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Dommes Submissives and Slaves - 11/30/2006 1:39:13 PM   
Neilhh


Posts: 5
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		Does a Domme know she wants a Submissive or a Slave or does she see them the same ?
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RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves - 11/30/2006 1:49:38 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Yes I know the difference between a submissive and a slave. I chose a submissive as he meets My needs, desires and wants. I want someone who is more independent of Me in My life. Thus why I chose a sub.

~Lashra


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(in reply to Neilhh)
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RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves - 11/30/2006 1:51:56 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Neilhh
Does a Domme know she wants a Submissive or a Slave or does she see them the same ?

People tend to know the type of person/relationship they want, labels are just personal choices.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves - 11/30/2006 2:32:22 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Neilhh

Does a Domme know she wants a Submissive or a Slave or does she see them the same ?


Yes, I know what I want, and yes there is a difference. 

I pick slave because the word is easier to write LOL (Kidding!)

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to Neilhh)
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RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves - 11/30/2006 6:19:47 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Neilhh

Does a Domme know she wants a Submissive or a Slave or does she see them the same ?



This will depend on the person and how they define the two. You will simply have to ask the Domme you are interested in what she thinks she is looking for, then compare that to what you are willing to offer.

Master Fire


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RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves - 11/30/2006 6:33:01 PM   
mp072004


Posts: 381
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline 		Seeing as I haven't found a consistent and universal definition of either term that distinguishes them from one another, I typically define BDSM terms when I use them, and I ask people who are interested in relationships with me to do the same. You want to be my teapot? Great, what does a teapot do? He receives spankings, gets tied up, and gives good footrubs, you say? Okay, sure, you'd make a good teapot.

Monica

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RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves - 11/30/2006 7:16:57 PM   
Morrigel


Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline 		I have had relationships with both submissives and slaves, and enjoyed both at different times--which one I'm looking for tends to depend of what I have to give in terms of time and commitment.  I tend to think of the relationship with a slave being much more involved, much more intimate on a day-to-day basis, and much more responsibility.

--M 

(in reply to mp072004)
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RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves - 11/30/2006 11:07:21 PM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Neilhh

Does a Domme know she wants a Submissive or a Slave or does she see them the same ?

Depends on the Domme. I personally see a slave as a 24/7 lifestylist who has very little rights in the relationship. A sub is someone who is simply submissive by nature... not 24/7 necessarily. Sub's also have more rights in my book.
 
And yes, I know which I prefer. I generally always know my own wants/desires/kinks

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RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves - 12/1/2006 2:28:31 AM   
FemmeOwner


Posts: 120
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		I'm going to agree with Mikal.  I believe there are very strong, very distinct differences between a submissive and a slave.  A slave is someone who will give over his entire life into my control.  Submissives have needs and wants and expectations the Domme is expected to fulfill.  As a slave owner, my slave looks to me for guidance, support and structure in his life and obeys with unquestioning obedience and love.  Not unlike a golden retriever :) 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal

Depends on the Domme. I personally see a slave as a 24/7 lifestylist who has very little rights in the relationship. A sub is someone who is simply submissive by nature... not 24/7 necessarily. Sub's also have more rights in my book.
 
And yes, I know which I prefer. I generally always know my own wants/desires/kinks


Edited to add: yes, I definitely know which I prefer!  I wouldn't even consider a submissive.  I want a slave at my feet! :)

< Message edited by FemmeOwner -- 12/1/2006 2:29:29 AM >

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RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves - 12/1/2006 5:00:00 AM   
JustWhims


Posts: 9
Joined: 3/12/2006
Status: offline 		i sure as heck know the difference, and know tha i prefer a slave who will make a single choice: to submit. after that, all choices in his/her life are mine to make.
Whims


quote:

ORIGINAL: Neilhh

Does a Domme know she wants a Submissive or a Slave or does she see them the same ?


(in reply to Neilhh)
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RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves - 12/1/2006 6:00:44 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Neilhh

Does a Domme know she wants a Submissive or a Slave or does she see them the same ?



For me there is a huge difference.

The first group is more time limited because it involves a particular psychological dynamic of being submissive to another. I do not personally want someone who is submissive 100% of the time and I have never met someone who was submissive even to just one person 100% of the time.

The second is a relationship and focus issue. Being a slave is a full-time, 24/7 job that is a job. It involves putting the owner first and doing whatever is necessary whenever to make that owner's life better. Sometimes this means that you can't be submissive because owners are people too and make mistakes or do things that aren't best for them. Slaves also may have to do things that seem toppish or dommish from time to time.

I'm sure the differences are much clearer in my mind than I can articulate in words on a computer.

As for what I want, I don't have much time for scenes with a submissive but when I train that is exactly what I get as we explore things and try each other out. I wouldn't have a submissive as a member of my household though; we could be play buddies just like I could be with a pure masochist (if I had time for either).

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 12/1/2006 6:01:44 AM >

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Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves - 12/1/2006 9:18:48 AM   
FemmeOwner


Posts: 120
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		AMEN!

quote:

ORIGINAL: JustWhims
i sure as heck know the difference, and know tha i prefer a slave who will make a single choice: to submit. after that, all choices in his/her life are mine to make.
Whims

(in reply to JustWhims)
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RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves - 12/1/2006 9:27:07 AM   
MistressRENA


Posts: 41
Joined: 7/21/2005
Status: offline 		There is certainly a difference to me and I do definitely have a preference.


(in reply to FemmeOwner)
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RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves - 12/1/2006 5:40:50 PM   
MistressArri


Posts: 56
Joined: 10/16/2006
Status: offline 		There is definanently a difference  to me     currently I have a simple submissive at home and several  BDSM submissives I see on occassion.  However,  I  am seeking a slave to add to the household.  Someone that seeks to give up all  rights and becomes property.

(in reply to MistressRENA)
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RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves - 12/2/2006 11:28:34 AM   
DiamondOrchid


Posts: 172
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		Yes there is a difference. I personally don't care to own a slave. Too much work in my books. I'd rather have someone who is more of an equal to me... someone who can take the lead if needed, and make decisions if required. I realize that other people have different definitions of what a slave/sub is to them; these are just my thoughts in regards to me.
 
D.

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RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves - 12/2/2006 5:23:37 PM   
MistressYlwa


Posts: 263
Joined: 8/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL:  FemmeOwner

I believe there are very strong, very distinct differences between a submissive and a slave.  A slave is someone who will give over his entire life into my control.  Submissives have needs and wants and expectations the Domme is expected to fulfill.  As a slave owner, my slave looks to me for guidance, support and structure in his life and obeys with unquestioning obedience and love.  Not unlike a golden retriever :) 


This is the definition I use.
 
Mistress Ylwa

_____________________________

Mistress Ylwa

You see what power is - holding someone elses fear in your hand and showing it to them! - Amy Tan

(in reply to DiamondOrchid)
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RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves - 12/3/2006 12:08:59 AM   
MsPurrmeow


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline 		I don't know about /a/ Domme, but this Dominant Woman certainly knows the difference. I've been involved in both types of relationships. There is a lot to consider regarding responsibilities and other resources (time, energy, emotional involvement,etc.) that are available and required.

As for what I want to shop for... that's debatable. I've had both types of relationships and I'm capable fo doing both successfully. What I look for is a quality human being. If that person is a slave, then it will be an M/s,O/p relationship. If that person identifies as a submissive, then it will be D/s. Being polyamorous means that I do not need to find one person that fits a particular mold. My needs will be met either way. It's simply a matter of the structure chosen in which to explore the relationship.


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