just nice!!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



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Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How Much It Sucks - 12/19/2006 9:13:37 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		hey MaryT
 
wow i feel for you, i forget till i read a post like yours, how intense entering this life must be for new folks.
 
you have just made some pretty big steps in the direction of your dreams...and that is where you want to be....right? the ache? the need? the calling to this life?
 
it is undeniable pull, like a current pulling you far from shore in the unknown...i can only imagine the trepidation ....
 
lets try this again but this time minimize the exposure...
 
can you email females in your area? maybe they would be willing to be a buddy for you to be introduced to your local community.
 
i like this approach because it is safer, and you will get to meet some likely great folks.
 
you are new to the boards, yet you have already shown yourself to be intelligent, funny and caring...you wont have trouble making friends in real life at all.
 
"one can not discover new lands, unless he concents to leave sight of the shore" Andre Glide
 
 

_____________________________


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This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to MaryT)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How Much It Sucks - 12/19/2006 9:18:48 PM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		Dont you hate when they change a number and who you think is calling isnt there.
Definitely can be an embarrassment

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How Much It Sucks - 12/19/2006 9:24:03 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT
I finally gathered together the cojones today to call our local BDSM group.  I had called twice before but got an answering machine with a guy's name, so I never left a message.  Today I got the guy, who had had the number for only two months now and was shocked that it was associated with BDSM.  I called from my home phone - a listed number - lol NOT!  This truly sucks.  I work with high profile people, not just here but state-wide assholes.  In personals and everything, I feel like I'm swimming upstream, inviting both idiots and psychopaths into my life - in a highly conservative community, and taking many more risks than an intelligent person would take.

Fuck it.  Maybe I was smarter in a 'nila marriage, pretending to be a 'nila person.   I feel weary and like I've wasted a lot of time (and taken unnecesary risk) on fantasy.  I'm very tired, and no doubt feeling sorry for myself just now.  This truly sucks though.
MaryT



Oh that sucks Mary, but hang in there.  If this is the way you want to live your life, you can make it happen. 
It seems to take time for many of us.  I am sure there are other more credible organizations you can join. 
What state do you live in?

< Message edited by MzMia -- 12/19/2006 9:25:56 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to MaryT)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How Much It Sucks - 12/19/2006 11:16:14 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		Mary, you don't sound like you're having enough mixed fun along this BDSM road.   You may need to take a few days/weeks to regroup, and you may consider dating open minded/versatile vanilla to see what happens.  
I don't suggest vanilla pretending as that becomes increasingly difficult with time, and you will no doubt want to smack your boring vanilla partner at some point to make him/her lighten up.
I think you should hang around here, as you will in time find that learning here is fun, while you make friends.
quote:

MagiksSlave 
OH my gawd I think Im gunna have a heart attack Ron was just nice!!!
You haven't been paying attention well...  Ron is nearly always nice (you know, in the same way your brother punches you to show affection), unless the situation calls for a smack upside the head.    M 

_____________________________

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""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to MaryT)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How Much It Sucks - 12/20/2006 7:04:10 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		I'm confused... your local BDSM group has (or had) a publicly advertised telephone number?  Would you mind telling us which group that is, and where the publicly advertised phone number was obtained?  Since it was public, there's no concern for privacy.
 
How about sending a nice email to introduce yourself (in vague terms) to the munch organizers from your anonymous email address asking for a bit of information, and to meet someone over a cup of coffee to chat casually.
 
John

< Message edited by Rover -- 12/20/2006 7:07:12 AM >

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(in reply to MaryT)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How Much It Sucks - 12/20/2006 7:50:42 AM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks everyone for your kind responses to my rant.  I always look forward to your posts CrouchingTigress.  :)

Unfortunately, I got the number from coloradobdsm.org.  I did write the webmaster and asked them to update their records.  I did attempt to contact the local group through email first but got no response, which should have been a clue.  I live in a smallish community.  The nearest big city (with a thriving bdsm community) is a four-hour drive away, and that probably is my best bet. 

Lack of response to my profile is not a problem, which is why it spends a lot of time deactivated.  This is just a frustrating way to  find people to meet because it lends itself to dishonesty.  I was hoping that a local group might make it easier to find safe people.  But I think someone pointed out earlier in the week that it's reasonable to expect that this should be a lot of work, so perhaps that same person shouldn't pitch fits when it is a lot of work.  

I'll send you a message, Ron.

MaryT

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How Much It Sucks - 12/20/2006 8:38:46 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		This has happened to me on the other side.

When I was in the leadership of the local university group I did list our home phone number but when I left I'm sure I made it clear that they'd need a new phone number.

The group never changed the phone number on any site or any listing or even at the university itself. so over the past three years whenever I've gotten a call I've had to then myself go and say "remove the number for this group" and "No, I don't know what it is now".

Groups change all the time and can be very difficult to find them using telephone numbers or even emails at times.

My best advice is to join a list of events in your area and watch for groups to announce things. When they announce something then go because you know that it will be happening because they just announced it. If you wait a few months things may have changed.

