Dommes Submissives and Slaves (Full Version)

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Neilhh -> Dommes Submissives and Slaves (11/30/2006 1:39:13 PM)

Does a Domme know she wants a Submissive or a Slave or does she see them the same ?



Lashra -> RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves (11/30/2006 1:49:38 PM)

Yes I know the difference between a submissive and a slave. I chose a submissive as he meets My needs, desires and wants. I want someone who is more independent of Me in My life. Thus why I chose a sub.

~Lashra



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves (11/30/2006 1:51:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Neilhh
Does a Domme know she wants a Submissive or a Slave or does she see them the same ?

People tend to know the type of person/relationship they want, labels are just personal choices.



MisPandora -> RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves (11/30/2006 2:32:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Neilhh

Does a Domme know she wants a Submissive or a Slave or does she see them the same ?


Yes, I know what I want, and yes there is a difference. 

I pick slave because the word is easier to write LOL (Kidding!)



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves (11/30/2006 6:19:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Neilhh

Does a Domme know she wants a Submissive or a Slave or does she see them the same ?



This will depend on the person and how they define the two. You will simply have to ask the Domme you are interested in what she thinks she is looking for, then compare that to what you are willing to offer.

Master Fire



mp072004 -> RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves (11/30/2006 6:33:01 PM)

Seeing as I haven't found a consistent and universal definition of either term that distinguishes them from one another, I typically define BDSM terms when I use them, and I ask people who are interested in relationships with me to do the same. You want to be my teapot? Great, what does a teapot do? He receives spankings, gets tied up, and gives good footrubs, you say? Okay, sure, you'd make a good teapot.

Monica



Morrigel -> RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves (11/30/2006 7:16:57 PM)

I have had relationships with both submissives and slaves, and enjoyed both at different times--which one I'm looking for tends to depend of what I have to give in terms of time and commitment.  I tend to think of the relationship with a slave being much more involved, much more intimate on a day-to-day basis, and much more responsibility.

--M 



Mikal -> RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves (11/30/2006 11:07:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Neilhh

Does a Domme know she wants a Submissive or a Slave or does she see them the same ?

Depends on the Domme. I personally see a slave as a 24/7 lifestylist who has very little rights in the relationship. A sub is someone who is simply submissive by nature... not 24/7 necessarily. Sub's also have more rights in my book.
 
And yes, I know which I prefer. I generally always know my own wants/desires/kinks [sm=lol.gif]



FemmeOwner -> RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves (12/1/2006 2:28:31 AM)

I'm going to agree with Mikal.  I believe there are very strong, very distinct differences between a submissive and a slave.  A slave is someone who will give over his entire life into my control.  Submissives have needs and wants and expectations the Domme is expected to fulfill.  As a slave owner, my slave looks to me for guidance, support and structure in his life and obeys with unquestioning obedience and love.  Not unlike a golden retriever :) 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal

Depends on the Domme. I personally see a slave as a 24/7 lifestylist who has very little rights in the relationship. A sub is someone who is simply submissive by nature... not 24/7 necessarily. Sub's also have more rights in my book.
 
And yes, I know which I prefer. I generally always know my own wants/desires/kinks [sm=lol.gif]


Edited to add: yes, I definitely know which I prefer!  I wouldn't even consider a submissive.  I want a slave at my feet! :)



JustWhims -> RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves (12/1/2006 5:00:00 AM)

i sure as heck know the difference, and know tha i prefer a slave who will make a single choice: to submit. after that, all choices in his/her life are mine to make.
Whims


quote:

ORIGINAL: Neilhh

Does a Domme know she wants a Submissive or a Slave or does she see them the same ?




thetammyjo -> RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves (12/1/2006 6:00:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Neilhh

Does a Domme know she wants a Submissive or a Slave or does she see them the same ?



For me there is a huge difference.

The first group is more time limited because it involves a particular psychological dynamic of being submissive to another. I do not personally want someone who is submissive 100% of the time and I have never met someone who was submissive even to just one person 100% of the time.

The second is a relationship and focus issue. Being a slave is a full-time, 24/7 job that is a job. It involves putting the owner first and doing whatever is necessary whenever to make that owner's life better. Sometimes this means that you can't be submissive because owners are people too and make mistakes or do things that aren't best for them. Slaves also may have to do things that seem toppish or dommish from time to time.

I'm sure the differences are much clearer in my mind than I can articulate in words on a computer.

As for what I want, I don't have much time for scenes with a submissive but when I train that is exactly what I get as we explore things and try each other out. I wouldn't have a submissive as a member of my household though; we could be play buddies just like I could be with a pure masochist (if I had time for either).



FemmeOwner -> RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves (12/1/2006 9:18:48 AM)

AMEN!

quote:

ORIGINAL: JustWhims
i sure as heck know the difference, and know tha i prefer a slave who will make a single choice: to submit. after that, all choices in his/her life are mine to make.
Whims



MistressRENA -> RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves (12/1/2006 9:27:07 AM)

There is certainly a difference to me and I do definitely have a preference.




MistressArri -> RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves (12/1/2006 5:40:50 PM)

There is definanently a difference  to me     currently I have a simple submissive at home and several  BDSM submissives I see on occassion.  However,  I  am seeking a slave to add to the household.  Someone that seeks to give up all  rights and becomes property.



DiamondOrchid -> RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves (12/2/2006 11:28:34 AM)

Yes there is a difference. I personally don't care to own a slave. Too much work in my books. I'd rather have someone who is more of an equal to me... someone who can take the lead if needed, and make decisions if required. I realize that other people have different definitions of what a slave/sub is to them; these are just my thoughts in regards to me.
 
D.



MistressYlwa -> RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves (12/2/2006 5:23:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL:  FemmeOwner

I believe there are very strong, very distinct differences between a submissive and a slave.  A slave is someone who will give over his entire life into my control.  Submissives have needs and wants and expectations the Domme is expected to fulfill.  As a slave owner, my slave looks to me for guidance, support and structure in his life and obeys with unquestioning obedience and love.  Not unlike a golden retriever :) 


This is the definition I use.
 
Mistress Ylwa



MsPurrmeow -> RE: Dommes Submissives and Slaves (12/3/2006 12:08:59 AM)

I don't know about /a/ Domme, but this Dominant Woman certainly knows the difference. I've been involved in both types of relationships. There is a lot to consider regarding responsibilities and other resources (time, energy, emotional involvement,etc.) that are available and required.

As for what I want to shop for... that's debatable. I've had both types of relationships and I'm capable fo doing both successfully. What I look for is a quality human being. If that person is a slave, then it will be an M/s,O/p relationship. If that person identifies as a submissive, then it will be D/s. Being polyamorous means that I do not need to find one person that fits a particular mold. My needs will be met either way. It's simply a matter of the structure chosen in which to explore the relationship.




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