In Indiana we have the yahoogroup IndianaBDSM list and it is wonderful.


_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MaryT)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How Much It Sucks - 12/20/2006 8:27:03 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		Sounds like the group in the Springs. At the risk of a giggle they've had some control issues. If you contact the Enclave in Denver they can get you put together with others in your area.

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How Much It Sucks - 12/20/2006 11:07:59 PM   
ZenDragoness


Posts: 372
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Berlin/Germany
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Sounds like the group in the Springs. At the risk of a giggle they've had some control issues. If you contact the Enclave in Denver they can get you put together with others in your area.
bolded by me

If a group is in the springs, mustn't it be reached difficult?

Seriously MaryT, take the advice and help offered, there are lot of helpful people in the community, but not every group is *cough* organized, some are too cliquish. I understand your frustration.


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aka Morgaine289

http://goldenerkern.blogspot.com/

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How Much It Sucks - 12/21/2006 5:40:54 AM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ZenDragoness

If a group is in the springs, mustn't it be reached difficult?


Not if you have a flotation device.    I knew what she meant.  Thanks for the support.

Thanks, Rose, for the tip.  I'll call them.

MaryT

(in reply to ZenDragoness)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How Much It Sucks - 12/21/2006 6:01:17 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		The journey isn't easy.  The first time i tried to get involved with a local group i contacted the president of the group and asked which venues and meetings would be appropriate for a newbie and his response was, and i quote "We're not here to hold your hand, if you want to be involved you will have to figure it out on your own."  Still, i tried by going first to a sub's SIG (special interest group) where i was told the munch group was for public play and if i wouldn't play in public i couldn't be trusted and to get out and find a different group.  After that, i gave up, for a long time, i wanted nothing to do with the so-called "community" and i took the guy's advice and did things completely on my own.  Years later i found a not-so-local group who was dedicated to education and did NOT host play parties etc.  As far as play and relationships go, i'm still on my own but at least i have an educational resource that i didn't have before.  It takes a while, i'm not convinced i will ever find exactly what i seek but i at least hope to find some joy along the way.

Best of luck to you.


_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How Much It Sucks - 12/21/2006 10:09:22 AM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT

quote:

ORIGINAL: ZenDragoness

If a group is in the springs, mustn't it be reached difficult?


Not if you have a flotation device.    I knew what she meant.  Thanks for the support.

Thanks, Rose, for the tip.  I'll call them.

MaryT



For those with a map and/ or media coverage that would be Colorado Springs...the part of the state currently NOT covered by 4 FEET of snow. Attention skiers you can't get here and we're loving the freshies.

As long as we're talking about what sucks, are there any colorado masochists with a snow shovel willing to deliver?

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to MaryT)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How Much It Sucks - 12/21/2006 10:38:08 AM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

For those with a map and/ or media coverage that would be Colorado Springs...the part of the state currently NOT covered by 4 FEET of snow. Attention skiers you can't get here and we're loving the freshies.

As long as we're talking about what sucks, are there any colorado masochists with a snow shovel willing to deliver?


Actually, I thought you referring to Glenwood ...

It's sunny on the west side, but I've been reading about your blizzard.  Good luck diggin' out!

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How Much It Sucks - 12/21/2006 11:26:09 AM   
xonemasterx


Posts: 59
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Boston, Massachusetts, USA
Status: offline 		Don't stop putting yourself out there.  Going back in the nilla box is a terrible fate. 

Glad you found support here! 

(in reply to MaryT)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How Much It Sucks - 12/21/2006 11:56:34 AM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		Already shoveled to the road in front but still have 2ft of snow against the garage then have to shovel 3 house lengths to get to the road rut. Working on getting a ride from the main road that's plowed and just skiing out. Dogs are having a field day, even the little guys are ok because of the large covered deck.

Glenwood springs you might do a search on here. There are a couple female subs and a male dom that I've spoken with a couple times that seemed nice. If I recall correctly the dom was more high protocol and did seminars..  

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 12/21/2006 11:59:07 AM >

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to xonemasterx)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How Much It Sucks - 12/21/2006 12:57:03 PM   
Sirandlittle1


Posts: 538
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline 		How much it sucks? <.......................................................................................................................................................>
that much!
Same trouble here.
Went to two munches, they never met again.
Went to the most popular club, too many people on smack! and the equipment was dirty, and rather too many obese sweating odd guys, just watching the play who for some reason, were not expected to follow the dress code. Vanilla perves? Plus, no safe sex kits, no clean up materials, and dirty play areas. No thanks.
One invite to a party that i had to decline due to lack of babysitter, which was obviously taken as a NO thankyou.
Ive given up for the time being.
But although Brisbane might suck, the nearby Gold Coast has more to offer, in the new year, we will head that way.
dont give up, just change direction in your searching.
littleone

< Message edited by Sirandlittle1 -- 12/21/2006 1:01:22 PM >

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 20
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